it all comes down to this

well my friends the run to the canadian nationals is fast coming to a close. here i sit exactly a week out... i think by this time next week i will be somewhere near wrapping up things at the night show and getting ready to get my eat on.

i can't begin to tell you how ready i am to eat again.

i shan't bore you with the details of the diet, or the training. just know that it is on. i am happy with how i look even though i am still hanging onto a sh!tpile full of water. but yet everyday i can still see how much leaner i am. i am really looking forward to seeing what i really look like when all this water comes off.

my friend speed racer sent me a text recently. she told me that she was proud of me. i thanked her for the text and i have to admit that i am proud of me too. i think that there were a sh!tload of challenges this prep and i managed to find ways around them. i've made some really positive improvements with my physique, as i continue to lean out, they become even more apparent to me. in some ways i am in awe that i was able to do this. guess it just goes to show ya what hard work and perserverance can do.

i'm not sure if i will find the time to blog again before i fly out. in fact i really should be sleeping because i need to get my azz back to the gym for cardio round 2.

allow me to leave you with this picture of me practicing last week end. once upon a time, hands down my weakest pose... currently, not so weak. oh and before i forget... i am so freakin rockin my routine.












p.s: i've got the greatest friends. i WOULD not have successfully made this run without some of the best friends ever. folks i don't know if i can ever truly thank. but here goes, in no particular order, (i remind you that i don't get a lot of carbs so i am likely to inadvertantly miss a name or two... i mean nothing by it):

sappho
nene
julie
terri
speed racer
george
zaccagrfx
berns of passion fruit designs www.passionfruitdesigns.com
poorboi
stryder
missfitchris

i owe you HUGE, thank you

finishing strong

here i sit, in my second last week of dieting. the show is THAT close and according to george i am ready. allow me to qualify that, i am holding a sh!t ton of water. we are convinced it is from stress and expect during the three days i will be alone in my winnipeg hotel room, sleeping, eating and posing i will drop the water that is currently hanging on for dear life.

when i pose, you can see detail and veins that i have never shown before. mixed with the muscle i put on in the offseason and when this water comes off, well it could be pretty scary. of course i mean scary in a good way.

as near as i can figure from the results of the last 3 caliper readings, i have been able to come in without burning off any of the lean mass. the other difference with this years prep is that i haven't always felt as shady as i have in preps past. i also have to say it's only in the final few weeks that i'm noticing a drop in strength.

so in light of the challenges that this prep brought. it would appear that i have met the challenges and i still managed to get 'er done. the other day a friend of mine sent me a link to nadia nardi's blog. nadia basically said that you can't control what happens during your prep. sh!t is gonna happen, an athlete keeps his/her head down and keeps chugging whereas others would fold like a deck of cards and fill the air with their tales of woe.

personally, i'd rather be an athlete.

you know i should put some pics up in here. i'm sure speed racer would agree... she wouldn't strike you as such a visual person but that woman sure loves pics.

till next time... i remain in the trenches!!!!

back in the saddle again!!!!

well i am excited to report, my friends, that once again the miche train is back on the tracks.

since my last post things have taken a turn for the better. i cashed in some of my investments. yes i know that come tax time next year my life is going to suck... but it just seemed to me to be a better option than turning my back on 5 months of dieting.

i finished the first posing routine i've ever choreographed, i showed it to some of my friends and they like it. now these are friends i trust not to lie to me... so i am feeling pretty relieved.

there is actually going to be jan tana spray service for the athletes so that means i wont have to take anyone with me to apply my show colour. in a way this reminds me of the old days when i used to go to the rollerblade contests. i used to travel all by myself then too.

anyway i ordered my plane ticket yesterday and in the evening i registered for the contest. today i booked my time to get sprayed and reserved my hotel room.

all that is left is for me to buckle down in the remaining weeks and do my level best to bring it!!!!

what motivates...

i had an interesting conversation with one of the natty pro's i know. the discussion came about because one of my work mates told me not to get any bigger than i am and that 'mindy o'brien big' was 'too big' and 'ugly'.

