getting a few things off my chest

it's probably well past time for an update. my apologies.

the week immediatly following my show was the natural canadians or the world qualifier as its officially known. and just this past weekend we had the OPA provincials (the untested tier). in the past few weeks i've really had the opportunity to observe the behaviour of other competitors. this observation has helped me to further learn the type of athlete i wish to be and be known as.

first of all allow me to state the obvious... we all want to win. any athlete who tells you they don't want to win is either a dayumm liar, or not much of an athlete. however, there is a difference between wanting to win and some of the sh!t i've been seeing lately. in any sport there are things that improve your chances for success on the playing field, in bodybuilding some of those things are; diet (you have to STAY on one and stay true to your diet), cardio (see diet), training (see diet) and sleep.

i almost seems like some athletes feel they are owed wins, wether they have done all of the work or not. you are also not owed a win if you are bigger than your opponent, especially if you are bigger because your bodyfat percentage is higher. our sport is judged on symmetry, size and conditioning. sometimes people seem to forget about that final requirement.

you should be judged on how you show up THAT day, and as an athlete you should go into the show knowing that. you can't expect the judges to score you higher because you've been in better shape in the past and they 'know' you can do it again. show them you can do it again by showing up in shape!!!

don't make a habit of slipping off your diet, training or cardio schedule and then put yourself into the situation where you have to try dangerous techniques to 'catch up'. there is no glory in dying on a high school gym floor because you were trying to win a $10 trophy.

and finally, for most the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is a pro-card. well the 'pro' in pro-card is an abbreviation of the word professional

pro·fes·sion·al (pro-fěsh'i-nul)
- Of, relating to, engaged in, or suitable for a profession: lawyers, doctors, and other professional people.
- Conforming to the standards of a profession: professional behavior.
- Engaging in a given activity as a source of livelihood or as a career: a professional writer.
- Performed by persons receiving pay: professional football.
Having or showing great skill; expert: a professional repair job.

suffice it to say i've seen a lot of athletes, those who already have pro-cards and those still in pursuit of one who have failed to exhibit professional behaviour.

you don't turn the bodybuilding stage into an episode of 'girls gone wild - spring break'. if you are beaten by another competitor, learn to suck it up and lose with grace... allow yourself to be disappointed, but take that disappointment and use it to fuel your next trip to the stage... next time come more prepared. i'm not saying this sport is not without politics and i'm not saying that it is alway fair... but what i am saying is we all need to take responsibility for the times when we step on stage and we were not prepared.

/rant

have a great day.

no, the the victor goes...

so there i am at work and my father calls. he wants to know if i am expecting a package. well i was... could they have shipped my overall trophy already?? then he said something about it came from speedracer. well that's not the OPA and it took me a second or two to realize what was going on.

my buddy speed racer sent me a congratulatory bouquet of 'flowers'. here is how they looked and of course since i am back eating clean... i had to put the 'roses' in the refrigerator for safe keeping. since i am allowed one meal per week that isn't clean i am guessing these 'roses' will last about 6 weeks.

i have said it before i will say it again... i have the BEST friends!!!

and to the victor goes...

the 3 cheese bison burger, sweet potato fries and heidi's mile high chocolate cake!!!

this will be a short and sweet blog entry. you might be interested to know that i weighed in at 134.4lbs. there were 6 of us in the heavyweight class and i won. and i won the overall. that alone is a lot for me to wrap my head around... but there is more. i am now qualified, i guess beyond a shadow of a doubt to compete at the national level.

that's where i am i right now. trying to absorb the fact that after 2 years of competition and only 2 shows i now have the right to compete at the natural nationals. i don't know... somehow it almost doesn't seem real?? it feels somehow like it should have taken longer???

anyway the letter of resignation is complete and sitting on the desk in front of me.

shots taken before prejudging at the hotel

the end of the road...

i am sitting here in my room waiting to eat before i head out on the road. that's right today is the day i drive up to the contest. i weighed myself at 135 this a.m. i still have a day of water drop and other activity before weigh-in's tonight. either way i will definately be a heavyweight... which was the plan.

on sec... the microwave beckons.

so what can i say that hasn't already been said? i am coming to the end of 26 weeks of dieting... dieting without cheats or treats. i think throughout that 26 week run i had two 'sick' days where i was unable to complete my training. but otherwise i have done the dayum thing. i look, in my humble opinion and the opinion of others who were along for the ride last year, much improved. my coach went as far as to say that i look this year like a completely different person.

which brings me to my next point. i AM a completely different person. well in the sense that i have grown alot this prep and i have learned alot about myself. first of all i am stronger than i knew. the diligence to the diet, all that fawkin cardio, and this last week without benefit of sweetener. okay the sweetener thing is huge. i have a sweet tooth... nah fawk it all of em are sweet. i am so very proud of the fact that in order to get what i want i was able to forego sweetener in my coffee, tea and oatmeal. i went without sugarless gum and i did not drink any crystal light or diet sodas. i realize now... within reason there is nothing i can't do. which is giving me the courage to do something else.

