getting caught up

time to catch you up on the going's on in my life... or the lack thereof, depending upon whom you talk to.

it's sunday and i write this in the first hour of my gym shift. it's one of my worst performances on record. i am dead on my feet, i don't think i mailed in a shift this badly in the midst of show prep.

so what has me so tired and devoid of energy? simply i'm not sleeping. those of you who know are likely to give me sh!t. you will reiterate the importance of rest and subsequently growth. i will of course agree with you... however, there are two variables in my life that i can not seem to control; the length of my work day and my ability to shut my brain off and fall asleep. the longer my work day the more active my brain and the less i sleep.

i recently slept through my alarm and i missed half of a training appointment. i don't remember if i mentioned it but i now have a client to train for 36 sessions, tuesday and thursday mornings at 5:30 am. i used to sleep in on my three off days. now i can only sleep in on saturdays. since i've slept through that alarm i've been scared of sleeping through others. i'm afraid to sleep deeply and even more afraid to nap.

training throughout all of this nonsense has been amazing. i am moving way more poundage than ever before. in fact my big three total now sits at 655lbs (based on a 5-8 rep range).

the only downside is the scale. it has leapt to the right and it refuses to budge. i've talked over my weight dilemma with a variety of people because frankly it's really beginning to freak me out. 'coach jen' says not to worry about the added weight right now. she figures that my work schedule and lack of rest have me holding water, (which is one of the bodies stress responses). my boss who does my show prep training had this to say, and i will try to capture all of the eloquence of his statement. "you better quit that sh!t right now... see george.. do whatever it is you have to do... but fix that right now!!". one of my friends from the boards is currently 50lbs over her show weight and fails to see my problem. when i spelled it out for her she noted, "thats the problem with being natty".

well i'm not comfortable at this weight. and i sure as fawk don't want to have to drop 30+ lbs trying to get into show shape. so i've been hacking calories off of my diet plan. i've cut 600 calories off per day and i am currently doing 30 minutes of cardio per training day. my plan, and i do have one, is to be a respectable 155 lbs by the time i go to miami. once i stabilize my weight i will attempt to cut back to off season maintenance cardio. if i can't maintain my wieght with 20 mins of cardio i will have no other recourse but to shave off some more calories.

bodybuilding is a continuous learning process. it's about finding our how your body reacts so you can effectively maninipulate it to promote change.

and of course about being the biggest and the best LOL