the natty pro wanted to know exactly how big i wanted to get. and if my plans to continue to add size involved me crossing the line. from there he wanted to know why i was so attracted to the cbbf as opposed to one of the 'natty only' federations. it was hard to answer him truthfully as he is heavily involved with a 'natty only' federation. his thinking was that it made no sense to compete in an arena where i was likely to be a small fish lost in the big pond. he proposed that in a natty only federation i could be one of the big fishes.

it interests me the different things that motivate people and how they choose the paths they take. my motivation within this sport is not the acquisition of a pro card. i have held a pro card before in a 'fringe sport' that like bb lacks mainstream appeal. the path upon which i am on does conclude with a pro card, however, it is more akin to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. there are more athletes in the hunt for one single seemingly elusive card... and we are talking about a global field of athletes.

the question i ask is what truly is better; the journey that includes the desire to improve one's physique, the dedication required to stay focused through all aspects of the show prep diet and the determination needed to get onstage. or is it truly about getting pro cards and being the big bber on campus... even if the campus is elementary school small??

sinking fast???

well my friends, those of you who still bother to check this place out, i know it has been next to forever since i last posted an update... but allow me to bring you up to speed.

first my father. he had his surgery a little over a week ago and i am happy to report he is successfully convalescing here at the homestead.

secondly, my mother. well things with her had been good up until a little over a week ago when the mystery pains started up again. she has to wait until the weekend before she can get an appointment with the accupuncturist. lately accupuncture therapy has been very helpful for her pain management.

and lastly yours truly. well as you have probably guessed the website project is still on the back burner. frankly i am a tad overwhelmed by things at the moment. sure i keep trying to forage on because well at the 5 week out mark it seems crazy to back out now... but here are my current challenges.

my coach has disappeared. which leaves me with no one to go to winnipeg with and no one to apply my contest colour. it also leaves me with no choreographer for my posing routine although there is the possiblity that i can do that myself. of course about then was when my computer decided to go tits up... and ive only recently been able to get back online. without my computer i haven't been able to edit music for the aforementioned posing routine.

but here is the biggie. looks like im broke, busted and financially spent. so it doesn't even look like i can afford to go to winnipeg either. in the last couple of weeks i have been chasing a couple of last ditch efforts... the elusive sponsorship dollar, which of course remains elusive and i even went to the bank to apply for a line of credit that has been denied.

in a few days i have an appointment with my financial advisor and he is going to have access some of my investment funds for me. i'm still dieting though. so far i'm still in this. i have friends who have offered to give me the cash i need to get to winnipeg but frankly thats more money than i could ever want to borrow from anyone.

so what is the plan? well it looks like winnipeg will be my last show for a while. im going to keep digging forward to turn this into a reality. i have to. i think that my entire life involves me giving up on things before i really applied myself. i think i tend to give up rather than risk failure. so its on me to get her done. and after this show is done... well i will have to retire from competition for a while and get my finances back in order.

i'm currently working full time as a personal trainer at one of the major chains. ive been there for about 3 months now and i am just starting to see the commissions coming in. my mother suggests that i get back into graphic design but i think i would rather kill myself than do that. well actually... i think i would kill myself if i did that.

anyway enough of the maudlin talk. for those of you that believe in the power of prayer... i beg you to do so. for those of you who believe in the power of positive thinking... i ask for your help.

and i will continue to place one foot in front of the other... until i no longer can.

updating again

last weekend i was in columbus for the 2008 arnold classic. ya know i've been to this event religiously since 2005 and i honestly have to tell you this was the BEST trip down by far. there was no drama, no fighting, no hostility, no bad times. this year i went with the RIGHT people.

in case you want to see some pics:
arnold classic pics

mom's condition is day to day. dad has had his bone scan and we are awaiting the results to see what treatment option is best.

thanks to those of you who expressed concern. sorry if i'm not too talkative yet. as much as i am irked by my lack of reaction i rarely feel like talking about it.

perhaps i am indeed my father's daughter.

hmmm....

so it would appear dad got a call yesterday regarding a cancellation, which meant he was able to get in today to get his results. it seems they grade the degree of disease out of 10. unfortunately dad got a passing grade... he got a 7. we are looking at radiation or possibly surgery... dependant upon the results of next weeks bone scan.