i am going into work on monday after the show and i am giving my 2 weeks notice. my current job in advertising enables me to enjoy some economic freedoms but it does nothing for my soul. due to the nature of the 'business' as they like to call it, (fyi you can even hear the fawker pronounce it with the quotes around the word), i am unable to really train clients. training clients at the gym provides me with much needed balance. regardless of how much i might b*tch about unfocused clients... there is a part of me that very much enjoys helping people or fixing things. that part of me is never satisfied with just making money. i guess my displeasure at my situation is part and parcel of why i find myself so depressed at work and so disgusted with my co-workers. i realize now more than ever that i do not fit in there.

so the plan is to go back into freelance computer graphics. i have contacted my agency of preference already and put out a few feelers to some friends. im really going to try to stay closer to home as well. a 9-5 existance will work well with training clients before and after work and more importantly will keep my own training on schedule!!!

the risk is... it generally takes 8 weeks before the cheques start rolling in from the freelance agency. the smart thing to do would be to stay at my current job and bankroll some cash and then make my move (fyi, show prep financially wipes ya out), but staying would surely have me kill somebody... i kid... maybe.

besides if this show prep has taught me nothing it has taught me that i am a survivor. i can and i WILL rise to any challenge.

ok time to hit the road. sometime saturday evening this journey will all be over.

i can honestly say i look forward to my next challenge.

thanks to those of you... who've been following along. i appreciate the support, perhaps more than i could ever express.

cheers

i am not dead!!!

forgive me friends i realize now it has been quite some time since i last posted any updates, thoughts or what have you. if it wasn't for dannie sending me some offline 'are you alive messages' there would likely still not be any new posting.

first of all i have a few friends who are causing me some worry lately. i had a friend 'crash' at a bodybuilding show last weekend and i took it upon myself to race to the drugstore for the help she needed. i've had a friend recently text me that he and his lady were breaking up. a bad situation, don't get me wrong by my friends level of depression and how he chooses to express it have always been of concern to me. thus the day without 'contact' was unnerving for me to say the least. and finally my friend with the serious health issue is having more than her share of challenges bouncing back this time. there are frequent periods of days on end without updates. i try not to worry... i don't always succeed.

we are however in the last 9 days of stage prep. 'we' being myself, my coach and george my diet guy are all quite pleased with where i am sitting at this point of the prep. i am about a 1lb heavier than at this point last prep, yet a 1% point leaner in bf. small changes on paper but the difference in physique is remarkable. i have managed to lose in 25 weeks of crystal clean eating 35lbs. i hope to still lose a smidge more before we cut my water next week.

i need to get my azz to the gym for a.m cardio. i currently have 6 more days of a.m/p.m cardio... and frankly i can't wait for that to be over.

i leave you with a pic from may 21... enjoy.

the new 'fad' diet

there is a new 'fad' diet out there. the new atkins, the new south beach... its called the 'show prep' diet.

as you probably know i am an active member on a few bodybuilding boards. and by my nature i am a supportive individual who wants to see everyone around her live up to his/her potential and rise to any and all occasions. sounds pretty good right? well maybe not.

you see the bodybuilding forum is home to a few different types of personalities. simply; the fan, the weekend warrior and the competitive athlete. on one of my boards, the environment is very supportive and the competitive athletes are championed by, for the most part, the rest of the board. from time to time a weekend warrior will catch the 'fever' and throw his or her hat into the competitive ring.

well the latest trend has me concerned. concerned because i realize now that my natural inclination is doing people more of a disservice than a service. in the last little while we have had a lot more board members who are in excess of 40lbs overweight throwing their hat into the competitive ring. now allow me to fully qualify the severity of that decision. i am not talking, in most cases, about 40lbs to stage weight... but rather 40lbs above where they SHOULD be starting their contest diet.

these people are trying to lose 60-80 lbs in 20+ weeks. standard show prep is not a healthy way to lose a few pounds. we are talking about, some pretty extreme measures in order to get down to the level of conditioning that competition is about. so we have these people crash dieting and its got to be even more unhealthy for them than it is for the rest of us.

okay im not liking where this sounds like its going. now it sounds like maybe i think i am all of that. don't get me wrong i am not all of that... i know my faults, i am aware of my shortcomings. but im also aware that i am indirectly setting these people up for failure. they, for the most part, emulate the focus and determination of the competitive athlete. which is great... except when it gets them to step on stage when they clearly aren't in contest shape. so far the audiences have been well behaved and forgiving... but we have all been to shows where there are people who heckle... and believe me it isnt pretty.

its not only unfair to the out of shape competitor, who for the most part should be applauded for getting into the best shape of their life. but it is also unfair for the competition who have struggled to come in shredded to the bone. all that hardwork and they have to get compared to someone, who for all intensive purpose, looks as though they did not diet.

now it would appear that some of these people on the board, or this board in particular, respect my opinion. and thus i realize now, i have to be a bit more responsible in my actions. i have to learn how to be supportive of their desires to lose weight... but also how to tactfully steer them away from the stage, when they aren't ready.

of course the other reality is... at this point in my prep. i really should be responsible for no one's actions but my own.

just under 8

yup that's right just under 8 weeks out. sitting at around 16% with best guess a good 12lbs still to go.

