last night i had a follow-up with the guy who is doing the diet portion of my show prep. again he was pleased with my progress and said that i was coming in nicely. i'm down about 7lbs since we started.
he still felt that it would be a good idea to make some changes. so at this point my cardio is unchanged but ive lost some calories from both my training days and my non-training days. the losses to the training days don't seem as tough to take as the non-training days, but that remains to be seen. hopefully this will have me losing more than a lb of fat a week.
he again re-iterated the importance of getting my sleep. a concept i am aware of, however, find it quite difficult to put it into practice.
take yesterday night for example. work makes it difficult to book early appointments, as i never know if i will be able to get out on time. i also found that the spray tan works best when i don't train the morning after. so an hour working out the diet and another hour for prep and 'tan' had me home about 10 pm.
now it's imperative that i start the dietary changes as soon as i'm given them, which meant i was up till 11:30 trying to figure it all out. once again my available sleep time is compromised.
oh well, i cancelled my training appointment for this evening and i intend to be in bed in a little while so hopefully i will be back on track for sleep.
i bid you all good night
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
the doctor is in
today's workout was a little different from most. i told my coach this morning that i'm having a lot of trouble with the high-rep workouts. he could not believe how much the high rep-low poundages bother me. he tried to explain to me that it was all part of the show prep game. what he fails to understand is that although my logical side knows that, the child within does not like getting her azz handed to her by light weights.
from there we got into my need to keep the show date a secret. i told him about the best contest i ever skated in. the highway was shut-down, i had to get to the contest site... so i skated. down some roads, ran through a field or two, hopped a concrete barrier, across a highway and got to there in time to warm up for 'street'. i guess all the excitement caused me to be more relaxed than i had ever been in my life. i skated like a champ and i won. that contest was covered by espn and it was replayed on tv for a few weeks. by the time i went to the next contest people knew my name. some were predicting an easy win for me, others were looking forward to seeing me skate live. all that attention freaked me out and i went on a tank bender that lasted for more contests than i care to admit.
my coach felt that i allow too much external influences to impede my focus. agreed. the problem is i don't know how to control that. as long as i skated in front of perfect strangers who, i felt, didn't have an expectations of me... i skated well and when they weren't strangers i skated like pooh.
his opinion about external influence brought him back to saturday's posing incident. he felt that i should not have payed any attention to the staff member who was mimicking me in the window. as i don't really get off on people making fun of me i tend to disagree. his theory is that the lad in question was not making fun of me but rather was being supportive. poppyc0ck!!
he told me that i shouldn't allow myself to feel as though the world is against me. he figures that because my family tends to run roughshod over my feelings and i have to 'take it', it makes me overly sensitive outside of the home and am quick to defend myself from attacks, that may not necessarily be attacks. he also said that if i was going to allow myself to be affected by the negative things that people say and do, i have to also allow myself to be equally affected by the good things that people say and do as well.
i can admit that some of what he says makes sense and has merit. but i also have to admit that i may not be able to change some of how i am. i've heard more negative things my whole life than i've heard positive... to the point where the positive stuff kinda freaks me out. i'm just never really sure how to handle/deal with compliments. i'm often very taken aback by compliments, i tend to doubt the legitimacy of them and quite flustered and unsure of how to handle them.
goofy perhaps... but all part of my charm
from there we got into my need to keep the show date a secret. i told him about the best contest i ever skated in. the highway was shut-down, i had to get to the contest site... so i skated. down some roads, ran through a field or two, hopped a concrete barrier, across a highway and got to there in time to warm up for 'street'. i guess all the excitement caused me to be more relaxed than i had ever been in my life. i skated like a champ and i won. that contest was covered by espn and it was replayed on tv for a few weeks. by the time i went to the next contest people knew my name. some were predicting an easy win for me, others were looking forward to seeing me skate live. all that attention freaked me out and i went on a tank bender that lasted for more contests than i care to admit.
my coach felt that i allow too much external influences to impede my focus. agreed. the problem is i don't know how to control that. as long as i skated in front of perfect strangers who, i felt, didn't have an expectations of me... i skated well and when they weren't strangers i skated like pooh.
his opinion about external influence brought him back to saturday's posing incident. he felt that i should not have payed any attention to the staff member who was mimicking me in the window. as i don't really get off on people making fun of me i tend to disagree. his theory is that the lad in question was not making fun of me but rather was being supportive. poppyc0ck!!
he told me that i shouldn't allow myself to feel as though the world is against me. he figures that because my family tends to run roughshod over my feelings and i have to 'take it', it makes me overly sensitive outside of the home and am quick to defend myself from attacks, that may not necessarily be attacks. he also said that if i was going to allow myself to be affected by the negative things that people say and do, i have to also allow myself to be equally affected by the good things that people say and do as well.
i can admit that some of what he says makes sense and has merit. but i also have to admit that i may not be able to change some of how i am. i've heard more negative things my whole life than i've heard positive... to the point where the positive stuff kinda freaks me out. i'm just never really sure how to handle/deal with compliments. i'm often very taken aback by compliments, i tend to doubt the legitimacy of them and quite flustered and unsure of how to handle them.
goofy perhaps... but all part of my charm
Sunday, April 23, 2006
just beat it!
i seem to be suffering from michael jackson's disease. no, my nose isn't 'mysteriously' getting smaller and no, i don't suddenly possess a cleft in a previously un-clefted chin. it appears that level 3 is not fading evenly. my hands seem to have 3 shades of colour on them. the original miche, the miche +1 and the miche x2. i am not really sure what i can do about this, beyond keeping my hands in my pockets till the colour differences aren't so glaring. since i make a living pushing a mouse, that option isn't practical.
the next question is why is the colour coming off like that? i think it might be operator error, i think i made some mistakes with the tan application this time. but this was a trial run so it's important to experiment as much as possible while i still can.
today was a busy sunday. trained back and calves, worked my gym shift, trained a client, went grocery shopping, cooked chicken and rice (for the week), stretched, practiced posing and talked on the phone for 3 hours with a friend.
i've really been feeling out of sorts today and i felt that a conversation with someone going through the show prep might be in order to help snap me outta my mood. i love talking to tg, she is one of those infectious personalities always positive and upbeat. i often wish we lived closer to each other.
