so it looks like i have officially stopped journalling my workouts on the sc board. i've been feeling less like posting lately, i'm not entirely sure why. it could be as friends have noticed, an excess of drama on that board right now. the reason that attracted me to it in the first place, was the feeling of comraderie and support that emanated from it. alot of other athletes have since moved on or stopped posted journals all together. the upside is, i should have more time to post in here.
training has been going well. as well as can be expected considering my caloric intake is still about 500 calories shy of offseason. currently my weight is about 138-140lbs. i am happy to report that even my coach has lost his patience with the photographer and he has now started placing calls to source someone else. the photographer has just been too busy with his regular job to even have the time to, as he puts it, 'pick up a camera'.
the one thing that i am, is pretty dayumm sore. i noticed last year that the first real squat workout post show kills you! i'd say it takes about a week for the muscular ache to go away, just about time to do it again ironically enough. so far i've squatted twice and i've had a similar reaction. it really shouldn't continue for much longer.
things are going well at my freelance assignment. i've been putting in a fair number of hours and i think its going well. i've worked for this company in the past. if i remember correctly i was placed there by an agency back in 2002. i was only supposed to do a 2 week week contract... i left sometime in the summer of 2004! i'm hoping for a similar situation this time round.
if you know me, you likely know that i am a modest individual. so at the gym when asked 'so how did your show go?' or 'how did you do?' i tend to reply either with 'it went very well, thank you' or 'i did very well, actually'. when i am uncomfortable i will often end sentences with the word 'actually'. i've been in conversations with gym members who have told me that i should not be like that. that i should share the results with the folks of the gym, so they can celebrate with me and that i should learn to 'toot my own horn'.
as many people at that gym who think well of me, there are probably just as many who don't for whatever reason. i can't help but think that those people are just waiting for me to do something that they can hate on. i don't want to hear that people think i am acting like i think that i am the sh!t. part of me knows you can't control how people think. part of me knows that people are going to talk sh!t no matter what. but i am trying not to give them any additional ammunition.
why am i like this? why do i care so much what people, some of whom i don't even like, think of me? i think it goes back to my formative years. i think if you end up running home from school with the entire grade 4, (or was it grade 5), class hot on your heels, itching to kick your azz... you learn a thing or two about self preservation.
oh... and for the record, the angry hothead didn't develop until much later. my own little ying and yang i suppose. love me, love my quirky azz!!!
until next time...
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