ronnie coleman say's it best "everybody wants to be a bodybuilder...", here is where i need to stop the big man and interject, but not everybody should be.
a friend of mine recently decided to do a show. she trained as best she could. sacrificed everything she felt necessary and stepped onto the stage looking the best she had every looked in her life. the trouble is... the other women she shared the stage with looked that much better. this was not their first time. they were more prepared... and it showed. going by the score sheet alone, my friend did not do so well.
well we all know that's part of the game. but i think maybe we also tend to believe that it can't happen to us. well let me tell you... it can... and sometimes it will. it is guaranteed on any given day somebody is going to bringing up the azz end of the competition.
so what happens when you find yourself filling out the 'also-rans'? well the reality is, your going to have to go back to your home gym. if the other members knew you were prepping, then they are all going to be waiting to hear how you did. the size of the gym and the number of people who knew your intentions directly relates to the number of times you will have to re-tell the same stories. you are also going to have to answer the enevitable so when's the next show?.
well my friend found those prospects so daunting that she stopped training at the gym. she found it easier to use the weights she had at home. she found it easier to stay at home when the definition left and her natural curves came back. now she feels 'fat' and horribly out of shape. now she worries that people will think poorly of her, because she no longer resembles the athlete she did in the weeks leading up to the contest. she found it easier to train at home because she realized that she didn't even like competition and she hated being on stage.
and the sadest part of all... she finds it easier to train at home because she no longer gets any joy out of lifting. somehow she now equates training with show prep. once the very act of getting stronger and lifting heavy was a joy uncontested and now there is only emptiness. now she struggles to find the will to train.
my friend is not the only competitor, that i know, who this has happend to. a few years ago another gym member did her first show. in the years since it has become painfully obvious that something changed for her. her training style has changed along with her physique. where once she had some enviable muscle bellies she now is just lean. year round she sports a low percentage of bodyfat. and each day she does more and more cardio. i even remember hearing through the grapevine that for a while she didn't even like training anymore.
today i sat down with my friend and i told her that there was no shame in putting back on some bodyfat or getting back a more 'healthy' physique. i reminded her that she achieved something that day that few people have the cajones to do. i told her she should be proud of herself, on that day she looked the best she has ever looked in her life. i also told her that she needed to find the joy she once had in lifting. that she should not pressure herself or stress out if it took longer than she felt it should. but mostly i told her there was no shame in realizing competition isn't for you. she needed to know that people are going to ask for a while... but eventually they will stop. and when they ask about the next show tell them that she wasn't sure if she would do another one ... or to ask them when their next show was :awink:
the woman i talked to today... didn't say as much, in as many words but it is very clear that she will never again step on stage. however the scary part is that her boyfriend would very much like her to. so if she ends up in show prep again i am sure it will be at his urging. my next conversation is with him to caution him against pressuring her, i hope i can make him see how dangerous this situation could be for her.
if your going to do a show, make sure you are doing it for YOU. find out everything you can about it. go SEE shows, get a feel for it, know what is expected. i wonder if she was a bit more prepared going in, would she still have gotten to this place?
i mean can you imagine losing your will to train???
i can't.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
chock fulla nuts
a little over a week ago a story came across the boards. a professional strong man jesse marunde passed away while training. if memory serves he did 5 sets of 8 reps of squats followed by a set of 20 reps. two tire flips and i think there was something else before he laid down. laying down post set is something that he is known for doing... unfortunately this time it was different. his passing sparked a sense of community on the boards. so to honour his passing many of us added a 20 rep set our workouts.
sunday is my day to train quads, thus it was my day to do my 20 rep set. sunday, july 29th was also the day i promised to go out and skate with the guys. although i don't really see myself as having changed that much in the past 7+ years, clearly i have. the added muscle has changed my center of gravity and i really can't skate to save my life any more. it is kind of sad i mean it wasn't that long ago that i was a professional competitive rollerblader with a world ranking. these days on my skates, on the ramps i'm much like bambi on ice. but it was nice to spend some time with the guys again.
my legs were feeling all kinds of special post workout, but it really wasn't till the next day when it was time to deadlift that i really started hurting. but i wore the limp that ensued with honour.
it's been tough on the ego of late. i guess maybe that is why i haven't been blogging to much. a couple of unrelated incidents that due to their unfortunate timing have me taking one on the chin. or maybe it's just simply a case of me feeling a tad sorry for myself.
the first instance. out for a bite with a friend. he started telling me about a new girl he was casually dating. this new girl does train at our gym and i asked him if dating a woman who trained was something he felt he needed to do. my friend is generally a nice guy but he suffers from a horrible case of foot in mouth disease. so first he says that although it would be nice if she 'worked out', he didn't feel that he needed... struggling for words he pointed to my shoulders. he decided to try agian in order to be more 'clear'. he tells me that he likes his women to have 'womanly curves' and not 'mannish' musc-... about here his brain kicked in and he stopped talking and started apologizing profusely.
number two. there is a lot of drama going on right now in the gym. one of my friends there was telling me that there is a series of 'nicknames' that have been given to different female members. as you can imagine they aren't particularly flattering. i was quite suprised to hear that i had some how managed to avoid being nicknamed. she told me that the only thing she had heard about me was that they thought i was gay. apparently she came to my defence but, and here is the part that just makes me shake my head, the guy she was talking to told her that i was an fbb. and that as far as he was concerned we were all gay anyways.
i just found out that the women at work, were terrified of me when i started there. they took one look at me, and you have to understand that i don't see me as being all that 'big', and were convinced that i was going to kick the sh!t out of them. i couldn't for the life of me understand why one of the women wouldn't even talk to me for the first two weeks i was there. i get it now. for some reason... it really bothers me. not enough to stop doing what i'm doing, and not enough to start wearing turtle necks and sweaters... but on some level it does hurt.
as for the new plan. it's too soon to really tell, i do know that i haven't been sleeping very well and i think that might be having a negative effect on some of my results. i am pretty tired so far tonight so maybe i will sleep like a champ tonight. the upside is my strength gains are returning. the downside is i can see that i've filled out already and some of my definition is already gone. bodybuilding is a funny sport. you kill yourself getting lean, the whole time b!tching about the loss in strength. then it's post contest time and your strength is coming back and your disappointed at the return of the bodyfat.
i also received my copy of the show dvd in the mail. i was really frustrated by the way the show was shot... and particularily how he shot my routine. it was a tight shot, from just above my head to my belly button. i dieted for 26 weeks, i practiced that routine religiously and i have no clue how it looks. i have no idea if i hit all my poses properly, i have no idea if i flowed smoothly. $85 bucks down the sh!tter. the funny thing is, this company has an exclusivity arrangement with the OPA. so even if a friend or family member came in with a video camera, they would be told to turn it off.
the photoshoot pics have yet to be mailed out. they should be hitting the mail tomorrow morning. so with express post i should have them in a few days.
sunday is my day to train quads, thus it was my day to do my 20 rep set. sunday, july 29th was also the day i promised to go out and skate with the guys. although i don't really see myself as having changed that much in the past 7+ years, clearly i have. the added muscle has changed my center of gravity and i really can't skate to save my life any more. it is kind of sad i mean it wasn't that long ago that i was a professional competitive rollerblader with a world ranking. these days on my skates, on the ramps i'm much like bambi on ice. but it was nice to spend some time with the guys again.
my legs were feeling all kinds of special post workout, but it really wasn't till the next day when it was time to deadlift that i really started hurting. but i wore the limp that ensued with honour.
it's been tough on the ego of late. i guess maybe that is why i haven't been blogging to much. a couple of unrelated incidents that due to their unfortunate timing have me taking one on the chin. or maybe it's just simply a case of me feeling a tad sorry for myself.
the first instance. out for a bite with a friend. he started telling me about a new girl he was casually dating. this new girl does train at our gym and i asked him if dating a woman who trained was something he felt he needed to do. my friend is generally a nice guy but he suffers from a horrible case of foot in mouth disease. so first he says that although it would be nice if she 'worked out', he didn't feel that he needed... struggling for words he pointed to my shoulders. he decided to try agian in order to be more 'clear'. he tells me that he likes his women to have 'womanly curves' and not 'mannish' musc-... about here his brain kicked in and he stopped talking and started apologizing profusely.
number two. there is a lot of drama going on right now in the gym. one of my friends there was telling me that there is a series of 'nicknames' that have been given to different female members. as you can imagine they aren't particularly flattering. i was quite suprised to hear that i had some how managed to avoid being nicknamed. she told me that the only thing she had heard about me was that they thought i was gay. apparently she came to my defence but, and here is the part that just makes me shake my head, the guy she was talking to told her that i was an fbb. and that as far as he was concerned we were all gay anyways.
i just found out that the women at work, were terrified of me when i started there. they took one look at me, and you have to understand that i don't see me as being all that 'big', and were convinced that i was going to kick the sh!t out of them. i couldn't for the life of me understand why one of the women wouldn't even talk to me for the first two weeks i was there. i get it now. for some reason... it really bothers me. not enough to stop doing what i'm doing, and not enough to start wearing turtle necks and sweaters... but on some level it does hurt.
as for the new plan. it's too soon to really tell, i do know that i haven't been sleeping very well and i think that might be having a negative effect on some of my results. i am pretty tired so far tonight so maybe i will sleep like a champ tonight. the upside is my strength gains are returning. the downside is i can see that i've filled out already and some of my definition is already gone. bodybuilding is a funny sport. you kill yourself getting lean, the whole time b!tching about the loss in strength. then it's post contest time and your strength is coming back and your disappointed at the return of the bodyfat.
i also received my copy of the show dvd in the mail. i was really frustrated by the way the show was shot... and particularily how he shot my routine. it was a tight shot, from just above my head to my belly button. i dieted for 26 weeks, i practiced that routine religiously and i have no clue how it looks. i have no idea if i hit all my poses properly, i have no idea if i flowed smoothly. $85 bucks down the sh!tter. the funny thing is, this company has an exclusivity arrangement with the OPA. so even if a friend or family member came in with a video camera, they would be told to turn it off.
the photoshoot pics have yet to be mailed out. they should be hitting the mail tomorrow morning. so with express post i should have them in a few days.
Monday, July 30, 2007
the next episode...
offseason 2007-2008, the plan... in detail
there is a natural bb pro by the name of layne norton. who has his BS in bio chem and is currently working on a PHD in nutritional science. his area of specialty is skeletal muscle protein metabolism. i've been reading his posts, listening to his webcasts and his online guest appearances.
he has a very interesing idea in how i might make the best use of my offseason. by cycling your total caloric intake you can put yourself into a state of growth by elevating your natural hormone levels. you can put on more lean muscle mass, stay leaner, avoid the pitfalls of the bulk (tiredness, the bloat and the mental mind game of having more bf).
he does a 4-6 week cycle of maintenance + 500 cals/day followed by a 2-3 week cycle of maintenance - 300 cals/day. he claims its like continually coming off of a post contest diet and starting the offseason. a time when you are typically stronger, add muscle easier and you still tend to be somewhat lean.
this sounds interesting to me. i like the fact that i could stay leaner and could be in a better position to control any bad rebounds, (although george is convinced my last years rebound was more about my mental state than anything i did). however going 500 cals per day over maintenance scares me silly... so im going to adjust that a little bit. if you know me, you know i tend to err on the side of caution.
my under maintenace caloric intake will be 2100 calories. during my show prep diet i was still setting pr's at that caloric intake. there will be a 500 calorie defecit between my over and my under maintenance. which means during those two weeks that im under i should drop a few lbs of bf. as the main difference will be the carb intake i shouldnt lose muscular size.
the actual macro's are still the percentages that george calls for me. i want you guys to understand that i am merely modelling my offseason diet after layne's but that my guys still very much are george and b!!!
the plan for my workouts this offseason are simply a 4 week cycle of training more geared towards strength. heavy deads, heavy squats, push presses... during that 4 week cycle i will do the same workouts, each week trying to get more reps or more weight up. the next 4 weeks is more like the offseason cycle i did last offseason. every week there is a different exercise, the idea being to keep the body in a state of shock and hopefully growth.
the rep counts for most exercises will be 6-10. and NOTHING under 4 reps!!! the exceptions; my weak areas, my calves and my middle delts. i dont think either of these body parts respond to the heavy weight lower rep scenario. thus i am keeping the rep counts high here. as well callisto turned me onto an online article that suggested the real key to calf growth was aggressive stretching between sets. thus i am currently holding a 60+ second stretch post-set.
and finally cardio. it continues... but i will incorporate a more hit-like sprint into the standard 20 minutes on my over maintenance days. i will likely stick with my regular high but constant intensity for 20 minutes, on the under maintenance days.
i did my photoshoot a week ago saturday (no, i do not have any pics yet) and i've spent the better part of the week with less than stellar nutritional habits. thus, i start tomorrow a.m with 2 weeks of under maintenance.
i think this should be an interesting little experiment.
there is a natural bb pro by the name of layne norton. who has his BS in bio chem and is currently working on a PHD in nutritional science. his area of specialty is skeletal muscle protein metabolism. i've been reading his posts, listening to his webcasts and his online guest appearances.
he has a very interesing idea in how i might make the best use of my offseason. by cycling your total caloric intake you can put yourself into a state of growth by elevating your natural hormone levels. you can put on more lean muscle mass, stay leaner, avoid the pitfalls of the bulk (tiredness, the bloat and the mental mind game of having more bf).
he does a 4-6 week cycle of maintenance + 500 cals/day followed by a 2-3 week cycle of maintenance - 300 cals/day. he claims its like continually coming off of a post contest diet and starting the offseason. a time when you are typically stronger, add muscle easier and you still tend to be somewhat lean.
this sounds interesting to me. i like the fact that i could stay leaner and could be in a better position to control any bad rebounds, (although george is convinced my last years rebound was more about my mental state than anything i did). however going 500 cals per day over maintenance scares me silly... so im going to adjust that a little bit. if you know me, you know i tend to err on the side of caution.
my under maintenace caloric intake will be 2100 calories. during my show prep diet i was still setting pr's at that caloric intake. there will be a 500 calorie defecit between my over and my under maintenance. which means during those two weeks that im under i should drop a few lbs of bf. as the main difference will be the carb intake i shouldnt lose muscular size.
the actual macro's are still the percentages that george calls for me. i want you guys to understand that i am merely modelling my offseason diet after layne's but that my guys still very much are george and b!!!
the plan for my workouts this offseason are simply a 4 week cycle of training more geared towards strength. heavy deads, heavy squats, push presses... during that 4 week cycle i will do the same workouts, each week trying to get more reps or more weight up. the next 4 weeks is more like the offseason cycle i did last offseason. every week there is a different exercise, the idea being to keep the body in a state of shock and hopefully growth.
the rep counts for most exercises will be 6-10. and NOTHING under 4 reps!!! the exceptions; my weak areas, my calves and my middle delts. i dont think either of these body parts respond to the heavy weight lower rep scenario. thus i am keeping the rep counts high here. as well callisto turned me onto an online article that suggested the real key to calf growth was aggressive stretching between sets. thus i am currently holding a 60+ second stretch post-set.
and finally cardio. it continues... but i will incorporate a more hit-like sprint into the standard 20 minutes on my over maintenance days. i will likely stick with my regular high but constant intensity for 20 minutes, on the under maintenance days.
i did my photoshoot a week ago saturday (no, i do not have any pics yet) and i've spent the better part of the week with less than stellar nutritional habits. thus, i start tomorrow a.m with 2 weeks of under maintenance.
i think this should be an interesting little experiment.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
playin catch up... again
it was an interesting week. i wanted to start sharing some pics from the ride last sunday. speed racer, another friend, (to be named later), and i took our bikes out for a ride. it wasn't the longest of rides as i had a family obligation... but it was fun while it lasted. we even had time to get a little silly.
why do i bother going to family things? it's not that i grossly dislike my family. it's just, in my head my family is my mother, father and two brothers. but there is the sister-in-law, her two sisters, two brothers, step parent, step parents best friend, all the assorted children, and so on...
my brother and his wife were having a bbq on sunday. my mother was adamant i attend. or as she put it, show my face. so i did. the backyard was full of some people i knew, some i didn't and the place was littered with kids.
so how was the bbq? well the food options didn't really excite me. i tried a few things but mostly i just gave up and filled up on bread. as for conversation i mostly ended up talking to my brother. no, not that one... the one who lives here in this house.
i originally intended to stay an hour but i only made it to the 3/4 mark. if i did not get out of there right quick i was likely to have some sort of breakdown. gillian, one of the sister's-in-law gave me the verbal gears for eating and running. i did not respond. i was attending under duress and wasn't entirely sure i could rebut without mentioning that. to add insult to injury my brother's developmentally challenged nephew wanted to discuss the dangers of motorcycles with me. he was standing in front of me asking me if i knew that 'motorcycles cause all of the accidents on the road'.
the aforementioned sister-in-law asked me to let them hear me leave... and i gotta tell you i was more than happy to oblige. headed down the street a little bit, turned around, spun the throttle and gave them a symphony in hindle* minor.
