so sings mick and the boys. and alas that is what i am here to share with you tonight. second week of the diet was not as inspiring as the first which sucked, but that is life. and the last squat of the year did not go as well as i would have liked... which also sucked.
the squat was likely a product of bad timing and poor judgement. my pc went down on wednesday and i think i allowed myself to be so distracted by that, that i trained the wrong muscle group. so instead of squatting on wednesday i was forced to squat today. the problem with that was that i went to the skatepark with the guys last night and spent a couple hours in the mini ramp. likely not condusive to a positive squat performance. oh well... i guess there is always next year???
the physical changes continue. its so much easier to quickly get to my target heart rate and keep it there. the rings feel loose. i feel stronger, i am continuing to breathe better. and visually i look tighter.
i opted out of all family holiday celebrations. i had no intentions of getting off the diet and i did not want the added headache of explaining to my family that i could not and would not eat any of the food they had out. selfish? perhaps but i wasn't feeling particularly strong either of the days my family got together and with a 40lb loss ahead of me... i felt it was better to be safe than sorry.
oh yeah... this is good, so the date of my show is likely changed again. the question remains to when? i hope to find out by early next week. hopefully before i go see george.
onwards and upwards the battle continues.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
one down 19 to go...
the first week of the diet is in the history books. i'm both pleased and a little disappointed all at the same time. first of all the good; i am down 3.5lbs, i'm 5'8" smaller in the waist and 1" smaller in the chest. not bad for a week, but i'd be lying if i didn't admit to hoping for a greater loss.
i thought i'd share some of the positive changes that i've noticed in this first week. first of all my favourite change, doing cardio is getting easier. i'm not saying i was horribily out of shape but there were a couple times during that first session were i thought i might have been walking towards 'the light'. climbing the stairs at the carpark is also getting a little easier. the rings on my fingers fit looser. my personal favourite, the veins are starting to reappear on my forearms. i am actually getting stronger.
sadly my mother feels its necessary to point out how 'fat' i've gotten. somehow she is convinced that i am unaware of the difference in my physique. today she amused herself by poking at me and announcing that i was exploding out of my clothes. apparently at the family function last night she was telling all who would listen that they wouldn't believe me if they saw me. she told them how big my azz was and how i was 'exploding'. oh and this is rich. they have determined that i actually purposely plan these diets around the family functions so that i won't have to go. okay people what kind of nutbar goes on a 5 month diet to avoid their family???!!
this weekend i officially put my bike away for the winter. speed racer and i are storing out bikes together. speed racer insists that her bike is a boy and so perhaps before i left jade i should have sat her down and had that 'little talk' with her. hopefully i won't end up with a couple of pocket bikes come spring.
anyway here is a pic of zeph and jade as they hunker down for winter... well assuming we ever actually get a winter.
i thought i'd share some of the positive changes that i've noticed in this first week. first of all my favourite change, doing cardio is getting easier. i'm not saying i was horribily out of shape but there were a couple times during that first session were i thought i might have been walking towards 'the light'. climbing the stairs at the carpark is also getting a little easier. the rings on my fingers fit looser. my personal favourite, the veins are starting to reappear on my forearms. i am actually getting stronger.
sadly my mother feels its necessary to point out how 'fat' i've gotten. somehow she is convinced that i am unaware of the difference in my physique. today she amused herself by poking at me and announcing that i was exploding out of my clothes. apparently at the family function last night she was telling all who would listen that they wouldn't believe me if they saw me. she told them how big my azz was and how i was 'exploding'. oh and this is rich. they have determined that i actually purposely plan these diets around the family functions so that i won't have to go. okay people what kind of nutbar goes on a 5 month diet to avoid their family???!!
this weekend i officially put my bike away for the winter. speed racer and i are storing out bikes together. speed racer insists that her bike is a boy and so perhaps before i left jade i should have sat her down and had that 'little talk' with her. hopefully i won't end up with a couple of pocket bikes come spring.
anyway here is a pic of zeph and jade as they hunker down for winter... well assuming we ever actually get a winter.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
movin on up... ahhh... make that down
so here i sit almost the full week into the diet of 2007. sure it starts the last 3 weeks of 2006 but since the rest of the 17 weeks are in 2007 it all counts. the question is, how is it going? well i would have to say it's going pretty well. i'm actually feeling pretty positive about things. i guess i forgot how well george knows me. i stepped on the scale on day 3 and i was happy to note that i had already lost 2lbs of water, i haven't been back on since but i already feel the difference.
i have a funny feeling that i wasn't having a horrific, almost unrecoverable post show rebound. i think now that i was simply eating far and above the calories i should have. even when i started dropping calories i never got it any lower than 2600/day. when george took a look at what i was eating he told me that i wasn't active enough to require that kind of caloric intake. so next offseason i will take it back to 2300 calories per day and keep that scale around 160lbs. my metabolism can not handle in excess of 2300 calories per day. bodybuilding is about learning. the more you know about what works for you the better condition you will be in. i have no hard feelings about the months i trained with jennifer. granted i did lose my ever loving mind when the scale shot to the right and set up camp but i learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are limitations to the amount of calories i can process.
on the other hand the exercise changes she made have worked for me. my massage therapist tells me that she can feel a difference in my musculature. both in size and in density. if she is right, then april should be a very exciting time for me.
i noticed some nasty changes when i got to 173.6lbs; i lost strength in the gym. i know you would think that since i was heavier i'd be that much stronger but i would end sets literally gasping for air. not because i had reached muscular fatigue but rather because i had to stop to catch my breath. in fact i almost fainted after a set of deadlifts last week!
climbing the stairs at the carpark at work always had me grossly winded by the time i reached my car. for someone who is in the gym 4 times a week it was hard to feel so out of shape.