ya gotta have friends
the next question is why is the colour coming off like that? i think it might be operator error, i think i made some mistakes with the tan application this time. but this was a trial run so it's important to experiment as much as possible while i still can.
today was a busy sunday. trained back and calves, worked my gym shift, trained a client, went grocery shopping, cooked chicken and rice (for the week), stretched, practiced posing and talked on the phone for 3 hours with a friend.
i've really been feeling out of sorts today and i felt that a conversation with someone going through the show prep might be in order to help snap me outta my mood. i love talking to tg, she is one of those infectious personalities always positive and upbeat. i often wish we lived closer to each other.
ya gotta have friends
Saturday, April 22, 2006
thirty-five or six to six
its early saturday morning. another one of those times that i didn't get to bed as i should have. and unfortunately another time i found myself wandering the halls between 1:00-2:00 am. i'm not really sure what that is about, i am however hoping it was just another isolated incident.
it's almost time to go to the gym. first we are training chest and then later we will start working on my posing. i wish we didn't have to do it in the studio at the gym, but sadly there is no other option. the studio is not as private as i would like and people by nature are curious... curious people ask questions. remember this is a private quest, sure i've shared my goal with a few people, but when it gets right down to it... i'd rather focus on the goal at hand without distraction.
yesterday my coach showed up at the gym still suffering from a nasty case of post-workout soreness. he was limping around and he was getting in and out of machines with the grace of a geriatric with a porcelain hip. he caught me grinning and set out to teach me a lesson. what was originally supposed to be a 20 rep set became 30! it hurt like hell, but i gave him everyone of those reps the best that i could. so when he said post-set, that's what you get for laughing at me, i just turned and gave him the biggest, broadest smile i could muster.
you can bend me... but you can not break me!!!
it's almost time to go to the gym. first we are training chest and then later we will start working on my posing. i wish we didn't have to do it in the studio at the gym, but sadly there is no other option. the studio is not as private as i would like and people by nature are curious... curious people ask questions. remember this is a private quest, sure i've shared my goal with a few people, but when it gets right down to it... i'd rather focus on the goal at hand without distraction.
yesterday my coach showed up at the gym still suffering from a nasty case of post-workout soreness. he was limping around and he was getting in and out of machines with the grace of a geriatric with a porcelain hip. he caught me grinning and set out to teach me a lesson. what was originally supposed to be a 20 rep set became 30! it hurt like hell, but i gave him everyone of those reps the best that i could. so when he said post-set, that's what you get for laughing at me, i just turned and gave him the biggest, broadest smile i could muster.
you can bend me... but you can not break me!!!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
fear of a muscular planet
had an interesting conversation at work today with a co-worker. i guess she decided to fill her time by trying to get a sense of miche or perhaps unlocking the mystery that is miche. now for those of you who know me well, you know that i've had most of you scratching your head for years.
it all started when she asked me if i had trained. i explained that it unfortunately an off-day. she asked how many off days were in my week and when they were. "tuesdays and thursdays... the days i'm cranky". she could not understand why i had off-days if they made me cranky. like it was my idea??!!!
from there we got into how i became a gym rat and after a brief trip through my sport history she asked me about how i spend my free time. when i stopped laughing she rephrased the question. she started to ask 'what i did for fun' but when she saw my face light up, she withdrew the question and tried again.
right now my life pretty much is sleep, eat, train, work, train clients, work at the gym, repeat. she really didn't get that and started listing activities do you go to the clubs, to the movies, to plays, to cultural events...
eventually i had to stop her and explain that my life is as it is right now, because i have goals. she asked what my goals were. "to get as big as i possibly can". she responded with horror, as most people do, where weight training and bodybuilding are concerned. then she wanted to know why i wanted to get bigger.
for those of you who are curious, this is why. one of the things i've never been able to understand is why natural bodybuilders generally are so small. just for clarity, i don't mean as in comparison to the enhanced bodybuilders, but rather in comparison to the rest of society. i feel the only way to truly understand why they aren't bigger is to try to be bigger myself and fail.
perhaps a lofty goal, but why dream in black and white when you can dream in high definition colour???
it all started when she asked me if i had trained. i explained that it unfortunately an off-day. she asked how many off days were in my week and when they were. "tuesdays and thursdays... the days i'm cranky". she could not understand why i had off-days if they made me cranky. like it was my idea??!!!
from there we got into how i became a gym rat and after a brief trip through my sport history she asked me about how i spend my free time. when i stopped laughing she rephrased the question. she started to ask 'what i did for fun' but when she saw my face light up, she withdrew the question and tried again.
right now my life pretty much is sleep, eat, train, work, train clients, work at the gym, repeat. she really didn't get that and started listing activities do you go to the clubs, to the movies, to plays, to cultural events...
eventually i had to stop her and explain that my life is as it is right now, because i have goals. she asked what my goals were. "to get as big as i possibly can". she responded with horror, as most people do, where weight training and bodybuilding are concerned. then she wanted to know why i wanted to get bigger.
for those of you who are curious, this is why. one of the things i've never been able to understand is why natural bodybuilders generally are so small. just for clarity, i don't mean as in comparison to the enhanced bodybuilders, but rather in comparison to the rest of society. i feel the only way to truly understand why they aren't bigger is to try to be bigger myself and fail.
perhaps a lofty goal, but why dream in black and white when you can dream in high definition colour???
