i had made a promise to myself to post religously every sunday. if you look back over the past few posts you can see i managed to do that for all of two or three weeks. life got a little nutty on me and i've been having more than my fair share of trouble posting anything anywhere... and/or replying to emails.
as you may remember my freelance gig suddenly got slow and i was spending more time at home than i was at work. eventually i made the decision to take on more hours at the gym to tide me over until worked picked up. murphy is alive and well btw, no sooner had i changed my gym schedule did the freelance gig call up and say they were busy. i decided not to undo the changes i made at the gym and as it turns out the freelance gig was a case of 'false' labour.
well the gym as much as it helped wasn't really cutting it and my clients were falling off again. so when i got a call from the agency about a lead on a full-time position downtown i quasi-leapt at the opportunity. i have a freelance position to try the place out, for a while before making my final decision.
i needed to get out of my tuesday gym shift, which the gym was able to oblige. while i was trying to organize my schedule, the previous freelance gig called and once again claimed to be busy and in need of my services. i can't remember if it was a 2 or 3 days work before once again things dried up.
the downtown freelance gig seems to be going well enough. the work is not difficult. it does, in it's favour, offer the opportunity to learn flash and dreamweaver. which could potentially lead to me getting into webdesign... which i might enjoy more than what i do now. the downside is that it is still very much downtown, it's corporate design so i have to dress 'up' and it will be a good 8 weeks until i start to see some money.
trust me when i tell you i do not currently have enough cash to wait 8 weeks to be paid. i'm working 8-4 pm downtown. the plan is to allow myself enough time to get to the gym monday's and tuesday's to work 6-9 pm. as well as to be at the gym early enough on thursdays to finish my workout before my 7:30 pm training appointment. i still have to train monday night's so i likely won't be in bed to till near 1 am tuesday.
last week was a combination of all three jobs and i'm sure you won't be suprised to learn that i spent most of the weekend completely exhausted.
i am also quite concerned about some nasty little business at the gym. frankly it has me thinking it might be time to start seeing what other gym's in the city have to offer. the upside at finding someplace new to train could mean that i might finally get rid of the albatross that continues to haunt me. the legacy of my old training partner. nary a week goes by that someone doesn't suddenly remember her and our marathon training bouts of old.
there are things i know, that are not 'public' knowledge. although a quick google search would pretty much tell you everything you wanted to know and more!!! out of some twisted form of loyalty i temper my responses to their queries so as not to let the 'cat out of the bag'. which is really quite amusing since it is quite obvious from the internet, that she is quite delighted with her new found infamy.
now there is always the suggestion that i somehow could not 'keep up' or that she was so much more of a 'hardcore trainer' than i was. i will accept that towards the end she was pushing way more weight around than i was. but, in my defence, we had different styles of training. wherein she subscribed to the 'by any means necessary' school i was and will always be 'form first'. i will not say that either way is right or wrong. i do know of people who have made excellent gains with what our sport calls the 'cheat' rep. and i do feel that i've made many a gain without the 'cheat' rep.
as far as training goes i have news. the good, the bad and the ugly. the good; i've got strength gains through the roof. i have almost tied or bested most of my last off season's personal best's. the good; i can honestly say that i see improvements in my calves and i am pretty sure my pecs as well. the good; i can still see my musculature even though i am off season.
the bad; i hurt myself on wednesday night doing push presses. although 75lbs is a fairly 'easy' lift for me 85lbs is clearly over my... well... head. :p i continued to train even though as the days progressed my range of motion decreased. until i could barely turn my head to the right or touch my chin to my chest. and even after getting treatment i was in no position to squat, so i didn't train at all today.
the ugly; i am well past my off season weight cap of 155lbs. it's wierd i'm eating 2100 calories and i'm still over 160lbs. but i don't look like i did last off season. in fact i went for a ride today and i easily fit into my leathers. last year putting them on meant passing on the luxury of breathing. now before you suggest that the excess weight is merely water and/or worry weight, allow me to add that my coach recently asked me what i weighed and what i was planning on 'going up to'. which suggests to me that he is starting to get concerned.
