i had an interesting conversation with ninja girl today. i was supposed to go to croc rock last night. however yesterday i was really not feeling very well. i was experiencing chills, i was exhausted, i had a headache and a sore throat. i spent much of the day in bed or shivering in front of my computer. i stayed home.
today ninja girl tried to torment me with the knowledge that one of the bikers had a crush on me. eventually she told me the story.
biker's b, w and i were all supposed to meet at ninja girls place and from there we would head over to the croc. when b got to ninja girls he started fixing her computer. while he was at it, w happened to notice my fbb business card on the bulletin board. apparently he demanded to know who it was. ninja girl told him it was me and he was reportedly quite taken aback with what he saw. he even went so far as to state that he needed to go home and... shall we say take care of himself.
eventually she went on to say how disappointed that he was that i was not making it out to the croc that night and that he demanded that she call me and tell me to come on out.
i guess i am supposed to be flattered by the attention. i also guess she was trying to determine if i was interested. i let her finish telling me her story and i let the matter drop. why? i did not hear a story about someone who had a 'crush'. i was told about a man who saw a picture of me in my posing suit. a man who had a very male response to seeing a woman in a bikini.
this man has seen me and talked to me countless times at the 403 tim's. at no time did he ever express any interest in me. he was not attracted to me, or else he would have been when he saw me fully clothed. he was not interested in me or he would have made more of an effort to talk to me at the bike meets.
i don't find his penthouse centerfold response to my photo flattering in the least.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
i've got a date...
saturday june 14, 2008... winnipeg, manitoba. not much by the way of details at this point but the important one is there. i happened by the cbbf website today and noticed that my show date have finally been announced.
20 weeks out = january 26, 2008... buckle up dorothy, kansas is about to go bye- bye
20 weeks out = january 26, 2008... buckle up dorothy, kansas is about to go bye- bye
Monday, December 10, 2007
the dark horseman rides near...
my mother still is frequently in alot of pain, although she has been keeping to her new diet. the other plus is that her blood sugar levels have improved. this is the start of my third week at home without work and i just found out my father requires a biopsy. ya know it really kind of takes the wind out of yesterday's front squat pr.
:-(
:-(
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
nothing feels right
on the train from downtown, i was itching to train... i was ready... had there been a stack of weights on the train i prolly would have started tearing the roof of the sucka right then and there. so why when i walked down the hallway did i feel the air rush out of me as though i was a balloon victimized by a needle?
if you look at the workout log, it looks like a decent days training. but it was filled with long periods of staring off into space. i really have to work to psyche myself up to train. oh well the big staff meeting is tomorrow, maybe somehow that will make things feel 'right'.
its 11 pm, i should be in bed asleep. but i can't sleep... i just feel lost.
if you look at the workout log, it looks like a decent days training. but it was filled with long periods of staring off into space. i really have to work to psyche myself up to train. oh well the big staff meeting is tomorrow, maybe somehow that will make things feel 'right'.
its 11 pm, i should be in bed asleep. but i can't sleep... i just feel lost.
Monday, November 12, 2007
chiefs and indians
the official gym staff meeting to alert us all to the changes is thursday. but so far it would appear that the interim tanning salon manager is not managing the gym, the previous manager is still managing the gym and one of the guys i work with has been asked to take on an assistant manager role.
i think all told... including the managers we are like 10 - 12 people. seems like an awful lot of management for a staff of 7-9.
i went to rhino's gym today. i liked it. its way smaller than my gym but it has that hardcore, we are about the weights kind of feel to it. i really like that. the equipment seems pretty decent. they dont have as many pieces but they seem to have everything i would need. i still have a few places to check out. but rhino's is high on my list.
oh and umm two more weeks is all i've got at the downtown graphics position.
it's just got to get better... right???
p.s. i talked to my coach sunday night, one of the things i wanted to talk with him about were the trophies. originally he was going to take them with him. i gave them to him after our 'victories' and i felt that if he was leaving the gym, they should leave too. as it turns out he has asked me to take them and hold onto them, so i spent a few minutes today trying to hide them among the rollerblade trophies that have been in my room for years. however, one of the trophies is a couple feet high and its sparkly and purple. its not hiding very well at all.
i think all told... including the managers we are like 10 - 12 people. seems like an awful lot of management for a staff of 7-9.
i went to rhino's gym today. i liked it. its way smaller than my gym but it has that hardcore, we are about the weights kind of feel to it. i really like that. the equipment seems pretty decent. they dont have as many pieces but they seem to have everything i would need. i still have a few places to check out. but rhino's is high on my list.
oh and umm two more weeks is all i've got at the downtown graphics position.
it's just got to get better... right???
p.s. i talked to my coach sunday night, one of the things i wanted to talk with him about were the trophies. originally he was going to take them with him. i gave them to him after our 'victories' and i felt that if he was leaving the gym, they should leave too. as it turns out he has asked me to take them and hold onto them, so i spent a few minutes today trying to hide them among the rollerblade trophies that have been in my room for years. however, one of the trophies is a couple feet high and its sparkly and purple. its not hiding very well at all.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
the countdown is on...
i mentioned in my last blog about a bit of nasty business with respect to the gym and i further mentioned that i was concerned enough to start checking out some other gyms in the area.
well since the first shoe dropped i figure i can let you know what's going on. my coach, has left his position. i would be lying if i said it was entirely of his own free will. basically he felt very much like his silent partners were pushing him out... so he left.
well today i was talking with someone who let me know that the scuttlebutt is that 'they' want me gone as well. basically they want to erase any connection that my coach has remaining with the gym. i was told to 'watch my back'. i was told this, as luck would have it, before todays training session. suffice it to say i've had better workouts. it was really hard to focus on what i needed to do, it was also really hard to be in the gym... knowing that i no longer know who i can trust.
here's hoping i can keep the gym gig long enough to start getting paid from the downtown freelance gig. oh yeah, i owe you and update there too... dayummm this post has a lot of bad news. it would appear that the job description for the downtown gig has changed to include flash and dreamweaver, two programs of which i don't have the skill set required. now it seems that even with this limitation they were still considering me for the position up until the perfect candidate dropped into their laps. thus i will continue freelancing there up until i guess they bring said candidate on board... at which time i will likely have to leave to give him/her a machine to work on.
looks like it's not quite my month huh?
well since the first shoe dropped i figure i can let you know what's going on. my coach, has left his position. i would be lying if i said it was entirely of his own free will. basically he felt very much like his silent partners were pushing him out... so he left.
well today i was talking with someone who let me know that the scuttlebutt is that 'they' want me gone as well. basically they want to erase any connection that my coach has remaining with the gym. i was told to 'watch my back'. i was told this, as luck would have it, before todays training session. suffice it to say i've had better workouts. it was really hard to focus on what i needed to do, it was also really hard to be in the gym... knowing that i no longer know who i can trust.
here's hoping i can keep the gym gig long enough to start getting paid from the downtown freelance gig. oh yeah, i owe you and update there too... dayummm this post has a lot of bad news. it would appear that the job description for the downtown gig has changed to include flash and dreamweaver, two programs of which i don't have the skill set required. now it seems that even with this limitation they were still considering me for the position up until the perfect candidate dropped into their laps. thus i will continue freelancing there up until i guess they bring said candidate on board... at which time i will likely have to leave to give him/her a machine to work on.
looks like it's not quite my month huh?
Sunday, October 28, 2007
a week of living dangerously...
i had made a promise to myself to post religously every sunday. if you look back over the past few posts you can see i managed to do that for all of two or three weeks. life got a little nutty on me and i've been having more than my fair share of trouble posting anything anywhere... and/or replying to emails.
as you may remember my freelance gig suddenly got slow and i was spending more time at home than i was at work. eventually i made the decision to take on more hours at the gym to tide me over until worked picked up. murphy is alive and well btw, no sooner had i changed my gym schedule did the freelance gig call up and say they were busy. i decided not to undo the changes i made at the gym and as it turns out the freelance gig was a case of 'false' labour.
well the gym as much as it helped wasn't really cutting it and my clients were falling off again. so when i got a call from the agency about a lead on a full-time position downtown i quasi-leapt at the opportunity. i have a freelance position to try the place out, for a while before making my final decision.
i needed to get out of my tuesday gym shift, which the gym was able to oblige. while i was trying to organize my schedule, the previous freelance gig called and once again claimed to be busy and in need of my services. i can't remember if it was a 2 or 3 days work before once again things dried up.
the downtown freelance gig seems to be going well enough. the work is not difficult. it does, in it's favour, offer the opportunity to learn flash and dreamweaver. which could potentially lead to me getting into webdesign... which i might enjoy more than what i do now. the downside is that it is still very much downtown, it's corporate design so i have to dress 'up' and it will be a good 8 weeks until i start to see some money.
trust me when i tell you i do not currently have enough cash to wait 8 weeks to be paid. i'm working 8-4 pm downtown. the plan is to allow myself enough time to get to the gym monday's and tuesday's to work 6-9 pm. as well as to be at the gym early enough on thursdays to finish my workout before my 7:30 pm training appointment. i still have to train monday night's so i likely won't be in bed to till near 1 am tuesday.
last week was a combination of all three jobs and i'm sure you won't be suprised to learn that i spent most of the weekend completely exhausted.
i am also quite concerned about some nasty little business at the gym. frankly it has me thinking it might be time to start seeing what other gym's in the city have to offer. the upside at finding someplace new to train could mean that i might finally get rid of the albatross that continues to haunt me. the legacy of my old training partner. nary a week goes by that someone doesn't suddenly remember her and our marathon training bouts of old.
there are things i know, that are not 'public' knowledge. although a quick google search would pretty much tell you everything you wanted to know and more!!! out of some twisted form of loyalty i temper my responses to their queries so as not to let the 'cat out of the bag'. which is really quite amusing since it is quite obvious from the internet, that she is quite delighted with her new found infamy.
now there is always the suggestion that i somehow could not 'keep up' or that she was so much more of a 'hardcore trainer' than i was. i will accept that towards the end she was pushing way more weight around than i was. but, in my defence, we had different styles of training. wherein she subscribed to the 'by any means necessary' school i was and will always be 'form first'. i will not say that either way is right or wrong. i do know of people who have made excellent gains with what our sport calls the 'cheat' rep. and i do feel that i've made many a gain without the 'cheat' rep.