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
a darker shade of pale
level 3 did not live up to the hype. i did not awaken this morning looking like some offspring of wesley snipes. although i was dark enough that a work mate mentioned that i looked tanned. she also asked if i had been outside. as is my way, i responded but i never really answered her question. it's an art form really. much later if you think about it you realize, 'hey... she never answered my question', it's about diversion and careful deflection. smoke and mirrors if you will.
well there is a bike available it is reportedly in awesome condition. but it is about 1000.00 more than i was planning to spend. i've been turning it over but i really think i just can't go there. i have show prep costs still to incur, a more expensive bike will be reflected in my insurance costs and the truck needs some work and i have a nasty feeling its going to be expensive. i'm wondering if i should just go for that '92 that had been driven!!! its well within my price range, its older so the insurance would likely be less than i've been quoted to date and its got an after market pipe on it. hehehee. oh the trouble i could get in with that bad boy!!
work is pooh. got stuck there till 8:15pm so i was unable to go check out any bikes today.
training this a.m was killer. it was almost all supersets and i kept having to drop weights to get my rep counts. it was getting so ugly at one point i was about ready to peel the numbers of the plates in order to lighten the load enough to finish my set!!
the new plan, since work is getting in the way of my posing practice, is to do it saturday a.m after we train. i'm told i will be given homework and that i should bring a tripod, and a camcorder. it's getting interesting now.
stay tuned
well there is a bike available it is reportedly in awesome condition. but it is about 1000.00 more than i was planning to spend. i've been turning it over but i really think i just can't go there. i have show prep costs still to incur, a more expensive bike will be reflected in my insurance costs and the truck needs some work and i have a nasty feeling its going to be expensive. i'm wondering if i should just go for that '92 that had been driven!!! its well within my price range, its older so the insurance would likely be less than i've been quoted to date and its got an after market pipe on it. hehehee. oh the trouble i could get in with that bad boy!!
work is pooh. got stuck there till 8:15pm so i was unable to go check out any bikes today.
training this a.m was killer. it was almost all supersets and i kept having to drop weights to get my rep counts. it was getting so ugly at one point i was about ready to peel the numbers of the plates in order to lighten the load enough to finish my set!!
the new plan, since work is getting in the way of my posing practice, is to do it saturday a.m after we train. i'm told i will be given homework and that i should bring a tripod, and a camcorder. it's getting interesting now.
stay tuned
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
level 3... do i feel lucky??
well i'm 1.5 hours into the 'peaking' process. my coach was unable to meet with me tonight to start posing practice so instead i went 'tanning'. we decided that to try level 3. not sure if i'm going to wake up tomorrow morning looking like wesley snipes... but if you hear a hellacious scream at 4:00 est you can bet your bottom dollar it's me.
the same girl was working at the salon tonight. i think she was trying to engage me in conversation post 'tan'. it was either because she was bored or she wanted to watch me change. you may or may not recall but she has never seen level 3 before. i however was not in the mood to 'chat'. they tell you not to wear anything too tight after the procedure that might rub the tan off. since i was kind of goin commando i wasn't really in the mood to chit chat.
was going to type more but had to stop to deal with a crisis of infinite proportions. yes the vcr did not tape the soap operas today and my mother was having a fit. catch up with you next time... i'm so tired i think i'm going to pass out where i sit.
the same girl was working at the salon tonight. i think she was trying to engage me in conversation post 'tan'. it was either because she was bored or she wanted to watch me change. you may or may not recall but she has never seen level 3 before. i however was not in the mood to 'chat'. they tell you not to wear anything too tight after the procedure that might rub the tan off. since i was kind of goin commando i wasn't really in the mood to chit chat.
was going to type more but had to stop to deal with a crisis of infinite proportions. yes the vcr did not tape the soap operas today and my mother was having a fit. catch up with you next time... i'm so tired i think i'm going to pass out where i sit.
Monday, April 17, 2006
the eagle has landed... the fox is back in the hen house
yeah thats right the units are back. did i get the house clean in time? well at this point i'm not sure. i have yet to hear from either of them if there was anything that was horribly amiss. the fact that i haven't heard anything yet, should not lull me into a false sense of security. my units can be crafty people. they could be saving it up for the next family gathering in order to announce it then and ensure that my humiliation is public.
trained quads this morning with my coach and happily there was no funky knee pains like last week. apparently he has vetoed 2 songs off my list, (busta rhymes cuz of the language and the missy elliott track). he still hasn't made it through the entire 10 choices so i'm not sure if anything else is likely to get cut. in other news he is very happy with the progress pics. the hamstrings are really starting to make themselves known. the final post-diet pics from 2005 showed that i really needed to bring up my hamstrings... so based on what we are looking at so far... i seem to have done just that. yeah for me!
my nutritionist has some concerns about that dizzy spell i had a couple weeks back and he has encouraged me to get my blood work done. so i took care of that today, gave up 5 or 6 vials of blood. vultures!!
the bike quest hit another snafu. a bike that would have been perfect, that was available saturday an hour before close, was sold, this morning, before i got there. i'm feeling pretty disappointed to say the least. i also went to the monday bike club meet, there were even more bikes out this week than last. i got there early, as my new schedule allows, and didn't stay as late as before so i should be able to get into bed at a reasonable hour. tomorrow is an off day so i can sleep in a bit too.
off to bed....
trained quads this morning with my coach and happily there was no funky knee pains like last week. apparently he has vetoed 2 songs off my list, (busta rhymes cuz of the language and the missy elliott track). he still hasn't made it through the entire 10 choices so i'm not sure if anything else is likely to get cut. in other news he is very happy with the progress pics. the hamstrings are really starting to make themselves known. the final post-diet pics from 2005 showed that i really needed to bring up my hamstrings... so based on what we are looking at so far... i seem to have done just that. yeah for me!
my nutritionist has some concerns about that dizzy spell i had a couple weeks back and he has encouraged me to get my blood work done. so i took care of that today, gave up 5 or 6 vials of blood. vultures!!
the bike quest hit another snafu. a bike that would have been perfect, that was available saturday an hour before close, was sold, this morning, before i got there. i'm feeling pretty disappointed to say the least. i also went to the monday bike club meet, there were even more bikes out this week than last. i got there early, as my new schedule allows, and didn't stay as late as before so i should be able to get into bed at a reasonable hour. tomorrow is an off day so i can sleep in a bit too.
off to bed....
Sunday, April 16, 2006
just outside of cleveland
i got the phone call around 8:30 pm. my travelling parents have stopped for the night in a hotel just outside of cleveland. yikes!!! i'm not sure the house is ready per se but it is a lot better than it has been. i've asked my parents to drive slow but barring some unforseen freak storm i think they will be in around 1:00 pm.
things to learn for next time:
- the correct way to clean a self cleaning oven
- it is NEVER a good idea to open that plastic container in the back of the fridge!!!