i'm still waiting to feel. i do know i tapped out early from my cardio... i couldn't seem to concentrate... but i still haven't reacted...

can someone tell me if there is something wrong with me???

nothing???

again i feel the need to start off with an apology. forgive me, it's been almost two months since my last post. in fact i've had more than a few friendly reminders that i haven't been posting lately. i will get into the how's and why's of that later. the only thing i really want to post today is this...

my dad's biopsy results came back. he now has an appointment in a few weeks to discuss treatment options. the results came back two days ago and what i can't figure out is why i've not had any reaction. i haven't screamed, cried, thrown anything... all i've felt is nothing.

have i officially become a heartless b*tch???

flattered? hardly.

i had an interesting conversation with ninja girl today. i was supposed to go to croc rock last night. however yesterday i was really not feeling very well. i was experiencing chills, i was exhausted, i had a headache and a sore throat. i spent much of the day in bed or shivering in front of my computer. i stayed home.

today ninja girl tried to torment me with the knowledge that one of the bikers had a crush on me. eventually she told me the story.

biker's b, w and i were all supposed to meet at ninja girls place and from there we would head over to the croc. when b got to ninja girls he started fixing her computer. while he was at it, w happened to notice my fbb business card on the bulletin board. apparently he demanded to know who it was. ninja girl told him it was me and he was reportedly quite taken aback with what he saw. he even went so far as to state that he needed to go home and... shall we say take care of himself.

eventually she went on to say how disappointed that he was that i was not making it out to the croc that night and that he demanded that she call me and tell me to come on out.

i guess i am supposed to be flattered by the attention. i also guess she was trying to determine if i was interested. i let her finish telling me her story and i let the matter drop. why? i did not hear a story about someone who had a 'crush'. i was told about a man who saw a picture of me in my posing suit. a man who had a very male response to seeing a woman in a bikini.

this man has seen me and talked to me countless times at the 403 tim's. at no time did he ever express any interest in me. he was not attracted to me, or else he would have been when he saw me fully clothed. he was not interested in me or he would have made more of an effort to talk to me at the bike meets.

i don't find his penthouse centerfold response to my photo flattering in the least.

i've got a date...

saturday june 14, 2008... winnipeg, manitoba. not much by the way of details at this point but the important one is there. i happened by the cbbf website today and noticed that my show date have finally been announced.

20 weeks out = january 26, 2008... buckle up dorothy, kansas is about to go bye- bye

the dark horseman rides near...

my mother still is frequently in alot of pain, although she has been keeping to her new diet. the other plus is that her blood sugar levels have improved. this is the start of my third week at home without work and i just found out my father requires a biopsy. ya know it really kind of takes the wind out of yesterday's front squat pr.

:-(

nothing feels right

on the train from downtown, i was itching to train... i was ready... had there been a stack of weights on the train i prolly would have started tearing the roof of the sucka right then and there. so why when i walked down the hallway did i feel the air rush out of me as though i was a balloon victimized by a needle?

if you look at the workout log, it looks like a decent days training. but it was filled with long periods of staring off into space. i really have to work to psyche myself up to train. oh well the big staff meeting is tomorrow, maybe somehow that will make things feel 'right'.

its 11 pm, i should be in bed asleep. but i can't sleep... i just feel lost.

chiefs and indians

the official gym staff meeting to alert us all to the changes is thursday. but so far it would appear that the interim tanning salon manager is not managing the gym, the previous manager is still managing the gym and one of the guys i work with has been asked to take on an assistant manager role.

i think all told... including the managers we are like 10 - 12 people. seems like an awful lot of management for a staff of 7-9.

i went to rhino's gym today. i liked it. its way smaller than my gym but it has that hardcore, we are about the weights kind of feel to it. i really like that. the equipment seems pretty decent. they dont have as many pieces but they seem to have everything i would need. i still have a few places to check out. but rhino's is high on my list.

oh and umm two more weeks is all i've got at the downtown graphics position.

it's just got to get better... right???