*hindle is the after market pipe that is on my little girl. gives her a very throaty rumble. (insert big azz grin here).
things got a little stupid on the board this week. the long and the short of it is, there was a portion of the board that splintered off and formed their own board. which is fine, or at least would be, if people wouldn't be so inclined to act like they were still in high school. somehow it has become this an 'us' and 'them' thing. which is retarded frankly, especially when you realize that many members are active on both boards.
i've been speaking my mind a bit more actively on my board of late. what i didn't realize is that the moderators were paying attention. i tend to live my life under the radar. i am not the type to command attention as i come into a room. i think after a while you just be come aware that i am there. so when i was asked to join the ranks as a mod... well, i still can't put into words how that felt. of course i said yes... quite emphatically, in fact. i grew up as a fbb on that board, i've made some fantastic friends, i've learned a lot and i welcome the opportunity to do what i can to make sure it remains that way for others.
okay i gotta jet... i'm late. more later... i promise
why do i bother going to family things? it's not that i grossly dislike my family. it's just, in my head my family is my mother, father and two brothers. but there is the sister-in-law, her two sisters, two brothers, step parent, step parents best friend, all the assorted children, and so on...
my brother and his wife were having a bbq on sunday. my mother was adamant i attend. or as she put it, show my face. so i did. the backyard was full of some people i knew, some i didn't and the place was littered with kids.
so how was the bbq? well the food options didn't really excite me. i tried a few things but mostly i just gave up and filled up on bread. as for conversation i mostly ended up talking to my brother. no, not that one... the one who lives here in this house.
i originally intended to stay an hour but i only made it to the 3/4 mark. if i did not get out of there right quick i was likely to have some sort of breakdown. gillian, one of the sister's-in-law gave me the verbal gears for eating and running. i did not respond. i was attending under duress and wasn't entirely sure i could rebut without mentioning that. to add insult to injury my brother's developmentally challenged nephew wanted to discuss the dangers of motorcycles with me. he was standing in front of me asking me if i knew that 'motorcycles cause all of the accidents on the road'.
the aforementioned sister-in-law asked me to let them hear me leave... and i gotta tell you i was more than happy to oblige. headed down the street a little bit, turned around, spun the throttle and gave them a symphony in hindle* minor.
*hindle is the after market pipe that is on my little girl. gives her a very throaty rumble. (insert big azz grin here).
things got a little stupid on the board this week. the long and the short of it is, there was a portion of the board that splintered off and formed their own board. which is fine, or at least would be, if people wouldn't be so inclined to act like they were still in high school. somehow it has become this an 'us' and 'them' thing. which is retarded frankly, especially when you realize that many members are active on both boards.
i've been speaking my mind a bit more actively on my board of late. what i didn't realize is that the moderators were paying attention. i tend to live my life under the radar. i am not the type to command attention as i come into a room. i think after a while you just be come aware that i am there. so when i was asked to join the ranks as a mod... well, i still can't put into words how that felt. of course i said yes... quite emphatically, in fact. i grew up as a fbb on that board, i've made some fantastic friends, i've learned a lot and i welcome the opportunity to do what i can to make sure it remains that way for others.
okay i gotta jet... i'm late. more later... i promise
Sunday, July 22, 2007
a lot to cover... hope you brought a sandwich
on one hand i want to dive in and talk about yesterday. while its fresh and current in my mind but on the other hand i think it makes more sense to lead you to yesterday. thus i will force myself to be brief. if you've been reading my blogs for a while you know i do tend to suffer from hyperbole at times. and if you've been reading along for a while you will also know, that too... is part of my charm.
saturday past was the annual gym charity bbq. it's an all hands on deck kind of affair. thus your's truly was working that day. which is fine but working at a bbq when you have been dieting for 31 weeks is really not that much fun at all. mother nature thought it might be even more fun to alternate between a light summer shower and pissing rain. and to add insult to injury the game of the day was 'torment the dieting miche'. i'd like to tell you coach b was exempt from this type of behaviour but i'd be lying. part way through the bbq the call came in. we had a photographer and a shoot date!!!
coach b only approved 1 outfit from my last shopping trip which meant miche was going shopping... again. i went with one of his clients as i likely would not have been able to co-ordinate a trip out with my friends sappho and nene. i have not been on a shopping excursion quite like that one in a long time. it was reminiscent of the way my mother shops... and there are reasons why i will NOT go shopping with mom's any more.
we were in the first store for a long time. d parked me in the fitting room and her and the sales girl kept running more suits to me. most of them had 3 digit price tags. wtf!! one piece bathing suits for $215??? i mean thats more than i spend for a posing suit. i tried on a jillion suits... some repeatedly. she put some on hold and we went to another store where the process was repeated. the difference being the stuff in that store i could afford! so i tried on another jillion suits... some repeatedly. we made a choice and we went back to the first store. where again i tried on everything that we had put on hold. she rejected every last one of them. d went digging for a bunch of new suits she eventually found an $80 suit that we both liked so finally the trip was done.
i had two conversations with photographer john butler, prior to meeting him on saturday. he sounded like a great guy and he has shot for musclemag in the past. his hair and make up stylist of choice is a very interesting man by the name of gig (jee-shj). they both came with a different slant for b's initial concept. this shoot was more of a character shoot than the one i did with glen last summer.
my hair and make up was quite wild and we played with the 'lone wolf' personna. yesterday the red wolf was born. we shot in the aerobics studio at my gym, with sheets placed over the windows for privacy. the shoot itself took 5 hours. the aerobics studio has a lot of mirrors, it was interesting watching the only reflection that could have been me. it was even wilder looking at some of the shots john took.
i can honestly say i don't know half of what b has in mind . but i do know he investing a lot in me. i pray that i will somehow be able to pay him back. for now i will have to take pleasure in the joy that this journey seems to bring him. i mentioned in posts earlier how happy and how proud of me he was after sudbury. well during the shoot yesterday, i got this feeling so i went with it and i tried something. i can't describe it, it was a look, an attitude a feeling. whatever i did worked john was enthusiastic and b did what can only be described as a one man high-five with a controlled victory dance.
not all of the shots were character shots. there was a complete change of make up so i will also have some more traditional stuff as well. either way it was a great experience... and a whole mess of fun. i look forward to working with both men again in the future.
some of the boys from the skatepark days were having a party last night and i was invited. i didn't remove my hair pieces or my make up after the shoot. i figured for kicks, i'd go like that. well with my baggy jeans and cropped t-shirt im sure i made quite the visual oddity. in fact, i stopped in at tim horton's and the looks i got there were pretty priceless.
i had a pretty decent time at the party. my buddy ian has a pull-up/dip station in his living room that eventually we started using. but mostly it was fun to see some of the old faces again... and of course reminisce about my 'fruit booter' days. i think i may have also agreed to skate at the 'hoof' next sunday morning. ack!!!
this post is way too long but i have one more story i want to share. there were two women at the party last night who were obviously a couple. it was amusing to me because i've never seen anyone who went to such extents to be that obvious. there were a few trips to the bathroom together. there was a certain way they went about it, to ensure that we all noticed. i don't know who these women were, none of my friends introduced them to me... like they did some of the other guests. eventually the makeup started to degenerate and get into my eyes and i knew it was time to head home.
it so happened that the couple and their other friend were all leaving the same time i did. they caught up to me at the elevators. i jokingly said, 'timing was everything', when the elevator doors opened just as they all walked up. my comment was not acknowledged. since i didn't know any of them i did what all people do when they get into an elevator with strangers, i looked up and watched the numbers change.
the girl in front of me said to her partner 'what ARE you doing?'. her partner replies 'im making an already uncomfortable situation more uncomfortable'. it occurred to me that since they all came together... that comment was made for my benefit. my right eye was so full of eyeliner and god knows what else that it was seriously trying to jump out of my skull to freedom. so i didn't really have any interest in playing games. i continued to watch the numbers change... with my one good eye.
while still trying to get a rise out of me, the partner then says 'do you know how much testicles weigh?'. her girlfriend didn't answer so eventually she said, '2 ouunces'. the partner shot a look at me... i guess she was still trying to get a reaction out of me. i just kept watching the numbers.
all i can assume is that these women were young and i guess still in a militant phase? its funny... i know a lot of loving couples both same sex and not and i don't ever recall such a 'hey look at me' approach. oh wait that's not entirely true. the dark side to 'fbb' is very much like that... and i choose not to acknowledge that behaviour either.
happy sunday!
saturday past was the annual gym charity bbq. it's an all hands on deck kind of affair. thus your's truly was working that day. which is fine but working at a bbq when you have been dieting for 31 weeks is really not that much fun at all. mother nature thought it might be even more fun to alternate between a light summer shower and pissing rain. and to add insult to injury the game of the day was 'torment the dieting miche'. i'd like to tell you coach b was exempt from this type of behaviour but i'd be lying. part way through the bbq the call came in. we had a photographer and a shoot date!!!
coach b only approved 1 outfit from my last shopping trip which meant miche was going shopping... again. i went with one of his clients as i likely would not have been able to co-ordinate a trip out with my friends sappho and nene. i have not been on a shopping excursion quite like that one in a long time. it was reminiscent of the way my mother shops... and there are reasons why i will NOT go shopping with mom's any more.
we were in the first store for a long time. d parked me in the fitting room and her and the sales girl kept running more suits to me. most of them had 3 digit price tags. wtf!! one piece bathing suits for $215??? i mean thats more than i spend for a posing suit. i tried on a jillion suits... some repeatedly. she put some on hold and we went to another store where the process was repeated. the difference being the stuff in that store i could afford! so i tried on another jillion suits... some repeatedly. we made a choice and we went back to the first store. where again i tried on everything that we had put on hold. she rejected every last one of them. d went digging for a bunch of new suits she eventually found an $80 suit that we both liked so finally the trip was done.
i had two conversations with photographer john butler, prior to meeting him on saturday. he sounded like a great guy and he has shot for musclemag in the past. his hair and make up stylist of choice is a very interesting man by the name of gig (jee-shj). they both came with a different slant for b's initial concept. this shoot was more of a character shoot than the one i did with glen last summer.
my hair and make up was quite wild and we played with the 'lone wolf' personna. yesterday the red wolf was born. we shot in the aerobics studio at my gym, with sheets placed over the windows for privacy. the shoot itself took 5 hours. the aerobics studio has a lot of mirrors, it was interesting watching the only reflection that could have been me. it was even wilder looking at some of the shots john took.
i can honestly say i don't know half of what b has in mind . but i do know he investing a lot in me. i pray that i will somehow be able to pay him back. for now i will have to take pleasure in the joy that this journey seems to bring him. i mentioned in posts earlier how happy and how proud of me he was after sudbury. well during the shoot yesterday, i got this feeling so i went with it and i tried something. i can't describe it, it was a look, an attitude a feeling. whatever i did worked john was enthusiastic and b did what can only be described as a one man high-five with a controlled victory dance.
not all of the shots were character shots. there was a complete change of make up so i will also have some more traditional stuff as well. either way it was a great experience... and a whole mess of fun. i look forward to working with both men again in the future.
some of the boys from the skatepark days were having a party last night and i was invited. i didn't remove my hair pieces or my make up after the shoot. i figured for kicks, i'd go like that. well with my baggy jeans and cropped t-shirt im sure i made quite the visual oddity. in fact, i stopped in at tim horton's and the looks i got there were pretty priceless.
i had a pretty decent time at the party. my buddy ian has a pull-up/dip station in his living room that eventually we started using. but mostly it was fun to see some of the old faces again... and of course reminisce about my 'fruit booter' days. i think i may have also agreed to skate at the 'hoof' next sunday morning. ack!!!
this post is way too long but i have one more story i want to share. there were two women at the party last night who were obviously a couple. it was amusing to me because i've never seen anyone who went to such extents to be that obvious. there were a few trips to the bathroom together. there was a certain way they went about it, to ensure that we all noticed. i don't know who these women were, none of my friends introduced them to me... like they did some of the other guests. eventually the makeup started to degenerate and get into my eyes and i knew it was time to head home.
it so happened that the couple and their other friend were all leaving the same time i did. they caught up to me at the elevators. i jokingly said, 'timing was everything', when the elevator doors opened just as they all walked up. my comment was not acknowledged. since i didn't know any of them i did what all people do when they get into an elevator with strangers, i looked up and watched the numbers change.
the girl in front of me said to her partner 'what ARE you doing?'. her partner replies 'im making an already uncomfortable situation more uncomfortable'. it occurred to me that since they all came together... that comment was made for my benefit. my right eye was so full of eyeliner and god knows what else that it was seriously trying to jump out of my skull to freedom. so i didn't really have any interest in playing games. i continued to watch the numbers change... with my one good eye.
while still trying to get a rise out of me, the partner then says 'do you know how much testicles weigh?'. her girlfriend didn't answer so eventually she said, '2 ouunces'. the partner shot a look at me... i guess she was still trying to get a reaction out of me. i just kept watching the numbers.
all i can assume is that these women were young and i guess still in a militant phase? its funny... i know a lot of loving couples both same sex and not and i don't ever recall such a 'hey look at me' approach. oh wait that's not entirely true. the dark side to 'fbb' is very much like that... and i choose not to acknowledge that behaviour either.
happy sunday!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
what a week continued...
my strength is starting to come back. granted all the calories aren't back in yet, but i think with the reduced cardio activity i'm just not as worn out. don't get me wrong i am not breaking offseason records but i am definately lifting heavier and for more reps each workout. but with the increased strength comes an increased need for calories... so currently i am always hungry.
my sleep pattern has hit the skids. although the upside is that it has yet to really affect my mood, (yesterday at the gym bbq withstanding... more on that later). i think the sleeplessness is a mixture of a few variables. as we all know i am a worrier, tis what i do, and to quote an old carly simon song 'nobody does it better'. the monatary situation continues to be a challenge. granted i went from one job right into a freelance contract but i have yet to collect my first payment. this is not uncommon in the freelance game, which is why it is always smartest to have a bankroll going in.
in order to make the money last i have been doing without a lot of things, but i do owe a lot of money and it would be nice to start working my way back out of debt. my contact lenses clearly need to be replaced, i've had them for years, the prescription is fine, but they no longer respond to weekly cleaning. and if that weren't enough on friday the 13th i knocked my glasses off and broke the arm off. so as i sit here and type this blog i have my glasses balanced quite precariously upon my nose.
besides being hungry and worrying about my finances i have also returned to my previous habit of planning my day, week, month, workout... in my head when i should be trying to relax and fall asleep. the planning, i am told, is something i can control but i have yet to figure out how to actually do it.
i have to go into the gym a little later this morning. one of my friends is prepping for a show. her boyfriend is still trying to learn how to support a competitive athlete and all that entails. thus, to help her out i offered to shoot her progress pics and today we will be shooting again.
its interesting how very difficult it is for competitive athletes to find supportive partners. the upside is, the one's who are truly supportive, more than make up for the rest... and sometimes they can even give a big ole pessimist like me a sliver of hope.
of course then i wake up LOL. have a great day!
my sleep pattern has hit the skids. although the upside is that it has yet to really affect my mood, (yesterday at the gym bbq withstanding... more on that later). i think the sleeplessness is a mixture of a few variables. as we all know i am a worrier, tis what i do, and to quote an old carly simon song 'nobody does it better'. the monatary situation continues to be a challenge. granted i went from one job right into a freelance contract but i have yet to collect my first payment. this is not uncommon in the freelance game, which is why it is always smartest to have a bankroll going in.
in order to make the money last i have been doing without a lot of things, but i do owe a lot of money and it would be nice to start working my way back out of debt. my contact lenses clearly need to be replaced, i've had them for years, the prescription is fine, but they no longer respond to weekly cleaning. and if that weren't enough on friday the 13th i knocked my glasses off and broke the arm off. so as i sit here and type this blog i have my glasses balanced quite precariously upon my nose.
besides being hungry and worrying about my finances i have also returned to my previous habit of planning my day, week, month, workout... in my head when i should be trying to relax and fall asleep. the planning, i am told, is something i can control but i have yet to figure out how to actually do it.
i have to go into the gym a little later this morning. one of my friends is prepping for a show. her boyfriend is still trying to learn how to support a competitive athlete and all that entails. thus, to help her out i offered to shoot her progress pics and today we will be shooting again.
its interesting how very difficult it is for competitive athletes to find supportive partners. the upside is, the one's who are truly supportive, more than make up for the rest... and sometimes they can even give a big ole pessimist like me a sliver of hope.
of course then i wake up LOL. have a great day!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
what a week!!
