and still i rise

since my last post my knee has been diagnosed and i know what i need to do to get back on track. i will be seeing terri twice a week for a while. in another 5-7 weeks i will have a follow up with my sports doctor. he currently has me on a 40 degree range-of-motion limitation.

originally i b!tched and complained about the limit while simultaneously fearing the muscle loss. well it turns out that i couldn't break 40 degrees right now even if i wanted to, checking my actual range-of-motion was something we worked on today. anything greater than 40 degrees felt like an icepick was being driven through my knee.

i've had to make the necessary changes on the gym floor. it requires a bit of creativity on my part and a lot of searches for exercise variations. my friend has been trying to knock into my thick head, that this is merely a blip on the radar screen. i fear her arms will tire long before i get it.

i had a couple of leads last week for contract positions but unfortunately they didn't pan out. i am still at home looking for my next gig. i am also now looking for something part-time, the question is what? i know that the last time i tried to work part-time i got really sick when i got a full-time gig. but i think i know where i went wrong last time and should be able to avoid that in the future.

i am hovering around 169 so that means i am still within my range. i have still been having my cheat meals but i haven't been taking pictures. it doesn't make sense really as at this point i'm just fulfilling odd cravings. case in point, i have already purchased this saturday's fare.

while i was in the grocery store i ran into one of the guys from the gym. he looked at me oddly. i explained that i haven't had kraft dinner in a really long time. then he tossed back his head and laughed at me. yes, i know kraft dinner sounds like a really odd cheat meal but it is what i want dayum it. ;-P

i haven't figured out the dessert choice. part of me would enjoy a mccains deep n' delicious chocolate cake or maybe one from pepperidge farms. but that is way too much cake for me to eat by myself in a single sitting. i am toying with the idea of going for one of those cinnabon's though.

my mother has been coughing lately. it's really horrific sounding. it was this return of her asthma that prompted her doctor to prescribe what we think may have been behind her recent t.i.a. suffice it to say i worry a lot these days.

until next time...

another brick in the wall

remember the last post how i told you that my knee wasn't getting in the way of my training. well that was then, and this is now.

i was at the gym earlier today. it was my quad workout and i was doing my squat warm up. my first set was 135 lbs and i did an easy 3 reps. felt good, no pain, no twinges. went up to 225 lbs and did another easy 3 reps. still felt good, no pain, no twinges. went up to 275 lbs, put on the belt, which is usually where i put it on, i don't need it at this weight but its where i start to use it. started to squat when all of a sudden my knee buckled under me. i had set the safeties and they caught the weight, as of course they are designed to do.

so i ducked my head out from under the bar and i laid on the ground for a while. then i took out my phone and i gave terri a call. she said that it was time to get an x-ray because i might be looking at something a bit more serious than we first thought.

to quote florida evans "dayummmm, dayummmm, dayummmm!!!!!"

i tell you i need this like i need a hole in the head. oh speaking of holes in the head. ironically enough i lost a filling in the week and i now have a new hole in my molar. i haven't gone to get it fixed yet, since i'm not working yet and all.

anyway, here is the edited video from the deadlift session mentioned in my previous blog.

i still do bad, all by myself

there was good news this week. they called me back to work for a few days. two and a half days work isn't a lot but it definitely beats the opposite.

both my knee and my shoulder haven't been restricting my activities as much as usual. so i am really starting to feel in a pretty good place about that and life in general.

things with my mother appear to be as normal as before. to the point where she is starting to see the humour in the event two weeks ago. i can't speak for the rest of us with a certainty, but i am fairly confident that none of the rest of us see the humour. moments ago she was on the phone telling her friends how 'we almost lost her' a couple weeks ago. yes, i get that finding humour in it, helps her get perspective on it. but what really still gets me is her ability to continue to defend her choice not to go to the hospital. in spite of the fact that everyone including her doctor gave her sh!t for not going.

yesterday i had hopes of setting a huge deadlift pr. unfortunately that was not how my training day turned out. on the upside i did set a personal best, it just wasn't the goal i'd had in mind. and since we know i already slant that way, yesterday my glass was half empty.

well there has been more fall-out from the upheaval of the bodybuilding governing bodies in ontario. the 2010 natural canadians, or the world qualifier as it is officially known, was scheduled to be in my home province. however it is now going to be in laval, quebec in april. the question is, what am i going to do? i really won't have to make an official decision until november 3rd.

the 'i walk alone' behaviour continues. yes, still. i have some people telling me that i shouldn't be concerned by it and other people giving me sh!t for not visiting. it occurs to me that this is one of the few times in my life where i've had so many things going on at once. a hell of a lot of things on my mind, so maybe it does make sense that spending more time alone is what i need?

all i know for sure is yesterday i rode my bike to the oakville bike meet, i actually turned into the parking lot, looked at the line of bikes, and i kept on going. i ended up in port credit sitting on a log at the water's edge watching the canadian geese.