p.s. i talked to my coach sunday night, one of the things i wanted to talk with him about were the trophies. originally he was going to take them with him. i gave them to him after our 'victories' and i felt that if he was leaving the gym, they should leave too. as it turns out he has asked me to take them and hold onto them, so i spent a few minutes today trying to hide them among the rollerblade trophies that have been in my room for years. however, one of the trophies is a couple feet high and its sparkly and purple. its not hiding very well at all.

the countdown is on...

i mentioned in my last blog about a bit of nasty business with respect to the gym and i further mentioned that i was concerned enough to start checking out some other gyms in the area.

well since the first shoe dropped i figure i can let you know what's going on. my coach, has left his position. i would be lying if i said it was entirely of his own free will. basically he felt very much like his silent partners were pushing him out... so he left.

well today i was talking with someone who let me know that the scuttlebutt is that 'they' want me gone as well. basically they want to erase any connection that my coach has remaining with the gym. i was told to 'watch my back'. i was told this, as luck would have it, before todays training session. suffice it to say i've had better workouts. it was really hard to focus on what i needed to do, it was also really hard to be in the gym... knowing that i no longer know who i can trust.

here's hoping i can keep the gym gig long enough to start getting paid from the downtown freelance gig. oh yeah, i owe you and update there too... dayummm this post has a lot of bad news. it would appear that the job description for the downtown gig has changed to include flash and dreamweaver, two programs of which i don't have the skill set required. now it seems that even with this limitation they were still considering me for the position up until the perfect candidate dropped into their laps. thus i will continue freelancing there up until i guess they bring said candidate on board... at which time i will likely have to leave to give him/her a machine to work on.

looks like it's not quite my month huh?

a week of living dangerously...

i had made a promise to myself to post religously every sunday. if you look back over the past few posts you can see i managed to do that for all of two or three weeks. life got a little nutty on me and i've been having more than my fair share of trouble posting anything anywhere... and/or replying to emails.

as you may remember my freelance gig suddenly got slow and i was spending more time at home than i was at work. eventually i made the decision to take on more hours at the gym to tide me over until worked picked up. murphy is alive and well btw, no sooner had i changed my gym schedule did the freelance gig call up and say they were busy. i decided not to undo the changes i made at the gym and as it turns out the freelance gig was a case of 'false' labour.

well the gym as much as it helped wasn't really cutting it and my clients were falling off again. so when i got a call from the agency about a lead on a full-time position downtown i quasi-leapt at the opportunity. i have a freelance position to try the place out, for a while before making my final decision.

i needed to get out of my tuesday gym shift, which the gym was able to oblige. while i was trying to organize my schedule, the previous freelance gig called and once again claimed to be busy and in need of my services. i can't remember if it was a 2 or 3 days work before once again things dried up.

the downtown freelance gig seems to be going well enough. the work is not difficult. it does, in it's favour, offer the opportunity to learn flash and dreamweaver. which could potentially lead to me getting into webdesign... which i might enjoy more than what i do now. the downside is that it is still very much downtown, it's corporate design so i have to dress 'up' and it will be a good 8 weeks until i start to see some money.

trust me when i tell you i do not currently have enough cash to wait 8 weeks to be paid. i'm working 8-4 pm downtown. the plan is to allow myself enough time to get to the gym monday's and tuesday's to work 6-9 pm. as well as to be at the gym early enough on thursdays to finish my workout before my 7:30 pm training appointment. i still have to train monday night's so i likely won't be in bed to till near 1 am tuesday.

last week was a combination of all three jobs and i'm sure you won't be suprised to learn that i spent most of the weekend completely exhausted.

i am also quite concerned about some nasty little business at the gym. frankly it has me thinking it might be time to start seeing what other gym's in the city have to offer. the upside at finding someplace new to train could mean that i might finally get rid of the albatross that continues to haunt me. the legacy of my old training partner. nary a week goes by that someone doesn't suddenly remember her and our marathon training bouts of old.

there are things i know, that are not 'public' knowledge. although a quick google search would pretty much tell you everything you wanted to know and more!!! out of some twisted form of loyalty i temper my responses to their queries so as not to let the 'cat out of the bag'. which is really quite amusing since it is quite obvious from the internet, that she is quite delighted with her new found infamy.