talk about busy. i am still freelancing at the same place. partway through monday's work day they realized that they would need me for the rest of the week and likely most, if not all, of next week. there were a brief couple of minutes wherein they thought they would be sending me home early and at best i got out of there one day 30 minutes early. and i am now officially freelancer of choice... the name plate went up outside my cubicle on tuesday.
tuesday and wednesday i go straight from one job to the next. which tends to earn me a couple late nights. particularily wednesday as i train after my shift ends. had an interesting experience on wednesday with a new member.
seems the little woman came in and bought him a membership for his birthday, and he was required to come in and have his picture taken and sign his release form. when i handed him the release form he balked. then he poured over it, which is fine i don't expect anyone to sign anything they haven't read. but then he says that he isn't signing the release and that he wants his money back. i inform him that i don't have to power to do that and that he would have to call the gym the next day and speak to the club manager. well then he really gets his knickers in a twist. tells me that he isn't going to sign a piece of paper that says it's not his fault if he gets hurt. if the equipment malfunctions and he gets hurt it is our fault. then he tells me his wife was kind enough to put up the money up front and he demands the refund just as quickly. so i phone the club manager and captain sunshine continues his ranting.
i am on the phone with the manager and i am outlining the situation, when he leans in and announces that he would 'like to speak to someone in management'. i pause briefly and explain that i am currently on the phone with the manager. he again says well 'i would like to talk to them... myself!'. i pause... and without much in the way of acknowledgement i return to my conversation with the club manager. which is probably what prompted mr charming to say 'and tell them they need better help!!'. when i was done outlining the situation i told the manager that happy and smiles was demanding to talk to him, and then i handed chuckles the phone. they worked out a deal that made goofy happy and i let him in to go train.
now his mood has changed, now he is my very best friend. 'sorry about all that business before, i've had a bad experience with waivers'. fair enough sir, enjoy your workout (which is miche for go fawk yourself!!!). he takes two steps away and leans back and says 'don't mind me... i don't get out much'. not minding him would have been easier had he simply fawked off like i had asked. i probably said did appropriate like smiled.
now here is the best part. he comes out after his workout and i am stationed behind the juice bar. he of course would like me to make him a shake. still being all sweetness and light. calling me honey and sh!t like that. thinking he is making it better i am sure... but how do you make miche see red? talk down to her and call her honey, baby, sweetheart or any of that sh!t. i make the shake and get this he insists on leaving me a .75 cent tip.
since when does .75 cents make up for being a total azz hat??
late for the gym... more to post to this thread later.
tuesday and wednesday i go straight from one job to the next. which tends to earn me a couple late nights. particularily wednesday as i train after my shift ends. had an interesting experience on wednesday with a new member.
seems the little woman came in and bought him a membership for his birthday, and he was required to come in and have his picture taken and sign his release form. when i handed him the release form he balked. then he poured over it, which is fine i don't expect anyone to sign anything they haven't read. but then he says that he isn't signing the release and that he wants his money back. i inform him that i don't have to power to do that and that he would have to call the gym the next day and speak to the club manager. well then he really gets his knickers in a twist. tells me that he isn't going to sign a piece of paper that says it's not his fault if he gets hurt. if the equipment malfunctions and he gets hurt it is our fault. then he tells me his wife was kind enough to put up the money up front and he demands the refund just as quickly. so i phone the club manager and captain sunshine continues his ranting.
i am on the phone with the manager and i am outlining the situation, when he leans in and announces that he would 'like to speak to someone in management'. i pause briefly and explain that i am currently on the phone with the manager. he again says well 'i would like to talk to them... myself!'. i pause... and without much in the way of acknowledgement i return to my conversation with the club manager. which is probably what prompted mr charming to say 'and tell them they need better help!!'. when i was done outlining the situation i told the manager that happy and smiles was demanding to talk to him, and then i handed chuckles the phone. they worked out a deal that made goofy happy and i let him in to go train.
now his mood has changed, now he is my very best friend. 'sorry about all that business before, i've had a bad experience with waivers'. fair enough sir, enjoy your workout (which is miche for go fawk yourself!!!). he takes two steps away and leans back and says 'don't mind me... i don't get out much'. not minding him would have been easier had he simply fawked off like i had asked. i probably said did appropriate like smiled.
now here is the best part. he comes out after his workout and i am stationed behind the juice bar. he of course would like me to make him a shake. still being all sweetness and light. calling me honey and sh!t like that. thinking he is making it better i am sure... but how do you make miche see red? talk down to her and call her honey, baby, sweetheart or any of that sh!t. i make the shake and get this he insists on leaving me a .75 cent tip.
since when does .75 cents make up for being a total azz hat??
late for the gym... more to post to this thread later.
Monday, July 09, 2007
i made the right decision
a lot of times we play the 'shoulda, coulda, woulda' game and all we really end up doing is making ourselves crazy with the 'what ifs'. i always recommend that friends make a decision, stick with it and not look back. sometimes i even manage to take my own advice.
well my friends, the official stage shots came in the mail today. and since i've been home i have been pouring over them quite intently. i am proud of myself, i did what i set out to do... i was vastly improved from last years condition. i can also see that i made the right decision to sit out the canadian naturals this year. although i still believe i would have done well... it's obvious to me that my physique is not yet of the calibre of the women who won the respective weight classes. don't get me wrong i would not have embarrased myself being on stage with them, but i believe next year i will be more competitive. and after all is that not the true goal of our sport?
in many way's i am glad that the pictures came when they did. i believe that after we diet, as many weeks as we do, we tend to get a slightly distorted view of our conditioning. often i think we credit ourselves with being in better shape than we were. i can honestly say that i thought i looked better than the pictures clearly indicate. is that a bad thing? no, not really... quite the contrary, i can see what i need to improve on for next year.
i have been thinking that the target for 2008 is 8-9% bodyfat. i am not sure how hard it will be to get down there, but based on what i see when i look at this years pictures, i could have still been a bit leaner. my quads could be a bit more defined. unfortunately there were no shots taken of my hamstrings an area that i focused on for 2007.
i hope this post does not come across as sullen, depressed or defeated. what it is, is inspired. i am the kind of athlete who doesn't blow smoke up her own azz and i don't expect any of you to either. i am a work in progress. i am not yet done... but if there is one thing i learned in 2007, it is... that i can do anything i set my mind to.
well my friends, the official stage shots came in the mail today. and since i've been home i have been pouring over them quite intently. i am proud of myself, i did what i set out to do... i was vastly improved from last years condition. i can also see that i made the right decision to sit out the canadian naturals this year. although i still believe i would have done well... it's obvious to me that my physique is not yet of the calibre of the women who won the respective weight classes. don't get me wrong i would not have embarrased myself being on stage with them, but i believe next year i will be more competitive. and after all is that not the true goal of our sport?
in many way's i am glad that the pictures came when they did. i believe that after we diet, as many weeks as we do, we tend to get a slightly distorted view of our conditioning. often i think we credit ourselves with being in better shape than we were. i can honestly say that i thought i looked better than the pictures clearly indicate. is that a bad thing? no, not really... quite the contrary, i can see what i need to improve on for next year.
i have been thinking that the target for 2008 is 8-9% bodyfat. i am not sure how hard it will be to get down there, but based on what i see when i look at this years pictures, i could have still been a bit leaner. my quads could be a bit more defined. unfortunately there were no shots taken of my hamstrings an area that i focused on for 2007.
i hope this post does not come across as sullen, depressed or defeated. what it is, is inspired. i am the kind of athlete who doesn't blow smoke up her own azz and i don't expect any of you to either. i am a work in progress. i am not yet done... but if there is one thing i learned in 2007, it is... that i can do anything i set my mind to.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
rambling...
so i stopped by my friend paul's place today. basically, he has printed up some posters that we are going to display in the gym. he wanted to hear what was going on with me and when i told him about the photoshoot snafu, he came up with a suggestion that i think could work. i can't wait to talk it over with coach b tomorrow and see what he thinks.
today's workout was pretty inspired, i blame it on the extra calories... carbs truly are a wonderful thing. it was not a workout up to my offseason standards but it was nice, to say the least to start to push a bit more weight.
alot of us like to document our workouts. it's just a handy tool to track improvements in strength and condition, or when things are going south... it can also point out what needs to be adjusted, corrected, or changed. well over the year's i've had a variety of training logs. my favourite was the weider log, unfortunately it has since been discontinued and nothing on the shelves now... seems to come close. some of us prefer to use a regular notebook but i prefer the log book.
i find myself in need of a new book, smack dab in the middle of the year. well it finally occurred to me, why not take the best bits of all the books i've enjoyed and design one specifically for me. so i did that today. i picked up a small 3-ring binder, (with a 5.5 x 8.5" sheet size), at a clearance store. and i created my own log pages... why didn't i think of this sooner??
today's workout was pretty inspired, i blame it on the extra calories... carbs truly are a wonderful thing. it was not a workout up to my offseason standards but it was nice, to say the least to start to push a bit more weight.
alot of us like to document our workouts. it's just a handy tool to track improvements in strength and condition, or when things are going south... it can also point out what needs to be adjusted, corrected, or changed. well over the year's i've had a variety of training logs. my favourite was the weider log, unfortunately it has since been discontinued and nothing on the shelves now... seems to come close. some of us prefer to use a regular notebook but i prefer the log book.
i find myself in need of a new book, smack dab in the middle of the year. well it finally occurred to me, why not take the best bits of all the books i've enjoyed and design one specifically for me. so i did that today. i picked up a small 3-ring binder, (with a 5.5 x 8.5" sheet size), at a clearance store. and i created my own log pages... why didn't i think of this sooner??
Saturday, July 07, 2007
a dose of reality
well it wouldn't be interesting if it was easy.
i guess that is the mindset that attracts to me to each and every challenge i face. be it skiing, ski racing, rollerblading, ramp skating, snowboarding, bb... the list is endless. so i guess i shouldn't be too deterred by the realization that i may not instantly land upon my feet like a cat.
what in the hell am i talking about?
on friday the production manager, where i am currently freelancing, had a talk with me. regardless of the fact that i have been set up with email and have a pass card to the building. there just isn't the workload to keep me on indefinately. bummer! oh well... eye of the tiger, i will survive.
friday, while i was at work i got a call from my father. he wanted to know if i was expecting a package. i am expecting 3 shipments; the overall trophy, the official show pics and a copy of the video. he told me that a package was waiting at the house. he didn't tell me anymore than that and i didn't ask. my parents still do not know that i compete. since i don't compete, it might be a tad tricky to explain the trophies and whatnot. so i spent the entire afternoon wondering what was waiting at the house.
it was the trophy. here is a picture of the overall trophy and since i don't remember showing you the first place trophy, here she is too. the heavyweight 1st place trophy is currently in two pieces. since the overall trophy is made of glass you can bet your bottom dollar it's NOT going to the gym!!
today was the day i had set aside to have my cheat meal. it was my belated mother's day celebration. the plan was to take mom out for lunch and a movie. she knew i was dieting on mother's day, she just didn't know the real reason behind the diet. i have been planning these cheat meals with some of the same attention and diligence that go into planning a naval air strike or a recognizance mission.
the restaurant of choice jack astor's bar and grill. from the online menu i chose the rigatoni with grilled chicken. the last pasta dish i had was december 8th i started dieting the next day. the dessert menu had a chocolate cake called the avalanche that i thought sounded interesting. well the pasta dish was okay at best... not particularily tasty and decidedly unfulfilling. no need to fear there was always dessert right? well... the cake was good, i enjoyed the cream sauce that was drizzled over it, but in comparison to the hunks of cake i have enjoyed with my cheats in weeks past... well this was reminiscent of an marginally overgrown cupcake. *sigh.
as i sat in the theatre wading thru endless commercials and coming attractions i started to do some soul searching. i thought about how uninspired i have become of late to 'hold my condition'. i need a specific date to focus on. i thought about how unfulfilling my cheat meal was. i also realized that at 4 weeks post show, i have essentially been dieting for 31 weeks!!! thus, much like george gave me the weekend off after the show, i have decided to give myself the rest of the weekend off. so basically i am now eating whatever, until monday morning when i will return to clean eating and clean living.
next weekend i am having pizza with julie. that cheat meal is guaranteed to rock!!
finally i have recently shared my blog addy with 3 more friends off of the boards. welcome... i hope you all enjoy the ride.
better get my azz to bed!!
i guess that is the mindset that attracts to me to each and every challenge i face. be it skiing, ski racing, rollerblading, ramp skating, snowboarding, bb... the list is endless. so i guess i shouldn't be too deterred by the realization that i may not instantly land upon my feet like a cat.
what in the hell am i talking about?
on friday the production manager, where i am currently freelancing, had a talk with me. regardless of the fact that i have been set up with email and have a pass card to the building. there just isn't the workload to keep me on indefinately. bummer! oh well... eye of the tiger, i will survive.
friday, while i was at work i got a call from my father. he wanted to know if i was expecting a package. i am expecting 3 shipments; the overall trophy, the official show pics and a copy of the video. he told me that a package was waiting at the house. he didn't tell me anymore than that and i didn't ask. my parents still do not know that i compete. since i don't compete, it might be a tad tricky to explain the trophies and whatnot. so i spent the entire afternoon wondering what was waiting at the house.
it was the trophy. here is a picture of the overall trophy and since i don't remember showing you the first place trophy, here she is too. the heavyweight 1st place trophy is currently in two pieces. since the overall trophy is made of glass you can bet your bottom dollar it's NOT going to the gym!!
today was the day i had set aside to have my cheat meal. it was my belated mother's day celebration. the plan was to take mom out for lunch and a movie. she knew i was dieting on mother's day, she just didn't know the real reason behind the diet. i have been planning these cheat meals with some of the same attention and diligence that go into planning a naval air strike or a recognizance mission.
the restaurant of choice jack astor's bar and grill. from the online menu i chose the rigatoni with grilled chicken. the last pasta dish i had was december 8th i started dieting the next day. the dessert menu had a chocolate cake called the avalanche that i thought sounded interesting. well the pasta dish was okay at best... not particularily tasty and decidedly unfulfilling. no need to fear there was always dessert right? well... the cake was good, i enjoyed the cream sauce that was drizzled over it, but in comparison to the hunks of cake i have enjoyed with my cheats in weeks past... well this was reminiscent of an marginally overgrown cupcake. *sigh.
as i sat in the theatre wading thru endless commercials and coming attractions i started to do some soul searching. i thought about how uninspired i have become of late to 'hold my condition'. i need a specific date to focus on. i thought about how unfulfilling my cheat meal was. i also realized that at 4 weeks post show, i have essentially been dieting for 31 weeks!!! thus, much like george gave me the weekend off after the show, i have decided to give myself the rest of the weekend off. so basically i am now eating whatever, until monday morning when i will return to clean eating and clean living.
next weekend i am having pizza with julie. that cheat meal is guaranteed to rock!!
finally i have recently shared my blog addy with 3 more friends off of the boards. welcome... i hope you all enjoy the ride.
better get my azz to bed!!
