waving goodbye to 2008

in retrospect 2008 has not really been my year. i eagerly await the start of 2009. i can only hope that 2009 proves to be everything that 2008 was not.

i am still finding it difficult to remain positive and upbeat. i am still likely spending far too much time alone. i have also worked things out with the person i angered earlier... although we have yet to sit down and talk. i should add not for their lack of trying, but as i said earlier i'm not always feeling too social.

i have been thinking a lot about going away. moving away to be precise. i guess it sounds like running away but i am not really thinking of it like that. i have been wondering if, in some way, my time here has run its course. maybe if i was somewhere else i would finally be able to figure out the things that plague me. who the fawk am i? and what the hell am i supposed to be doing with my life?

an old friend is in town, one i know from my rollerblading days. he and i spent some time talking, and he has been trying to convince me to move to montreal. it has been his experience that montreal is more of a forgiving province than ontario. that more is accepted and there are less expectations. he says that montreal is the perfect place for square pegs to peacefully co-exist.

i have two really good friends who live there and from what france said when she was here visiting a few weeks back, i am still remembered favourably by some of the other skaters who still live there. the bodybuilding scene in quebec is also at a different level than where i live. bodybuilding is far more serious in quebec and some of our western provinces. maybe in quebec i could find a training partner i could actually keep.

i haven't exactly started to box up my belongings, but i really have been wondering about it. even my mother mentioned today that i should consider moving there.

in other news i trained with a friend yesterday and i managed to get a set a new deadlift personal record. i got 315 lbs off of the floor for 2 reps. of course she thinks i can pull even more than that. i think she said something nutty like 340 lbs for one rep.

i was pretty beat up after that workout so i took some of my christmas cash and i went and saw teri my sport's physiotherapist. she managed to re-align the vertabrae in my neck as well as my shoulder blades, ribs and hips. i left her office with a mobility i haven't felt in quite some time. i was supposed to train today but i don't think i can make it after all. i slept for almost 3 hours after my appointment, i have been up for almost 2 hours and my brain is still foggy and my movements slow. its already 9:00 pm and if i am not awake enough to train by now, even after a cup of coffee, (and yes, i know how you feel about me drinking coffee this late), then maybe i just need another night off?