so sings mick and the boys. and alas that is what i am here to share with you tonight. second week of the diet was not as inspiring as the first which sucked, but that is life. and the last squat of the year did not go as well as i would have liked... which also sucked.
the squat was likely a product of bad timing and poor judgement. my pc went down on wednesday and i think i allowed myself to be so distracted by that, that i trained the wrong muscle group. so instead of squatting on wednesday i was forced to squat today. the problem with that was that i went to the skatepark with the guys last night and spent a couple hours in the mini ramp. likely not condusive to a positive squat performance. oh well... i guess there is always next year???
the physical changes continue. its so much easier to quickly get to my target heart rate and keep it there. the rings feel loose. i feel stronger, i am continuing to breathe better. and visually i look tighter.
i opted out of all family holiday celebrations. i had no intentions of getting off the diet and i did not want the added headache of explaining to my family that i could not and would not eat any of the food they had out. selfish? perhaps but i wasn't feeling particularly strong either of the days my family got together and with a 40lb loss ahead of me... i felt it was better to be safe than sorry.
oh yeah... this is good, so the date of my show is likely changed again. the question remains to when? i hope to find out by early next week. hopefully before i go see george.
onwards and upwards the battle continues.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
one down 19 to go...
the first week of the diet is in the history books. i'm both pleased and a little disappointed all at the same time. first of all the good; i am down 3.5lbs, i'm 5'8" smaller in the waist and 1" smaller in the chest. not bad for a week, but i'd be lying if i didn't admit to hoping for a greater loss.
i thought i'd share some of the positive changes that i've noticed in this first week. first of all my favourite change, doing cardio is getting easier. i'm not saying i was horribily out of shape but there were a couple times during that first session were i thought i might have been walking towards 'the light'. climbing the stairs at the carpark is also getting a little easier. the rings on my fingers fit looser. my personal favourite, the veins are starting to reappear on my forearms. i am actually getting stronger.
sadly my mother feels its necessary to point out how 'fat' i've gotten. somehow she is convinced that i am unaware of the difference in my physique. today she amused herself by poking at me and announcing that i was exploding out of my clothes. apparently at the family function last night she was telling all who would listen that they wouldn't believe me if they saw me. she told them how big my azz was and how i was 'exploding'. oh and this is rich. they have determined that i actually purposely plan these diets around the family functions so that i won't have to go. okay people what kind of nutbar goes on a 5 month diet to avoid their family???!!
this weekend i officially put my bike away for the winter. speed racer and i are storing out bikes together. speed racer insists that her bike is a boy and so perhaps before i left jade i should have sat her down and had that 'little talk' with her. hopefully i won't end up with a couple of pocket bikes come spring.
anyway here is a pic of zeph and jade as they hunker down for winter... well assuming we ever actually get a winter.
i thought i'd share some of the positive changes that i've noticed in this first week. first of all my favourite change, doing cardio is getting easier. i'm not saying i was horribily out of shape but there were a couple times during that first session were i thought i might have been walking towards 'the light'. climbing the stairs at the carpark is also getting a little easier. the rings on my fingers fit looser. my personal favourite, the veins are starting to reappear on my forearms. i am actually getting stronger.
sadly my mother feels its necessary to point out how 'fat' i've gotten. somehow she is convinced that i am unaware of the difference in my physique. today she amused herself by poking at me and announcing that i was exploding out of my clothes. apparently at the family function last night she was telling all who would listen that they wouldn't believe me if they saw me. she told them how big my azz was and how i was 'exploding'. oh and this is rich. they have determined that i actually purposely plan these diets around the family functions so that i won't have to go. okay people what kind of nutbar goes on a 5 month diet to avoid their family???!!
this weekend i officially put my bike away for the winter. speed racer and i are storing out bikes together. speed racer insists that her bike is a boy and so perhaps before i left jade i should have sat her down and had that 'little talk' with her. hopefully i won't end up with a couple of pocket bikes come spring.