as far as training goes i have news. the good, the bad and the ugly. the good; i've got strength gains through the roof. i have almost tied or bested most of my last off season's personal best's. the good; i can honestly say that i see improvements in my calves and i am pretty sure my pecs as well. the good; i can still see my musculature even though i am off season.
the bad; i hurt myself on wednesday night doing push presses. although 75lbs is a fairly 'easy' lift for me 85lbs is clearly over my... well... head. :p i continued to train even though as the days progressed my range of motion decreased. until i could barely turn my head to the right or touch my chin to my chest. and even after getting treatment i was in no position to squat, so i didn't train at all today.
the ugly; i am well past my off season weight cap of 155lbs. it's wierd i'm eating 2100 calories and i'm still over 160lbs. but i don't look like i did last off season. in fact i went for a ride today and i easily fit into my leathers. last year putting them on meant passing on the luxury of breathing. now before you suggest that the excess weight is merely water and/or worry weight, allow me to add that my coach recently asked me what i weighed and what i was planning on 'going up to'. which suggests to me that he is starting to get concerned.
a friend saw me last weekend. and though she noted that i was holding weight in my mid-section, (which is usually where it goes), she didn't seem to think i was alarmingly off season. this is comforting, as she is not one to tell you what you want to hear.
hopefully this new work situation pans out and my finances stablize. and maybe then i can find out once and for all how much of this is water/worry weight.
finally, as i mentioned i went for a lovely brisk fall ride today. just my best girl (jade) and i. i am also pleased to announce that the odometer now reads 81882 kms. i put her away last season at 76995 kms. i am a mere 113 kms from a 5000 km season!!!
i better get my azz to bed... it will be 5:45 am before i know it.
oh yeah... lot's of footage up on youtube... i'd post links but i don't have the time. just go to youtube and do a search for michesk8r. happy viewing!!!
as you may remember my freelance gig suddenly got slow and i was spending more time at home than i was at work. eventually i made the decision to take on more hours at the gym to tide me over until worked picked up. murphy is alive and well btw, no sooner had i changed my gym schedule did the freelance gig call up and say they were busy. i decided not to undo the changes i made at the gym and as it turns out the freelance gig was a case of 'false' labour.
well the gym as much as it helped wasn't really cutting it and my clients were falling off again. so when i got a call from the agency about a lead on a full-time position downtown i quasi-leapt at the opportunity. i have a freelance position to try the place out, for a while before making my final decision.
i needed to get out of my tuesday gym shift, which the gym was able to oblige. while i was trying to organize my schedule, the previous freelance gig called and once again claimed to be busy and in need of my services. i can't remember if it was a 2 or 3 days work before once again things dried up.
the downtown freelance gig seems to be going well enough. the work is not difficult. it does, in it's favour, offer the opportunity to learn flash and dreamweaver. which could potentially lead to me getting into webdesign... which i might enjoy more than what i do now. the downside is that it is still very much downtown, it's corporate design so i have to dress 'up' and it will be a good 8 weeks until i start to see some money.
trust me when i tell you i do not currently have enough cash to wait 8 weeks to be paid. i'm working 8-4 pm downtown. the plan is to allow myself enough time to get to the gym monday's and tuesday's to work 6-9 pm. as well as to be at the gym early enough on thursdays to finish my workout before my 7:30 pm training appointment. i still have to train monday night's so i likely won't be in bed to till near 1 am tuesday.
last week was a combination of all three jobs and i'm sure you won't be suprised to learn that i spent most of the weekend completely exhausted.
i am also quite concerned about some nasty little business at the gym. frankly it has me thinking it might be time to start seeing what other gym's in the city have to offer. the upside at finding someplace new to train could mean that i might finally get rid of the albatross that continues to haunt me. the legacy of my old training partner. nary a week goes by that someone doesn't suddenly remember her and our marathon training bouts of old.
there are things i know, that are not 'public' knowledge. although a quick google search would pretty much tell you everything you wanted to know and more!!! out of some twisted form of loyalty i temper my responses to their queries so as not to let the 'cat out of the bag'. which is really quite amusing since it is quite obvious from the internet, that she is quite delighted with her new found infamy.
now there is always the suggestion that i somehow could not 'keep up' or that she was so much more of a 'hardcore trainer' than i was. i will accept that towards the end she was pushing way more weight around than i was. but, in my defence, we had different styles of training. wherein she subscribed to the 'by any means necessary' school i was and will always be 'form first'. i will not say that either way is right or wrong. i do know of people who have made excellent gains with what our sport calls the 'cheat' rep. and i do feel that i've made many a gain without the 'cheat' rep.
as far as training goes i have news. the good, the bad and the ugly. the good; i've got strength gains through the roof. i have almost tied or bested most of my last off season's personal best's. the good; i can honestly say that i see improvements in my calves and i am pretty sure my pecs as well. the good; i can still see my musculature even though i am off season.
the bad; i hurt myself on wednesday night doing push presses. although 75lbs is a fairly 'easy' lift for me 85lbs is clearly over my... well... head. :p i continued to train even though as the days progressed my range of motion decreased. until i could barely turn my head to the right or touch my chin to my chest. and even after getting treatment i was in no position to squat, so i didn't train at all today.
the ugly; i am well past my off season weight cap of 155lbs. it's wierd i'm eating 2100 calories and i'm still over 160lbs. but i don't look like i did last off season. in fact i went for a ride today and i easily fit into my leathers. last year putting them on meant passing on the luxury of breathing. now before you suggest that the excess weight is merely water and/or worry weight, allow me to add that my coach recently asked me what i weighed and what i was planning on 'going up to'. which suggests to me that he is starting to get concerned.
a friend saw me last weekend. and though she noted that i was holding weight in my mid-section, (which is usually where it goes), she didn't seem to think i was alarmingly off season. this is comforting, as she is not one to tell you what you want to hear.
hopefully this new work situation pans out and my finances stablize. and maybe then i can find out once and for all how much of this is water/worry weight.
finally, as i mentioned i went for a lovely brisk fall ride today. just my best girl (jade) and i. i am also pleased to announce that the odometer now reads 81882 kms. i put her away last season at 76995 kms. i am a mere 113 kms from a 5000 km season!!!
i better get my azz to bed... it will be 5:45 am before i know it.
oh yeah... lot's of footage up on youtube... i'd post links but i don't have the time. just go to youtube and do a search for michesk8r. happy viewing!!!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
thanks for that... not!
i hate that sh!t, i really do.
i don't think i ever told this story before. first, i am loyal, just in case you don't already know that about me. second, my coach has gone above and beyond on my behalf countless times in near 8 years. to the point where i know i will never be able to repay the debt, (fyi, my coach insists there is no debt).
years back, i honestly don't remember how many, i used to have a friend. i say used to because she put me in the unfortunate postion of having to choose between her and my boss... i chose my boss. at the time i worked at the gym full-time. i was also broke as fawk and in no position to be unemployed in any capacity.
my 'friend' found out that she could save a couple of bucks at the tanning salon if she got me to buy her sh!t. i hated myself for it, but i did it. after which i was racked with guilt and i seriously considered going to my boss with the $5 or $10 saving and 'fess up. i spoke to a few other friends who talked me out of it. they reminded me that as an employee i was entitled to the staff discount. they felt as long as i didn't do it again i could and should put the incident behind me.
fast forward a few months, her out of town boyfriend is due to arrive. she asks me about getting him a free trial membership. i tell her that he doesn't qualify as he is not a resident of the greater toronto area, and is not likely to purchase a membership after his free trial. i told her she could purchase a $35 week pass or $10/day single visits. she simply smiled and told me that she would give her mailing address to whomever was working when he signed up.
i was on the gym floor training the day she brought him in. the guy working balked because the out of country address on the drivers license did not match the mailing address given. the guy working went to ask my boss what he should do. my boss recognized my friend and had heard me speak in the past of her out of town boyfriend. while they were speaking another staff member stupidly approved the transaction. likely because my 'friend' dropped my name.
guess what happened? i got to endure a series of lectures from my boss on how i was responsible for how my friends conduct themselves in the gym. twice during that workout he stopped me to talk about it. once when i was speaking with one of my clients. the next morning as i was training a client, he pulled me aside and lectured me further.
how did i handle it? i was enraged. while they two of them were still training on the gym floor i left her a voicemail message. i told her that i got in sh!t due to her shenanigans and that i could no longer afford to have her as a friend. thereby ending the friendship. i did get a couple of teary voicemails that i never returned. mostly because every fawkin' time i was in the gym i received yet another lecture.
there are many who have since told me that i reacted badly, that i should have talked to her. however, i am comfortable with my decision. i don't need friends who are willing to gamble with my ability to support myself all for a $10 savings!!!
so what brought this up?
i missed a call from a friend, while i was training today. i texted back that i was in the middle of training but that i would call him back during my shift. well my friend shows up during my shift and he has someone with him, who he hoped i would let in for free. i let him in only after he handed over the $10 day rate. i seriously hate being put in that position. i know i did the right thing...
so why do i still feel so guilty?
i don't think i ever told this story before. first, i am loyal, just in case you don't already know that about me. second, my coach has gone above and beyond on my behalf countless times in near 8 years. to the point where i know i will never be able to repay the debt, (fyi, my coach insists there is no debt).
years back, i honestly don't remember how many, i used to have a friend. i say used to because she put me in the unfortunate postion of having to choose between her and my boss... i chose my boss. at the time i worked at the gym full-time. i was also broke as fawk and in no position to be unemployed in any capacity.
my 'friend' found out that she could save a couple of bucks at the tanning salon if she got me to buy her sh!t. i hated myself for it, but i did it. after which i was racked with guilt and i seriously considered going to my boss with the $5 or $10 saving and 'fess up. i spoke to a few other friends who talked me out of it. they reminded me that as an employee i was entitled to the staff discount. they felt as long as i didn't do it again i could and should put the incident behind me.