the routine production has begun in earnest and already, two weeks in, the music and choreography has changed entirely. i know my coach... he wants this years routine to blow the doors off of what we did last year. and if you know me... you know thats exactly what i want too.

the prep has started to get challenging. my day routinely begins around 5:30 am with a trip to the gym, most days for a.m cardio. unfortunately my day is also routinely ending around 11 pm. i am definately not getting the rest i need. work has been insanely busy and i frequently find myself still at work at 7 pm. i have been cancelling more evening appointments with my clients than i make. i am still getting to the gym to do my workouts but that is also contributing to the late nights.

in order to take my body where it needs to go we are currently running 3 no carb days per week. since i'm frequently asked if that is really no carb or if i get vegetables allow me to address that now. first yes, i do get vegetables however there is a ceiling on the carb intake from those vegetable sources. secondly i would like to know who exactly is out there running a pure protein, no carb diet and what fawkin roto-rooter type laxative program are they running to keep the plumbing moving smoothly????

interestingly enough, my training has not suffered as much as i feared it might with all the no carb days. perhaps its more about my tenacious nature than anything else. i've been having more workouts that end with me feeling completely spent and in desperate need of a power nap in the ladies locker room. but even from last time things are looking better. the hams are coming in nicely, i finally have both sides of the horseshoe on my triceps... and i'm even happy with the definition showing in what little calves i have.

work is a bitter pill and that is a situation that HAS to be addressed as soon as this show is over.

i have so much more i want to share with you. i hope i can find some more time this week to post up. time... its one thing i just can't seem to find enough of. hey isn't that a song lyric??

have the best day you can!!

in the land of a.m cardi-uggggh

a scant 10 weeks out. starting to feel the effects of 16 weeks of dieting. tired, cranky, weak and easily irritated. a virtual pleasure to be around.

i have an appointment on wednesday with my diet guy to make the next series of changes to take us in the final approach. currently sitting at 151lbs and 3 weeks ago i was 19% at 155. best guess i am currently in the neighbourhood of 17%. the mirror is starting to be my friend.

a couple of pics for your viewing pleasure. the first march 11 at 155lbs and the second march 25 at 152lbs.

sorry to have been such a stranger.

after the arnie... the ohio wrap up

it was the best of times... it was the worst of times.

as you know i am dieting. thus i had to put a lot more thought into this trip than the miami one. for example i had to pack food, enough food that would take me from my house to the hotel room in columbus. i calculated that i would require 3 meals (9:30, 12:00, & 2:30), since my flight to columbus would arrive at 1:45 and army's would arrive at 3pm i should be able to get my 5:00 meal in perhaps a tad late but not by much. or at least that was my plan.

the flight out of toronto to pittsburgh was uneventful and on time. i was sitting at the departure gate in pittsburgh waiting on my connection to columbus when they announced my flights cancellation. i was put on the next available flight to columbus departing at 5:30 pm!!! i was also given a $5 voucher for a meal.

well the rental car was reserved under my credit card as was the hotel room. i also was the only one of us travelling with the directions to our hotel. i called army and told her what had happened. i gave her the rental car confirmation number and luckily she was able to pick up the car. she spent the afternoon with her coach... a man i like to call happy jack. little did i know this was going to be a constant throughout the weekend.

well the first challenge proved to be figuring out what to eat at the airport at 5:00 pm that would keep me on track and also not screw with the water drop that i had done to prepare for my photoshoot. the shoot!! dayumm that was supposed to be either thursday night when i got in or early friday a.m.

when i got into columbus it was 7 pm the flight out of pittsburgh was still delayed as they had to change the tire on the plane. part of me would have liked to have seen how they jack up a plane... and exactly where do you keep the spare? we got to the hotel to find out that they released all the double occupancy rooms. since we had a valid confirmation they gave us two single rooms for the price of a shared double. from there we went to the grocery store and bought our staples for the weekend. then since we still had happy jack with us, we had to take him back to his hotel room and then return to our own. it was 10 pm when we got back to the rooms and army headed straight to her room and to her bed. again what would prove to be a constant throughout the weekend.

i was up until sometime after midnight cooking enough food and portioning out what i needed to take me through the weekend. i also connected with the photographer. he offered me a 9:30 am shoot but army needed to take happy jack to the expo for 9 am. i have heard over the years that it's imperative that an athlete not go to a shoot alone. since army was going to be squiring happy jack around we needed a plan c. for the photoshoot.

plan c was iffy at best. the photographer is a diabetic and has been having a difficult time of it. he was not sure what time he could get to the expo and he was not sure how long he would feel well enough to stay there. when he was on his way over to the expo he was to call me and we would meet up and do the shoot somewhere on the expo grounds. now originally this shoot was supposed to take place somewhere a bit more scenic than between the booths at the expo and i had purchased an outfit with which to wear during the shoot. nothing crazy... he wanted me to wear something like 'i would wear in the gym'. knowing that he couldn't possibly mean what i wear to the gym i went out and got something lycra based. long story short... he never made it to the expo.

army and i left the expo early, we went to world's gym to train. we needed to get our 'swole on' before going to the women's final. we were able to buy a weekend pass and we took advantage of that... we then proceeded to train. army sure was different this time. in miami she kept wanting to do more and more exercises, however in ohio she couldn't seem to get out of the gym fast enough. i was barely able to fit in all that i needed to do (chest, abs and cardio).

