ronnie coleman say's it best "everybody wants to be a bodybuilder...", here is where i need to stop the big man and interject, but not everybody should be.
a friend of mine recently decided to do a show. she trained as best she could. sacrificed everything she felt necessary and stepped onto the stage looking the best she had every looked in her life. the trouble is... the other women she shared the stage with looked that much better. this was not their first time. they were more prepared... and it showed. going by the score sheet alone, my friend did not do so well.
well we all know that's part of the game. but i think maybe we also tend to believe that it can't happen to us. well let me tell you... it can... and sometimes it will. it is guaranteed on any given day somebody is going to bringing up the azz end of the competition.
so what happens when you find yourself filling out the 'also-rans'? well the reality is, your going to have to go back to your home gym. if the other members knew you were prepping, then they are all going to be waiting to hear how you did. the size of the gym and the number of people who knew your intentions directly relates to the number of times you will have to re-tell the same stories. you are also going to have to answer the enevitable so when's the next show?.
well my friend found those prospects so daunting that she stopped training at the gym. she found it easier to use the weights she had at home. she found it easier to stay at home when the definition left and her natural curves came back. now she feels 'fat' and horribly out of shape. now she worries that people will think poorly of her, because she no longer resembles the athlete she did in the weeks leading up to the contest. she found it easier to train at home because she realized that she didn't even like competition and she hated being on stage.
and the sadest part of all... she finds it easier to train at home because she no longer gets any joy out of lifting. somehow she now equates training with show prep. once the very act of getting stronger and lifting heavy was a joy uncontested and now there is only emptiness. now she struggles to find the will to train.
my friend is not the only competitor, that i know, who this has happend to. a few years ago another gym member did her first show. in the years since it has become painfully obvious that something changed for her. her training style has changed along with her physique. where once she had some enviable muscle bellies she now is just lean. year round she sports a low percentage of bodyfat. and each day she does more and more cardio. i even remember hearing through the grapevine that for a while she didn't even like training anymore.
today i sat down with my friend and i told her that there was no shame in putting back on some bodyfat or getting back a more 'healthy' physique. i reminded her that she achieved something that day that few people have the cajones to do. i told her she should be proud of herself, on that day she looked the best she has ever looked in her life. i also told her that she needed to find the joy she once had in lifting. that she should not pressure herself or stress out if it took longer than she felt it should. but mostly i told her there was no shame in realizing competition isn't for you. she needed to know that people are going to ask for a while... but eventually they will stop. and when they ask about the next show tell them that she wasn't sure if she would do another one ... or to ask them when their next show was :awink:
the woman i talked to today... didn't say as much, in as many words but it is very clear that she will never again step on stage. however the scary part is that her boyfriend would very much like her to. so if she ends up in show prep again i am sure it will be at his urging. my next conversation is with him to caution him against pressuring her, i hope i can make him see how dangerous this situation could be for her.
if your going to do a show, make sure you are doing it for YOU. find out everything you can about it. go SEE shows, get a feel for it, know what is expected. i wonder if she was a bit more prepared going in, would she still have gotten to this place?
i mean can you imagine losing your will to train???
i can't.
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