they said it would come and i for one did not believe them. at least once every winter they predict a crippling snowstorm. one that is supposed to tie the handcuff the city. they would promise hip-high snow drifts, traffic snarls, freezing rain, locusts, skurvy and pestilence.
what usually happens is a flake or two and a half an inch of snow in lieu of the predicted twelve. so yesterday when the news of the storm to end all storms came down, my reaction was simply... yeah, whatev's.
it did start to snow last night and it kept at it all through the night. i woke up this morning and they reported white-out driving conditions. they recommended people stay home and stay off the roadways as there had already been accidents and several vehicles stuck in the ditch.
i sat at home and i tried to decide whether i'd brave the elements or going back to bed. suddenly i heard a cacophony of sirens. it didn't sound like a single vehicle, it sounded like it was a fleet. it was at that moment i decided to become one with my sealy posturepedic.
two hours later i once again toyed with the idea of going to work. one look out my bedroom window cured me of that thought. the street in front of my house had not been cleared and there was a substantial amount of snow piled onto it. my car with its low profile tires was buried in the driveway. it my dad and i two hours to clear the snow and free our vehicles. my father armed with his trusty snow thrower and me with a shovel.
there is something about large quantities of snow that increases the idiot factor. allow me to cite some examples from today:
as i mentioned my dad and i were trying to clear the snow from our driveway. the woman next door jumped into her suv and backed out onto the roadway and promptly got stuck. by the power of 'rock and roll' she was able to make her way back into her driveway. my father and i went over to provide neighbourly back-up. she was determined to leave and i was perplexed. if she couldn't get her car out onto the street how was she going drive on it? i asked her if she had four-wheel drive. apparently it did and i suggested she put the vehicle into four-wheel low. she asked me to show her how to do that. what is the point of having four-wheel drive in your suv if you don't know how to engage it? i pointed out the switch marked all-wheel drive. she started the vehicle pressed the button and slid out of the driveway like a greased pig. last i saw she was happily motoring up the street.
my dad got it into his head that he absolutely had to go shopping. my dad's vehicle does not have awd or 4wd and the street in front of the house had yet to be plowed. my dad was out of the house for three minutes when my mother called me. i looked out the window and my dad's car is on a 45 degree angle in front of the house. he isn't going anywhere. i got back into my wet snow clothes and i went out onto the street to give my dad a push. no dice.
i grabbed a shovel and i was out there shoveling the street in my effort to dig my dad's car out. i alternated between pushing the car, shoveling the snow and i may have said some unpleasant things about the car's mother. i definitely remembered making the suggestion that my father's car was a female dog.
eventually we got the car back into the driveway. the entire vehicle and all its windows were completely snow covered again. my dad couldn't see shit in any direction. once we had the car in the driveway i wanted him to turn off the engine and call it a day. my father in his infinite wisdom wanted to try to blindly back his car around mine. the experience ended when i stood in front of his car screaming and gesturing wildly with the shovel. suddenly he saw the light, parked the car and got out.
there is a rule on the iternet "pics or it didn't happen." so to that end:
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