i literally had no clothes that fit comfortably. last week friday was the gym's xmas party. i wore the same outfit i had in miami, but with one hell of a difference. it barely fit. who am i kidding it did not fit. and if that weren't enough i had to move jade from the bike shop and into storage, (she is going to spend the winter hanging out with her buddy zeph). well i hope this isn't too graphic for you but i dayumm near gave myself a hysterectomy trying close my bike leathers. i was fat... and im not talkin 'bout the p to the h. i'm talkin somebody call jenny craig!!!!
by saturday i expect all of my water weight to be gone and from there i will concentrate on the real weight i have to lose to make my april dreams a reality.
next stop 10%!!!
p.s. a lot of you have taken the time to tell me that you support me in this journey. i want to thank you all for your support... i wish i had the words to tell you how much that means to me.
p.s.s i had posted this and logged off before i remembered that i wanted to share something else with you. i set a personal best on the gym floor last night. it was part of the reason behind this flurry of blogging today. i easily got 8 reps with a weight i struggled to get 5 with previously. it was so easy in fact... had it not already been my final set i surely would have thrown on more weight and tried a previously untested weight. i hope im still this energetic the next time i squat!!!
i have a funny feeling that i wasn't having a horrific, almost unrecoverable post show rebound. i think now that i was simply eating far and above the calories i should have. even when i started dropping calories i never got it any lower than 2600/day. when george took a look at what i was eating he told me that i wasn't active enough to require that kind of caloric intake. so next offseason i will take it back to 2300 calories per day and keep that scale around 160lbs. my metabolism can not handle in excess of 2300 calories per day. bodybuilding is about learning. the more you know about what works for you the better condition you will be in. i have no hard feelings about the months i trained with jennifer. granted i did lose my ever loving mind when the scale shot to the right and set up camp but i learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are limitations to the amount of calories i can process.
on the other hand the exercise changes she made have worked for me. my massage therapist tells me that she can feel a difference in my musculature. both in size and in density. if she is right, then april should be a very exciting time for me.
i noticed some nasty changes when i got to 173.6lbs; i lost strength in the gym. i know you would think that since i was heavier i'd be that much stronger but i would end sets literally gasping for air. not because i had reached muscular fatigue but rather because i had to stop to catch my breath. in fact i almost fainted after a set of deadlifts last week!
climbing the stairs at the carpark at work always had me grossly winded by the time i reached my car. for someone who is in the gym 4 times a week it was hard to feel so out of shape.
i literally had no clothes that fit comfortably. last week friday was the gym's xmas party. i wore the same outfit i had in miami, but with one hell of a difference. it barely fit. who am i kidding it did not fit. and if that weren't enough i had to move jade from the bike shop and into storage, (she is going to spend the winter hanging out with her buddy zeph). well i hope this isn't too graphic for you but i dayumm near gave myself a hysterectomy trying close my bike leathers. i was fat... and im not talkin 'bout the p to the h. i'm talkin somebody call jenny craig!!!!
by saturday i expect all of my water weight to be gone and from there i will concentrate on the real weight i have to lose to make my april dreams a reality.
next stop 10%!!!
p.s. a lot of you have taken the time to tell me that you support me in this journey. i want to thank you all for your support... i wish i had the words to tell you how much that means to me.
p.s.s i had posted this and logged off before i remembered that i wanted to share something else with you. i set a personal best on the gym floor last night. it was part of the reason behind this flurry of blogging today. i easily got 8 reps with a weight i struggled to get 5 with previously. it was so easy in fact... had it not already been my final set i surely would have thrown on more weight and tried a previously untested weight. i hope im still this energetic the next time i squat!!!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
in greater detail
i was asked today, quite vehemently i might add, why i did not choose to sit out the '07 season. why exactly was it so important that i compete.
well what can i say? there are things about me that i know. for example i know that i set out to do something last june that i feel was not done. i know the general consenus is that i should be proud of what i did last summer and to a certain extent i am, however i did not come close to the target that i set out for myself.
i have other friends who fear i am setting myself up for failure by unfairly comparing my physique to that of athletes who use. to that i say, there are a 6 people with clipboards a scant few feet from the front of the stage who are not saying 'ya know, for a drug free athlete who was born with poor calves and a tendency to hold bodyfat around her middle she isn't half bad'. no my friends they are more apt to note that competitor #56 needs to bring up her calves, dry out her legs and come in a little tighter in the midsection. the judges don't care who has used what to get to the stage. yes, there are limits to what i can achieve however, i can know that and still try to bust my azz to bring in the best condition i can. that seems to me to be more positive than simply saying it can't be done.
and further what about my piece of mind? for if i sat out this season i know i would forever be faced with what if's. did i sit out the season to heal or because i was afraid to fail? was sitting out the right decision? what if it was my year? it may sound like an awful lot to put oneself through for a $5 trophy but it's not for the trophy... i compete for more than that, i compete for my honour and my self respect. i compete because i am a comptitive athlete and it's what i do.
i don't expect everyone to understand, i do hope that most of you can support me in this venture and for those of you who can't... happy holidays.
well what can i say? there are things about me that i know. for example i know that i set out to do something last june that i feel was not done. i know the general consenus is that i should be proud of what i did last summer and to a certain extent i am, however i did not come close to the target that i set out for myself.
i have other friends who fear i am setting myself up for failure by unfairly comparing my physique to that of athletes who use. to that i say, there are a 6 people with clipboards a scant few feet from the front of the stage who are not saying 'ya know, for a drug free athlete who was born with poor calves and a tendency to hold bodyfat around her middle she isn't half bad'. no my friends they are more apt to note that competitor #56 needs to bring up her calves, dry out her legs and come in a little tighter in the midsection. the judges don't care who has used what to get to the stage. yes, there are limits to what i can achieve however, i can know that and still try to bust my azz to bring in the best condition i can. that seems to me to be more positive than simply saying it can't be done.