fast forward a few months, her out of town boyfriend is due to arrive. she asks me about getting him a free trial membership. i tell her that he doesn't qualify as he is not a resident of the greater toronto area, and is not likely to purchase a membership after his free trial. i told her she could purchase a $35 week pass or $10/day single visits. she simply smiled and told me that she would give her mailing address to whomever was working when he signed up.
i was on the gym floor training the day she brought him in. the guy working balked because the out of country address on the drivers license did not match the mailing address given. the guy working went to ask my boss what he should do. my boss recognized my friend and had heard me speak in the past of her out of town boyfriend. while they were speaking another staff member stupidly approved the transaction. likely because my 'friend' dropped my name.
guess what happened? i got to endure a series of lectures from my boss on how i was responsible for how my friends conduct themselves in the gym. twice during that workout he stopped me to talk about it. once when i was speaking with one of my clients. the next morning as i was training a client, he pulled me aside and lectured me further.
how did i handle it? i was enraged. while they two of them were still training on the gym floor i left her a voicemail message. i told her that i got in sh!t due to her shenanigans and that i could no longer afford to have her as a friend. thereby ending the friendship. i did get a couple of teary voicemails that i never returned. mostly because every fawkin' time i was in the gym i received yet another lecture.
there are many who have since told me that i reacted badly, that i should have talked to her. however, i am comfortable with my decision. i don't need friends who are willing to gamble with my ability to support myself all for a $10 savings!!!
so what brought this up?
i missed a call from a friend, while i was training today. i texted back that i was in the middle of training but that i would call him back during my shift. well my friend shows up during my shift and he has someone with him, who he hoped i would let in for free. i let him in only after he handed over the $10 day rate. i seriously hate being put in that position. i know i did the right thing...
so why do i still feel so guilty?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
holiday monday
today i talked someone out of competiting. you might be wondering why? you might even wonder where i get off. i'll tell you.
plenty of competitive athlete's have developed eating disorders. it's really not that hard to imagine, we routinely bounce between two conditions; one with a healthy level of bodyfat and the other, the extreme look of stage. somehow on the road to depletion we start to equate the stage look with being 'in shape' and the offseason look as 'fat'.
well guess what? you can't, nor should you, try to sustain your stage look. it's just not healthy. you are literally starving yourself... pushing your body to do more and more work while giving it less and less food. and then one day it's over and it's time to start eating properly. i tell you it is indeed a strange feeling to wake up looking healthy all the while feeling like a fat pig!
still what's the big deal with letting someone try to compete? well with all the stress, the damage that we do to our bodies in the quest for the perfect physique and for microscopic levels of bodyfat... you really have to be sure your in it for the right reasons.
i sat down for a bite a few weeks back with a friend who did a show. she started prepping to see what it was like, to see if she could. many times during the journey, when she realized it was the hardest thing she ever tried to do, she seriously considered quitting. except in doing so, she felt she would let her boyfriend down and so she saw it through... all the way to the bitter end. after the show, she couldn't handle the weight gain. she ate the food she craved... but couldn't stomach being out of stage shape. and thus she found herself in the wonderful world of bulimia.
so what does what happened to one competitor have to do with another? maybe everything, maybe nothing but i do know that this 'competitor' is looking for a goal. a way to help him stay motivated to diet. yes folks, that dayumm show prep diet again. how do i convince people that this lifestyle is so not the recipe for success people expect it to be?
what did i tell him? i told him, by all means train like a bber. run a cutting diet once a year to see what you look like. but do not prep and compete unless you really and truly want the competitive bb lifestyle. there is NOTHING healthy about show prep. when you sit down and consider all the cons... you really start to wonder why people bother; suits, food, supplementation, tanning, diet coaches, training coaches, posing coaches, entry fees, membership fees, gym memberships, hotel and travel expenses, the all out frontal assault on your metabolism, the onseason and offseason wardrobes, photoshoot wardrobes, etc... all for a $10 trophy. but for those of us who live and breathe the challenge, who truly appreciate the beauty of the sport... it truly is worth it.
but it still isn't for everyone.
plenty of competitive athlete's have developed eating disorders. it's really not that hard to imagine, we routinely bounce between two conditions; one with a healthy level of bodyfat and the other, the extreme look of stage. somehow on the road to depletion we start to equate the stage look with being 'in shape' and the offseason look as 'fat'.
well guess what? you can't, nor should you, try to sustain your stage look. it's just not healthy. you are literally starving yourself... pushing your body to do more and more work while giving it less and less food. and then one day it's over and it's time to start eating properly. i tell you it is indeed a strange feeling to wake up looking healthy all the while feeling like a fat pig!
still what's the big deal with letting someone try to compete? well with all the stress, the damage that we do to our bodies in the quest for the perfect physique and for microscopic levels of bodyfat... you really have to be sure your in it for the right reasons.
i sat down for a bite a few weeks back with a friend who did a show. she started prepping to see what it was like, to see if she could. many times during the journey, when she realized it was the hardest thing she ever tried to do, she seriously considered quitting. except in doing so, she felt she would let her boyfriend down and so she saw it through... all the way to the bitter end. after the show, she couldn't handle the weight gain. she ate the food she craved... but couldn't stomach being out of stage shape. and thus she found herself in the wonderful world of bulimia.
so what does what happened to one competitor have to do with another? maybe everything, maybe nothing but i do know that this 'competitor' is looking for a goal. a way to help him stay motivated to diet. yes folks, that dayumm show prep diet again. how do i convince people that this lifestyle is so not the recipe for success people expect it to be?
what did i tell him? i told him, by all means train like a bber. run a cutting diet once a year to see what you look like. but do not prep and compete unless you really and truly want the competitive bb lifestyle. there is NOTHING healthy about show prep. when you sit down and consider all the cons... you really start to wonder why people bother; suits, food, supplementation, tanning, diet coaches, training coaches, posing coaches, entry fees, membership fees, gym memberships, hotel and travel expenses, the all out frontal assault on your metabolism, the onseason and offseason wardrobes, photoshoot wardrobes, etc... all for a $10 trophy. but for those of us who live and breathe the challenge, who truly appreciate the beauty of the sport... it truly is worth it.
but it still isn't for everyone.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
random thoughts
first thing i want to mention is something i noticed yesterday while en route to the gym. someone was driving a stretched hummer. now on a good day i find a hummer to be an unattractive vehicle. however when you stretch it 15 or 20 feet long you really only end up with a rolling block of ugly!!!
i found a female member on a bench in the locker room today. she appeared to have a compress on her head. i was quite relieved to discover that she was fine and merely resting. earlier in the week i had the misfortune of being the first employee to happen upon some 3D art that some random member had created all over the handicapped stall... and i do mean all over. such a bold and vibrant use of green bean and bile... a true artist. a leg workout had proved to be too much and she projectile puked everywhere. you can tell she tried, in vain, to clean it up as evidenced by the wads of puke soaked toilet paper that was clogging the bowl. so guess what i did for cardio that day? 45 minutes of mopping and plunging... yippee!! of course the question remains why didn't she report it?
i have some good news for you. i've had a design project. i've been working on a logo design for the photographer who did my last photo shoot. well i'm happy to report we have a winner. it's not the design treatment that i like, which is frequently the way in this business. anyway that means the next project on the agenda is the website. where said photo's will finally be up on display.
originally i could come up with no valid reason for having a website. i mean i am by no means a lenda murray and frankly i have a hard time imagining what i would even do with one... or who would even look at it. sometimes i actually wonder who is even reading this blog, ya know? recently a television commercial audition came my way. as it happened i was unable to make the audtion, but i realize now that i could have supplied my url to the casting director. don't get me wrong i don't expected that it would have changed the outcome in any way... but all im saying is, i can finally see a use.
the interesting part will be getting used to the muscle fans. not so much as fans of the sport, so much as fans of women of muscle. those usually referred to as schmoes. i am a simple girl with simple tastes and a personal code not too far removed from half-pint on the little house on the prairie. a lot of things freak me out. like the marriage proposals i get on myspace from guys, thankfully... i am not really ready to be fielding proposals from women... but i digress. there haven't been all that many proposals but i have had a few. usually my intended does not yet speak or write a whole lot of english. i'm sure it goes without mention that i'm not quite interested in communicating in the international language of love.
on the work front things have been a tad spooky for a bit. for the last little while i have been at home waiting to be called back into work. eventually i hit my breaking point and i went into the gym and picked up more staff hours. of course the very next day work called me back in. however, it is still pretty spotty so i am not making any changes to my gym schedule until things get back to normal.
im off to bed. tomorrow is officially thanksgiving and i've got clients to train and a 5 hour shift at the gym. it is also a training day... as is most mondays. looking forward to that.
g'nite.
i found a female member on a bench in the locker room today. she appeared to have a compress on her head. i was quite relieved to discover that she was fine and merely resting. earlier in the week i had the misfortune of being the first employee to happen upon some 3D art that some random member had created all over the handicapped stall... and i do mean all over. such a bold and vibrant use of green bean and bile... a true artist. a leg workout had proved to be too much and she projectile puked everywhere. you can tell she tried, in vain, to clean it up as evidenced by the wads of puke soaked toilet paper that was clogging the bowl. so guess what i did for cardio that day? 45 minutes of mopping and plunging... yippee!! of course the question remains why didn't she report it?
i have some good news for you. i've had a design project. i've been working on a logo design for the photographer who did my last photo shoot. well i'm happy to report we have a winner. it's not the design treatment that i like, which is frequently the way in this business. anyway that means the next project on the agenda is the website. where said photo's will finally be up on display.
originally i could come up with no valid reason for having a website. i mean i am by no means a lenda murray and frankly i have a hard time imagining what i would even do with one... or who would even look at it. sometimes i actually wonder who is even reading this blog, ya know? recently a television commercial audition came my way. as it happened i was unable to make the audtion, but i realize now that i could have supplied my url to the casting director. don't get me wrong i don't expected that it would have changed the outcome in any way... but all im saying is, i can finally see a use.
