on my mind

lately there is always so much on my mind. i wonder if its a good thing or a bad thing that i spend so much time alone. because lately i spend so much of it thinking. thinking would not be bad if the thinking resulted in action or decisions but currently it just seems to result in... yup you guessed it, more thinking.

the online training thing is not easy. it's open to interpretation and i often wonder if i am doing what i am supposed to be doing or if i misunderstood. on one hand training is training but on the other i really want to make the most of this arrangement, while i have it.

work is clearly becoming a negative situation. i spend too much of my day unhappy, coupled with less days in the gym i find i am more easily agitated.

i am still trying to work through that trust issue i mentioned a few posts back. so far things are going well but it is early and i guess they could go to sh!t as quickly as they seemed to have gotten better. i am also trying to decide how i am going to spend this weekend. and more importantly will i be able to live with myself whatever i decide to do?

one of my friends is leaving. it is a shame because we barely hung out, but she has been there for me, in ways that some other people haven't been. i will miss her, but she feels that its time for her to head back home. tomorrow her and i will go for lunch. i intend to pick up the tab, to thank her for all she has done.

like i can afford to lose anymore friends. bah!