take yourself to higher places

there is a lot to catch you up on. i think i will begin with the knee issue as it is number one with a bullet, on my list of things to focus on in 2010.

by now i have had all three orthovisc shots, the last one geing january 27th. so i am a few weeks post treatment and i am cautiously getting back into direct quad training. i have returned to my previous split of 3 training days on, one day off. although i have switched the order around a hair.

prior to the shots my quad training day was fairly limited. the only exercise i was capable of performing was a quarter squat, but i had to keep my ROM limited to 40 degrees. i would do somewhere in the neighbourhood of ten sets of partial squats and that would really be all that i could do.

post treatment the world has opened up a bit. i am still squatting high, as we call it, well above the 'hole'. i am also squatting ridiculously light for me i can handle a plate aside for 5 reps. this is a far cry from the 3 plates+ that i was doing before it all went to hell. but i have to continue to remind myself that i am still rehabbing and that rome was not built in a day. i am not limited by the weight of the bar, but rather my pain tolerance. anything more than 5 reps seems to really aggravate the knee and doing that intentionally just doesn't seem smart.

along with the high squats, i can use the hack squat machine and the horizontal sled press without pain. so far i am going the heaviest on the sled press. i suspect that i can use the leg press as well, but that was the first machine that i had difficulty using after my 'injury', so i have sort of been holding off on getting back to it.

which brings us to the next subject, my work situation. well i did have more than a handful of days on a freelance assignment with one of the most disorganized studio's that i have ever been in. as a contract artist it is not uncommon to spend much of your first day waiting, waiting for access to the equipment, waiting for your assignment, waiting for the assets for your assignment... but really this place... wow i have no words. they would book me for four concurrent days but then actually have me work every other day. they would give me a start time and then leave me idle for several hours, then next thing i know it is crunch time and i'm there till after 6 pm. anyway it was good to be working again, but my time there is done and i am continuing my search for regular, full-time employ. cross your fingers.

all in all my mood has still remained quite positive. sure i am battling a strange bug right now but other than that all is well with my world. i have friends with real problems and listening to what they are going through has helped me realize that as bad as it sometimes feels like it gets, it really could be a lot worse.

lets finish with good news. i already have my first 'client' for the 2010 bodybuilding season. the same guy who's routine i choreographed last year, he is the first one doing a show this coming year and has already confirmed that he will be doing a routine of my design. there are two more people at my gym potentially doing bodybuilding shows this season, so there could be another routine or two to do. again keep those digits crossed.

i am still trying to definitively see changes in my delts. i took another post shoulder workout shot on my cell phone and am trying to compare it with the post workout shot taken a month previous. it is really, really hard to shoot yourself post workout and it is even harder to shoot yourself exactly like you did the time before. so it is hard to see for sure if i am improving. when i look at myself in the mirror, in that narcissistic way that bodybuilders are reputed to have, i am confident that i am on the right track. yet when i compare the photos i am less sure. you be the judge. note: the january image is the one on the left.

it ain't easy but that's ok, cuz we hopeful

i am several days past my first treatment. i suppose the most important detail of note was that it actually didn't hurt. this was probably the greatest surprise of all. i mean when you imagine a hypodermic needle being inserted behind your knee cap, don't you just automatically think ouch? i know i did. if anything i would say that after a while the pressure of the orthovisc entering the cavity didn't feel the greatest but even that wasn't that big of a deal.

immediately post-injection walking was a challenge. i spent the evening with my knee elevated and on ice as per my medical recommendation. by thursday evening i was noticing how much easier it was to negotiate stairs and the commode. but beyond that i didn't try to test it.

i did my first workout friday evening and i went so far as to walk on the treadmill for about 20 mins. my knee didn't bother me at all throughout the workout but it didn't much care for the cardio. maybe i shouldn't have gone as long as 20 mins. because i required a lot of ice friday night and saturday a.m.

my 2nd post treatment workout was saturday afternoon. i didn't bother doing any cardio at all. i just got home from yet another cardio free workout. but today i actually trained legs. for quads all i did was hack squat for 10 reps. i just used the 'weight' of the empty machine and increased my ROM slightly. there were twinges but no real pain.

