a quick update

just another quick post to let you know i'm still here. i haven't collapsed in some overly dramatic depressed funk. in fact my mood is currently quite the opposite!!

as you know i've been feeling quite small and less and less like a bodybuilder. well my friends, my coach... they all tried to tell me that i was every bit the bodybuilder regardless of how i felt i looked. as much as i appreciated their efforts because i could not 'see' it for myself it offered me little comfort.

i knew i needed to take some form of action as my mood was likely not going to be good for me in the long run. well i posted my feelings on a natural bodybuilding board i've joined and i was encouraged to see that the way i was feeling was actually pretty common. i also sent an email to that natural female bodybuilder that i admire, jennifer abrams.

well as luck would have it jennifer was able to really put things into perspective for me. she recognized that my physique leans towards the ectomorphic-mesomorph, in comparison she is a mesomorphic-endomorph. basically she has a fuller more muscular look to her physique where as i tend to have a leaner muscular look. that is why it so hard for me to see myself as a bodybuilder. to further illustrate her point she sent me the url of ifbb pro debbie patton. debbie is, you guessed it, a endo-meso and one look at the pics in her gallery and i could so see the similarities. granted i am no where near the condition debbie is but we 'look' alike. debbie got her pro card by competiting through team universe which is the 'tested' npc show.

anyway jennifer suggested there may be other things i could do in my offseason to help me achieve that bodybuilder look that i seek. i talked it over with me coach and he is cool with me giving it a shot. so i am going to try and see what jennifer might do differently. i am pretty excited about this, change can be a good thing when it comes to physiques.

but just so we are clear. i am a rookie, i have only 1 show under my belt. i am confident i can get workouts emailed to me and i can do them properly and safely. but when it comes to show time... my coach and my nutritionist have to be people i can see. there will be no changes in the 'team' when it comes to show time next year.