Friday, July 06, 2007
everything and nothing
so it looks like i have officially stopped journalling my workouts on the sc board. i've been feeling less like posting lately, i'm not entirely sure why. it could be as friends have noticed, an excess of drama on that board right now. the reason that attracted me to it in the first place, was the feeling of comraderie and support that emanated from it. alot of other athletes have since moved on or stopped posted journals all together. the upside is, i should have more time to post in here.
training has been going well. as well as can be expected considering my caloric intake is still about 500 calories shy of offseason. currently my weight is about 138-140lbs. i am happy to report that even my coach has lost his patience with the photographer and he has now started placing calls to source someone else. the photographer has just been too busy with his regular job to even have the time to, as he puts it, 'pick up a camera'.
the one thing that i am, is pretty dayumm sore. i noticed last year that the first real squat workout post show kills you! i'd say it takes about a week for the muscular ache to go away, just about time to do it again ironically enough. so far i've squatted twice and i've had a similar reaction. it really shouldn't continue for much longer.
things are going well at my freelance assignment. i've been putting in a fair number of hours and i think its going well. i've worked for this company in the past. if i remember correctly i was placed there by an agency back in 2002. i was only supposed to do a 2 week week contract... i left sometime in the summer of 2004! i'm hoping for a similar situation this time round.
if you know me, you likely know that i am a modest individual. so at the gym when asked 'so how did your show go?' or 'how did you do?' i tend to reply either with 'it went very well, thank you' or 'i did very well, actually'. when i am uncomfortable i will often end sentences with the word 'actually'. i've been in conversations with gym members who have told me that i should not be like that. that i should share the results with the folks of the gym, so they can celebrate with me and that i should learn to 'toot my own horn'.
as many people at that gym who think well of me, there are probably just as many who don't for whatever reason. i can't help but think that those people are just waiting for me to do something that they can hate on. i don't want to hear that people think i am acting like i think that i am the sh!t. part of me knows you can't control how people think. part of me knows that people are going to talk sh!t no matter what. but i am trying not to give them any additional ammunition.
why am i like this? why do i care so much what people, some of whom i don't even like, think of me? i think it goes back to my formative years. i think if you end up running home from school with the entire grade 4, (or was it grade 5), class hot on your heels, itching to kick your azz... you learn a thing or two about self preservation.
oh... and for the record, the angry hothead didn't develop until much later. my own little ying and yang i suppose. love me, love my quirky azz!!!
until next time...
training has been going well. as well as can be expected considering my caloric intake is still about 500 calories shy of offseason. currently my weight is about 138-140lbs. i am happy to report that even my coach has lost his patience with the photographer and he has now started placing calls to source someone else. the photographer has just been too busy with his regular job to even have the time to, as he puts it, 'pick up a camera'.
the one thing that i am, is pretty dayumm sore. i noticed last year that the first real squat workout post show kills you! i'd say it takes about a week for the muscular ache to go away, just about time to do it again ironically enough. so far i've squatted twice and i've had a similar reaction. it really shouldn't continue for much longer.
things are going well at my freelance assignment. i've been putting in a fair number of hours and i think its going well. i've worked for this company in the past. if i remember correctly i was placed there by an agency back in 2002. i was only supposed to do a 2 week week contract... i left sometime in the summer of 2004! i'm hoping for a similar situation this time round.
if you know me, you likely know that i am a modest individual. so at the gym when asked 'so how did your show go?' or 'how did you do?' i tend to reply either with 'it went very well, thank you' or 'i did very well, actually'. when i am uncomfortable i will often end sentences with the word 'actually'. i've been in conversations with gym members who have told me that i should not be like that. that i should share the results with the folks of the gym, so they can celebrate with me and that i should learn to 'toot my own horn'.
as many people at that gym who think well of me, there are probably just as many who don't for whatever reason. i can't help but think that those people are just waiting for me to do something that they can hate on. i don't want to hear that people think i am acting like i think that i am the sh!t. part of me knows you can't control how people think. part of me knows that people are going to talk sh!t no matter what. but i am trying not to give them any additional ammunition.
why am i like this? why do i care so much what people, some of whom i don't even like, think of me? i think it goes back to my formative years. i think if you end up running home from school with the entire grade 4, (or was it grade 5), class hot on your heels, itching to kick your azz... you learn a thing or two about self preservation.
oh... and for the record, the angry hothead didn't develop until much later. my own little ying and yang i suppose. love me, love my quirky azz!!!
until next time...
Monday, July 02, 2007
jade hath spoken!!!
seems with all my careful planning i forgot to ask jade what she wanted. well she found a way to let me know.
i was out today with speedracer when we stopped at a gas station. while speedracer filled up her tank i looked down and low and behold my right signal light was hanging from the fairing by the wires. it would appear that the plastic weld on that side has finally given out. so it was back to speedracer's house for a quick patch job.
yup, jade wants the facelift!!!
pics to follow... courtesy of speedracer
enjoy!
i was out today with speedracer when we stopped at a gas station. while speedracer filled up her tank i looked down and low and behold my right signal light was hanging from the fairing by the wires. it would appear that the plastic weld on that side has finally given out. so it was back to speedracer's house for a quick patch job.
yup, jade wants the facelift!!!
pics to follow... courtesy of speedracer
enjoy!
untitled... thus far
its 6:30 am holiday monday. for those of you not canadian, july 1st is canada's birthday, our 'dominion day'. i can honestly say this was the first three day weekend in quite some time that i wasn't desperately looking forward to. could it be that i am currently in a happier place right now? i do hope so. people at the gym seem to think so. there have been more than a few comments of late about how nice it is that i have my smile back.
we have three trophies at the gym. one was won by a basketball team we sponsored and the other two are mine; last years 2nd place and this years first. one of my clients has always said that there should be a trophy case installed. he even went so far as to say he was going to get one and bring it in. i am fairly certain he was joking.
yesterday while at the gym waiting my client to show up. i happened to look up at where the trophies were the figurine on the 2007 trophy was sporting a pimp lean that i didn't quite remember. i asked the staff guy what was up with the trophy and he went over to where she was to pick her up. she came up but the base didn't. rob set about trying to fix her with duct tape. rob's got a big heart... and he is a bit of a character in his own right.
my client came in, in the midst of operation trophy repair and he was pretty upset. he has taken the pieces of my trophy to his 'plant' where he intends on fixing her. he then told my coach that he WILL be also be bringing in a trophy case!!
i am still having my one meal a week cheat, it is still a gorge fest at this point. saturday night was with some of my friends from the old skatepark days. and i even got to meet a couple of the new girlfriends. both kathleen and kerry seem very nice... but mostly it was just really nice to see rog and jamie so happy. we went to casey's where i polished off another 3 cheese bison burger, sweet potato fries, 2 roses from my cookie bouqet and heidi's mile high chocolate cake. i was STUFFED... i am amazed really, that i didn't hurl in my helmet on the bumpy ride home.
speaking of jade, there is news on the bike front. i recently burned out my headlight bulb and on saturday morning i replaced it. working on a bike is not an easy thing to do. everything is so close together and the space small and confined. you can only really either look at what you need to do or put your hands in there and do it. that brings my bike maintenance/repair skills up to three. i can bleed the gas from the carb to unblock any dirt deposits, i can remove and replace the battery and now i can replace a bulb. i must say i really do enjoy learning how to take care of jade.
i joined a ex 500 bike forum and its helped me understand my bike a bit more. its also cool because a lot of those guys have modified or restored their bikes and it has always been something i've toyed with the idea of doing. in the past everytime i have mentioned it i have been talked out of it. i'm told not to waste my money as i will eventually be moving up to a bigger bike. i'm not sure about that, there are a lot of happy ex 500 owners on my board. and i'm not sure i'm going to be putting THAT much money into her. basically i want to do this all myself... just to see if i can.
so my plan is, to store her maybe a month early (like i did last year). and then take off her 'plastics' and her seat. before the 'winter' comes i want to try to do some fiberglass repair on the two really bad spots on my front fairing, (by the signal lights). over the winter i will go to a fabric store and purchase vinyl and a thin cushion and reupolster my seat. in the new year, when i am too 'stoned' from dieting to ride, i hope to touch up the paint on the plastics and when i can 'ride' put the bikey back together. i think it will be an interesting challenge... and if you have been reading this blog for more than a minute, you will know this is one girl who loves her challenges!!!
better get going, training back with my coach this a.m and i need to squeeze in another meal before we deadlift.
we have three trophies at the gym. one was won by a basketball team we sponsored and the other two are mine; last years 2nd place and this years first. one of my clients has always said that there should be a trophy case installed. he even went so far as to say he was going to get one and bring it in. i am fairly certain he was joking.
yesterday while at the gym waiting my client to show up. i happened to look up at where the trophies were the figurine on the 2007 trophy was sporting a pimp lean that i didn't quite remember. i asked the staff guy what was up with the trophy and he went over to where she was to pick her up. she came up but the base didn't. rob set about trying to fix her with duct tape. rob's got a big heart... and he is a bit of a character in his own right.
my client came in, in the midst of operation trophy repair and he was pretty upset. he has taken the pieces of my trophy to his 'plant' where he intends on fixing her. he then told my coach that he WILL be also be bringing in a trophy case!!
i am still having my one meal a week cheat, it is still a gorge fest at this point. saturday night was with some of my friends from the old skatepark days. and i even got to meet a couple of the new girlfriends. both kathleen and kerry seem very nice... but mostly it was just really nice to see rog and jamie so happy. we went to casey's where i polished off another 3 cheese bison burger, sweet potato fries, 2 roses from my cookie bouqet and heidi's mile high chocolate cake. i was STUFFED... i am amazed really, that i didn't hurl in my helmet on the bumpy ride home.
speaking of jade, there is news on the bike front. i recently burned out my headlight bulb and on saturday morning i replaced it. working on a bike is not an easy thing to do. everything is so close together and the space small and confined. you can only really either look at what you need to do or put your hands in there and do it. that brings my bike maintenance/repair skills up to three. i can bleed the gas from the carb to unblock any dirt deposits, i can remove and replace the battery and now i can replace a bulb. i must say i really do enjoy learning how to take care of jade.
i joined a ex 500 bike forum and its helped me understand my bike a bit more. its also cool because a lot of those guys have modified or restored their bikes and it has always been something i've toyed with the idea of doing. in the past everytime i have mentioned it i have been talked out of it. i'm told not to waste my money as i will eventually be moving up to a bigger bike. i'm not sure about that, there are a lot of happy ex 500 owners on my board. and i'm not sure i'm going to be putting THAT much money into her. basically i want to do this all myself... just to see if i can.
so my plan is, to store her maybe a month early (like i did last year). and then take off her 'plastics' and her seat. before the 'winter' comes i want to try to do some fiberglass repair on the two really bad spots on my front fairing, (by the signal lights). over the winter i will go to a fabric store and purchase vinyl and a thin cushion and reupolster my seat. in the new year, when i am too 'stoned' from dieting to ride, i hope to touch up the paint on the plastics and when i can 'ride' put the bikey back together. i think it will be an interesting challenge... and if you have been reading this blog for more than a minute, you will know this is one girl who loves her challenges!!!
better get going, training back with my coach this a.m and i need to squeeze in another meal before we deadlift.
Friday, June 29, 2007
the state of fbb
you know i was all set to blog yesterday morning about an alarming trend ive noticed within the sport of fbb. but an errant squirrel took a careless step, did the high-wire free fall and subsequently took out the power on my street. i put pen to paper and proceeded to record my thoughts the old fashioned way. interestingly enough, this morning while i still have the same bee in my bonnet, i no longer wish to express myself the same way. thus 3 and half pages of note pad scrawlings have been scrapped for whatever comes out of this.
there are a number of established fbb's and by that i mean, either with years of nationally level competition under their belt or even newly turned pro's with nary a trip to the pro-stage, who are disillusioned and losing interest in the sport.
basically, they have noticed as have i, that the sport is changing. not uncommon, sports do change and evolve. but it's more about what bb is morphing into that is of a concern. both sides of the sport seem to have lost the enthusiasm for the classic physique with the pleasing lines. bodybuilding was about human sculpture, it was about art. currently we have a lot of athletes, again male and female, who want to be pro's today!
how often do i hear on the boards, of some person who has yet to even do a show talking about having a pro-card in as little as 2 or 3 years. some of them haven't even been training for size for that long and they want to be pro's. so usually in order to play catch up, these athletes have to go a little wild on the drug side.
okay now this sounds like an anti-drug rant and it's not. i am well aware of the use in the sport and although it's not for me i harbour no ill will towards those that do. all i am trying to point out is that alot of bbers, who are already 'established' have years of natural lifting and competition behind them prior to turning on the 'gas'. and when they add it, as i understand it, it's not added sporatically. so you have to figure that a newbie with barely a year's training under his/her belt is going to have to dig pretty deep into the drug well to be competitive.
the end result are physiques that are either just freakish expanses of muscle or a physique without the classic, pleasing lines.
well it looks like there are more than a few fbb's who no longer like what the competition has to offer. and sadly for me, as a fan of classic bb, instead of staying in the game and giving the fans an option these women are giving up the sport. retiring from competition and climbing aboard the nearest stepmill to burn off the years of hard fought muscle.
the very bodies that we need to save fbb are the very ones looking to quit... and that my friends, is a very sad thing indeed.
there are a number of established fbb's and by that i mean, either with years of nationally level competition under their belt or even newly turned pro's with nary a trip to the pro-stage, who are disillusioned and losing interest in the sport.
basically, they have noticed as have i, that the sport is changing. not uncommon, sports do change and evolve. but it's more about what bb is morphing into that is of a concern. both sides of the sport seem to have lost the enthusiasm for the classic physique with the pleasing lines. bodybuilding was about human sculpture, it was about art. currently we have a lot of athletes, again male and female, who want to be pro's today!
how often do i hear on the boards, of some person who has yet to even do a show talking about having a pro-card in as little as 2 or 3 years. some of them haven't even been training for size for that long and they want to be pro's. so usually in order to play catch up, these athletes have to go a little wild on the drug side.
okay now this sounds like an anti-drug rant and it's not. i am well aware of the use in the sport and although it's not for me i harbour no ill will towards those that do. all i am trying to point out is that alot of bbers, who are already 'established' have years of natural lifting and competition behind them prior to turning on the 'gas'. and when they add it, as i understand it, it's not added sporatically. so you have to figure that a newbie with barely a year's training under his/her belt is going to have to dig pretty deep into the drug well to be competitive.
the end result are physiques that are either just freakish expanses of muscle or a physique without the classic, pleasing lines.
well it looks like there are more than a few fbb's who no longer like what the competition has to offer. and sadly for me, as a fan of classic bb, instead of staying in the game and giving the fans an option these women are giving up the sport. retiring from competition and climbing aboard the nearest stepmill to burn off the years of hard fought muscle.
the very bodies that we need to save fbb are the very ones looking to quit... and that my friends, is a very sad thing indeed.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
getting a few things off my chest
it's probably well past time for an update. my apologies.
the week immediatly following my show was the natural canadians or the world qualifier as its officially known. and just this past weekend we had the OPA provincials (the untested tier). in the past few weeks i've really had the opportunity to observe the behaviour of other competitors. this observation has helped me to further learn the type of athlete i wish to be and be known as.
first of all allow me to state the obvious... we all want to win. any athlete who tells you they don't want to win is either a dayumm liar, or not much of an athlete. however, there is a difference between wanting to win and some of the sh!t i've been seeing lately. in any sport there are things that improve your chances for success on the playing field, in bodybuilding some of those things are; diet (you have to STAY on one and stay true to your diet), cardio (see diet), training (see diet) and sleep.
i almost seems like some athletes feel they are owed wins, wether they have done all of the work or not. you are also not owed a win if you are bigger than your opponent, especially if you are bigger because your bodyfat percentage is higher. our sport is judged on symmetry, size and conditioning. sometimes people seem to forget about that final requirement.
you should be judged on how you show up THAT day, and as an athlete you should go into the show knowing that. you can't expect the judges to score you higher because you've been in better shape in the past and they 'know' you can do it again. show them you can do it again by showing up in shape!!!
don't make a habit of slipping off your diet, training or cardio schedule and then put yourself into the situation where you have to try dangerous techniques to 'catch up'. there is no glory in dying on a high school gym floor because you were trying to win a $10 trophy.
and finally, for most the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is a pro-card. well the 'pro' in pro-card is an abbreviation of the word professional
suffice it to say i've seen a lot of athletes, those who already have pro-cards and those still in pursuit of one who have failed to exhibit professional behaviour.
you don't turn the bodybuilding stage into an episode of 'girls gone wild - spring break'. if you are beaten by another competitor, learn to suck it up and lose with grace... allow yourself to be disappointed, but take that disappointment and use it to fuel your next trip to the stage... next time come more prepared. i'm not saying this sport is not without politics and i'm not saying that it is alway fair... but what i am saying is we all need to take responsibility for the times when we step on stage and we were not prepared.
/rant
have a great day.
the week immediatly following my show was the natural canadians or the world qualifier as its officially known. and just this past weekend we had the OPA provincials (the untested tier). in the past few weeks i've really had the opportunity to observe the behaviour of other competitors. this observation has helped me to further learn the type of athlete i wish to be and be known as.
first of all allow me to state the obvious... we all want to win. any athlete who tells you they don't want to win is either a dayumm liar, or not much of an athlete. however, there is a difference between wanting to win and some of the sh!t i've been seeing lately. in any sport there are things that improve your chances for success on the playing field, in bodybuilding some of those things are; diet (you have to STAY on one and stay true to your diet), cardio (see diet), training (see diet) and sleep.
i almost seems like some athletes feel they are owed wins, wether they have done all of the work or not. you are also not owed a win if you are bigger than your opponent, especially if you are bigger because your bodyfat percentage is higher. our sport is judged on symmetry, size and conditioning. sometimes people seem to forget about that final requirement.
you should be judged on how you show up THAT day, and as an athlete you should go into the show knowing that. you can't expect the judges to score you higher because you've been in better shape in the past and they 'know' you can do it again. show them you can do it again by showing up in shape!!!
don't make a habit of slipping off your diet, training or cardio schedule and then put yourself into the situation where you have to try dangerous techniques to 'catch up'. there is no glory in dying on a high school gym floor because you were trying to win a $10 trophy.
and finally, for most the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is a pro-card. well the 'pro' in pro-card is an abbreviation of the word professional
pro·fes·sion·al (pro-fěsh'i-nul)
- Of, relating to, engaged in, or suitable for a profession: lawyers, doctors, and other professional people.
- Conforming to the standards of a profession: professional behavior.