all and all i would say that i am pleased with the progress so far. and i expect this means it is only going to get better from here on in. hoowah!!!!!

hit me with your best shot!!!

well tomorrow is the big day. wednesday january 13, 2010 at 2:00 pm is the appointed time for my first orthovisc treatment. i will not lie, i did not sleep very well, if any at all last night. i don't imagine tonight will be any more restful.

the upside is after tomorrow i will know what the treatment is like and i am sure that the remaining shots in this series will be approached with a lot less terror. but it is the fear of the unknown. i know that it is a gel-like substance which means it has to be a fairly large gauged needle. i know that the needle is inserted behind me knee cap and this is where i start to get the proverbial heebie jeebies.

i haven't watched this, but this is what is going to happen to me tomorrow. i thought about watching it, i started to watch it... and then i decided against it. i guess i am a puppy. anyway here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAJ-JrmYCSc"

knows changes aren't permanent, but change is

i was supposed to pay attention to the lyrics of rush's tom sawyer today. well that is, if you believe in fate and i do. first the song featured predominately in a movie i was watching today and then when i was driving to the gym to train it played again. the boys of rush are a little cerebral for me, so i don't get all the symbolism in the song but what i do get... speaks to me.

things have been going a lot better for me of late. i don't know if it is because i am days out from finally starting my knee treatment, or perhaps it is because i have been working. not regularly but i have been working. to top it off training has been going really well also even my shoulder training day. shoulder day and i don't usually get along but as i said things have been much better even considering my schedule of late. the contract i've been on hasn't exactly subscribed to the typical 9-5 work day and i am getting to the gym at all kinds of hours.

i think that we are ruled by the fates. i think that situations, challenges and people come into our lives to direct us and steer us along the path we are to tread. sometimes the journey is easy and sometimes it is anything but, but no matter the road you hoe, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

i have no idea what comes next on this crazy rollercoaster called life. but i take comfort in the fact that through it all, i'm still standing.

everyday de bucket go a well, one day de bottom a go drop out

happy new year!!!! this is the time of year when we should all take stock of our win/loss columns from the previous year and figure out how to get more in the win column.

i am coming of off a couple of challenging years and i think my loss column far exceeds my win. which by my own definition means i have much to fix or focus on for 2010. off the top of my head my employment situation, my knee injury, all the friends i have lost, my feelings self worth and my relationship with my family.

you would think that i'd be moved to focus on them all but i don't think having that many balls in the air is prudent. yes, we are by nature social animals and not having decent relations with friends and family is no way to live. however there is someone i miss, someone i want desperately to get back. i want the miche i used to be, the one who started this blog. the one who fell in love with the sport of competitive bb, who wanted to get bigger and stronger her way.

somewhere along the way i lost that miche. perhaps it was the struggle i've had with money and regular employ, maybe it was the scare from this injury, maybe it was because i've always been so damned focused on having everyone like me that i often feel i can't be myself. either way she is a little lost right now and only through focusing on the things i can change, can i get her back.

in 12 days the treatment starts for my knee, which should eventually allow me to begin to train again with a full ROM. allowing me to regain some of the lost size and strength in my legs. i was pretty freaking close to a 405 lb deadlift and i would really like to make that pull a reality.

there is the feeling that the joblessness will make a recovery in 2010 and i could find myself working regularly again. frankly i think i disagree with puffy, it has been my experience that it is less money, mo' problems.

my goals for 2010, i wouldn't even call them resolutions because they aren't, it's not like i am quitting smoking or resolving to lose weight. i am simply going to get back to training as i used to and find regular employ. those two things alone should greatly improve my feelings of self worth.

if my friend pool fills out or if i find people i can be myself around, then that is great. people who understand that i use a lot of humour, some of which is self-deprecating but i feel that if you can't laugh at yourself then you have no business laughing at anyone else. if you feel that you shouldn't be laughing at anyone, then realize you have just put the entire comedy industry on the unemployment line. remember that through humour, through looking at ourselves change for the better is often made. and sometimes... sh!t is just funny.

i wish happiness, health, love and success to everyone. may 2010 be your best year yet. it is going to be mine!!!!