the interesting part will be getting used to the muscle fans. not so much as fans of the sport, so much as fans of women of muscle. those usually referred to as schmoes. i am a simple girl with simple tastes and a personal code not too far removed from half-pint on the little house on the prairie. a lot of things freak me out. like the marriage proposals i get on myspace from guys, thankfully... i am not really ready to be fielding proposals from women... but i digress. there haven't been all that many proposals but i have had a few. usually my intended does not yet speak or write a whole lot of english. i'm sure it goes without mention that i'm not quite interested in communicating in the international language of love.
on the work front things have been a tad spooky for a bit. for the last little while i have been at home waiting to be called back into work. eventually i hit my breaking point and i went into the gym and picked up more staff hours. of course the very next day work called me back in. however, it is still pretty spotty so i am not making any changes to my gym schedule until things get back to normal.
im off to bed. tomorrow is officially thanksgiving and i've got clients to train and a 5 hour shift at the gym. it is also a training day... as is most mondays. looking forward to that.
g'nite.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
i've had it... part 2
i guess i have a different idea of what constitutes a pro level physique. i can respect the level of determination and dedication that goes into, piling as much mass as possible onto a body with seemingly little or no regard for asthetics. but that's not what i like. male or female i don't want to see the mass monster. i want to see the classic lines, the tiny waists, the broad shoulders, the TRUE x-frame. but sadly that physique is almost never rewarded at the pro level.
there are a lot of women who better represent the sport in my humble opinion. however, they are losing interest in the competitive aspect of the sport... the sport as it stands now. and i, for one can't blame them. so the physiques that i like are either at the bottomof the pack, not stepping on stage or quitting the sport all together.
i still love the sport. i still desire to find out exactly how far i can take my physique, my way. i still desire to find out exactly how strong i can get, my way. how far i can go, my way. but i'm not going to watch either olympia.
i can't wait to go to ohio in 2008. oh i will to to the men's show. and i will even admit to missing the routines at the fitness internationa but i'm pretty sure i won't be sitting through the figure international or the ms. international to see it. i am looking forward to seeing my firends. i'm looking forward to wandering around the expo, the opportunity to meet new friends and to see some of my favourites in the sport.
i will continue to support the sport at the amateur level. i will hope against hope that somewhere out there, there is an fbb who will save my sport.
but i won't hold my breath!!!
there are a lot of women who better represent the sport in my humble opinion. however, they are losing interest in the competitive aspect of the sport... the sport as it stands now. and i, for one can't blame them. so the physiques that i like are either at the bottomof the pack, not stepping on stage or quitting the sport all together.
i still love the sport. i still desire to find out exactly how far i can take my physique, my way. i still desire to find out exactly how strong i can get, my way. how far i can go, my way. but i'm not going to watch either olympia.
i can't wait to go to ohio in 2008. oh i will to to the men's show. and i will even admit to missing the routines at the fitness internationa but i'm pretty sure i won't be sitting through the figure international or the ms. international to see it. i am looking forward to seeing my firends. i'm looking forward to wandering around the expo, the opportunity to meet new friends and to see some of my favourites in the sport.
i will continue to support the sport at the amateur level. i will hope against hope that somewhere out there, there is an fbb who will save my sport.
but i won't hold my breath!!!
that's it... i've had it!!!!!
as of this moment there is only one professional level bodybuilding show for me. it occurs in ohio in late february, early march.
ya know, my coach took me to my first bodybuilding show many years ago. it wasn't long before i became a fan of the sport of bodybuilding. specifically men's bodybuilding... much to the chagrin of my fbb friends. call me crazy but i will always prefer to watch melvin anthony, victor martinez, dexter jackson and the like in there underwear over the women.
however as i began to show interest in competitive bodybuilding i started to pay more attention to what was happening in the pro level of fbb. interestingly enough i was never a fan of the 'popular' physiques. the one's that go my fbb friends excited, the one's they thought were the best were usually the one's with the lines i least appreciated or they had a look that i had no interest in emulating.
don't get me wrong i do know there is a limit to what i can accomplish with respect to an ifbb pro level physique. i think i have a good genetic package... you can be a good bodybuilder with a good genetic package. to be an ifbb pro you need a great genetic package... and let's face it, you need to do things that i frankly have no interest in doing.
well this past weekend was the olympia and i have to notice a few interesting changes. there was times in the past when the telecast was available and my behind was parked in front of the tv. i was afraid to go to the bathroom for fear of missing something.
more to come... got to run
ya know, my coach took me to my first bodybuilding show many years ago. it wasn't long before i became a fan of the sport of bodybuilding. specifically men's bodybuilding... much to the chagrin of my fbb friends. call me crazy but i will always prefer to watch melvin anthony, victor martinez, dexter jackson and the like in there underwear over the women.
however as i began to show interest in competitive bodybuilding i started to pay more attention to what was happening in the pro level of fbb. interestingly enough i was never a fan of the 'popular' physiques. the one's that go my fbb friends excited, the one's they thought were the best were usually the one's with the lines i least appreciated or they had a look that i had no interest in emulating.
don't get me wrong i do know there is a limit to what i can accomplish with respect to an ifbb pro level physique. i think i have a good genetic package... you can be a good bodybuilder with a good genetic package. to be an ifbb pro you need a great genetic package... and let's face it, you need to do things that i frankly have no interest in doing.
well this past weekend was the olympia and i have to notice a few interesting changes. there was times in the past when the telecast was available and my behind was parked in front of the tv. i was afraid to go to the bathroom for fear of missing something.
more to come... got to run
Thursday, September 27, 2007
plan b?
well things aren't working out quite the way i would like. in the last 3 to 4 weeks things have been seriously slow for me. i've been at home more days per week than i've been at work. for the most part its one to two days of work max., per week. and sadly still, often they aren't even full days.
i am still doing my shifts at the gym and training a few more clients than before so that is helping a bit. but the long and the short of it is, things cannot continue this way indefinately.
the stress is playing havoc on me. and i think we all know what happens when our bodies are under stress for too long. i am currently doing a 2100 calorie diet and i am currently at 160 lbs. 2100 calories is not alot for a fbb, in fact its kind of low. 2300 calories should be my offseason cap. the fact that i'm eating 2100 cals and that i've stopped with the cheats and still at 160 lbs confirms that my stress levels are playing havoc with the scale.
so how do i fix this? what is my new plan? well i think it is time to purchase some steel toe boots and get myself registered at a local temp agency. thus on days when i have no work i can go over to the temp agency and get myself in a warehouse for the day. it won't be great money likely but at this point i need money period. at this point i am seriously concerned with my ability to get back to ohio next year and i also fear my show prep will be in jeopardy.
i'm going in to the gym to meet with my coach/boss to sit down and talk things over with him. maybe he has a better idea? maybe he has some contacts i could use.
there are some who would suggest that i get some of my own design clients and try to freelance on my own, from my home system. well at this point it is either the stress that i feel that i am under or i have lost it. i have been trying to develop a logo for someone and the reality is, i can't seem to come up with anything good. nothing i like... nothing that feels good enough. of course the fact that i know he is asking for feedback online is not helping either. it reminds me a bit of school where we had to get our work critiqued in front of the class by the professor and some of the other students.
i've been logging some serious km's on the bike this summer. i still do the balance of my riding these days with ninja girl. speed racer has either been busy with work or she hasn't been well enough to ride as much as we did together last year. i did recently go on a long ride with speed racer and the chic riders. it was pretty cool at one point there were 11 women all riding sport bikes in the group!!!
well i think its time to get back to bed. i've been sleeping alot the past few days. i'm either coming down with something, fighting something or this is also tied somehow to the stress i am under. i do know yesterday my body temperature kept soaring so i could be just sick. i haven't missed a training day and i really haven't noticed any ill effects on the gym floor so it's really hard to tell. anyway i thought i would leave you with a few pics. a couple from the group ride to london. and a couple shot the day after, ninja girl and i decided to stop and pose with our bikes on our way back from the twisties.
i am still doing my shifts at the gym and training a few more clients than before so that is helping a bit. but the long and the short of it is, things cannot continue this way indefinately.
the stress is playing havoc on me. and i think we all know what happens when our bodies are under stress for too long. i am currently doing a 2100 calorie diet and i am currently at 160 lbs. 2100 calories is not alot for a fbb, in fact its kind of low. 2300 calories should be my offseason cap. the fact that i'm eating 2100 cals and that i've stopped with the cheats and still at 160 lbs confirms that my stress levels are playing havoc with the scale.
so how do i fix this? what is my new plan? well i think it is time to purchase some steel toe boots and get myself registered at a local temp agency. thus on days when i have no work i can go over to the temp agency and get myself in a warehouse for the day. it won't be great money likely but at this point i need money period. at this point i am seriously concerned with my ability to get back to ohio next year and i also fear my show prep will be in jeopardy.
i'm going in to the gym to meet with my coach/boss to sit down and talk things over with him. maybe he has a better idea? maybe he has some contacts i could use.
there are some who would suggest that i get some of my own design clients and try to freelance on my own, from my home system. well at this point it is either the stress that i feel that i am under or i have lost it. i have been trying to develop a logo for someone and the reality is, i can't seem to come up with anything good. nothing i like... nothing that feels good enough. of course the fact that i know he is asking for feedback online is not helping either. it reminds me a bit of school where we had to get our work critiqued in front of the class by the professor and some of the other students.
i've been logging some serious km's on the bike this summer. i still do the balance of my riding these days with ninja girl. speed racer has either been busy with work or she hasn't been well enough to ride as much as we did together last year. i did recently go on a long ride with speed racer and the chic riders. it was pretty cool at one point there were 11 women all riding sport bikes in the group!!!
well i think its time to get back to bed. i've been sleeping alot the past few days. i'm either coming down with something, fighting something or this is also tied somehow to the stress i am under. i do know yesterday my body temperature kept soaring so i could be just sick. i haven't missed a training day and i really haven't noticed any ill effects on the gym floor so it's really hard to tell. anyway i thought i would leave you with a few pics. a couple from the group ride to london. and a couple shot the day after, ninja girl and i decided to stop and pose with our bikes on our way back from the twisties.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
falling behind again
so i was online this morning making my weekly check of all the online blogs i read. and of course i accidently bounced onto mine. oops my last post was august 13th.... holy crap where did the time go?