- Engaging in a given activity as a source of livelihood or as a career: a professional writer.
- Performed by persons receiving pay: professional football.
Having or showing great skill; expert: a professional repair job.
suffice it to say i've seen a lot of athletes, those who already have pro-cards and those still in pursuit of one who have failed to exhibit professional behaviour.
you don't turn the bodybuilding stage into an episode of 'girls gone wild - spring break'. if you are beaten by another competitor, learn to suck it up and lose with grace... allow yourself to be disappointed, but take that disappointment and use it to fuel your next trip to the stage... next time come more prepared. i'm not saying this sport is not without politics and i'm not saying that it is alway fair... but what i am saying is we all need to take responsibility for the times when we step on stage and we were not prepared.
/rant
have a great day.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
no, the the victor goes...
so there i am at work and my father calls. he wants to know if i am expecting a package. well i was... could they have shipped my overall trophy already?? then he said something about it came from speedracer. well that's not the OPA and it took me a second or two to realize what was going on.
my buddy speed racer sent me a congratulatory bouquet of 'flowers'. here is how they looked and of course since i am back eating clean... i had to put the 'roses' in the refrigerator for safe keeping. since i am allowed one meal per week that isn't clean i am guessing these 'roses' will last about 6 weeks.
i have said it before i will say it again... i have the BEST friends!!!
my buddy speed racer sent me a congratulatory bouquet of 'flowers'. here is how they looked and of course since i am back eating clean... i had to put the 'roses' in the refrigerator for safe keeping. since i am allowed one meal per week that isn't clean i am guessing these 'roses' will last about 6 weeks.
i have said it before i will say it again... i have the BEST friends!!!
Monday, June 11, 2007
and to the victor goes...
the 3 cheese bison burger, sweet potato fries and heidi's mile high chocolate cake!!!
this will be a short and sweet blog entry. you might be interested to know that i weighed in at 134.4lbs. there were 6 of us in the heavyweight class and i won. and i won the overall. that alone is a lot for me to wrap my head around... but there is more. i am now qualified, i guess beyond a shadow of a doubt to compete at the national level.
that's where i am i right now. trying to absorb the fact that after 2 years of competition and only 2 shows i now have the right to compete at the natural nationals. i don't know... somehow it almost doesn't seem real?? it feels somehow like it should have taken longer???
anyway the letter of resignation is complete and sitting on the desk in front of me.
shots taken before prejudging at the hotel
Friday, June 08, 2007
the end of the road...
i am sitting here in my room waiting to eat before i head out on the road. that's right today is the day i drive up to the contest. i weighed myself at 135 this a.m. i still have a day of water drop and other activity before weigh-in's tonight. either way i will definately be a heavyweight... which was the plan.
on sec... the microwave beckons.
so what can i say that hasn't already been said? i am coming to the end of 26 weeks of dieting... dieting without cheats or treats. i think throughout that 26 week run i had two 'sick' days where i was unable to complete my training. but otherwise i have done the dayum thing. i look, in my humble opinion and the opinion of others who were along for the ride last year, much improved. my coach went as far as to say that i look this year like a completely different person.
which brings me to my next point. i AM a completely different person. well in the sense that i have grown alot this prep and i have learned alot about myself. first of all i am stronger than i knew. the diligence to the diet, all that fawkin cardio, and this last week without benefit of sweetener. okay the sweetener thing is huge. i have a sweet tooth... nah fawk it all of em are sweet. i am so very proud of the fact that in order to get what i want i was able to forego sweetener in my coffee, tea and oatmeal. i went without sugarless gum and i did not drink any crystal light or diet sodas. i realize now... within reason there is nothing i can't do. which is giving me the courage to do something else.
i am going into work on monday after the show and i am giving my 2 weeks notice. my current job in advertising enables me to enjoy some economic freedoms but it does nothing for my soul. due to the nature of the 'business' as they like to call it, (fyi you can even hear the fawker pronounce it with the quotes around the word), i am unable to really train clients. training clients at the gym provides me with much needed balance. regardless of how much i might b*tch about unfocused clients... there is a part of me that very much enjoys helping people or fixing things. that part of me is never satisfied with just making money. i guess my displeasure at my situation is part and parcel of why i find myself so depressed at work and so disgusted with my co-workers. i realize now more than ever that i do not fit in there.
so the plan is to go back into freelance computer graphics. i have contacted my agency of preference already and put out a few feelers to some friends. im really going to try to stay closer to home as well. a 9-5 existance will work well with training clients before and after work and more importantly will keep my own training on schedule!!!
the risk is... it generally takes 8 weeks before the cheques start rolling in from the freelance agency. the smart thing to do would be to stay at my current job and bankroll some cash and then make my move (fyi, show prep financially wipes ya out), but staying would surely have me kill somebody... i kid... maybe.
besides if this show prep has taught me nothing it has taught me that i am a survivor. i can and i WILL rise to any challenge.
ok time to hit the road. sometime saturday evening this journey will all be over.
i can honestly say i look forward to my next challenge.
thanks to those of you... who've been following along. i appreciate the support, perhaps more than i could ever express.
cheers
on sec... the microwave beckons.
so what can i say that hasn't already been said? i am coming to the end of 26 weeks of dieting... dieting without cheats or treats. i think throughout that 26 week run i had two 'sick' days where i was unable to complete my training. but otherwise i have done the dayum thing. i look, in my humble opinion and the opinion of others who were along for the ride last year, much improved. my coach went as far as to say that i look this year like a completely different person.
which brings me to my next point. i AM a completely different person. well in the sense that i have grown alot this prep and i have learned alot about myself. first of all i am stronger than i knew. the diligence to the diet, all that fawkin cardio, and this last week without benefit of sweetener. okay the sweetener thing is huge. i have a sweet tooth... nah fawk it all of em are sweet. i am so very proud of the fact that in order to get what i want i was able to forego sweetener in my coffee, tea and oatmeal. i went without sugarless gum and i did not drink any crystal light or diet sodas. i realize now... within reason there is nothing i can't do. which is giving me the courage to do something else.
i am going into work on monday after the show and i am giving my 2 weeks notice. my current job in advertising enables me to enjoy some economic freedoms but it does nothing for my soul. due to the nature of the 'business' as they like to call it, (fyi you can even hear the fawker pronounce it with the quotes around the word), i am unable to really train clients. training clients at the gym provides me with much needed balance. regardless of how much i might b*tch about unfocused clients... there is a part of me that very much enjoys helping people or fixing things. that part of me is never satisfied with just making money. i guess my displeasure at my situation is part and parcel of why i find myself so depressed at work and so disgusted with my co-workers. i realize now more than ever that i do not fit in there.
so the plan is to go back into freelance computer graphics. i have contacted my agency of preference already and put out a few feelers to some friends. im really going to try to stay closer to home as well. a 9-5 existance will work well with training clients before and after work and more importantly will keep my own training on schedule!!!
the risk is... it generally takes 8 weeks before the cheques start rolling in from the freelance agency. the smart thing to do would be to stay at my current job and bankroll some cash and then make my move (fyi, show prep financially wipes ya out), but staying would surely have me kill somebody... i kid... maybe.
besides if this show prep has taught me nothing it has taught me that i am a survivor. i can and i WILL rise to any challenge.
ok time to hit the road. sometime saturday evening this journey will all be over.
i can honestly say i look forward to my next challenge.
thanks to those of you... who've been following along. i appreciate the support, perhaps more than i could ever express.
cheers
Thursday, May 31, 2007
i am not dead!!!
forgive me friends i realize now it has been quite some time since i last posted any updates, thoughts or what have you. if it wasn't for dannie sending me some offline 'are you alive messages' there would likely still not be any new posting.
first of all i have a few friends who are causing me some worry lately. i had a friend 'crash' at a bodybuilding show last weekend and i took it upon myself to race to the drugstore for the help she needed. i've had a friend recently text me that he and his lady were breaking up. a bad situation, don't get me wrong by my friends level of depression and how he chooses to express it have always been of concern to me. thus the day without 'contact' was unnerving for me to say the least. and finally my friend with the serious health issue is having more than her share of challenges bouncing back this time. there are frequent periods of days on end without updates. i try not to worry... i don't always succeed.
we are however in the last 9 days of stage prep. 'we' being myself, my coach and george my diet guy are all quite pleased with where i am sitting at this point of the prep. i am about a 1lb heavier than at this point last prep, yet a 1% point leaner in bf. small changes on paper but the difference in physique is remarkable. i have managed to lose in 25 weeks of crystal clean eating 35lbs. i hope to still lose a smidge more before we cut my water next week.
i need to get my azz to the gym for a.m cardio. i currently have 6 more days of a.m/p.m cardio... and frankly i can't wait for that to be over.
i leave you with a pic from may 21... enjoy.
first of all i have a few friends who are causing me some worry lately. i had a friend 'crash' at a bodybuilding show last weekend and i took it upon myself to race to the drugstore for the help she needed. i've had a friend recently text me that he and his lady were breaking up. a bad situation, don't get me wrong by my friends level of depression and how he chooses to express it have always been of concern to me. thus the day without 'contact' was unnerving for me to say the least. and finally my friend with the serious health issue is having more than her share of challenges bouncing back this time. there are frequent periods of days on end without updates. i try not to worry... i don't always succeed.
we are however in the last 9 days of stage prep. 'we' being myself, my coach and george my diet guy are all quite pleased with where i am sitting at this point of the prep. i am about a 1lb heavier than at this point last prep, yet a 1% point leaner in bf. small changes on paper but the difference in physique is remarkable. i have managed to lose in 25 weeks of crystal clean eating 35lbs. i hope to still lose a smidge more before we cut my water next week.
i need to get my azz to the gym for a.m cardio. i currently have 6 more days of a.m/p.m cardio... and frankly i can't wait for that to be over.
i leave you with a pic from may 21... enjoy.
Friday, April 20, 2007
the new 'fad' diet
there is a new 'fad' diet out there. the new atkins, the new south beach... its called the 'show prep' diet.
as you probably know i am an active member on a few bodybuilding boards. and by my nature i am a supportive individual who wants to see everyone around her live up to his/her potential and rise to any and all occasions. sounds pretty good right? well maybe not.
you see the bodybuilding forum is home to a few different types of personalities. simply; the fan, the weekend warrior and the competitive athlete. on one of my boards, the environment is very supportive and the competitive athletes are championed by, for the most part, the rest of the board. from time to time a weekend warrior will catch the 'fever' and throw his or her hat into the competitive ring.
well the latest trend has me concerned. concerned because i realize now that my natural inclination is doing people more of a disservice than a service. in the last little while we have had a lot more board members who are in excess of 40lbs overweight throwing their hat into the competitive ring. now allow me to fully qualify the severity of that decision. i am not talking, in most cases, about 40lbs to stage weight... but rather 40lbs above where they SHOULD be starting their contest diet.
these people are trying to lose 60-80 lbs in 20+ weeks. standard show prep is not a healthy way to lose a few pounds. we are talking about, some pretty extreme measures in order to get down to the level of conditioning that competition is about. so we have these people crash dieting and its got to be even more unhealthy for them than it is for the rest of us.
okay im not liking where this sounds like its going. now it sounds like maybe i think i am all of that. don't get me wrong i am not all of that... i know my faults, i am aware of my shortcomings. but im also aware that i am indirectly setting these people up for failure. they, for the most part, emulate the focus and determination of the competitive athlete. which is great... except when it gets them to step on stage when they clearly aren't in contest shape. so far the audiences have been well behaved and forgiving... but we have all been to shows where there are people who heckle... and believe me it isnt pretty.
its not only unfair to the out of shape competitor, who for the most part should be applauded for getting into the best shape of their life. but it is also unfair for the competition who have struggled to come in shredded to the bone. all that hardwork and they have to get compared to someone, who for all intensive purpose, looks as though they did not diet.
now it would appear that some of these people on the board, or this board in particular, respect my opinion. and thus i realize now, i have to be a bit more responsible in my actions. i have to learn how to be supportive of their desires to lose weight... but also how to tactfully steer them away from the stage, when they aren't ready.
of course the other reality is... at this point in my prep. i really should be responsible for no one's actions but my own.
as you probably know i am an active member on a few bodybuilding boards. and by my nature i am a supportive individual who wants to see everyone around her live up to his/her potential and rise to any and all occasions. sounds pretty good right? well maybe not.
you see the bodybuilding forum is home to a few different types of personalities. simply; the fan, the weekend warrior and the competitive athlete. on one of my boards, the environment is very supportive and the competitive athletes are championed by, for the most part, the rest of the board. from time to time a weekend warrior will catch the 'fever' and throw his or her hat into the competitive ring.
well the latest trend has me concerned. concerned because i realize now that my natural inclination is doing people more of a disservice than a service. in the last little while we have had a lot more board members who are in excess of 40lbs overweight throwing their hat into the competitive ring. now allow me to fully qualify the severity of that decision. i am not talking, in most cases, about 40lbs to stage weight... but rather 40lbs above where they SHOULD be starting their contest diet.
these people are trying to lose 60-80 lbs in 20+ weeks. standard show prep is not a healthy way to lose a few pounds. we are talking about, some pretty extreme measures in order to get down to the level of conditioning that competition is about. so we have these people crash dieting and its got to be even more unhealthy for them than it is for the rest of us.
okay im not liking where this sounds like its going. now it sounds like maybe i think i am all of that. don't get me wrong i am not all of that... i know my faults, i am aware of my shortcomings. but im also aware that i am indirectly setting these people up for failure. they, for the most part, emulate the focus and determination of the competitive athlete. which is great... except when it gets them to step on stage when they clearly aren't in contest shape. so far the audiences have been well behaved and forgiving... but we have all been to shows where there are people who heckle... and believe me it isnt pretty.
its not only unfair to the out of shape competitor, who for the most part should be applauded for getting into the best shape of their life. but it is also unfair for the competition who have struggled to come in shredded to the bone. all that hardwork and they have to get compared to someone, who for all intensive purpose, looks as though they did not diet.
now it would appear that some of these people on the board, or this board in particular, respect my opinion. and thus i realize now, i have to be a bit more responsible in my actions. i have to learn how to be supportive of their desires to lose weight... but also how to tactfully steer them away from the stage, when they aren't ready.
of course the other reality is... at this point in my prep. i really should be responsible for no one's actions but my own.
Monday, April 16, 2007
just under 8
yup that's right just under 8 weeks out. sitting at around 16% with best guess a good 12lbs still to go.
the routine production has begun in earnest and already, two weeks in, the music and choreography has changed entirely. i know my coach... he wants this years routine to blow the doors off of what we did last year. and if you know me... you know thats exactly what i want too.
the prep has started to get challenging. my day routinely begins around 5:30 am with a trip to the gym, most days for a.m cardio. unfortunately my day is also routinely ending around 11 pm. i am definately not getting the rest i need. work has been insanely busy and i frequently find myself still at work at 7 pm. i have been cancelling more evening appointments with my clients than i make. i am still getting to the gym to do my workouts but that is also contributing to the late nights.
in order to take my body where it needs to go we are currently running 3 no carb days per week. since i'm frequently asked if that is really no carb or if i get vegetables allow me to address that now. first yes, i do get vegetables however there is a ceiling on the carb intake from those vegetable sources. secondly i would like to know who exactly is out there running a pure protein, no carb diet and what fawkin roto-rooter type laxative program are they running to keep the plumbing moving smoothly????
interestingly enough, my training has not suffered as much as i feared it might with all the no carb days. perhaps its more about my tenacious nature than anything else. i've been having more workouts that end with me feeling completely spent and in desperate need of a power nap in the ladies locker room. but even from last time things are looking better. the hams are coming in nicely, i finally have both sides of the horseshoe on my triceps... and i'm even happy with the definition showing in what little calves i have.
work is a bitter pill and that is a situation that HAS to be addressed as soon as this show is over.
i have so much more i want to share with you. i hope i can find some more time this week to post up. time... its one thing i just can't seem to find enough of. hey isn't that a song lyric??
have the best day you can!!
the routine production has begun in earnest and already, two weeks in, the music and choreography has changed entirely. i know my coach... he wants this years routine to blow the doors off of what we did last year. and if you know me... you know thats exactly what i want too.
the prep has started to get challenging. my day routinely begins around 5:30 am with a trip to the gym, most days for a.m cardio. unfortunately my day is also routinely ending around 11 pm. i am definately not getting the rest i need. work has been insanely busy and i frequently find myself still at work at 7 pm. i have been cancelling more evening appointments with my clients than i make. i am still getting to the gym to do my workouts but that is also contributing to the late nights.
in order to take my body where it needs to go we are currently running 3 no carb days per week. since i'm frequently asked if that is really no carb or if i get vegetables allow me to address that now. first yes, i do get vegetables however there is a ceiling on the carb intake from those vegetable sources. secondly i would like to know who exactly is out there running a pure protein, no carb diet and what fawkin roto-rooter type laxative program are they running to keep the plumbing moving smoothly????
interestingly enough, my training has not suffered as much as i feared it might with all the no carb days. perhaps its more about my tenacious nature than anything else. i've been having more workouts that end with me feeling completely spent and in desperate need of a power nap in the ladies locker room. but even from last time things are looking better. the hams are coming in nicely, i finally have both sides of the horseshoe on my triceps... and i'm even happy with the definition showing in what little calves i have.
work is a bitter pill and that is a situation that HAS to be addressed as soon as this show is over.
i have so much more i want to share with you. i hope i can find some more time this week to post up. time... its one thing i just can't seem to find enough of. hey isn't that a song lyric??
have the best day you can!!