and further what about my piece of mind? for if i sat out this season i know i would forever be faced with what if's. did i sit out the season to heal or because i was afraid to fail? was sitting out the right decision? what if it was my year? it may sound like an awful lot to put oneself through for a $5 trophy but it's not for the trophy... i compete for more than that, i compete for my honour and my self respect. i compete because i am a comptitive athlete and it's what i do.
i don't expect everyone to understand, i do hope that most of you can support me in this venture and for those of you who can't... happy holidays.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
the latest
last time i checked in with you i had just found out that my show date had been moved forward and i was reeling from the loss of two months growth.
since then i've had conversations with friends who've proposed i allow myself more healing time and either pick a later untested show or sit out the '07 season entirely.
the untested shows i'm told are fine at the lower levels as the majority of competitors are not aggressively using. my friends have all recently done shows at the 'lower levels'. now some of my friends have aspirations, they intend to go far in this game and as near as i can tell their approach has not been casual. as well some of those friends have told me that only the most blessed of nattys could competitively share the stage with those that use.
well ive listened to what all have said and i am still interested in redeeming myself at the show i did before. but i felt the final decision would be made after i discussed things with george.
friday night he and i sat down and he gave me a few more things to think about. first and foremost he predicts my next rebound will be worse than this one. i have to know that going in, to decide if i will be able to handle it emotionally. he felt he would have been remiss if he did not recommend i pick a later show or sit out '07 entirely. he asked how i felt about either option and i had to tell him that neither option appealed to me.
so then we got down to business. in order to be better prepared this time we discussed bringing me in a few percentage points leaner. he tells me my goal is 'tough to do naturally'. he also said that we know from last time that i 'stall out in the last three weeks'.
i wish he had told me that last june or even last july. it will be of no suprise to anyone who 'knows' me that i agonized over what went wrong. i knew i didn't cheat. i felt i had followed instructions to the letter. so i couldn't figure out where i had erred.
anyway the plan is to hit it hard. last time we tried to bring me in slow and steady. this time we will come in more aggressively allowing for more time for the final weeks. this time round my friends i'm going to suffer.
as cypher said to neo 'buckle your seatbelt dorothy, cuz kansas is about to go bye-bye'
since then i've had conversations with friends who've proposed i allow myself more healing time and either pick a later untested show or sit out the '07 season entirely.
the untested shows i'm told are fine at the lower levels as the majority of competitors are not aggressively using. my friends have all recently done shows at the 'lower levels'. now some of my friends have aspirations, they intend to go far in this game and as near as i can tell their approach has not been casual. as well some of those friends have told me that only the most blessed of nattys could competitively share the stage with those that use.
well ive listened to what all have said and i am still interested in redeeming myself at the show i did before. but i felt the final decision would be made after i discussed things with george.
friday night he and i sat down and he gave me a few more things to think about. first and foremost he predicts my next rebound will be worse than this one. i have to know that going in, to decide if i will be able to handle it emotionally. he felt he would have been remiss if he did not recommend i pick a later show or sit out '07 entirely. he asked how i felt about either option and i had to tell him that neither option appealed to me.
so then we got down to business. in order to be better prepared this time we discussed bringing me in a few percentage points leaner. he tells me my goal is 'tough to do naturally'. he also said that we know from last time that i 'stall out in the last three weeks'.
i wish he had told me that last june or even last july. it will be of no suprise to anyone who 'knows' me that i agonized over what went wrong. i knew i didn't cheat. i felt i had followed instructions to the letter. so i couldn't figure out where i had erred.
anyway the plan is to hit it hard. last time we tried to bring me in slow and steady. this time we will come in more aggressively allowing for more time for the final weeks. this time round my friends i'm going to suffer.
as cypher said to neo 'buckle your seatbelt dorothy, cuz kansas is about to go bye-bye'
Sunday, November 26, 2006
wtf!!!
so i went to brantford last night to check out the last show of the season. a friend of mine had picked it to be her coming out party and what a cotillion it was! she didn't just make a buzz, she roared. justly so... i have never seen any athlete step on a level 1 stage looking so prepared. hell i'm trying to remember if i've seen a level 2 that prepared. if you can't tell i am pretty proud of her. hell i'm proud of all of my fbb friends each and everyone of them has had a banner year.
darrem charles guest posed. i love darrem, some of you know i've got mad love for 'marvelous' melvin anthony and i even have an extra special soft spot for the 'texas tornado' frank roberson. and based on a link sent to my by my friend army i look forward to fred smalls getting his pro card. you all know where i stand on the art of posing, so i won't bore you by repeating myself.
i passed darrem as he was leaving the venue. actually he almost walked into me. i'm not sure that would have been a bad thing, i would love to know what that kind of muscle feels like up close!!! ummm.... ahhhh... ok... what was i saying??? oh... yeah..... focus miche... so as i passed darrem i said 'that was an awesome posing routine', and as he thanked me i added ...'as always'. of course in true miche fashion the entire exchange happened with me in motion!! i'm a big ole chicken sh!t when it comes to the menz.
they had a programme with much of the 2007 schedule listed on it. of course i looked and there was a show on the date that i had expected the ontario naturals to be on. i was confused. it's not logical to have two shows on the same day. did that mean my show was the last weekend of june?
well i happened to notice the show promoter wandering around the venue. i kept wondering aloud if i should go ask him. my friend, who was probably tired of listening to me (lol) told me to go ask... so i did. well the long and the short of it is, the show date has been changed but not by a week or two. i found out last night that i have exactly two weeks left of offseason growth before i need to start dieting for the end of fawkin april!!!