now there is always the suggestion that i somehow could not 'keep up' or that she was so much more of a 'hardcore trainer' than i was. i will accept that towards the end she was pushing way more weight around than i was. but, in my defence, we had different styles of training. wherein she subscribed to the 'by any means necessary' school i was and will always be 'form first'. i will not say that either way is right or wrong. i do know of people who have made excellent gains with what our sport calls the 'cheat' rep. and i do feel that i've made many a gain without the 'cheat' rep.

as far as training goes i have news. the good, the bad and the ugly. the good; i've got strength gains through the roof. i have almost tied or bested most of my last off season's personal best's. the good; i can honestly say that i see improvements in my calves and i am pretty sure my pecs as well. the good; i can still see my musculature even though i am off season.

the bad; i hurt myself on wednesday night doing push presses. although 75lbs is a fairly 'easy' lift for me 85lbs is clearly over my... well... head. :p i continued to train even though as the days progressed my range of motion decreased. until i could barely turn my head to the right or touch my chin to my chest. and even after getting treatment i was in no position to squat, so i didn't train at all today.

the ugly; i am well past my off season weight cap of 155lbs. it's wierd i'm eating 2100 calories and i'm still over 160lbs. but i don't look like i did last off season. in fact i went for a ride today and i easily fit into my leathers. last year putting them on meant passing on the luxury of breathing. now before you suggest that the excess weight is merely water and/or worry weight, allow me to add that my coach recently asked me what i weighed and what i was planning on 'going up to'. which suggests to me that he is starting to get concerned.

a friend saw me last weekend. and though she noted that i was holding weight in my mid-section, (which is usually where it goes), she didn't seem to think i was alarmingly off season. this is comforting, as she is not one to tell you what you want to hear.

hopefully this new work situation pans out and my finances stablize. and maybe then i can find out once and for all how much of this is water/worry weight.

finally, as i mentioned i went for a lovely brisk fall ride today. just my best girl (jade) and i. i am also pleased to announce that the odometer now reads 81882 kms. i put her away last season at 76995 kms. i am a mere 113 kms from a 5000 km season!!!

i better get my azz to bed... it will be 5:45 am before i know it.

oh yeah... lot's of footage up on youtube... i'd post links but i don't have the time. just go to youtube and do a search for michesk8r. happy viewing!!!

thanks for that... not!

i hate that sh!t, i really do.

i don't think i ever told this story before. first, i am loyal, just in case you don't already know that about me. second, my coach has gone above and beyond on my behalf countless times in near 8 years. to the point where i know i will never be able to repay the debt, (fyi, my coach insists there is no debt).

years back, i honestly don't remember how many, i used to have a friend. i say used to because she put me in the unfortunate postion of having to choose between her and my boss... i chose my boss. at the time i worked at the gym full-time. i was also broke as fawk and in no position to be unemployed in any capacity.

my 'friend' found out that she could save a couple of bucks at the tanning salon if she got me to buy her sh!t. i hated myself for it, but i did it. after which i was racked with guilt and i seriously considered going to my boss with the $5 or $10 saving and 'fess up. i spoke to a few other friends who talked me out of it. they reminded me that as an employee i was entitled to the staff discount. they felt as long as i didn't do it again i could and should put the incident behind me.

fast forward a few months, her out of town boyfriend is due to arrive. she asks me about getting him a free trial membership. i tell her that he doesn't qualify as he is not a resident of the greater toronto area, and is not likely to purchase a membership after his free trial. i told her she could purchase a $35 week pass or $10/day single visits. she simply smiled and told me that she would give her mailing address to whomever was working when he signed up.

i was on the gym floor training the day she brought him in. the guy working balked because the out of country address on the drivers license did not match the mailing address given. the guy working went to ask my boss what he should do. my boss recognized my friend and had heard me speak in the past of her out of town boyfriend. while they were speaking another staff member stupidly approved the transaction. likely because my 'friend' dropped my name.

guess what happened? i got to endure a series of lectures from my boss on how i was responsible for how my friends conduct themselves in the gym. twice during that workout he stopped me to talk about it. once when i was speaking with one of my clients. the next morning as i was training a client, he pulled me aside and lectured me further.