traffic was a bit chaotic and we were a little late getting to the venue. army stopped to talk to IFBB pro vicki nixon, who frequents a couple of the boards we are on. the show started and we missed the first two fitness routines... one of which was jen henderschott. you NEVER want to miss jen henderschott perform and i definately should not have missed this one. turns out she was retiring from competition and this was her final performance.

so after the show we head back to the hotel. i'm amped and ready to go. army however is not... so she burrows into her room and calls it a night. hmmfffk

saturday morning i took the car and went to the gym by myself. i had tickets to the men's final but army wasn't interested in the men. she had planned to train at the gym saturday evening with happy jack. i had one of the best workouts all weekend at the gym. maybe it was because i was by myself and i could train without the impatient, unfocused sidekick. or maybe it was because i met a couple of the fbb's who were training there. i met a really nice woman from wisconsin. there was this huge fbb and she looked really familiar to me. as we passed a couple times she smiled and said hi. eventually my curiousity got the better of me, i waited till she was between exercises and i approached her. turns out she was the same fbb who met and befriended my ex-training partner when she was at world's last year. christina and i had a nice chat and i've talked to her, via the internet, quite a few times since then.

met army back at the hotel, i quickly got cleaned up and then we headed over to the expo. it was a little disappointing army didn't want to get too far away from happy jack and the truth is... he just wasn't that big of a draw to me. i would rather have spent more time exploring the booths and seeing what could be seen. sure it was crowded as fawk but that is kind of part of the fun of the arnold. i got a hold of the photographer and army and i went over to where he was set up in a nearby atrium. it was a pretty quick shoot and i have yet to see any of the pics from it. afterwards army got something to eat and then we headed back to the expo. as we got closer to the booth we ran into happy jack who was going for a walk. army dumped me like a hot potato and toddled after him. i went back to the booth, grabbed my belongings and went outside to flag a cab back to the hotel.

$25 bucks later i was back at my hotel. i had asked the cabbie as i didn't know the city like he did, when would be a good time to call a cab to get me to the finals on time. he told me that 6:30 would be plenty of time. i got cleaned up... fawk that i was dressed to the nines. i started calling the cab company at 6:25 and i could not get an answer. i went out to the front desk to see if i could get some other numbers to try. i got through at 6:35 and the dispatcher told me that he could have a cab at my hotel by 6:55... five minutes before the start of the show!! he then berated me for not calling from 6 pm. well i figured i'd be in my seat sometime between 7:15-7:30... it would be bad but not horrific. however i was still waiting in the lobby at 7:10! the dispatcher claimed that his cab had come, had waited outside and eventually 3 people came out and took off. as i was sitting in the lobby in a chair facing the front door... with a clear view of the driveway i knew this to be bullsh!t. he told me he could have another cab there by 7:30. that would have me in my seat by 8:00 and i would have missed all of the final routines... the best part! i cancelled the cab and went back to my room clutching my $75 ticket.

i started calling army to let her know i didnt get to the show and i was waiting at the hotel room. the plan was to go to the after party after i got back from the night show. there was no answer on her phone. maybe she was still training with happy jack? i called every 15 mins or so until 10 pm when she finally answered. she was outside the hotel. apparently she had left her cell in the rental car and after training with happy jack they went out for dinner. army announced that both she and happy jack were tired and not going to the after party. fawk!! further she went on to say that she was not interested in going to the gym sunday a.m before flying out. fawk x 2!!!

i went back to my room, changed and started cooking the food i needed to eat sunday. the longer i spent in my room the more annoyed i got and the more i fumed. i decided two things. 1. i was definately going to the gym to train... i was NOT wasting any more money. 2. i was NEVER going to another competition with army. i like her, don't get me wrong. i know most of what happened was not her fault but i didn't want to spend all that money to go to ohio to spend it home alone. i can do that cheap here!!!

sunday morning i told her i was going to the gym. she said she would go too as natty from the boards was coming down and wanted to train with us. we got to the gym and there was a photoshoot going on with IFBB pro's dexter jackson and gustavo badell. you could still train they just had the middle area of the gym somewhat cordoned off. we decided to train shoulders as thats what i needed to do. army wanted to make a big production out of planning what we were going to do. i told her that first i needed to warm up and i proceeded to do so. next thing i know the two of them are on the other side of the gym in a squat rack. fine, i had work to do and i was still in a funky mood. it wasn't 30 mins later when the two of them were back at my side. they were done!!! i still had arms to train. and then happy jack started callin... he was in a mood and wanted army to pick him up and take him to the airport. so without benefit of a shower or anything we were off to pick up happy jack.

the flight back to toronto went smoothly since i didnt leave ohio until almost 3pm i was afforded lots of time to think about the weekend. the hotel was $50/night, it had a kitchenette, a 24 hour grocery within walking distance and was 15 mins via highway from the venue. the rental car was $60 for the weekend. and finally ive been to the arnold 3 years running. i know a lot of people off of the boards and seem to make friends when i am there. do i actually need to go with anyone??? i think not!!!