- it is impossible to identify most foods after 2 months of mould growth
- fish NEVER smells good!!!
today was a good day for catching up with folks. ran into my old training partner at the gym this afternoon and for the first time in months neither the two of us was racing around. we actually stood and talked for a bit.
finally caught up with my friends who live in florida. i've been trying to get in touch with S and E since last year. today was finally the day, we talked for about an hour. laughing and joking as if they never left. they are an awesome couple, they have the greatest spirit about them, they are full of positivity and a joy to be around. they may come up and visit in the summer. it would be fantastic to see them again.
shot my bi-weekly progress pics. i'm trying to be objective but its really hard when your looking at yourself. i still can't help but notice all the things i think need work. i'm definately leaner and i can see details i couldn't see before... but i just can't seem to get it out of my head that i should be bigger.
things to learn for next time:
- the correct way to clean a self cleaning oven
- it is NEVER a good idea to open that plastic container in the back of the fridge!!!
- it is impossible to identify most foods after 2 months of mould growth
- fish NEVER smells good!!!
today was a good day for catching up with folks. ran into my old training partner at the gym this afternoon and for the first time in months neither the two of us was racing around. we actually stood and talked for a bit.
finally caught up with my friends who live in florida. i've been trying to get in touch with S and E since last year. today was finally the day, we talked for about an hour. laughing and joking as if they never left. they are an awesome couple, they have the greatest spirit about them, they are full of positivity and a joy to be around. they may come up and visit in the summer. it would be fantastic to see them again.
shot my bi-weekly progress pics. i'm trying to be objective but its really hard when your looking at yourself. i still can't help but notice all the things i think need work. i'm definately leaner and i can see details i couldn't see before... but i just can't seem to get it out of my head that i should be bigger.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
strike a pose
this is the part in the journey where we start including structured posing practice into my weekly schedule. to be honest i eagerly await this challenge. what has always impressed me the most, at the pro level, was the athletes who best knew how to display that physique that they worked so long and hard for. i want to be one of those athletes who can POSE!! i couldn't be in better hands, my coach is a master poser and has a wack of best poser awards to show for it.
so after i got home from the gym i gathered together some tracks that i like. that i hope we will be able to use for my routine. it's on a disk that i will be giving to my coach in the morning. he is going to to have to see what we can use. part of me wishes i could be there while he is listening to it. you see my musical tastes tend to run the gamut at times. these days i tend to connect to songs on purely an emotional level. basically i find i 'like' songs that just aren't me, but something in the message just gets me. so i expect the first couple of songs will have him bopping his head and then a bit later he will likely be shaking it. im pretty sure there is one song on there that he is going to straight up veto. but i will keep you posted.
the quest for the bike is not dead. again keep your fingers crossed.
got more of this place cleaned up. of note, a plastic zip-lock freezer bag was stored too close to the back of the toaster oven. when we moved the toaster oven today we discovered the molten bag still attached. oops! freezer bag and toaster oven have since been seperated and sent to their neutral corners. however, i will have to use some kind of thinner to remove all evidence of the incident.
from one of my choices:
so after i got home from the gym i gathered together some tracks that i like. that i hope we will be able to use for my routine. it's on a disk that i will be giving to my coach in the morning. he is going to to have to see what we can use. part of me wishes i could be there while he is listening to it. you see my musical tastes tend to run the gamut at times. these days i tend to connect to songs on purely an emotional level. basically i find i 'like' songs that just aren't me, but something in the message just gets me. so i expect the first couple of songs will have him bopping his head and then a bit later he will likely be shaking it. im pretty sure there is one song on there that he is going to straight up veto. but i will keep you posted.
the quest for the bike is not dead. again keep your fingers crossed.
got more of this place cleaned up. of note, a plastic zip-lock freezer bag was stored too close to the back of the toaster oven. when we moved the toaster oven today we discovered the molten bag still attached. oops! freezer bag and toaster oven have since been seperated and sent to their neutral corners. however, i will have to use some kind of thinner to remove all evidence of the incident.
from one of my choices:
Getting to it, let's just face it
We can do it if we try
Ain't nothing to it
Let's just take it
We can make it if we try
~christina milian~
Friday, April 14, 2006
operation kitchen storm - day 1
started trying to relocate the family homestead from under the haze of dust that has descended since the parental units went south. its not that my brother or i were intentionally trying to let things slide. its just that between our two schedules it was quite difficult to fit regular house work in. to be honest, its about all i can do to stay on top of my cooking, training, work...
now don't get me wrong. i don't think i have it any harder than anyone. i think that just because this is all so new to me it's taking me a while to figure out a schedule that works. but i will, i can be a tenacious lil' cuss when i set my mind to it.
one of the members at the gym today asked me when my show date was. i so eloquently replied 'say huhhhh??'. which caused her to apologize profusely and explain that she had been seeing how hard i was training lately and was POSITIVE i was getting ready for a show. i just laughed and told her i was crazy like that. she accepted it and happily went on her way. fooled another one!!!
another member noticed my new darker skin and wanted to know where i went. that really suprised me because i did not think that this 'tan' looked natural at all. go figure. oh yeah i still haven't answered him... mostly because i didn't want to lie and say something i wasn't going to remember later.
i went and got that massage i needed, even though with this 'tan', i'm not supposed to. the massage and the oils used are going to cause me to fade faster. i was going to cancel it but since this is just a dry run and its far more important that i be able to train injury-free... dayumm the torpedos full steam ahead.
the treatment was 'holy cow' painful, my quad muscle was ridiculously tight. she spent an entire hour on one leg and it was still tighter than she would have liked. since it no longer hurt, as far as i was concerned, i was cured. i think she is a perfectionist... one of the reasons why i like going to her. she is another one of those positive influences who are part of my support system. friends like that reaffirm my belief in people. i find that i can be more confident in my ability to make friends, (with people who are without alterior motives and dark sides).
i leave you with my favourite quote
~doubt is the killer of dreams~
now don't get me wrong. i don't think i have it any harder than anyone. i think that just because this is all so new to me it's taking me a while to figure out a schedule that works. but i will, i can be a tenacious lil' cuss when i set my mind to it.
