the results are in.
i spoke with the sports doctor last friday. my first reaction was raw terror, which might seem a tad unusual since i actually don't require a surgical procedure. the issue is that the cartilage in my knee has degenerated, in fact it is worn through in some places.
you can't grow more cartilage and it doesn't regenerate. so what do they do for this? a procedure called viscosupplementation. they insert a synthetic synovial fluid behind my knee cap. the fluid will hopefully provide 'cushion' within the joint, increase my range of motion and lessen my pain. each treatment is a series of three shots, one per week for three weeks.
i have been researching the treatment option and the 'fluid'. i will be honest, my concern is if this will allow me to return to training as i know it. whether i can continue to train and/or compete has no bearing on if i start viscosupplementation. there is no choice. without it, as the cartilage continues to deteriorate, the pain will increase and my range of motion will continue to decrease.
the sports doctor does not work with strength athletes. he can only guess that continuing to train will increase how frequently i will need to get this done. this treatment is not a cure but a stop gap. i guess the fluid breaks down over time and needs to be replaced.
but what truly rocked my world was the revelation that many people who have gone this route, do so to hold off on getting a total knee replacement. fawk me!!
to add insult to injury, my legs are shrinking down to the size of raisins. the left moreso than the right. i've been trying to work within my ROM to lift as heavy as i can to preserve my muscle mass. but i haven't been able to train properly since the middle of september... and it shows.
today's title is a lyric from queen's hammer to fall.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
i feel like the walls are closin' in
i NEVER want to do that again. that SUCKED!!! i just got back home from the MRI and it was no fun. i was put into the machine feet first. the technician thought that my head would stick out, but he was wrong.
as you know i looked up the process on youtube and i even googled the machine to know the approximate dimensions. however, i was still unprepared for how tight a fit is optimum for this test.
i lay on the table with my hands across my chest. in my hand there was a panic button that i am still amazed i didn't squeeze. my right foot, both my elbows and my hands were touching the inside of the machine. it literally felt like being buried alive. when he first slid me inside my heart rate seriously spiked and i started to panic. i turned my head towards the opening as much as i could and then shut my eyes. he suggested that i imagine myself somewhere else. i didn't think i was going to be able to pull that one off, so instead i tried to count backwards from 10,000. i got to about 9,430 before i was removed from the machine.
anyway it's done and now i wait until the 13th to get the results.
i'd also like to add the test happened well over 2 hours ago and i am still shaking like a leaf.
as you know i looked up the process on youtube and i even googled the machine to know the approximate dimensions. however, i was still unprepared for how tight a fit is optimum for this test.
i lay on the table with my hands across my chest. in my hand there was a panic button that i am still amazed i didn't squeeze. my right foot, both my elbows and my hands were touching the inside of the machine. it literally felt like being buried alive. when he first slid me inside my heart rate seriously spiked and i started to panic. i turned my head towards the opening as much as i could and then shut my eyes. he suggested that i imagine myself somewhere else. i didn't think i was going to be able to pull that one off, so instead i tried to count backwards from 10,000. i got to about 9,430 before i was removed from the machine.
anyway it's done and now i wait until the 13th to get the results.
i'd also like to add the test happened well over 2 hours ago and i am still shaking like a leaf.
up on the good foot
it was four days after my last blog posting that i was kicked out of rehab. not because i graduated out successfully and not because i ran out of money to pay. it wasn't working and if i was correctly diagnosed there should have been marked improvement by that time. i was given an appointment for the following week to see the sports doctor again.
once again he tested and re-tested my knee. he concurred that there had to be something else going on in that knee. none of the tests he performed gave a real indication what the problem was, but still i could not even squat my body weight on one leg. so he ordered the MRI. the notification from the hospital said that my MRI would be conducted 85 days later. i called in to see about getting placed on a cancellation list, but they don't keep one. they are a 24 hour facility, i don't really think that they even have staff to man the phones. either way the lady who answered checked to see if anyone had canceled and my MRI is going to be done later today.
i've spent the last few days scouring youtube for videos on MRI's. to know what to expect and to see how much space i will have. there is a warning in my information packet about people with claustrophobia. which i have but i am counting on a few things. mostly that i will be put in feet first. if it is open on either end then i should be able to deal if they put me in head first. and mostly that i know that i can't get where i need to go without this piece of the puzzle... so my plan is to attack it like i attack any gym challenge... i will attempt to soldier through.
it probably won't surprise too many to learn that i have yet to tell any of my family members what i am going through. sure they have seen the limping and the weird way i negotiate stairs. they've heard and seen my yelp suddenly and grab my knee. when they have asked so far i haven't been too forthcoming with information. why? well there has been a pretty consistant sentiment thus far from anyone who has heard about my injury.