how did i handle it? i was enraged. while they two of them were still training on the gym floor i left her a voicemail message. i told her that i got in sh!t due to her shenanigans and that i could no longer afford to have her as a friend. thereby ending the friendship. i did get a couple of teary voicemails that i never returned. mostly because every fawkin' time i was in the gym i received yet another lecture.

there are many who have since told me that i reacted badly, that i should have talked to her. however, i am comfortable with my decision. i don't need friends who are willing to gamble with my ability to support myself all for a $10 savings!!!

so what brought this up?

i missed a call from a friend, while i was training today. i texted back that i was in the middle of training but that i would call him back during my shift. well my friend shows up during my shift and he has someone with him, who he hoped i would let in for free. i let him in only after he handed over the $10 day rate. i seriously hate being put in that position. i know i did the right thing...

so why do i still feel so guilty?

holiday monday

today i talked someone out of competiting. you might be wondering why? you might even wonder where i get off. i'll tell you.

plenty of competitive athlete's have developed eating disorders. it's really not that hard to imagine, we routinely bounce between two conditions; one with a healthy level of bodyfat and the other, the extreme look of stage. somehow on the road to depletion we start to equate the stage look with being 'in shape' and the offseason look as 'fat'.

well guess what? you can't, nor should you, try to sustain your stage look. it's just not healthy. you are literally starving yourself... pushing your body to do more and more work while giving it less and less food. and then one day it's over and it's time to start eating properly. i tell you it is indeed a strange feeling to wake up looking healthy all the while feeling like a fat pig!

still what's the big deal with letting someone try to compete? well with all the stress, the damage that we do to our bodies in the quest for the perfect physique and for microscopic levels of bodyfat... you really have to be sure your in it for the right reasons.

i sat down for a bite a few weeks back with a friend who did a show. she started prepping to see what it was like, to see if she could. many times during the journey, when she realized it was the hardest thing she ever tried to do, she seriously considered quitting. except in doing so, she felt she would let her boyfriend down and so she saw it through... all the way to the bitter end. after the show, she couldn't handle the weight gain. she ate the food she craved... but couldn't stomach being out of stage shape. and thus she found herself in the wonderful world of bulimia.

so what does what happened to one competitor have to do with another? maybe everything, maybe nothing but i do know that this 'competitor' is looking for a goal. a way to help him stay motivated to diet. yes folks, that dayumm show prep diet again. how do i convince people that this lifestyle is so not the recipe for success people expect it to be?

what did i tell him? i told him, by all means train like a bber. run a cutting diet once a year to see what you look like. but do not prep and compete unless you really and truly want the competitive bb lifestyle. there is NOTHING healthy about show prep. when you sit down and consider all the cons... you really start to wonder why people bother; suits, food, supplementation, tanning, diet coaches, training coaches, posing coaches, entry fees, membership fees, gym memberships, hotel and travel expenses, the all out frontal assault on your metabolism, the onseason and offseason wardrobes, photoshoot wardrobes, etc... all for a $10 trophy. but for those of us who live and breathe the challenge, who truly appreciate the beauty of the sport... it truly is worth it.

but it still isn't for everyone.

random thoughts

first thing i want to mention is something i noticed yesterday while en route to the gym. someone was driving a stretched hummer. now on a good day i find a hummer to be an unattractive vehicle. however when you stretch it 15 or 20 feet long you really only end up with a rolling block of ugly!!!

i found a female member on a bench in the locker room today. she appeared to have a compress on her head. i was quite relieved to discover that she was fine and merely resting. earlier in the week i had the misfortune of being the first employee to happen upon some 3D art that some random member had created all over the handicapped stall... and i do mean all over. such a bold and vibrant use of green bean and bile... a true artist. a leg workout had proved to be too much and she projectile puked everywhere. you can tell she tried, in vain, to clean it up as evidenced by the wads of puke soaked toilet paper that was clogging the bowl. so guess what i did for cardio that day? 45 minutes of mopping and plunging... yippee!! of course the question remains why didn't she report it?