one of the members at the gym today asked me when my show date was. i so eloquently replied 'say huhhhh??'. which caused her to apologize profusely and explain that she had been seeing how hard i was training lately and was POSITIVE i was getting ready for a show. i just laughed and told her i was crazy like that. she accepted it and happily went on her way. fooled another one!!!
another member noticed my new darker skin and wanted to know where i went. that really suprised me because i did not think that this 'tan' looked natural at all. go figure. oh yeah i still haven't answered him... mostly because i didn't want to lie and say something i wasn't going to remember later.
i went and got that massage i needed, even though with this 'tan', i'm not supposed to. the massage and the oils used are going to cause me to fade faster. i was going to cancel it but since this is just a dry run and its far more important that i be able to train injury-free... dayumm the torpedos full steam ahead.
the treatment was 'holy cow' painful, my quad muscle was ridiculously tight. she spent an entire hour on one leg and it was still tighter than she would have liked. since it no longer hurt, as far as i was concerned, i was cured. i think she is a perfectionist... one of the reasons why i like going to her. she is another one of those positive influences who are part of my support system. friends like that reaffirm my belief in people. i find that i can be more confident in my ability to make friends, (with people who are without alterior motives and dark sides).
i leave you with my favourite quote
~doubt is the killer of dreams~
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
bare azz nekkid in a phone booth
the journey to the stage has brought into my life many new experiences. some of them have been no big deal and others have been a bit more of a challenge. today i started the dry run of the colour process. so i called up a tanning salon that offered the mystic tan booked an appointment and then walked in there with my black azz. oh let me tell you i felt more than a little bit silly. and the poor girl working that night was traumatized trying to figure out what level to set the machine for.
eventually we worked it out. she explained the process and next thing i knew i was bare azz nekkid in a phone booth getting hosed by an unseen assailant. i think i know now how my car feels when i take it through the wash at the gas station.
so im sitting here now waiting for another 2 hours to pass. when the colour is expected to 'peak'. we only tried level 2, so i guess if there isn't a significant enough change then next week i will try level 3. she seemed pretty frightened of level 3, apparently she had never seen anybody take level 3. i kept waiting for the scary music to play every time she spoke of level 3, there was something quite reverent about the way she said it. anyway i am going to go another two times after this. should get a fairly good idea if this is the way to go.
today my mood was still foul. still no word on the bike situation. and for reasons unknown i was almost certain today i would have another melt down. since i'm safely back at home and currently in my pj's i think i managed to make it through the day sans tantrum.
i rock!
eventually we worked it out. she explained the process and next thing i knew i was bare azz nekkid in a phone booth getting hosed by an unseen assailant. i think i know now how my car feels when i take it through the wash at the gas station.
so im sitting here now waiting for another 2 hours to pass. when the colour is expected to 'peak'. we only tried level 2, so i guess if there isn't a significant enough change then next week i will try level 3. she seemed pretty frightened of level 3, apparently she had never seen anybody take level 3. i kept waiting for the scary music to play every time she spoke of level 3, there was something quite reverent about the way she said it. anyway i am going to go another two times after this. should get a fairly good idea if this is the way to go.
today my mood was still foul. still no word on the bike situation. and for reasons unknown i was almost certain today i would have another melt down. since i'm safely back at home and currently in my pj's i think i managed to make it through the day sans tantrum.
i rock!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
hmmm....
today i struggle for a title to my thoughts. my mood has been kind of off. i find myself pensive, down, pessimistic and i'm feeling more than a little sorry for myself.
as i said yesterday i spoke to my travelling parents. my mother, as is her way, always has to turn the conversation around to my social life or rather my lack of one. i can only assume that her time down south with my assorted well-meaning yet intrusive family members have filled her head with crap and her heart with hope. that's fine for them, they see her once a year. i am the one who has to live with the constant reminders that the rest of the world does not find me worthy.
i can't express how much joy it brings me to have these endless conversations wherein i'm told, for my own good of course, everything that is wrong with me and why i can't 'find somebody'. on a good day i'm not the most confident of humans and those who know me know that i can be hurt very easily. wether i choose to let them see it or not the fact remains, i can and am often hurt by people who claim to care for me.
i honestly can't say that i am eager for my parents return. i know i have ahead of me a good few weeks of "well your auntie so-n-so said this...", "your cousin whats-er-name told me to tell you...", and "your name-the-relation thinks you need to stop spending all your time...". yep, thats going to be all kinds of fun for me to deal with during my prep.
you know what miche thinks??? all of those people need to leave me the fawk alone!!!! clearly i suck at adult relationships, obviously i am supposed to be alone. is it absolutely necessary to make me feel like sh*t on top of that???
take your 'for your own good' and shove it where the sun don't shine!
i wish to end on a positive note. today i filled out my membership application for the bodybuilding organization that i plan to compete within. its an important step in this process. the next big step will be filling out the registration form for the show. for me that will be the 'no turning back zone'. although the truth of the matter is, there is no turning back. i will see this through, i have to finish what i started. for i am...
~the warrior~
as i said yesterday i spoke to my travelling parents. my mother, as is her way, always has to turn the conversation around to my social life or rather my lack of one. i can only assume that her time down south with my assorted well-meaning yet intrusive family members have filled her head with crap and her heart with hope. that's fine for them, they see her once a year. i am the one who has to live with the constant reminders that the rest of the world does not find me worthy.
i can't express how much joy it brings me to have these endless conversations wherein i'm told, for my own good of course, everything that is wrong with me and why i can't 'find somebody'. on a good day i'm not the most confident of humans and those who know me know that i can be hurt very easily. wether i choose to let them see it or not the fact remains, i can and am often hurt by people who claim to care for me.
i honestly can't say that i am eager for my parents return. i know i have ahead of me a good few weeks of "well your auntie so-n-so said this...", "your cousin whats-er-name told me to tell you...", and "your name-the-relation thinks you need to stop spending all your time...". yep, thats going to be all kinds of fun for me to deal with during my prep.
you know what miche thinks??? all of those people need to leave me the fawk alone!!!! clearly i suck at adult relationships, obviously i am supposed to be alone. is it absolutely necessary to make me feel like sh*t on top of that???
take your 'for your own good' and shove it where the sun don't shine!
i wish to end on a positive note. today i filled out my membership application for the bodybuilding organization that i plan to compete within. its an important step in this process. the next big step will be filling out the registration form for the show. for me that will be the 'no turning back zone'. although the truth of the matter is, there is no turning back. i will see this through, i have to finish what i started. for i am...