Monday, April 02, 2007
in the land of a.m cardi-uggggh
a scant 10 weeks out. starting to feel the effects of 16 weeks of dieting. tired, cranky, weak and easily irritated. a virtual pleasure to be around.
i have an appointment on wednesday with my diet guy to make the next series of changes to take us in the final approach. currently sitting at 151lbs and 3 weeks ago i was 19% at 155. best guess i am currently in the neighbourhood of 17%. the mirror is starting to be my friend.
a couple of pics for your viewing pleasure. the first march 11 at 155lbs and the second march 25 at 152lbs.
sorry to have been such a stranger.
i have an appointment on wednesday with my diet guy to make the next series of changes to take us in the final approach. currently sitting at 151lbs and 3 weeks ago i was 19% at 155. best guess i am currently in the neighbourhood of 17%. the mirror is starting to be my friend.
a couple of pics for your viewing pleasure. the first march 11 at 155lbs and the second march 25 at 152lbs.
sorry to have been such a stranger.
Friday, March 16, 2007
after the arnie... the ohio wrap up
it was the best of times... it was the worst of times.
as you know i am dieting. thus i had to put a lot more thought into this trip than the miami one. for example i had to pack food, enough food that would take me from my house to the hotel room in columbus. i calculated that i would require 3 meals (9:30, 12:00, & 2:30), since my flight to columbus would arrive at 1:45 and army's would arrive at 3pm i should be able to get my 5:00 meal in perhaps a tad late but not by much. or at least that was my plan.
the flight out of toronto to pittsburgh was uneventful and on time. i was sitting at the departure gate in pittsburgh waiting on my connection to columbus when they announced my flights cancellation. i was put on the next available flight to columbus departing at 5:30 pm!!! i was also given a $5 voucher for a meal.
well the rental car was reserved under my credit card as was the hotel room. i also was the only one of us travelling with the directions to our hotel. i called army and told her what had happened. i gave her the rental car confirmation number and luckily she was able to pick up the car. she spent the afternoon with her coach... a man i like to call happy jack. little did i know this was going to be a constant throughout the weekend.
well the first challenge proved to be figuring out what to eat at the airport at 5:00 pm that would keep me on track and also not screw with the water drop that i had done to prepare for my photoshoot. the shoot!! dayumm that was supposed to be either thursday night when i got in or early friday a.m.
when i got into columbus it was 7 pm the flight out of pittsburgh was still delayed as they had to change the tire on the plane. part of me would have liked to have seen how they jack up a plane... and exactly where do you keep the spare? we got to the hotel to find out that they released all the double occupancy rooms. since we had a valid confirmation they gave us two single rooms for the price of a shared double. from there we went to the grocery store and bought our staples for the weekend. then since we still had happy jack with us, we had to take him back to his hotel room and then return to our own. it was 10 pm when we got back to the rooms and army headed straight to her room and to her bed. again what would prove to be a constant throughout the weekend.
i was up until sometime after midnight cooking enough food and portioning out what i needed to take me through the weekend. i also connected with the photographer. he offered me a 9:30 am shoot but army needed to take happy jack to the expo for 9 am. i have heard over the years that it's imperative that an athlete not go to a shoot alone. since army was going to be squiring happy jack around we needed a plan c. for the photoshoot.
plan c was iffy at best. the photographer is a diabetic and has been having a difficult time of it. he was not sure what time he could get to the expo and he was not sure how long he would feel well enough to stay there. when he was on his way over to the expo he was to call me and we would meet up and do the shoot somewhere on the expo grounds. now originally this shoot was supposed to take place somewhere a bit more scenic than between the booths at the expo and i had purchased an outfit with which to wear during the shoot. nothing crazy... he wanted me to wear something like 'i would wear in the gym'. knowing that he couldn't possibly mean what i wear to the gym i went out and got something lycra based. long story short... he never made it to the expo.
army and i left the expo early, we went to world's gym to train. we needed to get our 'swole on' before going to the women's final. we were able to buy a weekend pass and we took advantage of that... we then proceeded to train. army sure was different this time. in miami she kept wanting to do more and more exercises, however in ohio she couldn't seem to get out of the gym fast enough. i was barely able to fit in all that i needed to do (chest, abs and cardio).
traffic was a bit chaotic and we were a little late getting to the venue. army stopped to talk to IFBB pro vicki nixon, who frequents a couple of the boards we are on. the show started and we missed the first two fitness routines... one of which was jen henderschott. you NEVER want to miss jen henderschott perform and i definately should not have missed this one. turns out she was retiring from competition and this was her final performance.
so after the show we head back to the hotel. i'm amped and ready to go. army however is not... so she burrows into her room and calls it a night. hmmfffk
saturday morning i took the car and went to the gym by myself. i had tickets to the men's final but army wasn't interested in the men. she had planned to train at the gym saturday evening with happy jack. i had one of the best workouts all weekend at the gym. maybe it was because i was by myself and i could train without the impatient, unfocused sidekick. or maybe it was because i met a couple of the fbb's who were training there. i met a really nice woman from wisconsin. there was this huge fbb and she looked really familiar to me. as we passed a couple times she smiled and said hi. eventually my curiousity got the better of me, i waited till she was between exercises and i approached her. turns out she was the same fbb who met and befriended my ex-training partner when she was at world's last year. christina and i had a nice chat and i've talked to her, via the internet, quite a few times since then.
met army back at the hotel, i quickly got cleaned up and then we headed over to the expo. it was a little disappointing army didn't want to get too far away from happy jack and the truth is... he just wasn't that big of a draw to me. i would rather have spent more time exploring the booths and seeing what could be seen. sure it was crowded as fawk but that is kind of part of the fun of the arnold. i got a hold of the photographer and army and i went over to where he was set up in a nearby atrium. it was a pretty quick shoot and i have yet to see any of the pics from it. afterwards army got something to eat and then we headed back to the expo. as we got closer to the booth we ran into happy jack who was going for a walk. army dumped me like a hot potato and toddled after him. i went back to the booth, grabbed my belongings and went outside to flag a cab back to the hotel.
$25 bucks later i was back at my hotel. i had asked the cabbie as i didn't know the city like he did, when would be a good time to call a cab to get me to the finals on time. he told me that 6:30 would be plenty of time. i got cleaned up... fawk that i was dressed to the nines. i started calling the cab company at 6:25 and i could not get an answer. i went out to the front desk to see if i could get some other numbers to try. i got through at 6:35 and the dispatcher told me that he could have a cab at my hotel by 6:55... five minutes before the start of the show!! he then berated me for not calling from 6 pm. well i figured i'd be in my seat sometime between 7:15-7:30... it would be bad but not horrific. however i was still waiting in the lobby at 7:10! the dispatcher claimed that his cab had come, had waited outside and eventually 3 people came out and took off. as i was sitting in the lobby in a chair facing the front door... with a clear view of the driveway i knew this to be bullsh!t. he told me he could have another cab there by 7:30. that would have me in my seat by 8:00 and i would have missed all of the final routines... the best part! i cancelled the cab and went back to my room clutching my $75 ticket.
i started calling army to let her know i didnt get to the show and i was waiting at the hotel room. the plan was to go to the after party after i got back from the night show. there was no answer on her phone. maybe she was still training with happy jack? i called every 15 mins or so until 10 pm when she finally answered. she was outside the hotel. apparently she had left her cell in the rental car and after training with happy jack they went out for dinner. army announced that both she and happy jack were tired and not going to the after party. fawk!! further she went on to say that she was not interested in going to the gym sunday a.m before flying out. fawk x 2!!!
i went back to my room, changed and started cooking the food i needed to eat sunday. the longer i spent in my room the more annoyed i got and the more i fumed. i decided two things. 1. i was definately going to the gym to train... i was NOT wasting any more money. 2. i was NEVER going to another competition with army. i like her, don't get me wrong. i know most of what happened was not her fault but i didn't want to spend all that money to go to ohio to spend it home alone. i can do that cheap here!!!
sunday morning i told her i was going to the gym. she said she would go too as natty from the boards was coming down and wanted to train with us. we got to the gym and there was a photoshoot going on with IFBB pro's dexter jackson and gustavo badell. you could still train they just had the middle area of the gym somewhat cordoned off. we decided to train shoulders as thats what i needed to do. army wanted to make a big production out of planning what we were going to do. i told her that first i needed to warm up and i proceeded to do so. next thing i know the two of them are on the other side of the gym in a squat rack. fine, i had work to do and i was still in a funky mood. it wasn't 30 mins later when the two of them were back at my side. they were done!!! i still had arms to train. and then happy jack started callin... he was in a mood and wanted army to pick him up and take him to the airport. so without benefit of a shower or anything we were off to pick up happy jack.
the flight back to toronto went smoothly since i didnt leave ohio until almost 3pm i was afforded lots of time to think about the weekend. the hotel was $50/night, it had a kitchenette, a 24 hour grocery within walking distance and was 15 mins via highway from the venue. the rental car was $60 for the weekend. and finally ive been to the arnold 3 years running. i know a lot of people off of the boards and seem to make friends when i am there. do i actually need to go with anyone??? i think not!!!
as you know i am dieting. thus i had to put a lot more thought into this trip than the miami one. for example i had to pack food, enough food that would take me from my house to the hotel room in columbus. i calculated that i would require 3 meals (9:30, 12:00, & 2:30), since my flight to columbus would arrive at 1:45 and army's would arrive at 3pm i should be able to get my 5:00 meal in perhaps a tad late but not by much. or at least that was my plan.
the flight out of toronto to pittsburgh was uneventful and on time. i was sitting at the departure gate in pittsburgh waiting on my connection to columbus when they announced my flights cancellation. i was put on the next available flight to columbus departing at 5:30 pm!!! i was also given a $5 voucher for a meal.
well the rental car was reserved under my credit card as was the hotel room. i also was the only one of us travelling with the directions to our hotel. i called army and told her what had happened. i gave her the rental car confirmation number and luckily she was able to pick up the car. she spent the afternoon with her coach... a man i like to call happy jack. little did i know this was going to be a constant throughout the weekend.
well the first challenge proved to be figuring out what to eat at the airport at 5:00 pm that would keep me on track and also not screw with the water drop that i had done to prepare for my photoshoot. the shoot!! dayumm that was supposed to be either thursday night when i got in or early friday a.m.
when i got into columbus it was 7 pm the flight out of pittsburgh was still delayed as they had to change the tire on the plane. part of me would have liked to have seen how they jack up a plane... and exactly where do you keep the spare? we got to the hotel to find out that they released all the double occupancy rooms. since we had a valid confirmation they gave us two single rooms for the price of a shared double. from there we went to the grocery store and bought our staples for the weekend. then since we still had happy jack with us, we had to take him back to his hotel room and then return to our own. it was 10 pm when we got back to the rooms and army headed straight to her room and to her bed. again what would prove to be a constant throughout the weekend.
i was up until sometime after midnight cooking enough food and portioning out what i needed to take me through the weekend. i also connected with the photographer. he offered me a 9:30 am shoot but army needed to take happy jack to the expo for 9 am. i have heard over the years that it's imperative that an athlete not go to a shoot alone. since army was going to be squiring happy jack around we needed a plan c. for the photoshoot.
plan c was iffy at best. the photographer is a diabetic and has been having a difficult time of it. he was not sure what time he could get to the expo and he was not sure how long he would feel well enough to stay there. when he was on his way over to the expo he was to call me and we would meet up and do the shoot somewhere on the expo grounds. now originally this shoot was supposed to take place somewhere a bit more scenic than between the booths at the expo and i had purchased an outfit with which to wear during the shoot. nothing crazy... he wanted me to wear something like 'i would wear in the gym'. knowing that he couldn't possibly mean what i wear to the gym i went out and got something lycra based. long story short... he never made it to the expo.
army and i left the expo early, we went to world's gym to train. we needed to get our 'swole on' before going to the women's final. we were able to buy a weekend pass and we took advantage of that... we then proceeded to train. army sure was different this time. in miami she kept wanting to do more and more exercises, however in ohio she couldn't seem to get out of the gym fast enough. i was barely able to fit in all that i needed to do (chest, abs and cardio).
traffic was a bit chaotic and we were a little late getting to the venue. army stopped to talk to IFBB pro vicki nixon, who frequents a couple of the boards we are on. the show started and we missed the first two fitness routines... one of which was jen henderschott. you NEVER want to miss jen henderschott perform and i definately should not have missed this one. turns out she was retiring from competition and this was her final performance.
so after the show we head back to the hotel. i'm amped and ready to go. army however is not... so she burrows into her room and calls it a night. hmmfffk
saturday morning i took the car and went to the gym by myself. i had tickets to the men's final but army wasn't interested in the men. she had planned to train at the gym saturday evening with happy jack. i had one of the best workouts all weekend at the gym. maybe it was because i was by myself and i could train without the impatient, unfocused sidekick. or maybe it was because i met a couple of the fbb's who were training there. i met a really nice woman from wisconsin. there was this huge fbb and she looked really familiar to me. as we passed a couple times she smiled and said hi. eventually my curiousity got the better of me, i waited till she was between exercises and i approached her. turns out she was the same fbb who met and befriended my ex-training partner when she was at world's last year. christina and i had a nice chat and i've talked to her, via the internet, quite a few times since then.
met army back at the hotel, i quickly got cleaned up and then we headed over to the expo. it was a little disappointing army didn't want to get too far away from happy jack and the truth is... he just wasn't that big of a draw to me. i would rather have spent more time exploring the booths and seeing what could be seen. sure it was crowded as fawk but that is kind of part of the fun of the arnold. i got a hold of the photographer and army and i went over to where he was set up in a nearby atrium. it was a pretty quick shoot and i have yet to see any of the pics from it. afterwards army got something to eat and then we headed back to the expo. as we got closer to the booth we ran into happy jack who was going for a walk. army dumped me like a hot potato and toddled after him. i went back to the booth, grabbed my belongings and went outside to flag a cab back to the hotel.