i have some good news for you. i've had a design project. i've been working on a logo design for the photographer who did my last photo shoot. well i'm happy to report we have a winner. it's not the design treatment that i like, which is frequently the way in this business. anyway that means the next project on the agenda is the website. where said photo's will finally be up on display.

originally i could come up with no valid reason for having a website. i mean i am by no means a lenda murray and frankly i have a hard time imagining what i would even do with one... or who would even look at it. sometimes i actually wonder who is even reading this blog, ya know? recently a television commercial audition came my way. as it happened i was unable to make the audtion, but i realize now that i could have supplied my url to the casting director. don't get me wrong i don't expected that it would have changed the outcome in any way... but all im saying is, i can finally see a use.

the interesting part will be getting used to the muscle fans. not so much as fans of the sport, so much as fans of women of muscle. those usually referred to as schmoes. i am a simple girl with simple tastes and a personal code not too far removed from half-pint on the little house on the prairie. a lot of things freak me out. like the marriage proposals i get on myspace from guys, thankfully... i am not really ready to be fielding proposals from women... but i digress. there haven't been all that many proposals but i have had a few. usually my intended does not yet speak or write a whole lot of english. i'm sure it goes without mention that i'm not quite interested in communicating in the international language of love.

on the work front things have been a tad spooky for a bit. for the last little while i have been at home waiting to be called back into work. eventually i hit my breaking point and i went into the gym and picked up more staff hours. of course the very next day work called me back in. however, it is still pretty spotty so i am not making any changes to my gym schedule until things get back to normal.

im off to bed. tomorrow is officially thanksgiving and i've got clients to train and a 5 hour shift at the gym. it is also a training day... as is most mondays. looking forward to that.

g'nite.

i've had it... part 2

i guess i have a different idea of what constitutes a pro level physique. i can respect the level of determination and dedication that goes into, piling as much mass as possible onto a body with seemingly little or no regard for asthetics. but that's not what i like. male or female i don't want to see the mass monster. i want to see the classic lines, the tiny waists, the broad shoulders, the TRUE x-frame. but sadly that physique is almost never rewarded at the pro level.

there are a lot of women who better represent the sport in my humble opinion. however, they are losing interest in the competitive aspect of the sport... the sport as it stands now. and i, for one can't blame them. so the physiques that i like are either at the bottomof the pack, not stepping on stage or quitting the sport all together.

i still love the sport. i still desire to find out exactly how far i can take my physique, my way. i still desire to find out exactly how strong i can get, my way. how far i can go, my way. but i'm not going to watch either olympia.

i can't wait to go to ohio in 2008. oh i will to to the men's show. and i will even admit to missing the routines at the fitness internationa but i'm pretty sure i won't be sitting through the figure international or the ms. international to see it. i am looking forward to seeing my firends. i'm looking forward to wandering around the expo, the opportunity to meet new friends and to see some of my favourites in the sport.

i will continue to support the sport at the amateur level. i will hope against hope that somewhere out there, there is an fbb who will save my sport.

but i won't hold my breath!!!

that's it... i've had it!!!!!

as of this moment there is only one professional level bodybuilding show for me. it occurs in ohio in late february, early march.

ya know, my coach took me to my first bodybuilding show many years ago. it wasn't long before i became a fan of the sport of bodybuilding. specifically men's bodybuilding... much to the chagrin of my fbb friends. call me crazy but i will always prefer to watch melvin anthony, victor martinez, dexter jackson and the like in there underwear over the women.

however as i began to show interest in competitive bodybuilding i started to pay more attention to what was happening in the pro level of fbb. interestingly enough i was never a fan of the 'popular' physiques. the one's that go my fbb friends excited, the one's they thought were the best were usually the one's with the lines i least appreciated or they had a look that i had no interest in emulating.

don't get me wrong i do know there is a limit to what i can accomplish with respect to an ifbb pro level physique. i think i have a good genetic package... you can be a good bodybuilder with a good genetic package. to be an ifbb pro you need a great genetic package... and let's face it, you need to do things that i frankly have no interest in doing.

well this past weekend was the olympia and i have to notice a few interesting changes. there was times in the past when the telecast was available and my behind was parked in front of the tv. i was afraid to go to the bathroom for fear of missing something.

more to come... got to run