"isn't it ironic... don'tcha think?'

this past weekend was my annual trip to ohio for the arnold classic. and while i had high hopes for it to be the adventure of all adventures i was sorely disappointed. unlike previous trips there were no 'fights, arguments, mis-understandings and/or hurt feelings'. but unfortunatley there wasn't the high level of fun and frivolity that i was counting on either. i was a bit disappointed about that but what i heard this morning help put sh!t all in perspective for me.

i heard that dayumm sentence again. i didn't want to hear it the first time and i definately didn't want to hear it the second time. after so many years of a clean bill of health i guess i thought my friend was out of the woods. today i heard... not so much.

i find it oddly ironic that i spent this past weekend with people who have happily ingested and inserted the very chemical that my friend has to take. however my friend is not happy about it... in fact my friend abhors this drug but knows that it's necessary to help in this fight. those same people load there bodies as well with anti estrogen's to help fight the side effects of the drug. as well, in the case of most if not all of the females they take it to supress their bodies natural secondary female characteristics. in the quest for bigger growth and leaner bodies. my friend is taking the anti estrogens as well... but actually for the reason that the drug was intended... to help the body in this fight.

now those drugs don't easily go into the body. in fact our bodies are machines that seem to perform best... in most cases when left to it's own devices. we have bodybuilders both professional and amateur getting sick and dropping dead from years of abuse. in fact i know of a bodybuilder who hasn't been in the game that long... but due to health issue present before the drug use and subsequent abuse could verily well drop dead long before reaching their goal.

friends trying to stay healthy, friends who don't care if they die. it's truly ironic. i understand the concept of doing whatever it takes to live your dreams. but if your life is not precious to you, what of the people you leave behind? the other part thats kind of hard to grasp... is what about people like my friend who KNOW how precious life really is?

i still love bodybuilding. i still understand why the drugs are in the sport. i still admire many of the bodies that are not natural. i am glad that we have the medical knowledge to use these drugs to help people, like my friend, get healthy again. i am relieved that the condition was caught early. i am continually amazed by the fortitude and strength that my friend has. you can't help but admire someone who never takes that 'why me' approach but rather just says 'ok, how do we fix this'.

without a doubt... the biggest, strongest person i know... is not a bodybuilder!!

ohio bound!!!!!

tomorrow is the day!! i leave to go to columbus for the arnold classic. the ASC is one of the premiere bb events on the schedule. its a fitness weekend that i really dont have the words to describe. i mean it started with the bb show but its way more than that now. there are martial arts, mma competitions and demonstrations. gymnastics, cheerleading, figure skating, arm wrestling, olympic lifting, power lifting... the list goes on and on.

in classic miche style there is still lots to do and of course i am running short on time. but i guess i can always sleep on the plane. LOL

i ran into army last night on line. im not sure which of the two of us is more excited. but its really going to be a good trip this year... i can just feel it. the advantage this time, over the trip to miami, is that we are no longer strangers so i think thats going to make this adventure even better. as well from the posts that she has been writing on the boards, she expects that we will be hanging together for the balance of the weekend. a stark contrast to last year.

so how am i looking? well i'm pretty pleased with how things stand. i'm fairly confident i could take pics in a cropped top and not look like the michelin man. granted i dont have hard granite abs but it's not bad for an offseason look. my best ab look i think ever. and to think i still have a good 20+ lbs to lose.

i took progress pics on the weekend and they are by far my best pics since i started this diet. finally i can truly see that i am on track. in fact i even crawled back into the posing suit. if i get a chance (sorry had to stop to laugh hysterically for a minute), i'll post up the new pics.

the continuation...

i had a lot on my mind, but not a lot of time. so this is the continuation of my last entry:

we are a little over a week away from the arnold. my other friend army, who coincidentaly is in the army, and on her way back from a month long posting in japan. we are both very excited about hanging out again in ohio. army and tg are dieting for the same show again this year and they both would like me to be there. but for many reasons that's not in the cards. i've been racking my brain for a present for army. just want her to have something from me that says even though i can't be there i'm behind you... get 'er done. thats the message i get from the t-shirt tg sent me and the message i hope she got from the slippers i sent her.

well army is not the 'fun slippers' type. but she does love to train in a ball cap. i've been seeing that roots 'canada' ball cap and i've decided to pick one up and give it to her in ohio. if she trains in it, it will be like i'm there reminding her that any unscheduled stops at the cheesecake counter will get her a miche-sized azz kickin!! army's more inclined to respond favourably to vinegar that she would with honey. just a part of her charm i guess. LOL.

i've got a shoot scheduled for ohio. nothing crazy big but i still want to look my best. i am desperately trying to shed as much bf as i can before i get down there.

i'll be seeing george tomorrow to see what changes we will make in the diet. the good news is i finally have a date. june 9th has officially been announced as the show date. another promoter had to pick up the ball. they are basically adding the natural event to the card of the untested show they already had scheduled.

the show is going to be in sudbury, which is a 4-5 hour drive. i was concerned that my coach b, might not be able to make it. as a back up i asked speedy bike racer if she could be there. most of the stuff i could probably do on my own, but there is no way i can put the contest colour and pam on myself. it's a great relief to know that she said yes. having her colour me will be weird but will it be any more wierd than last year with b and his lady friend?