so let me catch you up on the good, the bad and the ugly.
the ugly:
i've not mentioned this in here before but my mother is not well. i dont mean as in crazy, but rather she is going through some sort of mystery health issue. first of all i have zero faith in my mother's doctor. i think he is inclined to merely toss pills at my mother without trying to get to the root of the problem. i also think he is too inclined to dismiss her medical complaints as products of her age and some of the meds that he himself has prescribed for her. yes, i will admit my mother is no spring chicken. however my mother has never been as visibly aged as she has been in the few weeks with this thing. she gets these debilitating pains in her leg that makes it painful to stand, or walk. subsequently her lower leg swells up.
well her doctor doesn't seem to inspired to investigate this properly and i have to watch my mother limp painfully around the house when she can move that much. wtf??!!! so i took my mother to a walk-in clinic a few weeks back to get her seen to by a doctor that george recommended. he immediately ordered a couple of ultrasounds. he is checking to ensure this is not circulatory. we've had one test done so far. i took time off work to take her in myself, but that first test looked pretty normal and we are currently waiting for the next one. in the interim i get to watch my mother turn into my grandmother... this does not make me happy.
the good:
my strength gains are almost back to where they were pre-show prep. and when you factor in that i am doing this stuff while basically still under a restricted diet... well that just goes to show you that my offseason pr's this year are likely to be through the proverbial roof. i am looking forward to that.
my happier state of mind has returned. i spent a lot of time talking to other women in the bb community and they really helped me understand that whole public perception issue. as near as i can tell since it was my first 'negative' experience it hit me hard, now that ive been throught it... i can only imagine that i will handle it better in the future. who am i kidding i have already started. a couple posts ago i told you about my friends 'charming' boyfriend. well i found out yesterday that he told her recently 'look at miche... you guys diet and get all skinny and then you turn around and get all fat again'. fat... me??? pfft. for the life of me i don't know why she bothers with that guy. he seriously has issues and none of this can possibly be good for her psyche in the long run.
okay i am at work, and i was trying to fill some down time... but they have given me some work to do. so i will leave you with some training videos. i hope to be back to regular posting soonish :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJR11Ipgz8I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9buO0jvNxE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1IfLIPkn1k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_FsNYhxiCc
so let me catch you up on the good, the bad and the ugly.
the ugly:
i've not mentioned this in here before but my mother is not well. i dont mean as in crazy, but rather she is going through some sort of mystery health issue. first of all i have zero faith in my mother's doctor. i think he is inclined to merely toss pills at my mother without trying to get to the root of the problem. i also think he is too inclined to dismiss her medical complaints as products of her age and some of the meds that he himself has prescribed for her. yes, i will admit my mother is no spring chicken. however my mother has never been as visibly aged as she has been in the few weeks with this thing. she gets these debilitating pains in her leg that makes it painful to stand, or walk. subsequently her lower leg swells up.
well her doctor doesn't seem to inspired to investigate this properly and i have to watch my mother limp painfully around the house when she can move that much. wtf??!!! so i took my mother to a walk-in clinic a few weeks back to get her seen to by a doctor that george recommended. he immediately ordered a couple of ultrasounds. he is checking to ensure this is not circulatory. we've had one test done so far. i took time off work to take her in myself, but that first test looked pretty normal and we are currently waiting for the next one. in the interim i get to watch my mother turn into my grandmother... this does not make me happy.
the good:
my strength gains are almost back to where they were pre-show prep. and when you factor in that i am doing this stuff while basically still under a restricted diet... well that just goes to show you that my offseason pr's this year are likely to be through the proverbial roof. i am looking forward to that.
my happier state of mind has returned. i spent a lot of time talking to other women in the bb community and they really helped me understand that whole public perception issue. as near as i can tell since it was my first 'negative' experience it hit me hard, now that ive been throught it... i can only imagine that i will handle it better in the future. who am i kidding i have already started. a couple posts ago i told you about my friends 'charming' boyfriend. well i found out yesterday that he told her recently 'look at miche... you guys diet and get all skinny and then you turn around and get all fat again'. fat... me??? pfft. for the life of me i don't know why she bothers with that guy. he seriously has issues and none of this can possibly be good for her psyche in the long run.
okay i am at work, and i was trying to fill some down time... but they have given me some work to do. so i will leave you with some training videos. i hope to be back to regular posting soonish :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJR11Ipgz8I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9buO0jvNxE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1IfLIPkn1k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_FsNYhxiCc
Monday, August 13, 2007
indigo, azure, cobalt and cerulean...
i had a blast at the chic rider's event. as soon as i got there a woman (ninja girl), who recognized me from the facebook guest list, came over and introduced herself to me. she then took me over to hang with her and her group of friends.
it was a full day, a bike wash, a stunt show, a show and shine (since i left early i have no idea what the hell that is), and an after party. there were a mad lot of bikes there... and some of the sharpest looking customs i have ever seen. there was even a bike that was painted like a lucky strike cigarette carton.
the stunt show that ensued was off the chain. i've never seen so many wheelies and stoppie variations in my life. there was even a woman doing wheelies and stoppies on a lil' 50cc bike. a couple of the stunts went terribly, horribly wrong but with the exception of some cosmetic and pride damage... it was all in good fun.
there were camera's all over the place and i'm amazed at how many times i turned up in the event pics posted all over the boards. there is even a shot of me talking to speed racer and she only showed up for about 15-20 minutes.
i went back to the event later that night, not to attend the after party, but to go for a ride with ninja girl, and her friends. well she met me at mangoz and then proceeded to take me on a brisk ride to oakville. ninja girl rides a 600RR and let me tell you i was using every last one of my 500cc's to try and keep up with her. the funny thing was as soon as we got to tim horton's we found out that her friends were all heading back to mangoz. since we had just ordered coffee, we decided to hang out with the other bikers that were still there.
i think i spent a good couple hours in that parking lot and i had a good time. they were finally getting organized for a group ride to hamilton. it was almost 11 pm and i was starting to fade so i bid them all a good night. i promised to join them again, and i lit out for home. i can already feel that my riding style has changed. i feel more at one with the bike. more like i am really starting to ride her properly and smoothly. but the bike still does not go faster than 120 km/hour.
on sunday i was still in an amazing mood. i was still quite 'high' from saturday's events. i stupidly started to tell my mom about it. i was smart enough to leave out the details of the bike stunts. and of course mother had to go and ruin everything. right in the middle of my story she interrupts to ask, ...and you are telling me out of all the bikers that were there you didn't see any possibilites???. what a way to toss a cold bucket of sh!t onto my rainbow. i struggled to hold my temper. i let out an oh fer christ's sake and i walked out of the kitchen. i went into my room and closed the door.
i went to the movies with julie later that afternoon. i don't normally notice the way people react to me, but lately i guess i've become more aware. i was text messaging some friends while i waited for julie to show up. from time to time i would look up to find some stranger staring at me, with a look that i can only describe as disdain. i can't say that felt great... but there isn't much i am willing to do about it.
after the movie was over julie and i made the traditional post movie 'potty' run. while we were at the electric hand dryers, i suddenly became aware of someone behind me. i looked back and there were two women staring past me at the hand dryer in front of me. i moved to my right, thereby allowing another person to share the air. julie however didn't move and neither did the two women behind me. they just continued to stare through me with the strangest look on their faces. i instantly felt eighteen different kinds of uncomfortable and i walked out of the bathroom with wet hands. julie came out behind me, she however found the whole exchange amusing so she was laughing.
all of this has got me thinking... and thinking alot. i remember that b used to wear these stupid little glasses when he had to go out or attend meetings. his vision is fine, but he feels that as a big, muscular, bald, black man he is visually imposing. he feels that the little wire rimmed glasses, soften him out a little and make him appear more approachable. i've spent the better part of my life wearing glasses, it was a happy day when i finally got contacts... as much as it appears that i am starting to be somewhat visually imposing, i really can't see me sportin glasses. and dayumm it... why should i have to?
i get that bodybuilding isn't for everyone. i understand that you don't have to like it. but if i can keep from staring with disgust at the roll of fat you've got oozing out between your cropped top and those low rider jeans that you insist on wearing... then surely you can keep from staring at my arms with disgust??
i tell you people... my ego needs a break.
it was a full day, a bike wash, a stunt show, a show and shine (since i left early i have no idea what the hell that is), and an after party. there were a mad lot of bikes there... and some of the sharpest looking customs i have ever seen. there was even a bike that was painted like a lucky strike cigarette carton.
the stunt show that ensued was off the chain. i've never seen so many wheelies and stoppie variations in my life. there was even a woman doing wheelies and stoppies on a lil' 50cc bike. a couple of the stunts went terribly, horribly wrong but with the exception of some cosmetic and pride damage... it was all in good fun.
there were camera's all over the place and i'm amazed at how many times i turned up in the event pics posted all over the boards. there is even a shot of me talking to speed racer and she only showed up for about 15-20 minutes.
i went back to the event later that night, not to attend the after party, but to go for a ride with ninja girl, and her friends. well she met me at mangoz and then proceeded to take me on a brisk ride to oakville. ninja girl rides a 600RR and let me tell you i was using every last one of my 500cc's to try and keep up with her. the funny thing was as soon as we got to tim horton's we found out that her friends were all heading back to mangoz. since we had just ordered coffee, we decided to hang out with the other bikers that were still there.
i think i spent a good couple hours in that parking lot and i had a good time. they were finally getting organized for a group ride to hamilton. it was almost 11 pm and i was starting to fade so i bid them all a good night. i promised to join them again, and i lit out for home. i can already feel that my riding style has changed. i feel more at one with the bike. more like i am really starting to ride her properly and smoothly. but the bike still does not go faster than 120 km/hour.
on sunday i was still in an amazing mood. i was still quite 'high' from saturday's events. i stupidly started to tell my mom about it. i was smart enough to leave out the details of the bike stunts. and of course mother had to go and ruin everything. right in the middle of my story she interrupts to ask, ...and you are telling me out of all the bikers that were there you didn't see any possibilites???. what a way to toss a cold bucket of sh!t onto my rainbow. i struggled to hold my temper. i let out an oh fer christ's sake and i walked out of the kitchen. i went into my room and closed the door.