a friend saw me last weekend. and though she noted that i was holding weight in my mid-section, (which is usually where it goes), she didn't seem to think i was alarmingly off season. this is comforting, as she is not one to tell you what you want to hear.
hopefully this new work situation pans out and my finances stablize. and maybe then i can find out once and for all how much of this is water/worry weight.
finally, as i mentioned i went for a lovely brisk fall ride today. just my best girl (jade) and i. i am also pleased to announce that the odometer now reads 81882 kms. i put her away last season at 76995 kms. i am a mere 113 kms from a 5000 km season!!!
i better get my azz to bed... it will be 5:45 am before i know it.
oh yeah... lot's of footage up on youtube... i'd post links but i don't have the time. just go to youtube and do a search for michesk8r. happy viewing!!!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
thanks for that... not!
i hate that sh!t, i really do.
i don't think i ever told this story before. first, i am loyal, just in case you don't already know that about me. second, my coach has gone above and beyond on my behalf countless times in near 8 years. to the point where i know i will never be able to repay the debt, (fyi, my coach insists there is no debt).
years back, i honestly don't remember how many, i used to have a friend. i say used to because she put me in the unfortunate postion of having to choose between her and my boss... i chose my boss. at the time i worked at the gym full-time. i was also broke as fawk and in no position to be unemployed in any capacity.
my 'friend' found out that she could save a couple of bucks at the tanning salon if she got me to buy her sh!t. i hated myself for it, but i did it. after which i was racked with guilt and i seriously considered going to my boss with the $5 or $10 saving and 'fess up. i spoke to a few other friends who talked me out of it. they reminded me that as an employee i was entitled to the staff discount. they felt as long as i didn't do it again i could and should put the incident behind me.
fast forward a few months, her out of town boyfriend is due to arrive. she asks me about getting him a free trial membership. i tell her that he doesn't qualify as he is not a resident of the greater toronto area, and is not likely to purchase a membership after his free trial. i told her she could purchase a $35 week pass or $10/day single visits. she simply smiled and told me that she would give her mailing address to whomever was working when he signed up.
i was on the gym floor training the day she brought him in. the guy working balked because the out of country address on the drivers license did not match the mailing address given. the guy working went to ask my boss what he should do. my boss recognized my friend and had heard me speak in the past of her out of town boyfriend. while they were speaking another staff member stupidly approved the transaction. likely because my 'friend' dropped my name.
guess what happened? i got to endure a series of lectures from my boss on how i was responsible for how my friends conduct themselves in the gym. twice during that workout he stopped me to talk about it. once when i was speaking with one of my clients. the next morning as i was training a client, he pulled me aside and lectured me further.
how did i handle it? i was enraged. while they two of them were still training on the gym floor i left her a voicemail message. i told her that i got in sh!t due to her shenanigans and that i could no longer afford to have her as a friend. thereby ending the friendship. i did get a couple of teary voicemails that i never returned. mostly because every fawkin' time i was in the gym i received yet another lecture.
there are many who have since told me that i reacted badly, that i should have talked to her. however, i am comfortable with my decision. i don't need friends who are willing to gamble with my ability to support myself all for a $10 savings!!!
so what brought this up?
i missed a call from a friend, while i was training today. i texted back that i was in the middle of training but that i would call him back during my shift. well my friend shows up during my shift and he has someone with him, who he hoped i would let in for free. i let him in only after he handed over the $10 day rate. i seriously hate being put in that position. i know i did the right thing...
so why do i still feel so guilty?
i don't think i ever told this story before. first, i am loyal, just in case you don't already know that about me. second, my coach has gone above and beyond on my behalf countless times in near 8 years. to the point where i know i will never be able to repay the debt, (fyi, my coach insists there is no debt).