~the warrior~
Monday, April 10, 2006
one step forward...
woke up this morning feeling pretty much like my old self. yippee!! i get myself to the gym and even my coach can see the difference in my demeanor. so we were both pretty much expecting today to be some kind of wonderful. well i guess sh*t like that only happens in fairy tales and this is real life.
its my second exercise into our workout. after doing my first set of hack squats i went to stretch my quad. there was some sort of dull achy pain around the top of my knee. it didn't matter the range of motion of the stretch as soon as i started to stretch the quad it came back. well we had no recourse but to abbreviate the workout. there is no point pushing further and risking more permanent injury. bah! and feh! so ive spend most of the day walking gingerly on it as it continues to be dull and achy.
i called my travelling parents, currently in georgia, and found out that they will be back home by april 17th. guess who will be spending the entire long weekend trying to ensure the family homestead is clean enough to pass inspection. yippee!
also spoke with one of my friends from the sc forum. we are both brand nubians doing shows this summer and we support each other through our preps. she's really cool, works really hard, is very determined and still manages to balance her life as much as humanly possible. in many ways i think she is handling her prep better than i. you can't help but admire a strong chick who's got it all together. go tg!!! kick azz!!
my coach/trainer called me today as well. seems he has another client and so now it is necessary for us to train every weekday at 5:30 am which means im getting up regularily at 4:00 am. yikes!! yet another reason for me to get my schedule ironed out so that i can get my sleep.
right now i have to get to the gym, i've got a client to train. i'm going to ask him if he wouldn't mind changing his training schedule. i'd like to see if i can get him on a thursday, fri and sunday rotation. of course friday, saturday, sunday would be better for me, but that would be horrifically tough on him and i could never suggest it. he is pretty understanding so i expect he will be okay with it.
time to jump into rush hour traffic!
its my second exercise into our workout. after doing my first set of hack squats i went to stretch my quad. there was some sort of dull achy pain around the top of my knee. it didn't matter the range of motion of the stretch as soon as i started to stretch the quad it came back. well we had no recourse but to abbreviate the workout. there is no point pushing further and risking more permanent injury. bah! and feh! so ive spend most of the day walking gingerly on it as it continues to be dull and achy.
i called my travelling parents, currently in georgia, and found out that they will be back home by april 17th. guess who will be spending the entire long weekend trying to ensure the family homestead is clean enough to pass inspection. yippee!
also spoke with one of my friends from the sc forum. we are both brand nubians doing shows this summer and we support each other through our preps. she's really cool, works really hard, is very determined and still manages to balance her life as much as humanly possible. in many ways i think she is handling her prep better than i. you can't help but admire a strong chick who's got it all together. go tg!!! kick azz!!
my coach/trainer called me today as well. seems he has another client and so now it is necessary for us to train every weekday at 5:30 am which means im getting up regularily at 4:00 am. yikes!! yet another reason for me to get my schedule ironed out so that i can get my sleep.
right now i have to get to the gym, i've got a client to train. i'm going to ask him if he wouldn't mind changing his training schedule. i'd like to see if i can get him on a thursday, fri and sunday rotation. of course friday, saturday, sunday would be better for me, but that would be horrifically tough on him and i could never suggest it. he is pretty understanding so i expect he will be okay with it.
time to jump into rush hour traffic!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
back in the saddle
thankfully i got to train today. i was still feeling a bit funky when i woke up but much better than i have been of late. today the plan was to train, work and then meet up with a friend and go check out the motorcycle show. so i got myself into the gym a little bit earlier than usual so that i could put the calf training in before my coach/training partner met me for back.
*note to self: never, ever, ever train calves before back again!!!
i found it was very hard to focus on my back when both of my legs were bouncing around like pistons in an old chevy.
one of the things we talked about today was taking a dry run at the tanning process. basically we want to see if i will be able to get dark enough with a spray tan or if im going to have to buy a bottled tan. personally i would rather stand in a spray booth than have someone come at me with pro-tan and a paint brush... but only time will tell which way we will have to go.
the bike show was bit of a let down but i think i may have found a lead for my bike. i will let you know but keep your fingers crossed. i really hope this time its the 'one'.
i'm going to keep this brief because i'm on target to be in bed early tonight. i am trying to make a more concerted effort to get my sleep. as i'm leaning out i think i'm having a harder time with the abbreviated nights.
*note to self: never, ever, ever train calves before back again!!!
i found it was very hard to focus on my back when both of my legs were bouncing around like pistons in an old chevy.
one of the things we talked about today was taking a dry run at the tanning process. basically we want to see if i will be able to get dark enough with a spray tan or if im going to have to buy a bottled tan. personally i would rather stand in a spray booth than have someone come at me with pro-tan and a paint brush... but only time will tell which way we will have to go.
the bike show was bit of a let down but i think i may have found a lead for my bike. i will let you know but keep your fingers crossed. i really hope this time its the 'one'.
i'm going to keep this brief because i'm on target to be in bed early tonight. i am trying to make a more concerted effort to get my sleep. as i'm leaning out i think i'm having a harder time with the abbreviated nights.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
day of rest
well i took the day off of training. still had to go to work and i still had a client to train. oddly enough i was wide awake again at 2:00 am but eventually i fell back asleep. i wasn't really feeling like myself but we are short staffed at the gym, so taking a sick day is not an option.
i'm known for being fairly upbeat and chipper at the gym, sometimes i'm fakin it but usually i'm pretty happy to be around all that iron. today however fakin' the funk was not an option. it took all i had to get through my shift. unfortunately the members noticed and some of them even were moved to ask the big boss man what was wrong with me.
after work i came home and fell into my bed. i fell all the way in, didn't think i was going to be able to climb back out!!! spent the rest of the afternoon reading a book and trying to relax.
tomorrow is back day followed by another shift at the gym and then off to the bike show with a friend. hopefully i will be back to my old self in the morning... i really wanna tear that gym up!!!
i'm known for being fairly upbeat and chipper at the gym, sometimes i'm fakin it but usually i'm pretty happy to be around all that iron. today however fakin' the funk was not an option. it took all i had to get through my shift. unfortunately the members noticed and some of them even were moved to ask the big boss man what was wrong with me.
after work i came home and fell into my bed. i fell all the way in, didn't think i was going to be able to climb back out!!! spent the rest of the afternoon reading a book and trying to relax.
tomorrow is back day followed by another shift at the gym and then off to the bike show with a friend. hopefully i will be back to my old self in the morning... i really wanna tear that gym up!!!
