good friday eve

tomorrow is good friday. generally people will be spending time with their families this long weekend. i however will not be with mine. my oldest brother and his wife have invited everyone up to their house for dinner. i imagine there will be quite a number of people there as my sister-in-law has 3 sisters and 2 brothers and among the lot of them, there are a number of children.

i stopped going to family dinners quite some time ago. it just got to the point where the dinners weren't fun or even interesting anymore. i found myself forcing conversation, feigning interest and counting the minutes until it was time to leave.

i eventually began to wonder if there was even a point of putting myself through that and i really couldn't find any compelling reasons why i should. how did it go over with the family? not well. they were visibly hurt, offended and finally resigned to the fact that i wasn't going to show. every now and then my mother likes to try to play the guilt card. just like she tried last night.

i succumbed to the guilt and i went to dinner. it was good friday several years ago. as my sister-in-law was getting ready to plate the meal she asked if i eat fish. i do not, in fact i never have. all they had was fish. i was not motivated to try to make a meal out of side dishes and dessert so i left.

when my mother started suggesting i go to tomorrow night's dinner i mentioned that i would have nothing to eat. she suggested that i bring my own dinner.

yeah... i think i'll pass.