years back, i honestly don't remember how many, i used to have a friend. i say used to because she put me in the unfortunate postion of having to choose between her and my boss... i chose my boss. at the time i worked at the gym full-time. i was also broke as fawk and in no position to be unemployed in any capacity.
my 'friend' found out that she could save a couple of bucks at the tanning salon if she got me to buy her sh!t. i hated myself for it, but i did it. after which i was racked with guilt and i seriously considered going to my boss with the $5 or $10 saving and 'fess up. i spoke to a few other friends who talked me out of it. they reminded me that as an employee i was entitled to the staff discount. they felt as long as i didn't do it again i could and should put the incident behind me.
fast forward a few months, her out of town boyfriend is due to arrive. she asks me about getting him a free trial membership. i tell her that he doesn't qualify as he is not a resident of the greater toronto area, and is not likely to purchase a membership after his free trial. i told her she could purchase a $35 week pass or $10/day single visits. she simply smiled and told me that she would give her mailing address to whomever was working when he signed up.
i was on the gym floor training the day she brought him in. the guy working balked because the out of country address on the drivers license did not match the mailing address given. the guy working went to ask my boss what he should do. my boss recognized my friend and had heard me speak in the past of her out of town boyfriend. while they were speaking another staff member stupidly approved the transaction. likely because my 'friend' dropped my name.
guess what happened? i got to endure a series of lectures from my boss on how i was responsible for how my friends conduct themselves in the gym. twice during that workout he stopped me to talk about it. once when i was speaking with one of my clients. the next morning as i was training a client, he pulled me aside and lectured me further.
how did i handle it? i was enraged. while they two of them were still training on the gym floor i left her a voicemail message. i told her that i got in sh!t due to her shenanigans and that i could no longer afford to have her as a friend. thereby ending the friendship. i did get a couple of teary voicemails that i never returned. mostly because every fawkin' time i was in the gym i received yet another lecture.
there are many who have since told me that i reacted badly, that i should have talked to her. however, i am comfortable with my decision. i don't need friends who are willing to gamble with my ability to support myself all for a $10 savings!!!
so what brought this up?
i missed a call from a friend, while i was training today. i texted back that i was in the middle of training but that i would call him back during my shift. well my friend shows up during my shift and he has someone with him, who he hoped i would let in for free. i let him in only after he handed over the $10 day rate. i seriously hate being put in that position. i know i did the right thing...
so why do i still feel so guilty?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
holiday monday
today i talked someone out of competiting. you might be wondering why? you might even wonder where i get off. i'll tell you.
plenty of competitive athlete's have developed eating disorders. it's really not that hard to imagine, we routinely bounce between two conditions; one with a healthy level of bodyfat and the other, the extreme look of stage. somehow on the road to depletion we start to equate the stage look with being 'in shape' and the offseason look as 'fat'.
well guess what? you can't, nor should you, try to sustain your stage look. it's just not healthy. you are literally starving yourself... pushing your body to do more and more work while giving it less and less food. and then one day it's over and it's time to start eating properly. i tell you it is indeed a strange feeling to wake up looking healthy all the while feeling like a fat pig!
still what's the big deal with letting someone try to compete? well with all the stress, the damage that we do to our bodies in the quest for the perfect physique and for microscopic levels of bodyfat... you really have to be sure your in it for the right reasons.
i sat down for a bite a few weeks back with a friend who did a show. she started prepping to see what it was like, to see if she could. many times during the journey, when she realized it was the hardest thing she ever tried to do, she seriously considered quitting. except in doing so, she felt she would let her boyfriend down and so she saw it through... all the way to the bitter end. after the show, she couldn't handle the weight gain. she ate the food she craved... but couldn't stomach being out of stage shape. and thus she found herself in the wonderful world of bulimia.
so what does what happened to one competitor have to do with another? maybe everything, maybe nothing but i do know that this 'competitor' is looking for a goal. a way to help him stay motivated to diet. yes folks, that dayumm show prep diet again. how do i convince people that this lifestyle is so not the recipe for success people expect it to be?