cannon was recently back in town. yes, i know people with real names. i like to use nicknames... just because i chose to air my life and thoughts in this forum does not necessarily mean that everyone i know wants to as well.

once upon a time i played football. i don't remember if i ever mentioned that before. when i started playing cannon was a team mate. she eventually moved to the u.s and i don't see her too often. i'm glad that we were able to get caught up over a cup of coffee. i don't fell like i have alot of friends but the one's i have, that have stood the test of time... are special.

speaking of special friends. s-nj dropped me a quick email, monday morning, to tell me that she had injured herself. doing something that she loves, but it's fairly serious and it's definately going to slow her down a bit. she had recently been hitting the gym regularily and was starting to see the kind of changes that truly improve the quality of one's life. not the sh!t i do... but the important stuff. i'm sorry she had a setback. nobody i know bounces back quite like s-nj... but i have to admit this injury has me concerned.

i'm quickly running short of patience these days. it's part of the reason why i finally quit the hip hop class. i just can't find the energy to keep doing something that i suck at, that i don't seem to improve at, or that i still don't even really understand why i was doing it. during last sunday's class i fell behind again and i found i was more irritated than usual, and far more than the situation warranted. rather that put myself in a postion where i might frighten the little dancing girls with a full on miche-tantrum... i'm going to tap out. maybe i will try again... after the show is done.

funny... i sent the instructor an email explaining why i wouldn't be back for a while. i found her response somewhat entertaining. first she feels that i have been 'improving', clearly what she sees in the mirror and what i do are two different things. but the best part was when she told me that she thought i was too hard on myself... oh yeah??? you think??!!!

i'm a competitive personality and an athlete to boot... you bet your lulu lemon coverd azz i'm hard on myself...

it's all a part of my charm :-)

what's new?

well i guess the biggest change is in my physique. yeah!! of course changes feel incredibly slow and i'm still way behind where i was last year at this time. i was looking at my pictures from last year recently. i was about 10lbs lighter and showing way more muscular definition.

as you know my friend tg recently sent me a t-shirt. i called her to thank her and i found out that she has been having some issues with her hips. she has been wearing a lift in her shoes to help balance out her hips and reduce her pain. the imbalance of course, has been compounded by the heavy lifting and the hard training involved with our sport.

both tg and i enjoy 'fun slippers' and she hasn't been able to wear hers for some time. she had a backless pair of curious george slippers. she has been told to wear her lift at all times and since the lifts will not stay in without backs... she had to park george.

well i couldn't have my friend going without fun slippers. so i got her a pair that match the dog slippers that i have. she called me on saturday, she got them, she loves them and the can 'slip' around the house with her lifts in.

here is a shot of me coolin' in my pair:















and the latest comparison:

lesson's learned.

this is going to be a long one. i will likely post it in stages.

my friend had been told to take chromium picolinate to help with body fat reduction. since i'm in bb and lean mass is paramount to bb she asked me what i knew about chromium p. i had heard of chromium p but i didn't know anything about it.

a google search told me that it was a natural supplement and it wasn't likely to injure anyone who took it. it was reported to control the bodies insulin response. but here's the kicker... there was no scientific evidence to support the products effectiveness. tests were done and apparently the data was somewhat inconclusive.

the last time i saw george i told him what i had read about chromium p and he explained why the data was inconclusive. chromium p is a valid product that does indeed help control the bodies insulin response PROVIDED the user actually HAS diabetes!! in a diabetic body it controls insulin and that in turn does help some diabetic patients lower their body fat. however if your not diabetic, then there is no need for insulin control.. your bodies is already doing that and subsequently your body fat is not magically lowered.

the same he said, could be said of ALA, alpha lipoic acid. again if you have diabetes it's probably going to work. if you don't it's not. well guess what was on my shelf at home? ALA. why? because i was told to take it to help control my offseason body fat. did i not look up ALA before i bought it? i did. but the only information on it that i could find, that i could understand was that it was not harmful.

i also want to mention another product that was recommended to me. again, i attempted to research it but i was unable to find any more information that i could understand, beyond that it wasn't harmful. i just don't speak medical-ese.

GABA, gamma-aminobutyric acid. because i wasn't sleeping i was told to take GABA. it was supposed to hlep me sleep and have the added benefit of increased growth hormone production. thus i was going to sleep like a baby and i was going to grow bigger muscles. well i can't say that my sleep improved. on nights that i wasn't going to sleep, i still didn't. on nights that i was... well getting up the next morning was a challenge.

when my offseason weight became more of an issue than i could bare, i went to see george. i mentioned taking GABA to help me sleep and he told me something pretty fascinating. GABA, in his opinion, is not the best product to recommend to improve sleep. it's best application is to patients with depressive disorders. it can be very calming and can help those patients sleep. well what about the growth hormone production? as a natty i might be looking at a percentage of a pound of lean muscle growth. however... and this piece of knowledge was huge. GABA can trigger depressive responses in patients who are not depressed!!!!

so likely the GABA was helping me to feel even sh!ttier about my weight issues, upping my cortisol production (one of the stress hormones that hinders fat loss) and possibly even helping me feel the need to binge eat.