$25 bucks later i was back at my hotel. i had asked the cabbie as i didn't know the city like he did, when would be a good time to call a cab to get me to the finals on time. he told me that 6:30 would be plenty of time. i got cleaned up... fawk that i was dressed to the nines. i started calling the cab company at 6:25 and i could not get an answer. i went out to the front desk to see if i could get some other numbers to try. i got through at 6:35 and the dispatcher told me that he could have a cab at my hotel by 6:55... five minutes before the start of the show!! he then berated me for not calling from 6 pm. well i figured i'd be in my seat sometime between 7:15-7:30... it would be bad but not horrific. however i was still waiting in the lobby at 7:10! the dispatcher claimed that his cab had come, had waited outside and eventually 3 people came out and took off. as i was sitting in the lobby in a chair facing the front door... with a clear view of the driveway i knew this to be bullsh!t. he told me he could have another cab there by 7:30. that would have me in my seat by 8:00 and i would have missed all of the final routines... the best part! i cancelled the cab and went back to my room clutching my $75 ticket.
i started calling army to let her know i didnt get to the show and i was waiting at the hotel room. the plan was to go to the after party after i got back from the night show. there was no answer on her phone. maybe she was still training with happy jack? i called every 15 mins or so until 10 pm when she finally answered. she was outside the hotel. apparently she had left her cell in the rental car and after training with happy jack they went out for dinner. army announced that both she and happy jack were tired and not going to the after party. fawk!! further she went on to say that she was not interested in going to the gym sunday a.m before flying out. fawk x 2!!!
i went back to my room, changed and started cooking the food i needed to eat sunday. the longer i spent in my room the more annoyed i got and the more i fumed. i decided two things. 1. i was definately going to the gym to train... i was NOT wasting any more money. 2. i was NEVER going to another competition with army. i like her, don't get me wrong. i know most of what happened was not her fault but i didn't want to spend all that money to go to ohio to spend it home alone. i can do that cheap here!!!
sunday morning i told her i was going to the gym. she said she would go too as natty from the boards was coming down and wanted to train with us. we got to the gym and there was a photoshoot going on with IFBB pro's dexter jackson and gustavo badell. you could still train they just had the middle area of the gym somewhat cordoned off. we decided to train shoulders as thats what i needed to do. army wanted to make a big production out of planning what we were going to do. i told her that first i needed to warm up and i proceeded to do so. next thing i know the two of them are on the other side of the gym in a squat rack. fine, i had work to do and i was still in a funky mood. it wasn't 30 mins later when the two of them were back at my side. they were done!!! i still had arms to train. and then happy jack started callin... he was in a mood and wanted army to pick him up and take him to the airport. so without benefit of a shower or anything we were off to pick up happy jack.
the flight back to toronto went smoothly since i didnt leave ohio until almost 3pm i was afforded lots of time to think about the weekend. the hotel was $50/night, it had a kitchenette, a 24 hour grocery within walking distance and was 15 mins via highway from the venue. the rental car was $60 for the weekend. and finally ive been to the arnold 3 years running. i know a lot of people off of the boards and seem to make friends when i am there. do i actually need to go with anyone??? i think not!!!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
"isn't it ironic... don'tcha think?'
this past weekend was my annual trip to ohio for the arnold classic. and while i had high hopes for it to be the adventure of all adventures i was sorely disappointed. unlike previous trips there were no 'fights, arguments, mis-understandings and/or hurt feelings'. but unfortunatley there wasn't the high level of fun and frivolity that i was counting on either. i was a bit disappointed about that but what i heard this morning help put sh!t all in perspective for me.
i heard that dayumm sentence again. i didn't want to hear it the first time and i definately didn't want to hear it the second time. after so many years of a clean bill of health i guess i thought my friend was out of the woods. today i heard... not so much.
i find it oddly ironic that i spent this past weekend with people who have happily ingested and inserted the very chemical that my friend has to take. however my friend is not happy about it... in fact my friend abhors this drug but knows that it's necessary to help in this fight. those same people load there bodies as well with anti estrogen's to help fight the side effects of the drug. as well, in the case of most if not all of the females they take it to supress their bodies natural secondary female characteristics. in the quest for bigger growth and leaner bodies. my friend is taking the anti estrogens as well... but actually for the reason that the drug was intended... to help the body in this fight.
now those drugs don't easily go into the body. in fact our bodies are machines that seem to perform best... in most cases when left to it's own devices. we have bodybuilders both professional and amateur getting sick and dropping dead from years of abuse. in fact i know of a bodybuilder who hasn't been in the game that long... but due to health issue present before the drug use and subsequent abuse could verily well drop dead long before reaching their goal.
friends trying to stay healthy, friends who don't care if they die. it's truly ironic. i understand the concept of doing whatever it takes to live your dreams. but if your life is not precious to you, what of the people you leave behind? the other part thats kind of hard to grasp... is what about people like my friend who KNOW how precious life really is?
i still love bodybuilding. i still understand why the drugs are in the sport. i still admire many of the bodies that are not natural. i am glad that we have the medical knowledge to use these drugs to help people, like my friend, get healthy again. i am relieved that the condition was caught early. i am continually amazed by the fortitude and strength that my friend has. you can't help but admire someone who never takes that 'why me' approach but rather just says 'ok, how do we fix this'.
without a doubt... the biggest, strongest person i know... is not a bodybuilder!!
i heard that dayumm sentence again. i didn't want to hear it the first time and i definately didn't want to hear it the second time. after so many years of a clean bill of health i guess i thought my friend was out of the woods. today i heard... not so much.
i find it oddly ironic that i spent this past weekend with people who have happily ingested and inserted the very chemical that my friend has to take. however my friend is not happy about it... in fact my friend abhors this drug but knows that it's necessary to help in this fight. those same people load there bodies as well with anti estrogen's to help fight the side effects of the drug. as well, in the case of most if not all of the females they take it to supress their bodies natural secondary female characteristics. in the quest for bigger growth and leaner bodies. my friend is taking the anti estrogens as well... but actually for the reason that the drug was intended... to help the body in this fight.
now those drugs don't easily go into the body. in fact our bodies are machines that seem to perform best... in most cases when left to it's own devices. we have bodybuilders both professional and amateur getting sick and dropping dead from years of abuse. in fact i know of a bodybuilder who hasn't been in the game that long... but due to health issue present before the drug use and subsequent abuse could verily well drop dead long before reaching their goal.
friends trying to stay healthy, friends who don't care if they die. it's truly ironic. i understand the concept of doing whatever it takes to live your dreams. but if your life is not precious to you, what of the people you leave behind? the other part thats kind of hard to grasp... is what about people like my friend who KNOW how precious life really is?
i still love bodybuilding. i still understand why the drugs are in the sport. i still admire many of the bodies that are not natural. i am glad that we have the medical knowledge to use these drugs to help people, like my friend, get healthy again. i am relieved that the condition was caught early. i am continually amazed by the fortitude and strength that my friend has. you can't help but admire someone who never takes that 'why me' approach but rather just says 'ok, how do we fix this'.
without a doubt... the biggest, strongest person i know... is not a bodybuilder!!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
ohio bound!!!!!
tomorrow is the day!! i leave to go to columbus for the arnold classic. the ASC is one of the premiere bb events on the schedule. its a fitness weekend that i really dont have the words to describe. i mean it started with the bb show but its way more than that now. there are martial arts, mma competitions and demonstrations. gymnastics, cheerleading, figure skating, arm wrestling, olympic lifting, power lifting... the list goes on and on.
in classic miche style there is still lots to do and of course i am running short on time. but i guess i can always sleep on the plane. LOL
i ran into army last night on line. im not sure which of the two of us is more excited. but its really going to be a good trip this year... i can just feel it. the advantage this time, over the trip to miami, is that we are no longer strangers so i think thats going to make this adventure even better. as well from the posts that she has been writing on the boards, she expects that we will be hanging together for the balance of the weekend. a stark contrast to last year.
so how am i looking? well i'm pretty pleased with how things stand. i'm fairly confident i could take pics in a cropped top and not look like the michelin man. granted i dont have hard granite abs but it's not bad for an offseason look. my best ab look i think ever. and to think i still have a good 20+ lbs to lose.
i took progress pics on the weekend and they are by far my best pics since i started this diet. finally i can truly see that i am on track. in fact i even crawled back into the posing suit. if i get a chance (sorry had to stop to laugh hysterically for a minute), i'll post up the new pics.
in classic miche style there is still lots to do and of course i am running short on time. but i guess i can always sleep on the plane. LOL
i ran into army last night on line. im not sure which of the two of us is more excited. but its really going to be a good trip this year... i can just feel it. the advantage this time, over the trip to miami, is that we are no longer strangers so i think thats going to make this adventure even better. as well from the posts that she has been writing on the boards, she expects that we will be hanging together for the balance of the weekend. a stark contrast to last year.
so how am i looking? well i'm pretty pleased with how things stand. i'm fairly confident i could take pics in a cropped top and not look like the michelin man. granted i dont have hard granite abs but it's not bad for an offseason look. my best ab look i think ever. and to think i still have a good 20+ lbs to lose.
i took progress pics on the weekend and they are by far my best pics since i started this diet. finally i can truly see that i am on track. in fact i even crawled back into the posing suit. if i get a chance (sorry had to stop to laugh hysterically for a minute), i'll post up the new pics.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
the continuation...
i had a lot on my mind, but not a lot of time. so this is the continuation of my last entry:
we are a little over a week away from the arnold. my other friend army, who coincidentaly is in the army, and on her way back from a month long posting in japan. we are both very excited about hanging out again in ohio. army and tg are dieting for the same show again this year and they both would like me to be there. but for many reasons that's not in the cards. i've been racking my brain for a present for army. just want her to have something from me that says even though i can't be there i'm behind you... get 'er done. thats the message i get from the t-shirt tg sent me and the message i hope she got from the slippers i sent her.
well army is not the 'fun slippers' type. but she does love to train in a ball cap. i've been seeing that roots 'canada' ball cap and i've decided to pick one up and give it to her in ohio. if she trains in it, it will be like i'm there reminding her that any unscheduled stops at the cheesecake counter will get her a miche-sized azz kickin!! army's more inclined to respond favourably to vinegar that she would with honey. just a part of her charm i guess. LOL.
i've got a shoot scheduled for ohio. nothing crazy big but i still want to look my best. i am desperately trying to shed as much bf as i can before i get down there.
i'll be seeing george tomorrow to see what changes we will make in the diet. the good news is i finally have a date. june 9th has officially been announced as the show date. another promoter had to pick up the ball. they are basically adding the natural event to the card of the untested show they already had scheduled.
the show is going to be in sudbury, which is a 4-5 hour drive. i was concerned that my coach b, might not be able to make it. as a back up i asked speedy bike racer if she could be there. most of the stuff i could probably do on my own, but there is no way i can put the contest colour and pam on myself. it's a great relief to know that she said yes. having her colour me will be weird but will it be any more wierd than last year with b and his lady friend?
cannon was recently back in town. yes, i know people with real names. i like to use nicknames... just because i chose to air my life and thoughts in this forum does not necessarily mean that everyone i know wants to as well.
once upon a time i played football. i don't remember if i ever mentioned that before. when i started playing cannon was a team mate. she eventually moved to the u.s and i don't see her too often. i'm glad that we were able to get caught up over a cup of coffee. i don't fell like i have alot of friends but the one's i have, that have stood the test of time... are special.
speaking of special friends. s-nj dropped me a quick email, monday morning, to tell me that she had injured herself. doing something that she loves, but it's fairly serious and it's definately going to slow her down a bit. she had recently been hitting the gym regularily and was starting to see the kind of changes that truly improve the quality of one's life. not the sh!t i do... but the important stuff. i'm sorry she had a setback. nobody i know bounces back quite like s-nj... but i have to admit this injury has me concerned.
i'm quickly running short of patience these days. it's part of the reason why i finally quit the hip hop class. i just can't find the energy to keep doing something that i suck at, that i don't seem to improve at, or that i still don't even really understand why i was doing it. during last sunday's class i fell behind again and i found i was more irritated than usual, and far more than the situation warranted. rather that put myself in a postion where i might frighten the little dancing girls with a full on miche-tantrum... i'm going to tap out. maybe i will try again... after the show is done.
funny... i sent the instructor an email explaining why i wouldn't be back for a while. i found her response somewhat entertaining. first she feels that i have been 'improving', clearly what she sees in the mirror and what i do are two different things. but the best part was when she told me that she thought i was too hard on myself... oh yeah??? you think??!!!
i'm a competitive personality and an athlete to boot... you bet your lulu lemon coverd azz i'm hard on myself...
it's all a part of my charm :-)
we are a little over a week away from the arnold. my other friend army, who coincidentaly is in the army, and on her way back from a month long posting in japan. we are both very excited about hanging out again in ohio. army and tg are dieting for the same show again this year and they both would like me to be there. but for many reasons that's not in the cards. i've been racking my brain for a present for army. just want her to have something from me that says even though i can't be there i'm behind you... get 'er done. thats the message i get from the t-shirt tg sent me and the message i hope she got from the slippers i sent her.
well army is not the 'fun slippers' type. but she does love to train in a ball cap. i've been seeing that roots 'canada' ball cap and i've decided to pick one up and give it to her in ohio. if she trains in it, it will be like i'm there reminding her that any unscheduled stops at the cheesecake counter will get her a miche-sized azz kickin!! army's more inclined to respond favourably to vinegar that she would with honey. just a part of her charm i guess. LOL.
i've got a shoot scheduled for ohio. nothing crazy big but i still want to look my best. i am desperately trying to shed as much bf as i can before i get down there.
i'll be seeing george tomorrow to see what changes we will make in the diet. the good news is i finally have a date. june 9th has officially been announced as the show date. another promoter had to pick up the ball. they are basically adding the natural event to the card of the untested show they already had scheduled.
the show is going to be in sudbury, which is a 4-5 hour drive. i was concerned that my coach b, might not be able to make it. as a back up i asked speedy bike racer if she could be there. most of the stuff i could probably do on my own, but there is no way i can put the contest colour and pam on myself. it's a great relief to know that she said yes. having her colour me will be weird but will it be any more wierd than last year with b and his lady friend?
cannon was recently back in town. yes, i know people with real names. i like to use nicknames... just because i chose to air my life and thoughts in this forum does not necessarily mean that everyone i know wants to as well.
once upon a time i played football. i don't remember if i ever mentioned that before. when i started playing cannon was a team mate. she eventually moved to the u.s and i don't see her too often. i'm glad that we were able to get caught up over a cup of coffee. i don't fell like i have alot of friends but the one's i have, that have stood the test of time... are special.
speaking of special friends. s-nj dropped me a quick email, monday morning, to tell me that she had injured herself. doing something that she loves, but it's fairly serious and it's definately going to slow her down a bit. she had recently been hitting the gym regularily and was starting to see the kind of changes that truly improve the quality of one's life. not the sh!t i do... but the important stuff. i'm sorry she had a setback. nobody i know bounces back quite like s-nj... but i have to admit this injury has me concerned.
i'm quickly running short of patience these days. it's part of the reason why i finally quit the hip hop class. i just can't find the energy to keep doing something that i suck at, that i don't seem to improve at, or that i still don't even really understand why i was doing it. during last sunday's class i fell behind again and i found i was more irritated than usual, and far more than the situation warranted. rather that put myself in a postion where i might frighten the little dancing girls with a full on miche-tantrum... i'm going to tap out. maybe i will try again... after the show is done.
funny... i sent the instructor an email explaining why i wouldn't be back for a while. i found her response somewhat entertaining. first she feels that i have been 'improving', clearly what she sees in the mirror and what i do are two different things. but the best part was when she told me that she thought i was too hard on myself... oh yeah??? you think??!!!
i'm a competitive personality and an athlete to boot... you bet your lulu lemon coverd azz i'm hard on myself...
it's all a part of my charm :-)
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
what's new?
well i guess the biggest change is in my physique. yeah!! of course changes feel incredibly slow and i'm still way behind where i was last year at this time. i was looking at my pictures from last year recently. i was about 10lbs lighter and showing way more muscular definition.
as you know my friend tg recently sent me a t-shirt. i called her to thank her and i found out that she has been having some issues with her hips. she has been wearing a lift in her shoes to help balance out her hips and reduce her pain. the imbalance of course, has been compounded by the heavy lifting and the hard training involved with our sport.
both tg and i enjoy 'fun slippers' and she hasn't been able to wear hers for some time. she had a backless pair of curious george slippers. she has been told to wear her lift at all times and since the lifts will not stay in without backs... she had to park george.
well i couldn't have my friend going without fun slippers. so i got her a pair that match the dog slippers that i have. she called me on saturday, she got them, she loves them and the can 'slip' around the house with her lifts in.
here is a shot of me coolin' in my pair:
and the latest comparison:
as you know my friend tg recently sent me a t-shirt. i called her to thank her and i found out that she has been having some issues with her hips. she has been wearing a lift in her shoes to help balance out her hips and reduce her pain. the imbalance of course, has been compounded by the heavy lifting and the hard training involved with our sport.
both tg and i enjoy 'fun slippers' and she hasn't been able to wear hers for some time. she had a backless pair of curious george slippers. she has been told to wear her lift at all times and since the lifts will not stay in without backs... she had to park george.
well i couldn't have my friend going without fun slippers. so i got her a pair that match the dog slippers that i have. she called me on saturday, she got them, she loves them and the can 'slip' around the house with her lifts in.
here is a shot of me coolin' in my pair:
and the latest comparison:
Sunday, February 11, 2007
lesson's learned.
this is going to be a long one. i will likely post it in stages.
my friend had been told to take chromium picolinate to help with body fat reduction. since i'm in bb and lean mass is paramount to bb she asked me what i knew about chromium p. i had heard of chromium p but i didn't know anything about it.
a google search told me that it was a natural supplement and it wasn't likely to injure anyone who took it. it was reported to control the bodies insulin response. but here's the kicker... there was no scientific evidence to support the products effectiveness. tests were done and apparently the data was somewhat inconclusive.
the last time i saw george i told him what i had read about chromium p and he explained why the data was inconclusive. chromium p is a valid product that does indeed help control the bodies insulin response PROVIDED the user actually HAS diabetes!! in a diabetic body it controls insulin and that in turn does help some diabetic patients lower their body fat. however if your not diabetic, then there is no need for insulin control.. your bodies is already doing that and subsequently your body fat is not magically lowered.
the same he said, could be said of ALA, alpha lipoic acid. again if you have diabetes it's probably going to work. if you don't it's not. well guess what was on my shelf at home? ALA. why? because i was told to take it to help control my offseason body fat. did i not look up ALA before i bought it? i did. but the only information on it that i could find, that i could understand was that it was not harmful.
i also want to mention another product that was recommended to me. again, i attempted to research it but i was unable to find any more information that i could understand, beyond that it wasn't harmful. i just don't speak medical-ese.