anyway here is a pic of zeph and jade as they hunker down for winter... well assuming we ever actually get a winter.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
movin on up... ahhh... make that down
so here i sit almost the full week into the diet of 2007. sure it starts the last 3 weeks of 2006 but since the rest of the 17 weeks are in 2007 it all counts. the question is, how is it going? well i would have to say it's going pretty well. i'm actually feeling pretty positive about things. i guess i forgot how well george knows me. i stepped on the scale on day 3 and i was happy to note that i had already lost 2lbs of water, i haven't been back on since but i already feel the difference.
i have a funny feeling that i wasn't having a horrific, almost unrecoverable post show rebound. i think now that i was simply eating far and above the calories i should have. even when i started dropping calories i never got it any lower than 2600/day. when george took a look at what i was eating he told me that i wasn't active enough to require that kind of caloric intake. so next offseason i will take it back to 2300 calories per day and keep that scale around 160lbs. my metabolism can not handle in excess of 2300 calories per day. bodybuilding is about learning. the more you know about what works for you the better condition you will be in. i have no hard feelings about the months i trained with jennifer. granted i did lose my ever loving mind when the scale shot to the right and set up camp but i learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are limitations to the amount of calories i can process.
on the other hand the exercise changes she made have worked for me. my massage therapist tells me that she can feel a difference in my musculature. both in size and in density. if she is right, then april should be a very exciting time for me.
i noticed some nasty changes when i got to 173.6lbs; i lost strength in the gym. i know you would think that since i was heavier i'd be that much stronger but i would end sets literally gasping for air. not because i had reached muscular fatigue but rather because i had to stop to catch my breath. in fact i almost fainted after a set of deadlifts last week!
climbing the stairs at the carpark at work always had me grossly winded by the time i reached my car. for someone who is in the gym 4 times a week it was hard to feel so out of shape.
i literally had no clothes that fit comfortably. last week friday was the gym's xmas party. i wore the same outfit i had in miami, but with one hell of a difference. it barely fit. who am i kidding it did not fit. and if that weren't enough i had to move jade from the bike shop and into storage, (she is going to spend the winter hanging out with her buddy zeph). well i hope this isn't too graphic for you but i dayumm near gave myself a hysterectomy trying close my bike leathers. i was fat... and im not talkin 'bout the p to the h. i'm talkin somebody call jenny craig!!!!
by saturday i expect all of my water weight to be gone and from there i will concentrate on the real weight i have to lose to make my april dreams a reality.
next stop 10%!!!
p.s. a lot of you have taken the time to tell me that you support me in this journey. i want to thank you all for your support... i wish i had the words to tell you how much that means to me.
p.s.s i had posted this and logged off before i remembered that i wanted to share something else with you. i set a personal best on the gym floor last night. it was part of the reason behind this flurry of blogging today. i easily got 8 reps with a weight i struggled to get 5 with previously. it was so easy in fact... had it not already been my final set i surely would have thrown on more weight and tried a previously untested weight. i hope im still this energetic the next time i squat!!!
i have a funny feeling that i wasn't having a horrific, almost unrecoverable post show rebound. i think now that i was simply eating far and above the calories i should have. even when i started dropping calories i never got it any lower than 2600/day. when george took a look at what i was eating he told me that i wasn't active enough to require that kind of caloric intake. so next offseason i will take it back to 2300 calories per day and keep that scale around 160lbs. my metabolism can not handle in excess of 2300 calories per day. bodybuilding is about learning. the more you know about what works for you the better condition you will be in. i have no hard feelings about the months i trained with jennifer. granted i did lose my ever loving mind when the scale shot to the right and set up camp but i learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are limitations to the amount of calories i can process.
on the other hand the exercise changes she made have worked for me. my massage therapist tells me that she can feel a difference in my musculature. both in size and in density. if she is right, then april should be a very exciting time for me.