the question here is, have i recovered from the horrific rebound i had post comp/post photo shoot?? as of yesterday morning 22 weeks our, i was a mere 36 fawking lbs over contest weight. ok for those of you who do not know, for an unassisted athlete 36 lbs over is all kinds of bad. sure i've added muscle along with that 36lbs but and this is the kicker! unassisted it is next to impossible to maintain the new muscle mass as i burn off the excess fat tissue. thus i could come in stringy and flat!!!
well i've talked to the man who coached me through my show prep and he feels i will be 'fine' and that enough time has passed and that my body will respond. since i tried dieting as recently as just before miami to no avail i'm not so sure. besides i did 'fine' last year... fine sucks... i want more!!!!
as soon as nature's source opens today i'm calling to book an appointment to see george. he did my diet last year... well actually he's been doing it for the past 6+ years. he will have a better idea if april is do-able for me. he also needs to know that i intend to be much better conditioned than last time. i'm thinking i need to be down closer to 10%. i think i was 14% last time and the pictures and placing tell the story. not nearly lean enough!!!
so most would ask am i upset or bothered about dieting through x-mas? actually now. no disrespect intended to my family but for the longest time i haven't enjoyed anything i've had at any family function. i had cake at my brothers birthday, pie at thanksgiving and it was all just disappointing... and the meals themselves???? yawn!!!
i'm upset about two things; being 7 weeks out at the arnold classic in march and only having two more weeks to add mass.
yikes!!!
oh well, if it was easy... everybody'd be doing it.
go time in two weeks???? stay tuned
darrem charles guest posed. i love darrem, some of you know i've got mad love for 'marvelous' melvin anthony and i even have an extra special soft spot for the 'texas tornado' frank roberson. and based on a link sent to my by my friend army i look forward to fred smalls getting his pro card. you all know where i stand on the art of posing, so i won't bore you by repeating myself.
i passed darrem as he was leaving the venue. actually he almost walked into me. i'm not sure that would have been a bad thing, i would love to know what that kind of muscle feels like up close!!! ummm.... ahhhh... ok... what was i saying??? oh... yeah..... focus miche... so as i passed darrem i said 'that was an awesome posing routine', and as he thanked me i added ...'as always'. of course in true miche fashion the entire exchange happened with me in motion!! i'm a big ole chicken sh!t when it comes to the menz.
they had a programme with much of the 2007 schedule listed on it. of course i looked and there was a show on the date that i had expected the ontario naturals to be on. i was confused. it's not logical to have two shows on the same day. did that mean my show was the last weekend of june?
well i happened to notice the show promoter wandering around the venue. i kept wondering aloud if i should go ask him. my friend, who was probably tired of listening to me (lol) told me to go ask... so i did. well the long and the short of it is, the show date has been changed but not by a week or two. i found out last night that i have exactly two weeks left of offseason growth before i need to start dieting for the end of fawkin april!!!
the question here is, have i recovered from the horrific rebound i had post comp/post photo shoot?? as of yesterday morning 22 weeks our, i was a mere 36 fawking lbs over contest weight. ok for those of you who do not know, for an unassisted athlete 36 lbs over is all kinds of bad. sure i've added muscle along with that 36lbs but and this is the kicker! unassisted it is next to impossible to maintain the new muscle mass as i burn off the excess fat tissue. thus i could come in stringy and flat!!!
well i've talked to the man who coached me through my show prep and he feels i will be 'fine' and that enough time has passed and that my body will respond. since i tried dieting as recently as just before miami to no avail i'm not so sure. besides i did 'fine' last year... fine sucks... i want more!!!!
as soon as nature's source opens today i'm calling to book an appointment to see george. he did my diet last year... well actually he's been doing it for the past 6+ years. he will have a better idea if april is do-able for me. he also needs to know that i intend to be much better conditioned than last time. i'm thinking i need to be down closer to 10%. i think i was 14% last time and the pictures and placing tell the story. not nearly lean enough!!!
so most would ask am i upset or bothered about dieting through x-mas? actually now. no disrespect intended to my family but for the longest time i haven't enjoyed anything i've had at any family function. i had cake at my brothers birthday, pie at thanksgiving and it was all just disappointing... and the meals themselves???? yawn!!!
i'm upset about two things; being 7 weeks out at the arnold classic in march and only having two more weeks to add mass.
yikes!!!
oh well, if it was easy... everybody'd be doing it.
go time in two weeks???? stay tuned
Friday, November 24, 2006
just wanted you to know...
as i mentioned previously i have started training in the evenings and starting my day a little bit later. its only been a week so far but at this point it's looking pretty good. since saturday night i have amassed 40 hours of sleep... which is not bad at all. i find i am tired when i go to bed now and i seem to spend less time tossing and turning before i nod off. i am also sleeping through the night. as well the scale which went bananas after i returned from miami seems to be heading in a positive direction. here's hoping this works and i am not looking at a 24 week contest prep.
speaking of contest preps... going to the last show of the season this weekend in brantford. one of my friends from the boards is competiting. i am proud of her. hell i am proud of anyone who decides they want to compete and does the hard work... the diet, the exercise, the hours of cardio, the sacrifice, etc... trust me the journey to the stage is oft times a battle of will. everyone who makes it should be commended. saturday will be an exciting time.
wow... that's it till 2007... next show will be the arnold classic in march. yikes!! that feels so far away.
interestingly enough... time truly is relative. my march trip to ohio seems so far away however, i start dieting february 4th and that feels like it is just a few weeks away. LOL. must have something to do with spending half of the year dieting. i am not complaining... one half of the year dieting the other half of the year getting big... its what we do.
may you all have the very best day you can.
speaking of contest preps... going to the last show of the season this weekend in brantford. one of my friends from the boards is competiting. i am proud of her. hell i am proud of anyone who decides they want to compete and does the hard work... the diet, the exercise, the hours of cardio, the sacrifice, etc... trust me the journey to the stage is oft times a battle of will. everyone who makes it should be commended. saturday will be an exciting time.
wow... that's it till 2007... next show will be the arnold classic in march. yikes!! that feels so far away.
interestingly enough... time truly is relative. my march trip to ohio seems so far away however, i start dieting february 4th and that feels like it is just a few weeks away. LOL. must have something to do with spending half of the year dieting. i am not complaining... one half of the year dieting the other half of the year getting big... its what we do.
may you all have the very best day you can.