GABA, gamma-aminobutyric acid. because i wasn't sleeping i was told to take GABA. it was supposed to hlep me sleep and have the added benefit of increased growth hormone production. thus i was going to sleep like a baby and i was going to grow bigger muscles. well i can't say that my sleep improved. on nights that i wasn't going to sleep, i still didn't. on nights that i was... well getting up the next morning was a challenge.
when my offseason weight became more of an issue than i could bare, i went to see george. i mentioned taking GABA to help me sleep and he told me something pretty fascinating. GABA, in his opinion, is not the best product to recommend to improve sleep. it's best application is to patients with depressive disorders. it can be very calming and can help those patients sleep. well what about the growth hormone production? as a natty i might be looking at a percentage of a pound of lean muscle growth. however... and this piece of knowledge was huge. GABA can trigger depressive responses in patients who are not depressed!!!!
so likely the GABA was helping me to feel even sh!ttier about my weight issues, upping my cortisol production (one of the stress hormones that hinders fat loss) and possibly even helping me feel the need to binge eat.
so we add that all together with the overindulgent 4000 calorie a day diet and it is really no wonder that i had weight issues.
and who do i think is at fault for all of this? me!!! i went looking for the 'secret' to bb. i was somehow convinced that there was something that i wasn't doing or was doing incorrectly. in 6 years i've added a fairly decent amount of muscle mass to my body. and i managed to do it without getting fat.
i'm not being overly dramatic. i normally offseason at 22-23% bodyfat. which is a decently athletic look, soft enough to encourage muscle gain but with enoght muscular definition to look athletic. this offseason i hit 30%!! which is soft enough to be soft with the muscular definition of a coil of kolbassa!!
as far as i know, i'm currently between weigh-in's, i'm down about 13 lbs. i would guess around 23% and i am now just starting to get compliments. people have noticed the weight loss. my face is leaner, my legs, stomach and arms have all come down. i've lost two inches off my chest and waist and another inch off of my hips.
i'm hoping to be down another 10lbs by ohio. that might be a lofty goal but i might be doing a photoshoot down there and i would prefer to be considerably leaner.
these lessons i won't soon forget.
my friend had been told to take chromium picolinate to help with body fat reduction. since i'm in bb and lean mass is paramount to bb she asked me what i knew about chromium p. i had heard of chromium p but i didn't know anything about it.
a google search told me that it was a natural supplement and it wasn't likely to injure anyone who took it. it was reported to control the bodies insulin response. but here's the kicker... there was no scientific evidence to support the products effectiveness. tests were done and apparently the data was somewhat inconclusive.
the last time i saw george i told him what i had read about chromium p and he explained why the data was inconclusive. chromium p is a valid product that does indeed help control the bodies insulin response PROVIDED the user actually HAS diabetes!! in a diabetic body it controls insulin and that in turn does help some diabetic patients lower their body fat. however if your not diabetic, then there is no need for insulin control.. your bodies is already doing that and subsequently your body fat is not magically lowered.
the same he said, could be said of ALA, alpha lipoic acid. again if you have diabetes it's probably going to work. if you don't it's not. well guess what was on my shelf at home? ALA. why? because i was told to take it to help control my offseason body fat. did i not look up ALA before i bought it? i did. but the only information on it that i could find, that i could understand was that it was not harmful.
i also want to mention another product that was recommended to me. again, i attempted to research it but i was unable to find any more information that i could understand, beyond that it wasn't harmful. i just don't speak medical-ese.
GABA, gamma-aminobutyric acid. because i wasn't sleeping i was told to take GABA. it was supposed to hlep me sleep and have the added benefit of increased growth hormone production. thus i was going to sleep like a baby and i was going to grow bigger muscles. well i can't say that my sleep improved. on nights that i wasn't going to sleep, i still didn't. on nights that i was... well getting up the next morning was a challenge.
when my offseason weight became more of an issue than i could bare, i went to see george. i mentioned taking GABA to help me sleep and he told me something pretty fascinating. GABA, in his opinion, is not the best product to recommend to improve sleep. it's best application is to patients with depressive disorders. it can be very calming and can help those patients sleep. well what about the growth hormone production? as a natty i might be looking at a percentage of a pound of lean muscle growth. however... and this piece of knowledge was huge. GABA can trigger depressive responses in patients who are not depressed!!!!
so likely the GABA was helping me to feel even sh!ttier about my weight issues, upping my cortisol production (one of the stress hormones that hinders fat loss) and possibly even helping me feel the need to binge eat.
so we add that all together with the overindulgent 4000 calorie a day diet and it is really no wonder that i had weight issues.
and who do i think is at fault for all of this? me!!! i went looking for the 'secret' to bb. i was somehow convinced that there was something that i wasn't doing or was doing incorrectly. in 6 years i've added a fairly decent amount of muscle mass to my body. and i managed to do it without getting fat.
i'm not being overly dramatic. i normally offseason at 22-23% bodyfat. which is a decently athletic look, soft enough to encourage muscle gain but with enoght muscular definition to look athletic. this offseason i hit 30%!! which is soft enough to be soft with the muscular definition of a coil of kolbassa!!
as far as i know, i'm currently between weigh-in's, i'm down about 13 lbs. i would guess around 23% and i am now just starting to get compliments. people have noticed the weight loss. my face is leaner, my legs, stomach and arms have all come down. i've lost two inches off my chest and waist and another inch off of my hips.
i'm hoping to be down another 10lbs by ohio. that might be a lofty goal but i might be doing a photoshoot down there and i would prefer to be considerably leaner.
these lessons i won't soon forget.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
uggghh
last week wednesday i had a follow up appointment with george. he was happy with the rate of which i'm dropping the weight and he was hesitant to make any more changes at this time.
the downside was missing my regular wednesday night workout had me training 5 days in a row to get back on schedule. well monday was the 5th day and i have to tell you it was a battle of wills. on the drive to the gym i was yawning, not a good sign. i managed to get through the workout ok, but i really didn't feel like i had the gas left over for cardio. in fact i was halfway to the locker room when i got a text message from a friend off of the boards reminding me that i could tap out of cardio but the other girl on stage likely wont be. i did my cardio. the intensity wasn't there but hopefully that won't matter.
so your probably wondering how i'm doing? here is my first progress comparison:
and my last comparison:
the downside was missing my regular wednesday night workout had me training 5 days in a row to get back on schedule. well monday was the 5th day and i have to tell you it was a battle of wills. on the drive to the gym i was yawning, not a good sign. i managed to get through the workout ok, but i really didn't feel like i had the gas left over for cardio. in fact i was halfway to the locker room when i got a text message from a friend off of the boards reminding me that i could tap out of cardio but the other girl on stage likely wont be. i did my cardio. the intensity wasn't there but hopefully that won't matter.
so your probably wondering how i'm doing? here is my first progress comparison:
and my last comparison:
Monday, February 05, 2007
i did not fall off the earth
forgive me friends for it has been a month since my last 'confession', i know some of you have been worried. i recieved more than an email or two just to check that i was still playing a part in the oxygen - carbon dioxyde cycle.
first let me catch you up on what's new. the date of the show? still a mystery. i called the promoter when i first heard that the date of the show had been changed to mid-may. the promoter told me that he had not changed the date of the show and that it was still the end of april. of course the date in question already had a show on that date and its highly irregular to have shows on the same date... unless the locations are very far apart. i was told that he needed to look into it and that i should call him back a week later. from then i could only reach his voice mail and none of my messages were returned. to date i have had three show prep appointments with george with no confirmed show date.
since then i've heard from two different sources that the promoter who has been doing the show, is no longer doing shows with the OPA. so now what? will somebody else pick up the ball or will there be no natural show in ontario in 2007? that's where things stand at this point. but wait, i've been dieting since the 9th of december, what about that? well... i'm aiming for that mythical may 17th date in the hopes that rumour is true. if it's not then there IS a untested show the weekend following. i have no real desire to do an untested show but by that point i will have already been dieting for 6 months. it's time to do something and get back to growing.
it also officially looks like my friend tg and her husband will not be in ohio with army and i. just so you know show tickets, hotel reservations and plane tickets have all been purchased for the 2007 arnold schwarzenegger classic. its going to be a fun show to watch. plus a lot of members from my board will be attending the event and its very likely i will get to meet more of them.
speaking of tg she bought me a shirt. it came in the mail a few weeks back and i was really touched when i opened it. that one simple gesture made me feel like i truly had the support of a friend, who sees me as a bodybuilder as well, even IF i refuse to cross the supplement line. the interesting thing is, i hit a personal best squatting the first time i wore that shirt in the gym. below is a pic of me post workout.
first let me catch you up on what's new. the date of the show? still a mystery. i called the promoter when i first heard that the date of the show had been changed to mid-may. the promoter told me that he had not changed the date of the show and that it was still the end of april. of course the date in question already had a show on that date and its highly irregular to have shows on the same date... unless the locations are very far apart. i was told that he needed to look into it and that i should call him back a week later. from then i could only reach his voice mail and none of my messages were returned. to date i have had three show prep appointments with george with no confirmed show date.
since then i've heard from two different sources that the promoter who has been doing the show, is no longer doing shows with the OPA. so now what? will somebody else pick up the ball or will there be no natural show in ontario in 2007? that's where things stand at this point. but wait, i've been dieting since the 9th of december, what about that? well... i'm aiming for that mythical may 17th date in the hopes that rumour is true. if it's not then there IS a untested show the weekend following. i have no real desire to do an untested show but by that point i will have already been dieting for 6 months. it's time to do something and get back to growing.
it also officially looks like my friend tg and her husband will not be in ohio with army and i. just so you know show tickets, hotel reservations and plane tickets have all been purchased for the 2007 arnold schwarzenegger classic. its going to be a fun show to watch. plus a lot of members from my board will be attending the event and its very likely i will get to meet more of them.
speaking of tg she bought me a shirt. it came in the mail a few weeks back and i was really touched when i opened it. that one simple gesture made me feel like i truly had the support of a friend, who sees me as a bodybuilder as well, even IF i refuse to cross the supplement line. the interesting thing is, i hit a personal best squatting the first time i wore that shirt in the gym. below is a pic of me post workout.
Monday, January 01, 2007
2007... a new beginning
i was listening to a radio show yesterday, the dj was talking about 2007. he mentioned the futility of making reservations, he suggested instead to attack the new year. 'go and get' what you want in '07.
later last night i rented a movie. it wasn't a 'good' movie but the story was thought provoking. the hero in the movie had a history of hitting a modicum of success but he was forever held back by his fear of his success.
just when he should have done something to move forward to the next level, he would experience fear on a level he could not identify. he went surfing instead of to a meeting with a potential sponser. and he drank till he was sick the night before the big competition.
i've been thinking. there was never a missed meeting, nor any lapses in sobriety. but did i so fear failure that i sabotagued myself enough to not be truly successful? have i truly attacked what i wanted? have i ever truly attacked my dreams. if not why? is there some reason why i feel i don't deserve happiness or success?
what's worse miche? walking through life searching for something unknown or tearing into what i want and letting the chips fall where they may?
perhaps it's finally time to find out? surely it's possible to achieve my dreams?
later last night i rented a movie. it wasn't a 'good' movie but the story was thought provoking. the hero in the movie had a history of hitting a modicum of success but he was forever held back by his fear of his success.
just when he should have done something to move forward to the next level, he would experience fear on a level he could not identify. he went surfing instead of to a meeting with a potential sponser. and he drank till he was sick the night before the big competition.
i've been thinking. there was never a missed meeting, nor any lapses in sobriety. but did i so fear failure that i sabotagued myself enough to not be truly successful? have i truly attacked what i wanted? have i ever truly attacked my dreams. if not why? is there some reason why i feel i don't deserve happiness or success?
what's worse miche? walking through life searching for something unknown or tearing into what i want and letting the chips fall where they may?
perhaps it's finally time to find out? surely it's possible to achieve my dreams?
Friday, December 29, 2006
you can't always get what you want...
so sings mick and the boys. and alas that is what i am here to share with you tonight. second week of the diet was not as inspiring as the first which sucked, but that is life. and the last squat of the year did not go as well as i would have liked... which also sucked.
the squat was likely a product of bad timing and poor judgement. my pc went down on wednesday and i think i allowed myself to be so distracted by that, that i trained the wrong muscle group. so instead of squatting on wednesday i was forced to squat today. the problem with that was that i went to the skatepark with the guys last night and spent a couple hours in the mini ramp. likely not condusive to a positive squat performance. oh well... i guess there is always next year???
the physical changes continue. its so much easier to quickly get to my target heart rate and keep it there. the rings feel loose. i feel stronger, i am continuing to breathe better. and visually i look tighter.
i opted out of all family holiday celebrations. i had no intentions of getting off the diet and i did not want the added headache of explaining to my family that i could not and would not eat any of the food they had out. selfish? perhaps but i wasn't feeling particularly strong either of the days my family got together and with a 40lb loss ahead of me... i felt it was better to be safe than sorry.
oh yeah... this is good, so the date of my show is likely changed again. the question remains to when? i hope to find out by early next week. hopefully before i go see george.
onwards and upwards the battle continues.
the squat was likely a product of bad timing and poor judgement. my pc went down on wednesday and i think i allowed myself to be so distracted by that, that i trained the wrong muscle group. so instead of squatting on wednesday i was forced to squat today. the problem with that was that i went to the skatepark with the guys last night and spent a couple hours in the mini ramp. likely not condusive to a positive squat performance. oh well... i guess there is always next year???
the physical changes continue. its so much easier to quickly get to my target heart rate and keep it there. the rings feel loose. i feel stronger, i am continuing to breathe better. and visually i look tighter.
i opted out of all family holiday celebrations. i had no intentions of getting off the diet and i did not want the added headache of explaining to my family that i could not and would not eat any of the food they had out. selfish? perhaps but i wasn't feeling particularly strong either of the days my family got together and with a 40lb loss ahead of me... i felt it was better to be safe than sorry.
oh yeah... this is good, so the date of my show is likely changed again. the question remains to when? i hope to find out by early next week. hopefully before i go see george.
onwards and upwards the battle continues.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
one down 19 to go...
the first week of the diet is in the history books. i'm both pleased and a little disappointed all at the same time. first of all the good; i am down 3.5lbs, i'm 5'8" smaller in the waist and 1" smaller in the chest. not bad for a week, but i'd be lying if i didn't admit to hoping for a greater loss.
i thought i'd share some of the positive changes that i've noticed in this first week. first of all my favourite change, doing cardio is getting easier. i'm not saying i was horribily out of shape but there were a couple times during that first session were i thought i might have been walking towards 'the light'. climbing the stairs at the carpark is also getting a little easier. the rings on my fingers fit looser. my personal favourite, the veins are starting to reappear on my forearms. i am actually getting stronger.
sadly my mother feels its necessary to point out how 'fat' i've gotten. somehow she is convinced that i am unaware of the difference in my physique. today she amused herself by poking at me and announcing that i was exploding out of my clothes. apparently at the family function last night she was telling all who would listen that they wouldn't believe me if they saw me. she told them how big my azz was and how i was 'exploding'. oh and this is rich. they have determined that i actually purposely plan these diets around the family functions so that i won't have to go. okay people what kind of nutbar goes on a 5 month diet to avoid their family???!!
this weekend i officially put my bike away for the winter. speed racer and i are storing out bikes together. speed racer insists that her bike is a boy and so perhaps before i left jade i should have sat her down and had that 'little talk' with her. hopefully i won't end up with a couple of pocket bikes come spring.
anyway here is a pic of zeph and jade as they hunker down for winter... well assuming we ever actually get a winter.
i thought i'd share some of the positive changes that i've noticed in this first week. first of all my favourite change, doing cardio is getting easier. i'm not saying i was horribily out of shape but there were a couple times during that first session were i thought i might have been walking towards 'the light'. climbing the stairs at the carpark is also getting a little easier. the rings on my fingers fit looser. my personal favourite, the veins are starting to reappear on my forearms. i am actually getting stronger.
sadly my mother feels its necessary to point out how 'fat' i've gotten. somehow she is convinced that i am unaware of the difference in my physique. today she amused herself by poking at me and announcing that i was exploding out of my clothes. apparently at the family function last night she was telling all who would listen that they wouldn't believe me if they saw me. she told them how big my azz was and how i was 'exploding'. oh and this is rich. they have determined that i actually purposely plan these diets around the family functions so that i won't have to go. okay people what kind of nutbar goes on a 5 month diet to avoid their family???!!
this weekend i officially put my bike away for the winter. speed racer and i are storing out bikes together. speed racer insists that her bike is a boy and so perhaps before i left jade i should have sat her down and had that 'little talk' with her. hopefully i won't end up with a couple of pocket bikes come spring.
anyway here is a pic of zeph and jade as they hunker down for winter... well assuming we ever actually get a winter.
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