what did i tell him? i told him, by all means train like a bber. run a cutting diet once a year to see what you look like. but do not prep and compete unless you really and truly want the competitive bb lifestyle. there is NOTHING healthy about show prep. when you sit down and consider all the cons... you really start to wonder why people bother; suits, food, supplementation, tanning, diet coaches, training coaches, posing coaches, entry fees, membership fees, gym memberships, hotel and travel expenses, the all out frontal assault on your metabolism, the onseason and offseason wardrobes, photoshoot wardrobes, etc... all for a $10 trophy. but for those of us who live and breathe the challenge, who truly appreciate the beauty of the sport... it truly is worth it.
but it still isn't for everyone.
plenty of competitive athlete's have developed eating disorders. it's really not that hard to imagine, we routinely bounce between two conditions; one with a healthy level of bodyfat and the other, the extreme look of stage. somehow on the road to depletion we start to equate the stage look with being 'in shape' and the offseason look as 'fat'.
well guess what? you can't, nor should you, try to sustain your stage look. it's just not healthy. you are literally starving yourself... pushing your body to do more and more work while giving it less and less food. and then one day it's over and it's time to start eating properly. i tell you it is indeed a strange feeling to wake up looking healthy all the while feeling like a fat pig!
still what's the big deal with letting someone try to compete? well with all the stress, the damage that we do to our bodies in the quest for the perfect physique and for microscopic levels of bodyfat... you really have to be sure your in it for the right reasons.
i sat down for a bite a few weeks back with a friend who did a show. she started prepping to see what it was like, to see if she could. many times during the journey, when she realized it was the hardest thing she ever tried to do, she seriously considered quitting. except in doing so, she felt she would let her boyfriend down and so she saw it through... all the way to the bitter end. after the show, she couldn't handle the weight gain. she ate the food she craved... but couldn't stomach being out of stage shape. and thus she found herself in the wonderful world of bulimia.
so what does what happened to one competitor have to do with another? maybe everything, maybe nothing but i do know that this 'competitor' is looking for a goal. a way to help him stay motivated to diet. yes folks, that dayumm show prep diet again. how do i convince people that this lifestyle is so not the recipe for success people expect it to be?
what did i tell him? i told him, by all means train like a bber. run a cutting diet once a year to see what you look like. but do not prep and compete unless you really and truly want the competitive bb lifestyle. there is NOTHING healthy about show prep. when you sit down and consider all the cons... you really start to wonder why people bother; suits, food, supplementation, tanning, diet coaches, training coaches, posing coaches, entry fees, membership fees, gym memberships, hotel and travel expenses, the all out frontal assault on your metabolism, the onseason and offseason wardrobes, photoshoot wardrobes, etc... all for a $10 trophy. but for those of us who live and breathe the challenge, who truly appreciate the beauty of the sport... it truly is worth it.
but it still isn't for everyone.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
random thoughts
first thing i want to mention is something i noticed yesterday while en route to the gym. someone was driving a stretched hummer. now on a good day i find a hummer to be an unattractive vehicle. however when you stretch it 15 or 20 feet long you really only end up with a rolling block of ugly!!!
i found a female member on a bench in the locker room today. she appeared to have a compress on her head. i was quite relieved to discover that she was fine and merely resting. earlier in the week i had the misfortune of being the first employee to happen upon some 3D art that some random member had created all over the handicapped stall... and i do mean all over. such a bold and vibrant use of green bean and bile... a true artist. a leg workout had proved to be too much and she projectile puked everywhere. you can tell she tried, in vain, to clean it up as evidenced by the wads of puke soaked toilet paper that was clogging the bowl. so guess what i did for cardio that day? 45 minutes of mopping and plunging... yippee!! of course the question remains why didn't she report it?