Friday, November 17, 2006
i've been thinkin again...
on to the new plan. I have decided that it’s time for a new plan. I based this decision on the simple fact that I am almost always exhausted. I need more sleep. without more quality sleep I will not grow, and I will not be able to control the body fat.
so what’s the new plan? well first starting next week I’m returning to evening workouts. I never get to bed by 9pm no matter what I try. the best I’ve ever been able to do was 9:15pm. more times than not I’m still wide awake till closer to 10:30pm. well if I am going to be up late anyways it makes no sense to get up at 4am. so I will be starting my day closer to 6am… except on the days when I have to train my a.m client.
as for clients. I’ve happily gone months without any new folks and within the last couple of months ive been getting more requests than I know what to do with. not enough to make a living off… but I’ve recently been asked by 3 people and they claim to specifically want to train with me. with my work schedule I have my hands more than filled with the two clients I have now.
here is a funny story for you. as some of you know I am on myspace. one of my myspace friends recently sent me email telling of a young friend of hers who saw my pic on her page and wants her to hook him up I guess. so she emailed me to find out how I felt about it. well… to say I am a bit hesitant is an understatement. she doesn’t have a very good track record with me. the last guy she attempted to set me up with spent the entire date telling me about how he met her, how sweet she was, how much fun she was… it didn’t take me long to realize that buddy was clearly out with the ‘wrong’ woman.
now I can’t blame this on my friend but my last experience with the fix-up went even worse. the guy who did the fixing claimed that he had a friend he thought I would like. I was told that this guy ‘looked’ like a bodybuilder. well of course I was curious. the young man also rollerbladed, albeit recreationally, so my friend thought it was a match made in heaven. well I met his friend and he had a basketball players physique. I know what your thinking well some of those ballplayers are kind of jacked. well with all due respect this guy was more like a chris bosch physique than say a karl malone (back when he was huge). so this little charmer and I went rollerblading partway through the skate he got hot and he took off his shirt. his shorts were riding way low and I had a confirmed view of much butt crack… that mofo was running commando!!! wtf?!!
so what’s the new plan? well first starting next week I’m returning to evening workouts. I never get to bed by 9pm no matter what I try. the best I’ve ever been able to do was 9:15pm. more times than not I’m still wide awake till closer to 10:30pm. well if I am going to be up late anyways it makes no sense to get up at 4am. so I will be starting my day closer to 6am… except on the days when I have to train my a.m client.
as for clients. I’ve happily gone months without any new folks and within the last couple of months ive been getting more requests than I know what to do with. not enough to make a living off… but I’ve recently been asked by 3 people and they claim to specifically want to train with me. with my work schedule I have my hands more than filled with the two clients I have now.
here is a funny story for you. as some of you know I am on myspace. one of my myspace friends recently sent me email telling of a young friend of hers who saw my pic on her page and wants her to hook him up I guess. so she emailed me to find out how I felt about it. well… to say I am a bit hesitant is an understatement. she doesn’t have a very good track record with me. the last guy she attempted to set me up with spent the entire date telling me about how he met her, how sweet she was, how much fun she was… it didn’t take me long to realize that buddy was clearly out with the ‘wrong’ woman.
now I can’t blame this on my friend but my last experience with the fix-up went even worse. the guy who did the fixing claimed that he had a friend he thought I would like. I was told that this guy ‘looked’ like a bodybuilder. well of course I was curious. the young man also rollerbladed, albeit recreationally, so my friend thought it was a match made in heaven. well I met his friend and he had a basketball players physique. I know what your thinking well some of those ballplayers are kind of jacked. well with all due respect this guy was more like a chris bosch physique than say a karl malone (back when he was huge). so this little charmer and I went rollerblading partway through the skate he got hot and he took off his shirt. his shorts were riding way low and I had a confirmed view of much butt crack… that mofo was running commando!!! wtf?!!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
home again... naturally
as i had originally planned i spent november 9-13th in miami checking out the NPC nationals. it is the last pro-qualifier of the bodybuilding season. as i am on a few bb boards it was no great suprise to realize that a lot of the competitors were people i knew from the boards.
i had hoped that elena seiple would finally be awarded her pro card but once again it just wasn't to be. mandy polk who had the misfortune of getting tangled in the ryan-titus mess was able to win her pro card after going through a pretty horrific year of bad luck and negative fall out. so i was pretty happy for her.
i also have to admit i become more and more of a fitness fan the more of these shows i attend. those women are out of their ever lovin mind. they will leap 800 feet into the air and then land in full splits. i wonder if they dont suffer from bruising and if any of that mess would affect their ability to have children at a later date?
i was a bit disappointed with bb to be honest with you. i just didn't feel like there were any entertainers on the stage. for the most part routines were mandatories with a musical backdrop. i longed for a melvin anthony, a vince taylor or even a king kamali type to bring the house down. i can't express how important i feel the night routine is to our sport. sure, everybody knows that all scoring is done in prejudging. nothing that happens during the night show has any impact on final placings.
