plan b?

well things aren't working out quite the way i would like. in the last 3 to 4 weeks things have been seriously slow for me. i've been at home more days per week than i've been at work. for the most part its one to two days of work max., per week. and sadly still, often they aren't even full days.

i am still doing my shifts at the gym and training a few more clients than before so that is helping a bit. but the long and the short of it is, things cannot continue this way indefinately.

the stress is playing havoc on me. and i think we all know what happens when our bodies are under stress for too long. i am currently doing a 2100 calorie diet and i am currently at 160 lbs. 2100 calories is not alot for a fbb, in fact its kind of low. 2300 calories should be my offseason cap. the fact that i'm eating 2100 cals and that i've stopped with the cheats and still at 160 lbs confirms that my stress levels are playing havoc with the scale.

so how do i fix this? what is my new plan? well i think it is time to purchase some steel toe boots and get myself registered at a local temp agency. thus on days when i have no work i can go over to the temp agency and get myself in a warehouse for the day. it won't be great money likely but at this point i need money period. at this point i am seriously concerned with my ability to get back to ohio next year and i also fear my show prep will be in jeopardy.

i'm going in to the gym to meet with my coach/boss to sit down and talk things over with him. maybe he has a better idea? maybe he has some contacts i could use.

there are some who would suggest that i get some of my own design clients and try to freelance on my own, from my home system. well at this point it is either the stress that i feel that i am under or i have lost it. i have been trying to develop a logo for someone and the reality is, i can't seem to come up with anything good. nothing i like... nothing that feels good enough. of course the fact that i know he is asking for feedback online is not helping either. it reminds me a bit of school where we had to get our work critiqued in front of the class by the professor and some of the other students.

i've been logging some serious km's on the bike this summer. i still do the balance of my riding these days with ninja girl. speed racer has either been busy with work or she hasn't been well enough to ride as much as we did together last year. i did recently go on a long ride with speed racer and the chic riders. it was pretty cool at one point there were 11 women all riding sport bikes in the group!!!

well i think its time to get back to bed. i've been sleeping alot the past few days. i'm either coming down with something, fighting something or this is also tied somehow to the stress i am under. i do know yesterday my body temperature kept soaring so i could be just sick. i haven't missed a training day and i really haven't noticed any ill effects on the gym floor so it's really hard to tell. anyway i thought i would leave you with a few pics. a couple from the group ride to london. and a couple shot the day after, ninja girl and i decided to stop and pose with our bikes on our way back from the twisties.