i was listening to a radio show yesterday, the dj was talking about 2007. he mentioned the futility of making reservations, he suggested instead to attack the new year. 'go and get' what you want in '07.
later last night i rented a movie. it wasn't a 'good' movie but the story was thought provoking. the hero in the movie had a history of hitting a modicum of success but he was forever held back by his fear of his success.
just when he should have done something to move forward to the next level, he would experience fear on a level he could not identify. he went surfing instead of to a meeting with a potential sponser. and he drank till he was sick the night before the big competition.
i've been thinking. there was never a missed meeting, nor any lapses in sobriety. but did i so fear failure that i sabotagued myself enough to not be truly successful? have i truly attacked what i wanted? have i ever truly attacked my dreams. if not why? is there some reason why i feel i don't deserve happiness or success?
what's worse miche? walking through life searching for something unknown or tearing into what i want and letting the chips fall where they may?
perhaps it's finally time to find out? surely it's possible to achieve my dreams?