you know what? as competitive athletes we have foisted our moody azzes on our friends and families as we prep for the big day. these same people, most often mere a fan of the person on stage and not of the sport, sit through endless shows just to get a chance to glimpse at us. we OWE those people a show. more than just being big, symmetrical and ripped on stage... we have to be entertaining as well.
oddly enough i ran into fbb pro's colette nelson, mimi jabalee and amanda dunbar outside of the south beach gold's on the friday. colette and i got into a conversation about the importance of the final routine. she basically had this to say, 'i used to worry about winning and finishing first... don't get me wrong, i still want to win but now i focus more on the performance... on owning that stage. i find i'm a lot more relaxed that way.' she then went on to speak of some of the more entertaining female posers she looks up to women like lenda murray and patterns her night routine after that kind of professionalism.
i ended up getting into a discussion about routines with one of the friends i was travelling with. we both come at the night routine from different angles... although we are both performers in our own right. she prefers to plant the audience full of family and friends who will scream for her. they more they scream the more she will perform. i on the other hand prefer to be in front of a room full of strangers. if i can get those strangers screaming for me... then i know i have done it. i was like that back when i was rollerblading as well.
i remember my week performing at a fair in ladsen, south carolina. every day i would drop in on the ramp taking a few set up airs, just to feel how the ramp felt. i would barely go over the coping. you see during warm ups we would often have a crowd gathered who would then stick around for the show. once the show started and they introduced me i would drop in and i would launch myself up out of the ramp as high as i could. you know what i always heard on that first air?? the entire crowd would gasp, by the time i aired off of my second wall they were mine. maybe that sounds bad... but it gave the audience a better show and i know doing it that way i gave a better show... so as near as i can tell, everybody won.
two more weeks until my friend does her first show. from all the pics of her i've seen, she is looking amazing. she is using the same guy to dial her in that i did... i have to remember to tell him that he better dial me in that tight next time cuz i know i wanna go on stage looking THAT good.
i had hoped that elena seiple would finally be awarded her pro card but once again it just wasn't to be. mandy polk who had the misfortune of getting tangled in the ryan-titus mess was able to win her pro card after going through a pretty horrific year of bad luck and negative fall out. so i was pretty happy for her.
i also have to admit i become more and more of a fitness fan the more of these shows i attend. those women are out of their ever lovin mind. they will leap 800 feet into the air and then land in full splits. i wonder if they dont suffer from bruising and if any of that mess would affect their ability to have children at a later date?
i was a bit disappointed with bb to be honest with you. i just didn't feel like there were any entertainers on the stage. for the most part routines were mandatories with a musical backdrop. i longed for a melvin anthony, a vince taylor or even a king kamali type to bring the house down. i can't express how important i feel the night routine is to our sport. sure, everybody knows that all scoring is done in prejudging. nothing that happens during the night show has any impact on final placings.
you know what? as competitive athletes we have foisted our moody azzes on our friends and families as we prep for the big day. these same people, most often mere a fan of the person on stage and not of the sport, sit through endless shows just to get a chance to glimpse at us. we OWE those people a show. more than just being big, symmetrical and ripped on stage... we have to be entertaining as well.
oddly enough i ran into fbb pro's colette nelson, mimi jabalee and amanda dunbar outside of the south beach gold's on the friday. colette and i got into a conversation about the importance of the final routine. she basically had this to say, 'i used to worry about winning and finishing first... don't get me wrong, i still want to win but now i focus more on the performance... on owning that stage. i find i'm a lot more relaxed that way.' she then went on to speak of some of the more entertaining female posers she looks up to women like lenda murray and patterns her night routine after that kind of professionalism.
i ended up getting into a discussion about routines with one of the friends i was travelling with. we both come at the night routine from different angles... although we are both performers in our own right. she prefers to plant the audience full of family and friends who will scream for her. they more they scream the more she will perform. i on the other hand prefer to be in front of a room full of strangers. if i can get those strangers screaming for me... then i know i have done it. i was like that back when i was rollerblading as well.
i remember my week performing at a fair in ladsen, south carolina. every day i would drop in on the ramp taking a few set up airs, just to feel how the ramp felt. i would barely go over the coping. you see during warm ups we would often have a crowd gathered who would then stick around for the show. once the show started and they introduced me i would drop in and i would launch myself up out of the ramp as high as i could. you know what i always heard on that first air?? the entire crowd would gasp, by the time i aired off of my second wall they were mine. maybe that sounds bad... but it gave the audience a better show and i know doing it that way i gave a better show... so as near as i can tell, everybody won.
two more weeks until my friend does her first show. from all the pics of her i've seen, she is looking amazing. she is using the same guy to dial her in that i did... i have to remember to tell him that he better dial me in that tight next time cuz i know i wanna go on stage looking THAT good.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
ok now what??
friday was a banner dan on the gym floor. i set a personal best in my front squat. the entire workout was a good one and i woke up saturday a.m. barely able to bend my legs. that made for a fairly interesting saturday as i had both conventional deadlifts and a cold, damp ride to the mechanics ahead of me.
with the limited mobility i didn't expect much out of my dead's. i mean first and foremost i had to bend my sore legs enough to get close enough to the bar to pick it up in the first place. well suprise, suprise... if i didn't manage to set a new personal best on back day too.
so by the time i slid into my long johns and my bike leathers my mobility issues had spread from my legs and into my back as well. thankfully the rain stopped and the roads dried up some on my way in. so what could have been a sh!tty ride, turned out to be... not that bad. i was however pretty dayummm cold by the time i got there.
maybe i should have re-thought my hip hop dance class. but i thought that the hippin' and the hoppin' might help to loosen up my legs and my back. clearly i was wrong, i was so very wrong. i left dance class with a painful gait. had i been a horse.. i'm sure i would have been taken out behind the barn and shot!