'well with the amount of weight your lifting, something like that had to happen.'
yes i admit that i do not waste my time in the gym lifting what i can easily and without challenge. i am trying to add muscle mass to my frame and i simply can't do that with a low weight, high rep scenario. as well i am not a novice, nor am i an idiot. i do not attempt to lift weights that i haven't worked up to, or that i am not prepared to lift. can i say for a fact that this didn't happen because of the weight training? no i cannot but i also can't say for certain that it is the cause of it either.
fact during my growth phase i developed a condition called osgood schlatters disease as i understand it i basically grew bones first. my muscles and tendons didn't grow at the same rate so there was less cushion in the joint and i suspect less stability. i was an active child involved in a lot of sports up until that time. a lot of high impact activities. after i was able to resume my active lifestyle i got involved with more high impact sports softball, alpine skiing, rollerblading, off road moutain biking. who is to say that the original cause of injury wasn't based on any of those factors?
either way what caused it, is irrelevant. the fact is that something in there is amiss and needs to be fixed. at some point some form of surgical procedure is going to be performed and at that time i am going to have to tell my family what is going on. i can take myself to the hospital for the MRI, but there is no way i will be released after surgery without someone to take me home. but know that if i could... i would.
wish me luck.
once again he tested and re-tested my knee. he concurred that there had to be something else going on in that knee. none of the tests he performed gave a real indication what the problem was, but still i could not even squat my body weight on one leg. so he ordered the MRI. the notification from the hospital said that my MRI would be conducted 85 days later. i called in to see about getting placed on a cancellation list, but they don't keep one. they are a 24 hour facility, i don't really think that they even have staff to man the phones. either way the lady who answered checked to see if anyone had canceled and my MRI is going to be done later today.
i've spent the last few days scouring youtube for videos on MRI's. to know what to expect and to see how much space i will have. there is a warning in my information packet about people with claustrophobia. which i have but i am counting on a few things. mostly that i will be put in feet first. if it is open on either end then i should be able to deal if they put me in head first. and mostly that i know that i can't get where i need to go without this piece of the puzzle... so my plan is to attack it like i attack any gym challenge... i will attempt to soldier through.
it probably won't surprise too many to learn that i have yet to tell any of my family members what i am going through. sure they have seen the limping and the weird way i negotiate stairs. they've heard and seen my yelp suddenly and grab my knee. when they have asked so far i haven't been too forthcoming with information. why? well there has been a pretty consistant sentiment thus far from anyone who has heard about my injury.
'well with the amount of weight your lifting, something like that had to happen.'
yes i admit that i do not waste my time in the gym lifting what i can easily and without challenge. i am trying to add muscle mass to my frame and i simply can't do that with a low weight, high rep scenario. as well i am not a novice, nor am i an idiot. i do not attempt to lift weights that i haven't worked up to, or that i am not prepared to lift. can i say for a fact that this didn't happen because of the weight training? no i cannot but i also can't say for certain that it is the cause of it either.
fact during my growth phase i developed a condition called osgood schlatters disease as i understand it i basically grew bones first. my muscles and tendons didn't grow at the same rate so there was less cushion in the joint and i suspect less stability. i was an active child involved in a lot of sports up until that time. a lot of high impact activities. after i was able to resume my active lifestyle i got involved with more high impact sports softball, alpine skiing, rollerblading, off road moutain biking. who is to say that the original cause of injury wasn't based on any of those factors?
either way what caused it, is irrelevant. the fact is that something in there is amiss and needs to be fixed. at some point some form of surgical procedure is going to be performed and at that time i am going to have to tell my family what is going on. i can take myself to the hospital for the MRI, but there is no way i will be released after surgery without someone to take me home. but know that if i could... i would.
wish me luck.
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