so we add that all together with the overindulgent 4000 calorie a day diet and it is really no wonder that i had weight issues.

and who do i think is at fault for all of this? me!!! i went looking for the 'secret' to bb. i was somehow convinced that there was something that i wasn't doing or was doing incorrectly. in 6 years i've added a fairly decent amount of muscle mass to my body. and i managed to do it without getting fat.

i'm not being overly dramatic. i normally offseason at 22-23% bodyfat. which is a decently athletic look, soft enough to encourage muscle gain but with enoght muscular definition to look athletic. this offseason i hit 30%!! which is soft enough to be soft with the muscular definition of a coil of kolbassa!!

as far as i know, i'm currently between weigh-in's, i'm down about 13 lbs. i would guess around 23% and i am now just starting to get compliments. people have noticed the weight loss. my face is leaner, my legs, stomach and arms have all come down. i've lost two inches off my chest and waist and another inch off of my hips.

i'm hoping to be down another 10lbs by ohio. that might be a lofty goal but i might be doing a photoshoot down there and i would prefer to be considerably leaner.

these lessons i won't soon forget.

uggghh

last week wednesday i had a follow up appointment with george. he was happy with the rate of which i'm dropping the weight and he was hesitant to make any more changes at this time.

the downside was missing my regular wednesday night workout had me training 5 days in a row to get back on schedule. well monday was the 5th day and i have to tell you it was a battle of wills. on the drive to the gym i was yawning, not a good sign. i managed to get through the workout ok, but i really didn't feel like i had the gas left over for cardio. in fact i was halfway to the locker room when i got a text message from a friend off of the boards reminding me that i could tap out of cardio but the other girl on stage likely wont be. i did my cardio. the intensity wasn't there but hopefully that won't matter.

so your probably wondering how i'm doing? here is my first progress comparison:















and my last comparison:

i did not fall off the earth

forgive me friends for it has been a month since my last 'confession', i know some of you have been worried. i recieved more than an email or two just to check that i was still playing a part in the oxygen - carbon dioxyde cycle.

first let me catch you up on what's new. the date of the show? still a mystery. i called the promoter when i first heard that the date of the show had been changed to mid-may. the promoter told me that he had not changed the date of the show and that it was still the end of april. of course the date in question already had a show on that date and its highly irregular to have shows on the same date... unless the locations are very far apart. i was told that he needed to look into it and that i should call him back a week later. from then i could only reach his voice mail and none of my messages were returned. to date i have had three show prep appointments with george with no confirmed show date.

since then i've heard from two different sources that the promoter who has been doing the show, is no longer doing shows with the OPA. so now what? will somebody else pick up the ball or will there be no natural show in ontario in 2007? that's where things stand at this point. but wait, i've been dieting since the 9th of december, what about that? well... i'm aiming for that mythical may 17th date in the hopes that rumour is true. if it's not then there IS a untested show the weekend following. i have no real desire to do an untested show but by that point i will have already been dieting for 6 months. it's time to do something and get back to growing.

it also officially looks like my friend tg and her husband will not be in ohio with army and i. just so you know show tickets, hotel reservations and plane tickets have all been purchased for the 2007 arnold schwarzenegger classic. its going to be a fun show to watch. plus a lot of members from my board will be attending the event and its very likely i will get to meet more of them.

speaking of tg she bought me a shirt. it came in the mail a few weeks back and i was really touched when i opened it. that one simple gesture made me feel like i truly had the support of a friend, who sees me as a bodybuilder as well, even IF i refuse to cross the supplement line. the interesting thing is, i hit a personal best squatting the first time i wore that shirt in the gym. below is a pic of me post workout.

2007... a new beginning

i was listening to a radio show yesterday, the dj was talking about 2007. he mentioned the futility of making reservations, he suggested instead to attack the new year. 'go and get' what you want in '07.

later last night i rented a movie. it wasn't a 'good' movie but the story was thought provoking. the hero in the movie had a history of hitting a modicum of success but he was forever held back by his fear of his success.

just when he should have done something to move forward to the next level, he would experience fear on a level he could not identify. he went surfing instead of to a meeting with a potential sponser. and he drank till he was sick the night before the big competition.

i've been thinking. there was never a missed meeting, nor any lapses in sobriety. but did i so fear failure that i sabotagued myself enough to not be truly successful? have i truly attacked what i wanted? have i ever truly attacked my dreams. if not why? is there some reason why i feel i don't deserve happiness or success?

what's worse miche? walking through life searching for something unknown or tearing into what i want and letting the chips fall where they may?

perhaps it's finally time to find out? surely it's possible to achieve my dreams?

you can't always get what you want...

so sings mick and the boys. and alas that is what i am here to share with you tonight. second week of the diet was not as inspiring as the first which sucked, but that is life. and the last squat of the year did not go as well as i would have liked... which also sucked.

the squat was likely a product of bad timing and poor judgement. my pc went down on wednesday and i think i allowed myself to be so distracted by that, that i trained the wrong muscle group. so instead of squatting on wednesday i was forced to squat today. the problem with that was that i went to the skatepark with the guys last night and spent a couple hours in the mini ramp. likely not condusive to a positive squat performance. oh well... i guess there is always next year???