i went to the movies with julie later that afternoon. i don't normally notice the way people react to me, but lately i guess i've become more aware. i was text messaging some friends while i waited for julie to show up. from time to time i would look up to find some stranger staring at me, with a look that i can only describe as disdain. i can't say that felt great... but there isn't much i am willing to do about it.
after the movie was over julie and i made the traditional post movie 'potty' run. while we were at the electric hand dryers, i suddenly became aware of someone behind me. i looked back and there were two women staring past me at the hand dryer in front of me. i moved to my right, thereby allowing another person to share the air. julie however didn't move and neither did the two women behind me. they just continued to stare through me with the strangest look on their faces. i instantly felt eighteen different kinds of uncomfortable and i walked out of the bathroom with wet hands. julie came out behind me, she however found the whole exchange amusing so she was laughing.
all of this has got me thinking... and thinking alot. i remember that b used to wear these stupid little glasses when he had to go out or attend meetings. his vision is fine, but he feels that as a big, muscular, bald, black man he is visually imposing. he feels that the little wire rimmed glasses, soften him out a little and make him appear more approachable. i've spent the better part of my life wearing glasses, it was a happy day when i finally got contacts... as much as it appears that i am starting to be somewhat visually imposing, i really can't see me sportin glasses. and dayumm it... why should i have to?
i get that bodybuilding isn't for everyone. i understand that you don't have to like it. but if i can keep from staring with disgust at the roll of fat you've got oozing out between your cropped top and those low rider jeans that you insist on wearing... then surely you can keep from staring at my arms with disgust??
i tell you people... my ego needs a break.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
trophies come in all shapes and sizes
that last blog entry still disturbs me. i know women who are basically 'trophy chicks'. now maybe to an extent every woman is a trophy but dayummm some of these guys are just too obvious about it.
there is this little charmer who does not like his girl's offseason look. now don't get me wrong, some of us really like to add on the post show mass. i know last year i was one of those them, waddling around, stuffed into my clothes looking very much like a human coil of sausage. but i am not talking about that kind of offseason mass. this woman still looks in shape and many women still envy her condition. but buddy demands to know when she is going to look like she does in her show pics, so he can show her off.
then there is another who has convinced himself that he is merely trying to make his woman more comfortable with her body. he buys her dresses, tighter gym clothes and bikini's. but is he really trying to bring an introvert out of her shell? or is his real motivation the opportunity to be seen in the company of a chick sporting a hot little number?
my mother's main source of irritation is the lack of a man in my life. frequently she likes to initiate these little heart to heart talks, where she tries to understand exactly what it is, that i am doing wrong, that is keeping me from having someone. mother does not understand this line of conversation makes me feel like sh!t and i have no interest in discussing it. she doesn't understand that we all don't get someone. you would expect her to be more tolerant her mother, her aunt and her husband's baby sister have all lived their lives... alone. clearly the old maid gene has been passed on to me.
finally, especially now as i attempt to add more and more muscle to my frame... i know the chances of me ever finding anyone get slimmer and slimmer. there is a minute percentage of men who like women with muscle... and the percentage of men who like women with muscle, who have muscles themselves is even smaller. you subtract the men already in relationships and you've got little left to choose from. guess i won't be coming to a mantle near you any time soon.
the strength is starting to return in the gym, which is nice. i've already finished my two weeks of below maintenance eating. my weight has fluctuated wildly throughout these past two weeks. i can only imagine that my 32 months of dieting has my metabolism still in a bit of a tail spin. i am going to run another week of below maintenace eating... i think that my weight should be holding steady before i switch to the above maintenance. remember my friends the goal this time is NOT to repeat the mistakes of last offseason.
the photoshoot pics have arrived. i am still trying to sort out my feelings on them. that sounds bad... it could be because it is a very different look for me, it could be because i have never been 'good' at looking at myself objectively, or it could be... that it is simply too much. but it is nice to see that i really did improve my hamstrings this year.
the last thing i wanted to share is my plans for today. i recently found a women's only motorcycle club. first of all this club has chapters in canada, australia and the u.s. they 'ride' to raise money and awareness for women's issues; breast cancer, rape crisis, the list continues, they travel and they teach basic motorcycle maintenance. today is one of their events. it is a bike wash to raise money for a woman's hostel and for a trust fund for the family of a fallen rider. fyi, in the motorcycle community a fallen rider is one who does not get back up!
there is this little charmer who does not like his girl's offseason look. now don't get me wrong, some of us really like to add on the post show mass. i know last year i was one of those them, waddling around, stuffed into my clothes looking very much like a human coil of sausage. but i am not talking about that kind of offseason mass. this woman still looks in shape and many women still envy her condition. but buddy demands to know when she is going to look like she does in her show pics, so he can show her off.
then there is another who has convinced himself that he is merely trying to make his woman more comfortable with her body. he buys her dresses, tighter gym clothes and bikini's. but is he really trying to bring an introvert out of her shell? or is his real motivation the opportunity to be seen in the company of a chick sporting a hot little number?
my mother's main source of irritation is the lack of a man in my life. frequently she likes to initiate these little heart to heart talks, where she tries to understand exactly what it is, that i am doing wrong, that is keeping me from having someone. mother does not understand this line of conversation makes me feel like sh!t and i have no interest in discussing it. she doesn't understand that we all don't get someone. you would expect her to be more tolerant her mother, her aunt and her husband's baby sister have all lived their lives... alone. clearly the old maid gene has been passed on to me.
finally, especially now as i attempt to add more and more muscle to my frame... i know the chances of me ever finding anyone get slimmer and slimmer. there is a minute percentage of men who like women with muscle... and the percentage of men who like women with muscle, who have muscles themselves is even smaller. you subtract the men already in relationships and you've got little left to choose from. guess i won't be coming to a mantle near you any time soon.
the strength is starting to return in the gym, which is nice. i've already finished my two weeks of below maintenance eating. my weight has fluctuated wildly throughout these past two weeks. i can only imagine that my 32 months of dieting has my metabolism still in a bit of a tail spin. i am going to run another week of below maintenace eating... i think that my weight should be holding steady before i switch to the above maintenance. remember my friends the goal this time is NOT to repeat the mistakes of last offseason.
the photoshoot pics have arrived. i am still trying to sort out my feelings on them. that sounds bad... it could be because it is a very different look for me, it could be because i have never been 'good' at looking at myself objectively, or it could be... that it is simply too much. but it is nice to see that i really did improve my hamstrings this year.
the last thing i wanted to share is my plans for today. i recently found a women's only motorcycle club. first of all this club has chapters in canada, australia and the u.s. they 'ride' to raise money and awareness for women's issues; breast cancer, rape crisis, the list continues, they travel and they teach basic motorcycle maintenance. today is one of their events. it is a bike wash to raise money for a woman's hostel and for a trust fund for the family of a fallen rider. fyi, in the motorcycle community a fallen rider is one who does not get back up!
Thursday, August 09, 2007
know why you are doing this...
ronnie coleman say's it best "everybody wants to be a bodybuilder...", here is where i need to stop the big man and interject, but not everybody should be.
a friend of mine recently decided to do a show. she trained as best she could. sacrificed everything she felt necessary and stepped onto the stage looking the best she had every looked in her life. the trouble is... the other women she shared the stage with looked that much better. this was not their first time. they were more prepared... and it showed. going by the score sheet alone, my friend did not do so well.
well we all know that's part of the game. but i think maybe we also tend to believe that it can't happen to us. well let me tell you... it can... and sometimes it will. it is guaranteed on any given day somebody is going to bringing up the azz end of the competition.
so what happens when you find yourself filling out the 'also-rans'? well the reality is, your going to have to go back to your home gym. if the other members knew you were prepping, then they are all going to be waiting to hear how you did. the size of the gym and the number of people who knew your intentions directly relates to the number of times you will have to re-tell the same stories. you are also going to have to answer the enevitable so when's the next show?.
well my friend found those prospects so daunting that she stopped training at the gym. she found it easier to use the weights she had at home. she found it easier to stay at home when the definition left and her natural curves came back. now she feels 'fat' and horribly out of shape. now she worries that people will think poorly of her, because she no longer resembles the athlete she did in the weeks leading up to the contest. she found it easier to train at home because she realized that she didn't even like competition and she hated being on stage.
and the sadest part of all... she finds it easier to train at home because she no longer gets any joy out of lifting. somehow she now equates training with show prep. once the very act of getting stronger and lifting heavy was a joy uncontested and now there is only emptiness. now she struggles to find the will to train.
my friend is not the only competitor, that i know, who this has happend to. a few years ago another gym member did her first show. in the years since it has become painfully obvious that something changed for her. her training style has changed along with her physique. where once she had some enviable muscle bellies she now is just lean. year round she sports a low percentage of bodyfat. and each day she does more and more cardio. i even remember hearing through the grapevine that for a while she didn't even like training anymore.
today i sat down with my friend and i told her that there was no shame in putting back on some bodyfat or getting back a more 'healthy' physique. i reminded her that she achieved something that day that few people have the cajones to do. i told her she should be proud of herself, on that day she looked the best she has ever looked in her life. i also told her that she needed to find the joy she once had in lifting. that she should not pressure herself or stress out if it took longer than she felt it should. but mostly i told her there was no shame in realizing competition isn't for you. she needed to know that people are going to ask for a while... but eventually they will stop. and when they ask about the next show tell them that she wasn't sure if she would do another one ... or to ask them when their next show was :awink:
the woman i talked to today... didn't say as much, in as many words but it is very clear that she will never again step on stage. however the scary part is that her boyfriend would very much like her to. so if she ends up in show prep again i am sure it will be at his urging. my next conversation is with him to caution him against pressuring her, i hope i can make him see how dangerous this situation could be for her.
if your going to do a show, make sure you are doing it for YOU. find out everything you can about it. go SEE shows, get a feel for it, know what is expected. i wonder if she was a bit more prepared going in, would she still have gotten to this place?
i mean can you imagine losing your will to train???
i can't.
