twisted sister

this post is inspired by a conversation i had today. i was speaking with someone who was able to tell me one of their life's goals. i have to admit that i was a tad jealous. not of the goal per se but that he had one.

it continues to bother me that at this point in my life i still have no idea what i want to do, 'when i grow up'. year after year passes and i still am no closer to figuring it out.

people close to me have made career suggestions. i've been told i would make a great cop. suggested by those unaware of my hair-trigger temper. i imagine i would regularly be called in front of the internal affairs division to defend myself against charges of excessive force. tazing a jay-walker, firing a warning shot into a tire after a routine traffic stop, tossing a smart-mouthed teen into the back of my cruiser and taking him or her to ponderosa*.

family members often suggest that i consider stand-up comedy. i will admit to having a quick wit and hopefully with this blog i have demonstrated that i do have a sense of humour. there are a lot of other funny people who go hit the stage for open mic night. generally they bomb and the reason being is that most of us are funny in a limited capacity.

i can have my family in stitches around the dinner table. why? because i can do a spot on imitation of my uncle noel dancing. everyone in my family knows my uncle noel and they have seen him dance. when i imitate the 'walking up a hill' shuffle he does on the dance floor broccoli, rice and other food stuffs are spray through the air. but i couldn't for example. stand on stage in a comedy club and imitate my uncle. well i could... if i wanted to be heckled mercilessly.

i have tried to make a living in areas that interest me. i do remember my high school guidance counselors recommended that i pick a career that would make me happy. yet i was unable to make a living as a roller-blade instructor abd i was also unable to make a living as a personal trainer.

so until i figure it out, i continue to make pretty garbage. the weekly flyers that i work on are the kind that show up in your weekly newspapers. the one's you may glance at quickly before putting it out with the recycled trash. pretty garbage.

so until i figure it out, i will continue to admire those, like the person i was speaking to today, who knows exactly what they want out of life.

* i am not sure if they still call it that but basically a perp is cuffed and tossed in the back of the cruiser. for added punishment the driver alternates between speeding up and slowing down. the unrestrained perp bounces between the back of the seat and slams into the grill that is behind the front seat. if done correctly the perp's face will have a grill pattern on it, much like a steak on the grill at ponderosa.

extra style points given to those who get the reference behind today's blog's title