i noticed some nasty changes when i got to 173.6lbs; i lost strength in the gym. i know you would think that since i was heavier i'd be that much stronger but i would end sets literally gasping for air. not because i had reached muscular fatigue but rather because i had to stop to catch my breath. in fact i almost fainted after a set of deadlifts last week!
climbing the stairs at the carpark at work always had me grossly winded by the time i reached my car. for someone who is in the gym 4 times a week it was hard to feel so out of shape.
i literally had no clothes that fit comfortably. last week friday was the gym's xmas party. i wore the same outfit i had in miami, but with one hell of a difference. it barely fit. who am i kidding it did not fit. and if that weren't enough i had to move jade from the bike shop and into storage, (she is going to spend the winter hanging out with her buddy zeph). well i hope this isn't too graphic for you but i dayumm near gave myself a hysterectomy trying close my bike leathers. i was fat... and im not talkin 'bout the p to the h. i'm talkin somebody call jenny craig!!!!
by saturday i expect all of my water weight to be gone and from there i will concentrate on the real weight i have to lose to make my april dreams a reality.
next stop 10%!!!
p.s. a lot of you have taken the time to tell me that you support me in this journey. i want to thank you all for your support... i wish i had the words to tell you how much that means to me.
p.s.s i had posted this and logged off before i remembered that i wanted to share something else with you. i set a personal best on the gym floor last night. it was part of the reason behind this flurry of blogging today. i easily got 8 reps with a weight i struggled to get 5 with previously. it was so easy in fact... had it not already been my final set i surely would have thrown on more weight and tried a previously untested weight. i hope im still this energetic the next time i squat!!!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
in greater detail
i was asked today, quite vehemently i might add, why i did not choose to sit out the '07 season. why exactly was it so important that i compete.
well what can i say? there are things about me that i know. for example i know that i set out to do something last june that i feel was not done. i know the general consenus is that i should be proud of what i did last summer and to a certain extent i am, however i did not come close to the target that i set out for myself.
i have other friends who fear i am setting myself up for failure by unfairly comparing my physique to that of athletes who use. to that i say, there are a 6 people with clipboards a scant few feet from the front of the stage who are not saying 'ya know, for a drug free athlete who was born with poor calves and a tendency to hold bodyfat around her middle she isn't half bad'. no my friends they are more apt to note that competitor #56 needs to bring up her calves, dry out her legs and come in a little tighter in the midsection. the judges don't care who has used what to get to the stage. yes, there are limits to what i can achieve however, i can know that and still try to bust my azz to bring in the best condition i can. that seems to me to be more positive than simply saying it can't be done.
and further what about my piece of mind? for if i sat out this season i know i would forever be faced with what if's. did i sit out the season to heal or because i was afraid to fail? was sitting out the right decision? what if it was my year? it may sound like an awful lot to put oneself through for a $5 trophy but it's not for the trophy... i compete for more than that, i compete for my honour and my self respect. i compete because i am a comptitive athlete and it's what i do.
i don't expect everyone to understand, i do hope that most of you can support me in this venture and for those of you who can't... happy holidays.
well what can i say? there are things about me that i know. for example i know that i set out to do something last june that i feel was not done. i know the general consenus is that i should be proud of what i did last summer and to a certain extent i am, however i did not come close to the target that i set out for myself.
i have other friends who fear i am setting myself up for failure by unfairly comparing my physique to that of athletes who use. to that i say, there are a 6 people with clipboards a scant few feet from the front of the stage who are not saying 'ya know, for a drug free athlete who was born with poor calves and a tendency to hold bodyfat around her middle she isn't half bad'. no my friends they are more apt to note that competitor #56 needs to bring up her calves, dry out her legs and come in a little tighter in the midsection. the judges don't care who has used what to get to the stage. yes, there are limits to what i can achieve however, i can know that and still try to bust my azz to bring in the best condition i can. that seems to me to be more positive than simply saying it can't be done.