a friend of mine recently decided to do a show. she trained as best she could. sacrificed everything she felt necessary and stepped onto the stage looking the best she had every looked in her life. the trouble is... the other women she shared the stage with looked that much better. this was not their first time. they were more prepared... and it showed. going by the score sheet alone, my friend did not do so well.
well we all know that's part of the game. but i think maybe we also tend to believe that it can't happen to us. well let me tell you... it can... and sometimes it will. it is guaranteed on any given day somebody is going to bringing up the azz end of the competition.
so what happens when you find yourself filling out the 'also-rans'? well the reality is, your going to have to go back to your home gym. if the other members knew you were prepping, then they are all going to be waiting to hear how you did. the size of the gym and the number of people who knew your intentions directly relates to the number of times you will have to re-tell the same stories. you are also going to have to answer the enevitable so when's the next show?.
well my friend found those prospects so daunting that she stopped training at the gym. she found it easier to use the weights she had at home. she found it easier to stay at home when the definition left and her natural curves came back. now she feels 'fat' and horribly out of shape. now she worries that people will think poorly of her, because she no longer resembles the athlete she did in the weeks leading up to the contest. she found it easier to train at home because she realized that she didn't even like competition and she hated being on stage.
and the sadest part of all... she finds it easier to train at home because she no longer gets any joy out of lifting. somehow she now equates training with show prep. once the very act of getting stronger and lifting heavy was a joy uncontested and now there is only emptiness. now she struggles to find the will to train.
my friend is not the only competitor, that i know, who this has happend to. a few years ago another gym member did her first show. in the years since it has become painfully obvious that something changed for her. her training style has changed along with her physique. where once she had some enviable muscle bellies she now is just lean. year round she sports a low percentage of bodyfat. and each day she does more and more cardio. i even remember hearing through the grapevine that for a while she didn't even like training anymore.
today i sat down with my friend and i told her that there was no shame in putting back on some bodyfat or getting back a more 'healthy' physique. i reminded her that she achieved something that day that few people have the cajones to do. i told her she should be proud of herself, on that day she looked the best she has ever looked in her life. i also told her that she needed to find the joy she once had in lifting. that she should not pressure herself or stress out if it took longer than she felt it should. but mostly i told her there was no shame in realizing competition isn't for you. she needed to know that people are going to ask for a while... but eventually they will stop. and when they ask about the next show tell them that she wasn't sure if she would do another one ... or to ask them when their next show was :awink:
the woman i talked to today... didn't say as much, in as many words but it is very clear that she will never again step on stage. however the scary part is that her boyfriend would very much like her to. so if she ends up in show prep again i am sure it will be at his urging. my next conversation is with him to caution him against pressuring her, i hope i can make him see how dangerous this situation could be for her.
if your going to do a show, make sure you are doing it for YOU. find out everything you can about it. go SEE shows, get a feel for it, know what is expected. i wonder if she was a bit more prepared going in, would she still have gotten to this place?
i mean can you imagine losing your will to train???
i can't.
Monday, August 06, 2007
chock fulla nuts
a little over a week ago a story came across the boards. a professional strong man jesse marunde passed away while training. if memory serves he did 5 sets of 8 reps of squats followed by a set of 20 reps. two tire flips and i think there was something else before he laid down. laying down post set is something that he is known for doing... unfortunately this time it was different. his passing sparked a sense of community on the boards. so to honour his passing many of us added a 20 rep set our workouts.
sunday is my day to train quads, thus it was my day to do my 20 rep set. sunday, july 29th was also the day i promised to go out and skate with the guys. although i don't really see myself as having changed that much in the past 7+ years, clearly i have. the added muscle has changed my center of gravity and i really can't skate to save my life any more. it is kind of sad i mean it wasn't that long ago that i was a professional competitive rollerblader with a world ranking. these days on my skates, on the ramps i'm much like bambi on ice. but it was nice to spend some time with the guys again.
my legs were feeling all kinds of special post workout, but it really wasn't till the next day when it was time to deadlift that i really started hurting. but i wore the limp that ensued with honour.
it's been tough on the ego of late. i guess maybe that is why i haven't been blogging to much. a couple of unrelated incidents that due to their unfortunate timing have me taking one on the chin. or maybe it's just simply a case of me feeling a tad sorry for myself.
the first instance. out for a bite with a friend. he started telling me about a new girl he was casually dating. this new girl does train at our gym and i asked him if dating a woman who trained was something he felt he needed to do. my friend is generally a nice guy but he suffers from a horrible case of foot in mouth disease. so first he says that although it would be nice if she 'worked out', he didn't feel that he needed... struggling for words he pointed to my shoulders. he decided to try agian in order to be more 'clear'. he tells me that he likes his women to have 'womanly curves' and not 'mannish' musc-... about here his brain kicked in and he stopped talking and started apologizing profusely.
number two. there is a lot of drama going on right now in the gym. one of my friends there was telling me that there is a series of 'nicknames' that have been given to different female members. as you can imagine they aren't particularly flattering. i was quite suprised to hear that i had some how managed to avoid being nicknamed. she told me that the only thing she had heard about me was that they thought i was gay. apparently she came to my defence but, and here is the part that just makes me shake my head, the guy she was talking to told her that i was an fbb. and that as far as he was concerned we were all gay anyways.
i just found out that the women at work, were terrified of me when i started there. they took one look at me, and you have to understand that i don't see me as being all that 'big', and were convinced that i was going to kick the sh!t out of them. i couldn't for the life of me understand why one of the women wouldn't even talk to me for the first two weeks i was there. i get it now. for some reason... it really bothers me. not enough to stop doing what i'm doing, and not enough to start wearing turtle necks and sweaters... but on some level it does hurt.
as for the new plan. it's too soon to really tell, i do know that i haven't been sleeping very well and i think that might be having a negative effect on some of my results. i am pretty tired so far tonight so maybe i will sleep like a champ tonight. the upside is my strength gains are returning. the downside is i can see that i've filled out already and some of my definition is already gone. bodybuilding is a funny sport. you kill yourself getting lean, the whole time b!tching about the loss in strength. then it's post contest time and your strength is coming back and your disappointed at the return of the bodyfat.
i also received my copy of the show dvd in the mail. i was really frustrated by the way the show was shot... and particularily how he shot my routine. it was a tight shot, from just above my head to my belly button. i dieted for 26 weeks, i practiced that routine religiously and i have no clue how it looks. i have no idea if i hit all my poses properly, i have no idea if i flowed smoothly. $85 bucks down the sh!tter. the funny thing is, this company has an exclusivity arrangement with the OPA. so even if a friend or family member came in with a video camera, they would be told to turn it off.
the photoshoot pics have yet to be mailed out. they should be hitting the mail tomorrow morning. so with express post i should have them in a few days.
sunday is my day to train quads, thus it was my day to do my 20 rep set. sunday, july 29th was also the day i promised to go out and skate with the guys. although i don't really see myself as having changed that much in the past 7+ years, clearly i have. the added muscle has changed my center of gravity and i really can't skate to save my life any more. it is kind of sad i mean it wasn't that long ago that i was a professional competitive rollerblader with a world ranking. these days on my skates, on the ramps i'm much like bambi on ice. but it was nice to spend some time with the guys again.
my legs were feeling all kinds of special post workout, but it really wasn't till the next day when it was time to deadlift that i really started hurting. but i wore the limp that ensued with honour.
it's been tough on the ego of late. i guess maybe that is why i haven't been blogging to much. a couple of unrelated incidents that due to their unfortunate timing have me taking one on the chin. or maybe it's just simply a case of me feeling a tad sorry for myself.
the first instance. out for a bite with a friend. he started telling me about a new girl he was casually dating. this new girl does train at our gym and i asked him if dating a woman who trained was something he felt he needed to do. my friend is generally a nice guy but he suffers from a horrible case of foot in mouth disease. so first he says that although it would be nice if she 'worked out', he didn't feel that he needed... struggling for words he pointed to my shoulders. he decided to try agian in order to be more 'clear'. he tells me that he likes his women to have 'womanly curves' and not 'mannish' musc-... about here his brain kicked in and he stopped talking and started apologizing profusely.
number two. there is a lot of drama going on right now in the gym. one of my friends there was telling me that there is a series of 'nicknames' that have been given to different female members. as you can imagine they aren't particularly flattering. i was quite suprised to hear that i had some how managed to avoid being nicknamed. she told me that the only thing she had heard about me was that they thought i was gay. apparently she came to my defence but, and here is the part that just makes me shake my head, the guy she was talking to told her that i was an fbb. and that as far as he was concerned we were all gay anyways.
i just found out that the women at work, were terrified of me when i started there. they took one look at me, and you have to understand that i don't see me as being all that 'big', and were convinced that i was going to kick the sh!t out of them. i couldn't for the life of me understand why one of the women wouldn't even talk to me for the first two weeks i was there. i get it now. for some reason... it really bothers me. not enough to stop doing what i'm doing, and not enough to start wearing turtle necks and sweaters... but on some level it does hurt.
as for the new plan. it's too soon to really tell, i do know that i haven't been sleeping very well and i think that might be having a negative effect on some of my results. i am pretty tired so far tonight so maybe i will sleep like a champ tonight. the upside is my strength gains are returning. the downside is i can see that i've filled out already and some of my definition is already gone. bodybuilding is a funny sport. you kill yourself getting lean, the whole time b!tching about the loss in strength. then it's post contest time and your strength is coming back and your disappointed at the return of the bodyfat.
i also received my copy of the show dvd in the mail. i was really frustrated by the way the show was shot... and particularily how he shot my routine. it was a tight shot, from just above my head to my belly button. i dieted for 26 weeks, i practiced that routine religiously and i have no clue how it looks. i have no idea if i hit all my poses properly, i have no idea if i flowed smoothly. $85 bucks down the sh!tter. the funny thing is, this company has an exclusivity arrangement with the OPA. so even if a friend or family member came in with a video camera, they would be told to turn it off.
the photoshoot pics have yet to be mailed out. they should be hitting the mail tomorrow morning. so with express post i should have them in a few days.