that is not where the story ends though. i slept fitfully. i imaging because i couldn't find a comfortable position. i woke up very hungry at 3:00 a.m. i figured i could have a shake and get back in bed, get up at 5:30 a.m and still make it in to work on time.
partway through my shake i was over come with the urge to faint. i put my head down on the table and willed the feeling to pass. when that didn't work it was on to plan b, get my azz back to bed before i passed out.
i couldn't have either of the parental units find me sprawled out on the floor. that has happened once before and it wasn't pretty. mom lost her mind. dad became somewhat maniacal with his smelling salt application. the fact that i had regained consciousness did not deter him in the slightest from constantly waving the ammonia under my nose. being of island heritage dad then jumped on the phone to call everyone he knew who offered a different 'cure'. i guess dad figured better to be safe than sorry and he tried them all.
i was given tea to drink... all i really know for sure is that it wasn't red rose. i am not really sure what was in the cup and it's likely best that i didn't know. i do remember my dad frying flour and feeding that to me. yes, you read that right... fried flour!! no i have no idea how you do that, i can only tell you that as far as taste sensations go... i encourage you all to give it a miss!!
trust me, the lure of mystery bush tea and fried flour is enough to encourage me to faint in my room... or should i not make it, get my azz in there before they find me!!
well this morning the walk down the hall took longer than usual. i had my hands out to help me find my way and i stumbled along as though i were drunk... but i made it. i fell on my bed and was instantly overwhelmed with an escalating body temperature, the sweats and ringing in my ears. i was like that for quite a while. fun? not so much. but eventually things calmed down. i thought about my half a shake still on the kitchen table and how much i would have liked to finish it.
then i thought about how far away the kitchen was and how i wasn't entirely sure i wouldn't pass out if i tried it again. so instead i decided to stay where i was and hopefully sleep it off. did i? i can't say for sure. i am at work but i definately don't feel right. i will consider it a victory to get through my shift without hitting the floor.
only 4 hours to go!! 3 if my client cancels.
with the limited mobility i didn't expect much out of my dead's. i mean first and foremost i had to bend my sore legs enough to get close enough to the bar to pick it up in the first place. well suprise, suprise... if i didn't manage to set a new personal best on back day too.
so by the time i slid into my long johns and my bike leathers my mobility issues had spread from my legs and into my back as well. thankfully the rain stopped and the roads dried up some on my way in. so what could have been a sh!tty ride, turned out to be... not that bad. i was however pretty dayummm cold by the time i got there.
maybe i should have re-thought my hip hop dance class. but i thought that the hippin' and the hoppin' might help to loosen up my legs and my back. clearly i was wrong, i was so very wrong. i left dance class with a painful gait. had i been a horse.. i'm sure i would have been taken out behind the barn and shot!
that is not where the story ends though. i slept fitfully. i imaging because i couldn't find a comfortable position. i woke up very hungry at 3:00 a.m. i figured i could have a shake and get back in bed, get up at 5:30 a.m and still make it in to work on time.
partway through my shake i was over come with the urge to faint. i put my head down on the table and willed the feeling to pass. when that didn't work it was on to plan b, get my azz back to bed before i passed out.
i couldn't have either of the parental units find me sprawled out on the floor. that has happened once before and it wasn't pretty. mom lost her mind. dad became somewhat maniacal with his smelling salt application. the fact that i had regained consciousness did not deter him in the slightest from constantly waving the ammonia under my nose. being of island heritage dad then jumped on the phone to call everyone he knew who offered a different 'cure'. i guess dad figured better to be safe than sorry and he tried them all.
i was given tea to drink... all i really know for sure is that it wasn't red rose. i am not really sure what was in the cup and it's likely best that i didn't know. i do remember my dad frying flour and feeding that to me. yes, you read that right... fried flour!! no i have no idea how you do that, i can only tell you that as far as taste sensations go... i encourage you all to give it a miss!!
trust me, the lure of mystery bush tea and fried flour is enough to encourage me to faint in my room... or should i not make it, get my azz in there before they find me!!
well this morning the walk down the hall took longer than usual. i had my hands out to help me find my way and i stumbled along as though i were drunk... but i made it. i fell on my bed and was instantly overwhelmed with an escalating body temperature, the sweats and ringing in my ears. i was like that for quite a while. fun? not so much. but eventually things calmed down. i thought about my half a shake still on the kitchen table and how much i would have liked to finish it.
then i thought about how far away the kitchen was and how i wasn't entirely sure i wouldn't pass out if i tried it again. so instead i decided to stay where i was and hopefully sleep it off. did i? i can't say for sure. i am at work but i definately don't feel right. i will consider it a victory to get through my shift without hitting the floor.
only 4 hours to go!! 3 if my client cancels.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
its been a long time
so its been well over two weeks since my last post. and is it me or did the beginning just sound a bit like a confession?
first of all the things that are different:
1. i am happy to report that the extreme overtime situation at work, seems to have died down for a while.
2. my early morning client went on a business trip and i got to sleep in a couple days this week. i hope he gets the job and has to leave the country almost immediately.
3. my face has lost some of its puffiness so it looks like i may have dropped a few.
4. the stupid members at the gym who set me off, have since learned to leave me alone.
