i still do bad, all by myself

there was good news this week. they called me back to work for a few days. two and a half days work isn't a lot but it definitely beats the opposite.

both my knee and my shoulder haven't been restricting my activities as much as usual. so i am really starting to feel in a pretty good place about that and life in general.

things with my mother appear to be as normal as before. to the point where she is starting to see the humour in the event two weeks ago. i can't speak for the rest of us with a certainty, but i am fairly confident that none of the rest of us see the humour. moments ago she was on the phone telling her friends how 'we almost lost her' a couple weeks ago. yes, i get that finding humour in it, helps her get perspective on it. but what really still gets me is her ability to continue to defend her choice not to go to the hospital. in spite of the fact that everyone including her doctor gave her sh!t for not going.

yesterday i had hopes of setting a huge deadlift pr. unfortunately that was not how my training day turned out. on the upside i did set a personal best, it just wasn't the goal i'd had in mind. and since we know i already slant that way, yesterday my glass was half empty.

well there has been more fall-out from the upheaval of the bodybuilding governing bodies in ontario. the 2010 natural canadians, or the world qualifier as it is officially known, was scheduled to be in my home province. however it is now going to be in laval, quebec in april. the question is, what am i going to do? i really won't have to make an official decision until november 3rd.

the 'i walk alone' behaviour continues. yes, still. i have some people telling me that i shouldn't be concerned by it and other people giving me sh!t for not visiting. it occurs to me that this is one of the few times in my life where i've had so many things going on at once. a hell of a lot of things on my mind, so maybe it does make sense that spending more time alone is what i need?

all i know for sure is yesterday i rode my bike to the oakville bike meet, i actually turned into the parking lot, looked at the line of bikes, and i kept on going. i ended up in port credit sitting on a log at the water's edge watching the canadian geese.