and further what about my piece of mind? for if i sat out this season i know i would forever be faced with what if's. did i sit out the season to heal or because i was afraid to fail? was sitting out the right decision? what if it was my year? it may sound like an awful lot to put oneself through for a $5 trophy but it's not for the trophy... i compete for more than that, i compete for my honour and my self respect. i compete because i am a comptitive athlete and it's what i do.
i don't expect everyone to understand, i do hope that most of you can support me in this venture and for those of you who can't... happy holidays.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
the latest
last time i checked in with you i had just found out that my show date had been moved forward and i was reeling from the loss of two months growth.
since then i've had conversations with friends who've proposed i allow myself more healing time and either pick a later untested show or sit out the '07 season entirely.
the untested shows i'm told are fine at the lower levels as the majority of competitors are not aggressively using. my friends have all recently done shows at the 'lower levels'. now some of my friends have aspirations, they intend to go far in this game and as near as i can tell their approach has not been casual. as well some of those friends have told me that only the most blessed of nattys could competitively share the stage with those that use.
well ive listened to what all have said and i am still interested in redeeming myself at the show i did before. but i felt the final decision would be made after i discussed things with george.
friday night he and i sat down and he gave me a few more things to think about. first and foremost he predicts my next rebound will be worse than this one. i have to know that going in, to decide if i will be able to handle it emotionally. he felt he would have been remiss if he did not recommend i pick a later show or sit out '07 entirely. he asked how i felt about either option and i had to tell him that neither option appealed to me.
so then we got down to business. in order to be better prepared this time we discussed bringing me in a few percentage points leaner. he tells me my goal is 'tough to do naturally'. he also said that we know from last time that i 'stall out in the last three weeks'.
i wish he had told me that last june or even last july. it will be of no suprise to anyone who 'knows' me that i agonized over what went wrong. i knew i didn't cheat. i felt i had followed instructions to the letter. so i couldn't figure out where i had erred.
anyway the plan is to hit it hard. last time we tried to bring me in slow and steady. this time we will come in more aggressively allowing for more time for the final weeks. this time round my friends i'm going to suffer.
as cypher said to neo 'buckle your seatbelt dorothy, cuz kansas is about to go bye-bye'
since then i've had conversations with friends who've proposed i allow myself more healing time and either pick a later untested show or sit out the '07 season entirely.
the untested shows i'm told are fine at the lower levels as the majority of competitors are not aggressively using. my friends have all recently done shows at the 'lower levels'. now some of my friends have aspirations, they intend to go far in this game and as near as i can tell their approach has not been casual. as well some of those friends have told me that only the most blessed of nattys could competitively share the stage with those that use.
well ive listened to what all have said and i am still interested in redeeming myself at the show i did before. but i felt the final decision would be made after i discussed things with george.
friday night he and i sat down and he gave me a few more things to think about. first and foremost he predicts my next rebound will be worse than this one. i have to know that going in, to decide if i will be able to handle it emotionally. he felt he would have been remiss if he did not recommend i pick a later show or sit out '07 entirely. he asked how i felt about either option and i had to tell him that neither option appealed to me.
so then we got down to business. in order to be better prepared this time we discussed bringing me in a few percentage points leaner. he tells me my goal is 'tough to do naturally'. he also said that we know from last time that i 'stall out in the last three weeks'.
i wish he had told me that last june or even last july. it will be of no suprise to anyone who 'knows' me that i agonized over what went wrong. i knew i didn't cheat. i felt i had followed instructions to the letter. so i couldn't figure out where i had erred.
anyway the plan is to hit it hard. last time we tried to bring me in slow and steady. this time we will come in more aggressively allowing for more time for the final weeks. this time round my friends i'm going to suffer.
as cypher said to neo 'buckle your seatbelt dorothy, cuz kansas is about to go bye-bye'
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