ebony and ivory

i am excited to blog again. for a while there i wasn't, it is hard to blog when i am in a mood, it makes for a dark blog and that is not really what i want this to be. i had a wake up call, that reminded me that it really wasn't fair to bring other people down. in my defense that was never my intention. but i have a place for my darker thoughts and since they won't be cluttering up my head, i expect this space will be more like it was in the past.

my last couple of workouts have really pleased me and it is kind of funny that they have. it isn't like i set any real pr's, but i am happy with them and that is really all that matters.

a few weeks back i decided to relax a bit on the mid-week diet. it was a test to see if i could have a few more calories and still maintain the look and weight that i chose for this offseason. perhaps the error was in not adding a specific number of calories, perhaps the relaxed nature is where i erred. either way the scale really only went up a couple of pounds (173.6) but at that weight i lost a lot of the detail in my arms and delts. that was not the way i wanted to look and so i returned to my structured mid week diet i've got the weight back down to 170.2 lbs but the detail isn't in yet. i suspect it will return the closer i get to 168 lbs.

there is approximately another 4 weeks until i receive my first set of orthovist shots in my knee. i am nervous about getting the shot but i am excited to get started. i have had a few conversations with people of late who have really inspired me. my g.p for example told me that she was sure that if anyone could get back to training heavy after this set back it was me. that sentiment was echoed by a lot of other people in my life. now i know that the belief that i can come back from this should have initiated within me, but i have always only been able to believe that i could do something after someone else first told me that i could. i know it isn't the best way to go through life but if i ended up believing in myself isn't that all that truly matters?

i drove home from the gym with blue oyster cult's "don't fear the reaper" playing on the radio. since i have been home that song is stuck in my head... i can't say i mind.