Monday, July 30, 2007
the next episode...
offseason 2007-2008, the plan... in detail
there is a natural bb pro by the name of layne norton. who has his BS in bio chem and is currently working on a PHD in nutritional science. his area of specialty is skeletal muscle protein metabolism. i've been reading his posts, listening to his webcasts and his online guest appearances.
he has a very interesing idea in how i might make the best use of my offseason. by cycling your total caloric intake you can put yourself into a state of growth by elevating your natural hormone levels. you can put on more lean muscle mass, stay leaner, avoid the pitfalls of the bulk (tiredness, the bloat and the mental mind game of having more bf).
he does a 4-6 week cycle of maintenance + 500 cals/day followed by a 2-3 week cycle of maintenance - 300 cals/day. he claims its like continually coming off of a post contest diet and starting the offseason. a time when you are typically stronger, add muscle easier and you still tend to be somewhat lean.
this sounds interesting to me. i like the fact that i could stay leaner and could be in a better position to control any bad rebounds, (although george is convinced my last years rebound was more about my mental state than anything i did). however going 500 cals per day over maintenance scares me silly... so im going to adjust that a little bit. if you know me, you know i tend to err on the side of caution.
my under maintenace caloric intake will be 2100 calories. during my show prep diet i was still setting pr's at that caloric intake. there will be a 500 calorie defecit between my over and my under maintenance. which means during those two weeks that im under i should drop a few lbs of bf. as the main difference will be the carb intake i shouldnt lose muscular size.
the actual macro's are still the percentages that george calls for me. i want you guys to understand that i am merely modelling my offseason diet after layne's but that my guys still very much are george and b!!!
the plan for my workouts this offseason are simply a 4 week cycle of training more geared towards strength. heavy deads, heavy squats, push presses... during that 4 week cycle i will do the same workouts, each week trying to get more reps or more weight up. the next 4 weeks is more like the offseason cycle i did last offseason. every week there is a different exercise, the idea being to keep the body in a state of shock and hopefully growth.
the rep counts for most exercises will be 6-10. and NOTHING under 4 reps!!! the exceptions; my weak areas, my calves and my middle delts. i dont think either of these body parts respond to the heavy weight lower rep scenario. thus i am keeping the rep counts high here. as well callisto turned me onto an online article that suggested the real key to calf growth was aggressive stretching between sets. thus i am currently holding a 60+ second stretch post-set.
and finally cardio. it continues... but i will incorporate a more hit-like sprint into the standard 20 minutes on my over maintenance days. i will likely stick with my regular high but constant intensity for 20 minutes, on the under maintenance days.
i did my photoshoot a week ago saturday (no, i do not have any pics yet) and i've spent the better part of the week with less than stellar nutritional habits. thus, i start tomorrow a.m with 2 weeks of under maintenance.
i think this should be an interesting little experiment.
there is a natural bb pro by the name of layne norton. who has his BS in bio chem and is currently working on a PHD in nutritional science. his area of specialty is skeletal muscle protein metabolism. i've been reading his posts, listening to his webcasts and his online guest appearances.
he has a very interesing idea in how i might make the best use of my offseason. by cycling your total caloric intake you can put yourself into a state of growth by elevating your natural hormone levels. you can put on more lean muscle mass, stay leaner, avoid the pitfalls of the bulk (tiredness, the bloat and the mental mind game of having more bf).
he does a 4-6 week cycle of maintenance + 500 cals/day followed by a 2-3 week cycle of maintenance - 300 cals/day. he claims its like continually coming off of a post contest diet and starting the offseason. a time when you are typically stronger, add muscle easier and you still tend to be somewhat lean.
this sounds interesting to me. i like the fact that i could stay leaner and could be in a better position to control any bad rebounds, (although george is convinced my last years rebound was more about my mental state than anything i did). however going 500 cals per day over maintenance scares me silly... so im going to adjust that a little bit. if you know me, you know i tend to err on the side of caution.
my under maintenace caloric intake will be 2100 calories. during my show prep diet i was still setting pr's at that caloric intake. there will be a 500 calorie defecit between my over and my under maintenance. which means during those two weeks that im under i should drop a few lbs of bf. as the main difference will be the carb intake i shouldnt lose muscular size.
the actual macro's are still the percentages that george calls for me. i want you guys to understand that i am merely modelling my offseason diet after layne's but that my guys still very much are george and b!!!
the plan for my workouts this offseason are simply a 4 week cycle of training more geared towards strength. heavy deads, heavy squats, push presses... during that 4 week cycle i will do the same workouts, each week trying to get more reps or more weight up. the next 4 weeks is more like the offseason cycle i did last offseason. every week there is a different exercise, the idea being to keep the body in a state of shock and hopefully growth.
the rep counts for most exercises will be 6-10. and NOTHING under 4 reps!!! the exceptions; my weak areas, my calves and my middle delts. i dont think either of these body parts respond to the heavy weight lower rep scenario. thus i am keeping the rep counts high here. as well callisto turned me onto an online article that suggested the real key to calf growth was aggressive stretching between sets. thus i am currently holding a 60+ second stretch post-set.
and finally cardio. it continues... but i will incorporate a more hit-like sprint into the standard 20 minutes on my over maintenance days. i will likely stick with my regular high but constant intensity for 20 minutes, on the under maintenance days.
i did my photoshoot a week ago saturday (no, i do not have any pics yet) and i've spent the better part of the week with less than stellar nutritional habits. thus, i start tomorrow a.m with 2 weeks of under maintenance.
i think this should be an interesting little experiment.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
playin catch up... again
it was an interesting week. i wanted to start sharing some pics from the ride last sunday. speed racer, another friend, (to be named later), and i took our bikes out for a ride. it wasn't the longest of rides as i had a family obligation... but it was fun while it lasted. we even had time to get a little silly.
why do i bother going to family things? it's not that i grossly dislike my family. it's just, in my head my family is my mother, father and two brothers. but there is the sister-in-law, her two sisters, two brothers, step parent, step parents best friend, all the assorted children, and so on...
my brother and his wife were having a bbq on sunday. my mother was adamant i attend. or as she put it, show my face. so i did. the backyard was full of some people i knew, some i didn't and the place was littered with kids.
so how was the bbq? well the food options didn't really excite me. i tried a few things but mostly i just gave up and filled up on bread. as for conversation i mostly ended up talking to my brother. no, not that one... the one who lives here in this house.
i originally intended to stay an hour but i only made it to the 3/4 mark. if i did not get out of there right quick i was likely to have some sort of breakdown. gillian, one of the sister's-in-law gave me the verbal gears for eating and running. i did not respond. i was attending under duress and wasn't entirely sure i could rebut without mentioning that. to add insult to injury my brother's developmentally challenged nephew wanted to discuss the dangers of motorcycles with me. he was standing in front of me asking me if i knew that 'motorcycles cause all of the accidents on the road'.
the aforementioned sister-in-law asked me to let them hear me leave... and i gotta tell you i was more than happy to oblige. headed down the street a little bit, turned around, spun the throttle and gave them a symphony in hindle* minor.
*hindle is the after market pipe that is on my little girl. gives her a very throaty rumble. (insert big azz grin here).
things got a little stupid on the board this week. the long and the short of it is, there was a portion of the board that splintered off and formed their own board. which is fine, or at least would be, if people wouldn't be so inclined to act like they were still in high school. somehow it has become this an 'us' and 'them' thing. which is retarded frankly, especially when you realize that many members are active on both boards.
i've been speaking my mind a bit more actively on my board of late. what i didn't realize is that the moderators were paying attention. i tend to live my life under the radar. i am not the type to command attention as i come into a room. i think after a while you just be come aware that i am there. so when i was asked to join the ranks as a mod... well, i still can't put into words how that felt. of course i said yes... quite emphatically, in fact. i grew up as a fbb on that board, i've made some fantastic friends, i've learned a lot and i welcome the opportunity to do what i can to make sure it remains that way for others.
okay i gotta jet... i'm late. more later... i promise
why do i bother going to family things? it's not that i grossly dislike my family. it's just, in my head my family is my mother, father and two brothers. but there is the sister-in-law, her two sisters, two brothers, step parent, step parents best friend, all the assorted children, and so on...
my brother and his wife were having a bbq on sunday. my mother was adamant i attend. or as she put it, show my face. so i did. the backyard was full of some people i knew, some i didn't and the place was littered with kids.
so how was the bbq? well the food options didn't really excite me. i tried a few things but mostly i just gave up and filled up on bread. as for conversation i mostly ended up talking to my brother. no, not that one... the one who lives here in this house.
i originally intended to stay an hour but i only made it to the 3/4 mark. if i did not get out of there right quick i was likely to have some sort of breakdown. gillian, one of the sister's-in-law gave me the verbal gears for eating and running. i did not respond. i was attending under duress and wasn't entirely sure i could rebut without mentioning that. to add insult to injury my brother's developmentally challenged nephew wanted to discuss the dangers of motorcycles with me. he was standing in front of me asking me if i knew that 'motorcycles cause all of the accidents on the road'.
the aforementioned sister-in-law asked me to let them hear me leave... and i gotta tell you i was more than happy to oblige. headed down the street a little bit, turned around, spun the throttle and gave them a symphony in hindle* minor.
*hindle is the after market pipe that is on my little girl. gives her a very throaty rumble. (insert big azz grin here).
things got a little stupid on the board this week. the long and the short of it is, there was a portion of the board that splintered off and formed their own board. which is fine, or at least would be, if people wouldn't be so inclined to act like they were still in high school. somehow it has become this an 'us' and 'them' thing. which is retarded frankly, especially when you realize that many members are active on both boards.
i've been speaking my mind a bit more actively on my board of late. what i didn't realize is that the moderators were paying attention. i tend to live my life under the radar. i am not the type to command attention as i come into a room. i think after a while you just be come aware that i am there. so when i was asked to join the ranks as a mod... well, i still can't put into words how that felt. of course i said yes... quite emphatically, in fact. i grew up as a fbb on that board, i've made some fantastic friends, i've learned a lot and i welcome the opportunity to do what i can to make sure it remains that way for others.
okay i gotta jet... i'm late. more later... i promise
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