it's beginning to look a lot like...

yeah, it is that time of year. frankly the beginning of my least favourite time of the year. the 3 month span that encompasses xmas, new years, and valentine's. this time of they year really forces you to recognize your failings.

find yourself single through the holidays and know that every holiday 'celebration' is merely another spotlight on your failure to merge. it starts off with the mistletoe at xmas segues into to the obligatory midnight kiss on new year's and finally after a few weeks wherein you are lulled into a false sense of security... bamm you are face to face with an arrow shooting cherub. sure, i do know that these holiday's are really just marketing tools to sell sh!t but that really doesn't take the pressure off.

not for lack of trying, but there has been no changes in my employment situation. xmas will find me under the tree feeling like a bum opening gifts, knowing that i wasn't able to provide any this year. even more exciting is the news that my parents are hosting xmas dinner. i look forward to a house full of guests, with the same zeal that i look forward to my yearly physical. actually i'd prefer the physical. i am currently mulling over a plan where i go to the gym to train, go grab something to eat and head to the theatre to catch the new robert downey jr. movie. if i played my cards right, by the time i got home most everyone would be gone. sure my mom would be pissed... but these days when isn't at least one person pissed at me??

my back is getting bigger or at least it is looking bigger. my quads are shrinking and i am still a few weeks away from starting treatment. through it all i am still hitting personal bests on stiff leg deadlifts. as well i have been using a strength program designed to improve my military press and my bench. with any luck these improvements will translate into muscle gains. it would be nice to have shoulders and upper chest thickness. it would also be nice to have calves and i job but somehow i doubt the fat guy has those pack in his sled.

anyway so add a little positivity to this post, here are some visuals for you to enjoy




















got to tell you i do love this shot!!!















almost makes me want to cry