i have some good news for you. i've had a design project. i've been working on a logo design for the photographer who did my last photo shoot. well i'm happy to report we have a winner. it's not the design treatment that i like, which is frequently the way in this business. anyway that means the next project on the agenda is the website. where said photo's will finally be up on display.
originally i could come up with no valid reason for having a website. i mean i am by no means a lenda murray and frankly i have a hard time imagining what i would even do with one... or who would even look at it. sometimes i actually wonder who is even reading this blog, ya know? recently a television commercial audition came my way. as it happened i was unable to make the audtion, but i realize now that i could have supplied my url to the casting director. don't get me wrong i don't expected that it would have changed the outcome in any way... but all im saying is, i can finally see a use.
the interesting part will be getting used to the muscle fans. not so much as fans of the sport, so much as fans of women of muscle. those usually referred to as schmoes. i am a simple girl with simple tastes and a personal code not too far removed from half-pint on the little house on the prairie. a lot of things freak me out. like the marriage proposals i get on myspace from guys, thankfully... i am not really ready to be fielding proposals from women... but i digress. there haven't been all that many proposals but i have had a few. usually my intended does not yet speak or write a whole lot of english. i'm sure it goes without mention that i'm not quite interested in communicating in the international language of love.
on the work front things have been a tad spooky for a bit. for the last little while i have been at home waiting to be called back into work. eventually i hit my breaking point and i went into the gym and picked up more staff hours. of course the very next day work called me back in. however, it is still pretty spotty so i am not making any changes to my gym schedule until things get back to normal.
im off to bed. tomorrow is officially thanksgiving and i've got clients to train and a 5 hour shift at the gym. it is also a training day... as is most mondays. looking forward to that.
g'nite.
i found a female member on a bench in the locker room today. she appeared to have a compress on her head. i was quite relieved to discover that she was fine and merely resting. earlier in the week i had the misfortune of being the first employee to happen upon some 3D art that some random member had created all over the handicapped stall... and i do mean all over. such a bold and vibrant use of green bean and bile... a true artist. a leg workout had proved to be too much and she projectile puked everywhere. you can tell she tried, in vain, to clean it up as evidenced by the wads of puke soaked toilet paper that was clogging the bowl. so guess what i did for cardio that day? 45 minutes of mopping and plunging... yippee!! of course the question remains why didn't she report it?
i have some good news for you. i've had a design project. i've been working on a logo design for the photographer who did my last photo shoot. well i'm happy to report we have a winner. it's not the design treatment that i like, which is frequently the way in this business. anyway that means the next project on the agenda is the website. where said photo's will finally be up on display.
originally i could come up with no valid reason for having a website. i mean i am by no means a lenda murray and frankly i have a hard time imagining what i would even do with one... or who would even look at it. sometimes i actually wonder who is even reading this blog, ya know? recently a television commercial audition came my way. as it happened i was unable to make the audtion, but i realize now that i could have supplied my url to the casting director. don't get me wrong i don't expected that it would have changed the outcome in any way... but all im saying is, i can finally see a use.
the interesting part will be getting used to the muscle fans. not so much as fans of the sport, so much as fans of women of muscle. those usually referred to as schmoes. i am a simple girl with simple tastes and a personal code not too far removed from half-pint on the little house on the prairie. a lot of things freak me out. like the marriage proposals i get on myspace from guys, thankfully... i am not really ready to be fielding proposals from women... but i digress. there haven't been all that many proposals but i have had a few. usually my intended does not yet speak or write a whole lot of english. i'm sure it goes without mention that i'm not quite interested in communicating in the international language of love.
on the work front things have been a tad spooky for a bit. for the last little while i have been at home waiting to be called back into work. eventually i hit my breaking point and i went into the gym and picked up more staff hours. of course the very next day work called me back in. however, it is still pretty spotty so i am not making any changes to my gym schedule until things get back to normal.
im off to bed. tomorrow is officially thanksgiving and i've got clients to train and a 5 hour shift at the gym. it is also a training day... as is most mondays. looking forward to that.
g'nite.
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