Friday, April 07, 2006
a hitch in my giddy-up
every morning i think about what i'm going to say, in my blog, on that particular day. well i have to tell you that what your about to read is not what i had planned for today. i guess the first clue that something was amiss was the fact that i was wide awake from 2:00 am until 3:15 am. a little distressing because my alarm goes off at 4:30 am, and go off it did. like the dutiful soldier i am, i got up and started my day.
at this point in my prep we are working more of a higher rep training scheme. so we started off with 20 reps of stiffs. i had been experiencing some back discomfort from a couple of vertabrae that were misaligned. so i was none too suprised when, after my first set i noticed, a slight pain in an area just a few inches away from my spine. oddly enough i didnt feel any pain or discomfort while doing the exercise but at the conclusion of each set, and each exercise to follow, it hurt.
later while eating my post workout meal i started to notice that i was shaking more than usual. i noted it but i wasn't alarmed. on my way to work i felt really tired but as i usually don't sleep as poorly as i had the night before, i didn't make too much of it. by the time i got to work i was pretty sure something wasn't right. i felt really tired and quite dizzy. my 10:00 o'clock meal did not make me feel any better and by 11:30 am i was getting pretty concerned.
i gave my coach a call and he suggested that i eat again. we discussed the fact that i am not currently eating red meat all the while still training pretty hard. i've haven't been told to stop eating red meat nor have i become a vegetarian. its just that through the years that i have been living this lifestyle i have come to enjoy red meat less and less. i am at the point where i always choose chicken and am at a loss should there be no poultry on the menu.
my next meal did nothing to rectify the dizziness, so i wandered down to a nearby natural foods store and picked up a liquid iron supplement. i'd have to say about a half an hour after later i started to feel a definite improvement. training for saturday is off. it will be the first workout i will have missed since i started my show prep january 4th!
i got a couple of emails from some friends who have been reading my blog. what i read brought me a lot of joy. lately i've had cause to wonder if i was lousy judge of character. i guess maybe i just don't always pick the best people to trust. but i'm happy to report that along with the bad i've also made some really good choices. those emails could not have come at a better time and what they said meant alot. thank you!
i also spent some time yesterday talking to a friend who is currently going through a very difficult time. a situation that makes anything that i am currently going through seem like club med. i hope what i said made sense and i hope my friend continues to fight and doesn't give up.
fight the power friend... there is nothing that you can't handle and remember i'm always here should you need me.
peace
at this point in my prep we are working more of a higher rep training scheme. so we started off with 20 reps of stiffs. i had been experiencing some back discomfort from a couple of vertabrae that were misaligned. so i was none too suprised when, after my first set i noticed, a slight pain in an area just a few inches away from my spine. oddly enough i didnt feel any pain or discomfort while doing the exercise but at the conclusion of each set, and each exercise to follow, it hurt.
later while eating my post workout meal i started to notice that i was shaking more than usual. i noted it but i wasn't alarmed. on my way to work i felt really tired but as i usually don't sleep as poorly as i had the night before, i didn't make too much of it. by the time i got to work i was pretty sure something wasn't right. i felt really tired and quite dizzy. my 10:00 o'clock meal did not make me feel any better and by 11:30 am i was getting pretty concerned.
i gave my coach a call and he suggested that i eat again. we discussed the fact that i am not currently eating red meat all the while still training pretty hard. i've haven't been told to stop eating red meat nor have i become a vegetarian. its just that through the years that i have been living this lifestyle i have come to enjoy red meat less and less. i am at the point where i always choose chicken and am at a loss should there be no poultry on the menu.
my next meal did nothing to rectify the dizziness, so i wandered down to a nearby natural foods store and picked up a liquid iron supplement. i'd have to say about a half an hour after later i started to feel a definite improvement. training for saturday is off. it will be the first workout i will have missed since i started my show prep january 4th!
i got a couple of emails from some friends who have been reading my blog. what i read brought me a lot of joy. lately i've had cause to wonder if i was lousy judge of character. i guess maybe i just don't always pick the best people to trust. but i'm happy to report that along with the bad i've also made some really good choices. those emails could not have come at a better time and what they said meant alot. thank you!
i also spent some time yesterday talking to a friend who is currently going through a very difficult time. a situation that makes anything that i am currently going through seem like club med. i hope what i said made sense and i hope my friend continues to fight and doesn't give up.
fight the power friend... there is nothing that you can't handle and remember i'm always here should you need me.
peace
Thursday, April 06, 2006
whats the miche-ine?
before i get started today i thought i'd explain the whole miche-ine thing. first of all i have not taken leave of my senses and secondly i am not experiencing a wave of conceit. basically the guys at evolution skate park, (which once upon a time was my home away from home), started calling me that my last season of summer camp. it was, i believe, their way of expressing their respect of my dedication and determination to my healthy living lifestyle. since the camp and the park are now gone, resurrecting 'the miche-ine' was just my way of fondly remembering the past.
today is thursday, a training off day. i am quite ambivalent about my off days. i spend most of the day chomping at the bit, almost unable to supress the desire to train. but i am required to have two of these off days a week. on one hand it does allow me to sleep in a bit. the lay off will serve me well as i currently have a few areas that require the services of both my massage and sport physiotherapists.
last night i went in for a follow-up with my nutritionist. i went in expecting that he would shave off another 150 calories and add more cardio to my training day. he had hoped that the changes we made 3 weeks ago would have had my weight down by 3lbs. i went in about 2lbs lighter than what i thought our goal was. but even though the scale isn't moving in the way i expect i can see very definite changes in my physique. and more importantly so could he!!!! as far as he is concerned we are very much on target. there is still lots of time to go and he intends to bring me in as full as he can. the idea being to be 'ready' early and cruise the last few weeks into the show.
