first of all, i have not lapsed into a rip van winkle-esque coma. but i needed to re-think my "the bads". so i took some extra time to consider what i wanted to say.
i've never been one to participate in the 'us' and 'them' mind sets, with any of the sports i've been participated in the past. i didn't get the bmxers vs. the rollerbladers, or the skateboarders vs. the rollerbladers during my inline skating days. i really don't get the powerlifters vs the bbers or the strong men & women vs the bbers. i don't get any division within the iron sports.
but i currently find myself in full support of the division within fbb. i have mentioned before that there are bbers who are all about the dark side of the sport. bbers who's bodybuilding includes p0rn... mine does not.
lately it seems there are far more challenges facing prepping athletes who aren't about the dark side. while at the same time there seems to be nothing slowing down the progress of the others. which is just great, all the sport really needs is more fbb pro ho's in the professional ranks.
even though i find the dark side to be embarrassing and a blight on the sport, i did tend to turn a blind eye. my errant thinking was that since i wasn't a participant, as long as i lived in a respectful manner, what they did had little effect on me. which i should add is usually the sh!t they always say in their defence. but the reality is, the 'fans' of muscle p0rn errantly assume that ALL fbb's participate in muscle p0rn. secondly, it is even more difficult to be sponsored as an fbb because there isn't a company alive willing to tie its reputation to a muscle p0rn star.
so as my 'mass with class' sister's of iron dwindle in numbers due to health issues, prep issues, monetary issues or a lack of interest in where the sport is heading. the fbb pro ho's seem to be growing in numbers like a cancer.
the shoulder - i continue to have issues with my shoulder. i've been getting treatments by both terri and olivia. some weeks it feels like it's on its way back and other weeks i can barely press marshmallows over head. part of the problem stems from damages incurred during the rollerblading days, (the broken wrist, the separated shoulder and the multitude of rotator cuff tears). add to the the stress injury from some of the more dynamic movements i have added into my training of late, the lateral throws and the heavier push presses, i've ended up with a shoulder that no longer tracks properly and is filled with a lot of scar tissue.
the fatigue - oddly enough continues. i've changed my training from a 6 day a week split down to a 5 day a week, simply because i was too tired to make it through a full training week. i tried changing my off days and even how hard i was pushing myself on the gym floor, but i was still finding i was taking off more days than i was getting in. soldiering through the fatigue, who do nothing more than bring on another stomach episode. so i have learned to recognize the role that the fatigue plays and respect it with the time off my body craves. last week was the first training week i have completed since this madness began. i think i will slowly start ramping things back up and see how i do.
the mood - my mood has been sh!tty of late to say the least. between the stomach, the shoulder and the fatigue i have not exactly been little mary sunshine. but then one of my friends called me on it. she asked what was wrong as she was finding me to be distant and irritable. i guess in my head i was keeping my issues to myself but i have to admit the 'distant' thing really caught me off guard. i asked around and well i was more than a bit shocked to hear things like "well no more distant than usual". but i guess if more than one friend is feeling that, then i guess that makes it true. it doesn't make it any easier to hear, but i guess it makes it true.
i have probably reacted the wrong way to learning of my 'distant' nature. basically i've spent even less time with the friends who find me distant. i figure that while i am dealing with all the other crap, i'm less likely to be fun to be around. case in point, i did recently spend some time with a friend who finds me distant. and although she claimed she would not be affected by my moods suffice it to say, she is not the actress she thought she was, hurt was written all over her face.
yesterday i logged 230 km's on my bike. i went out by myself. not by necessity mind you, i had originally expressed interest in going on a group ride. but when push came to shove, i really didn't trust myself to be anyone. it probably wasn't my smartest decision as i was out on some country roads in the middle of nowhere, but i also didn't lose any friends yesterday so that is a good thing.
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