the physical changes continue. its so much easier to quickly get to my target heart rate and keep it there. the rings feel loose. i feel stronger, i am continuing to breathe better. and visually i look tighter.

i opted out of all family holiday celebrations. i had no intentions of getting off the diet and i did not want the added headache of explaining to my family that i could not and would not eat any of the food they had out. selfish? perhaps but i wasn't feeling particularly strong either of the days my family got together and with a 40lb loss ahead of me... i felt it was better to be safe than sorry.

oh yeah... this is good, so the date of my show is likely changed again. the question remains to when? i hope to find out by early next week. hopefully before i go see george.

onwards and upwards the battle continues.

one down 19 to go...

the first week of the diet is in the history books. i'm both pleased and a little disappointed all at the same time. first of all the good; i am down 3.5lbs, i'm 5'8" smaller in the waist and 1" smaller in the chest. not bad for a week, but i'd be lying if i didn't admit to hoping for a greater loss.

i thought i'd share some of the positive changes that i've noticed in this first week. first of all my favourite change, doing cardio is getting easier. i'm not saying i was horribily out of shape but there were a couple times during that first session were i thought i might have been walking towards 'the light'. climbing the stairs at the carpark is also getting a little easier. the rings on my fingers fit looser. my personal favourite, the veins are starting to reappear on my forearms. i am actually getting stronger.

sadly my mother feels its necessary to point out how 'fat' i've gotten. somehow she is convinced that i am unaware of the difference in my physique. today she amused herself by poking at me and announcing that i was exploding out of my clothes. apparently at the family function last night she was telling all who would listen that they wouldn't believe me if they saw me. she told them how big my azz was and how i was 'exploding'. oh and this is rich. they have determined that i actually purposely plan these diets around the family functions so that i won't have to go. okay people what kind of nutbar goes on a 5 month diet to avoid their family???!!

this weekend i officially put my bike away for the winter. speed racer and i are storing out bikes together. speed racer insists that her bike is a boy and so perhaps before i left jade i should have sat her down and had that 'little talk' with her. hopefully i won't end up with a couple of pocket bikes come spring.

anyway here is a pic of zeph and jade as they hunker down for winter... well assuming we ever actually get a winter.

movin on up... ahhh... make that down

so here i sit almost the full week into the diet of 2007. sure it starts the last 3 weeks of 2006 but since the rest of the 17 weeks are in 2007 it all counts. the question is, how is it going? well i would have to say it's going pretty well. i'm actually feeling pretty positive about things. i guess i forgot how well george knows me. i stepped on the scale on day 3 and i was happy to note that i had already lost 2lbs of water, i haven't been back on since but i already feel the difference.

i have a funny feeling that i wasn't having a horrific, almost unrecoverable post show rebound. i think now that i was simply eating far and above the calories i should have. even when i started dropping calories i never got it any lower than 2600/day. when george took a look at what i was eating he told me that i wasn't active enough to require that kind of caloric intake. so next offseason i will take it back to 2300 calories per day and keep that scale around 160lbs. my metabolism can not handle in excess of 2300 calories per day. bodybuilding is about learning. the more you know about what works for you the better condition you will be in. i have no hard feelings about the months i trained with jennifer. granted i did lose my ever loving mind when the scale shot to the right and set up camp but i learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are limitations to the amount of calories i can process.

on the other hand the exercise changes she made have worked for me. my massage therapist tells me that she can feel a difference in my musculature. both in size and in density. if she is right, then april should be a very exciting time for me.

i noticed some nasty changes when i got to 173.6lbs; i lost strength in the gym. i know you would think that since i was heavier i'd be that much stronger but i would end sets literally gasping for air. not because i had reached muscular fatigue but rather because i had to stop to catch my breath. in fact i almost fainted after a set of deadlifts last week!

climbing the stairs at the carpark at work always had me grossly winded by the time i reached my car. for someone who is in the gym 4 times a week it was hard to feel so out of shape.

i literally had no clothes that fit comfortably. last week friday was the gym's xmas party. i wore the same outfit i had in miami, but with one hell of a difference. it barely fit. who am i kidding it did not fit. and if that weren't enough i had to move jade from the bike shop and into storage, (she is going to spend the winter hanging out with her buddy zeph). well i hope this isn't too graphic for you but i dayumm near gave myself a hysterectomy trying close my bike leathers. i was fat... and im not talkin 'bout the p to the h. i'm talkin somebody call jenny craig!!!!

by saturday i expect all of my water weight to be gone and from there i will concentrate on the real weight i have to lose to make my april dreams a reality.

next stop 10%!!!

p.s. a lot of you have taken the time to tell me that you support me in this journey. i want to thank you all for your support... i wish i had the words to tell you how much that means to me.

p.s.s i had posted this and logged off before i remembered that i wanted to share something else with you. i set a personal best on the gym floor last night. it was part of the reason behind this flurry of blogging today. i easily got 8 reps with a weight i struggled to get 5 with previously. it was so easy in fact... had it not already been my final set i surely would have thrown on more weight and tried a previously untested weight. i hope im still this energetic the next time i squat!!!