we talked about the importance of consistancy as far as show prep is concerned. somehow i'm going to have to maintain consistant sleep patterns, (this by far is my greatest challenge to date) and control my stress level, (i.e. not freak out at every little thing... ok maybe this is my greatest challenge).
today is thursday, a training off day. i am quite ambivalent about my off days. i spend most of the day chomping at the bit, almost unable to supress the desire to train. but i am required to have two of these off days a week. on one hand it does allow me to sleep in a bit. the lay off will serve me well as i currently have a few areas that require the services of both my massage and sport physiotherapists.
last night i went in for a follow-up with my nutritionist. i went in expecting that he would shave off another 150 calories and add more cardio to my training day. he had hoped that the changes we made 3 weeks ago would have had my weight down by 3lbs. i went in about 2lbs lighter than what i thought our goal was. but even though the scale isn't moving in the way i expect i can see very definite changes in my physique. and more importantly so could he!!!! as far as he is concerned we are very much on target. there is still lots of time to go and he intends to bring me in as full as he can. the idea being to be 'ready' early and cruise the last few weeks into the show.
we talked about the importance of consistancy as far as show prep is concerned. somehow i'm going to have to maintain consistant sleep patterns, (this by far is my greatest challenge to date) and control my stress level, (i.e. not freak out at every little thing... ok maybe this is my greatest challenge).
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
and so it begins...
well after weeks of deliberation and way more thought that probably is necessary i've finally decided to join the blog culture. what is this blog going to be about? well specifically it will be about my journey to the stage. now there may be some of you reading this who have not yet heard the news, so i will pause briefly while you pick your jaws up off of the floor.
yes that is right, despite years of adamantly and emphatically stating that i would never, ever, ever strip down to my underwear and compete, this summer i am doing just that! i guess how it happened doesn't really matter. but what you need to know is that i've been dieting for this show since february 24th and i've been training for this show since january 4th. my boss at the gym is in charge of my training, my routine and likely the production of my music. the diet and cardio are responsibility of the same guy i've been using since i started this healthy lifestyle. which i think means there is a lot less 'guess work' as we bring me in for this show.
likely the next natural question is, when is the show. well as odd as this may sound, i have not announced the show date. there are a select few who do know when it is and they are; my trainer, my nutritionist, the woman making my suits, my good friend in new jersey and the woman who used to be my training partner (but i can guarantee you that she doesn't remember and couldn't tell you even if her very life depended upon it).
as the whole entire show prep process is new to me, i really just want to focus on that. in fact i haven't told very many people that i am even doing a show. truth be told i deny that i'm prepping for a show whenever i am asked by co-workers and club members. i just want to focus on what i've got to do, to make sure i step on stage with the best possible package i can bring. i fear that i may lose focus if i allow myself to be distracted or allow myself to get lulled into a false sense of security.
there is something i've noticed in my travels on the many bodybuilding boards. it seems everybody wants to win their pro card. now that is a very impressive goal, but i can't say that it is one of mine. my current goal is this one show. i don't even know if i'm going to like competitive bodybuilding so it seems a tad premature to consider such a lofty aspiration.
as well, i've already lived the life of a pro athlete in a sport that was not embraced by the main stream. for many years i competed on the ASA pro tour and even though i was a pro athlete i still kept a 9-5 job and i spent far more money competiting than i ever made. those of you who 'know' about bodybuilding will know how familiar this sounds, the reality is, the streets are lined with gold for only a select few, (and whats worse the industry itself barely tolerates female bodybuilding). don't get me wrong my years on the tour were some of the best of my life and if i had it all to do over again, i would. i also have to admit that it was kind of nice to be a 'pro' skater, even though the reality was that title really didn't mean a dayumm thing.
so stay tuned if your interested, or lose this URL if your not. at the very least this is just a place on the web for me record my thoughts and chronicle my journey.
yes that is right, despite years of adamantly and emphatically stating that i would never, ever, ever strip down to my underwear and compete, this summer i am doing just that! i guess how it happened doesn't really matter. but what you need to know is that i've been dieting for this show since february 24th and i've been training for this show since january 4th. my boss at the gym is in charge of my training, my routine and likely the production of my music. the diet and cardio are responsibility of the same guy i've been using since i started this healthy lifestyle. which i think means there is a lot less 'guess work' as we bring me in for this show.
likely the next natural question is, when is the show. well as odd as this may sound, i have not announced the show date. there are a select few who do know when it is and they are; my trainer, my nutritionist, the woman making my suits, my good friend in new jersey and the woman who used to be my training partner (but i can guarantee you that she doesn't remember and couldn't tell you even if her very life depended upon it).
as the whole entire show prep process is new to me, i really just want to focus on that. in fact i haven't told very many people that i am even doing a show. truth be told i deny that i'm prepping for a show whenever i am asked by co-workers and club members. i just want to focus on what i've got to do, to make sure i step on stage with the best possible package i can bring. i fear that i may lose focus if i allow myself to be distracted or allow myself to get lulled into a false sense of security.
there is something i've noticed in my travels on the many bodybuilding boards. it seems everybody wants to win their pro card. now that is a very impressive goal, but i can't say that it is one of mine. my current goal is this one show. i don't even know if i'm going to like competitive bodybuilding so it seems a tad premature to consider such a lofty aspiration.
as well, i've already lived the life of a pro athlete in a sport that was not embraced by the main stream. for many years i competed on the ASA pro tour and even though i was a pro athlete i still kept a 9-5 job and i spent far more money competiting than i ever made. those of you who 'know' about bodybuilding will know how familiar this sounds, the reality is, the streets are lined with gold for only a select few, (and whats worse the industry itself barely tolerates female bodybuilding). don't get me wrong my years on the tour were some of the best of my life and if i had it all to do over again, i would. i also have to admit that it was kind of nice to be a 'pro' skater, even though the reality was that title really didn't mean a dayumm thing.
so stay tuned if your interested, or lose this URL if your not. at the very least this is just a place on the web for me record my thoughts and chronicle my journey.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)