5. and the best news... i'm sleeping again.
of course for everything that is different much still stays the same. unless buddy boy gets hired as i mentioned earlier i still will have the a.m. client to work with. he comes back tuesday and thursday for the last two sessions he has paid for to date. then i will take the following week off, as that is the week im heading to miami for the NPC nationals. if he doesn't get the job and insists on finishing his 36 sessions, then i will take two weeks off after every 10 sessions. the gym has no interest in making any changes to my schedule, so i have to do what i can to limit the load on my own.
i still hate, dispise, grossly dislike, abhor and a few other good words the job that fills the balance of my day. well i had spoken at length with the woman from the agency that placed me, in the hopes that she might have other options for me. i have yet to hear from her. someone else was fairly confident there might be a positioning opening up someplace closer to home, but i haven't heard recently if that would be happening anytime soon. so the other day i started circling the industry classifieds. maybe i will find something... keep your fingers crossed.
i was taking naturopathic products to help me relax and sleep. i basically took them for a little over a week. when i stopped being wound up and started to sleep better on my own i started experimenting on going without them. so far i seem to be doing good on my own. i've never been one to rely on medication anyway.
oh i almost forgot hip hop dance classes have started back up again.%
first of all the things that are different:
1. i am happy to report that the extreme overtime situation at work, seems to have died down for a while.
2. my early morning client went on a business trip and i got to sleep in a couple days this week. i hope he gets the job and has to leave the country almost immediately.
3. my face has lost some of its puffiness so it looks like i may have dropped a few.
4. the stupid members at the gym who set me off, have since learned to leave me alone.
5. and the best news... i'm sleeping again.
of course for everything that is different much still stays the same. unless buddy boy gets hired as i mentioned earlier i still will have the a.m. client to work with. he comes back tuesday and thursday for the last two sessions he has paid for to date. then i will take the following week off, as that is the week im heading to miami for the NPC nationals. if he doesn't get the job and insists on finishing his 36 sessions, then i will take two weeks off after every 10 sessions. the gym has no interest in making any changes to my schedule, so i have to do what i can to limit the load on my own.
i still hate, dispise, grossly dislike, abhor and a few other good words the job that fills the balance of my day. well i had spoken at length with the woman from the agency that placed me, in the hopes that she might have other options for me. i have yet to hear from her. someone else was fairly confident there might be a positioning opening up someplace closer to home, but i haven't heard recently if that would be happening anytime soon. so the other day i started circling the industry classifieds. maybe i will find something... keep your fingers crossed.
i was taking naturopathic products to help me relax and sleep. i basically took them for a little over a week. when i stopped being wound up and started to sleep better on my own i started experimenting on going without them. so far i seem to be doing good on my own. i've never been one to rely on medication anyway.
oh i almost forgot hip hop dance classes have started back up again.%
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
the slide continues
last night was another night of poor sleep... and todays workout sucked! i threw a few small fits... and ended up tapping out of cardio early.
i am not looking forward to the hours i will spend at work today.
i am not looking forward to the hours i will spend at work today.
Monday, October 16, 2006
hang on dorothy... kansas is about to go bye-bye
its been one hell of an interesting past few days. oh my friends where to begin? well I guess the most logical start point is back where I left off.
I saw george on Friday. george has been calling my diets for the past 6+ years. I went to see him because of my inability to control and/or correct my weight. I had been searching for information on the internet. I wanted to find out what to do, should you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having put on waaaay to much weight post show. I could find thousand upon thousands of articles that tell you why you shouldn’t do it, but nothing to tell you how to handle it once the damage was already done.
I told george how I ate like a 6 year old the entire two weeks, (I was not allowed to train), post show. and how I then went back into full diet mode to try to get back into show shape for my photo shoot. after 5 weeks of hard dieting the 6 year old returned and I ate pretty much like that until I started with Jennifer. I told him how I was currently 33lbs over my contest weight and no matter what I tried; dropping calories, upping cardio… none of it had any affect whatsoever.
the condition I was in, was of great concern to george. he has known me for over 6 years and said that he has never seen me like that before. I had a certain wild-eyed panicked stricken look about me. I guess the good thing about that was that it helped george see that my concerns were genuine and causing me a great deal of stress. it is that stress that is keeping me from making any changes to my physique regardless of how and what I try.
so george has a bevy of ideas to try. the first of which is getting me to calm da fawk down before I implode.
so what about Jennifer? that my friends is a decision to be made later.
I didn’t sleep very well satuday night and I was in no condition to get up and go to work on Sunday morning… but I did. and maybe that’s part of what happened. a couple of members got it into their heads that they wanted to discuss with me, the supplement program of my ex-training partner. well I’m sure you can appreciate that this was not a conversation I intended to have and I told them that straight up. they however had every intention of discussing it… and to discuss it with me no less. well I work there so my reactions to member comments have to be tempered and I was doing my level best to do that. but I am a giant bundle of nerves without provocation. to add insult to injury they decided to compare her physique to mine. the long and the short of it, I tried to make a joke ‘what are ya callin me small?? dude… you never tell a bodybuilder that they are small.’
well these two members are real mensa giants and they just kept pushing till I couldn’t take it anymore.. well I couldn’t hit either of them I chose to slam my hand down onto the counter top pretty much as hard as I could. hard enough to cause the cash register to fly open all by itself, hard enough to crush the ring that I wear on my hand. I was literally shaking at this point I was that angry.
I decided to cancel my afternoon client and speed racer and I took our bikes out for a ride.
I am glad of two things yesterday… one that speed racer was free to go riding and two that jade started up on the first try. im sure had she decided to be finicky and difficult I would have ended up in my backyard in the fetal position screaming into my helmet.
I saw george on Friday. george has been calling my diets for the past 6+ years. I went to see him because of my inability to control and/or correct my weight. I had been searching for information on the internet. I wanted to find out what to do, should you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having put on waaaay to much weight post show. I could find thousand upon thousands of articles that tell you why you shouldn’t do it, but nothing to tell you how to handle it once the damage was already done.
I told george how I ate like a 6 year old the entire two weeks, (I was not allowed to train), post show. and how I then went back into full diet mode to try to get back into show shape for my photo shoot. after 5 weeks of hard dieting the 6 year old returned and I ate pretty much like that until I started with Jennifer. I told him how I was currently 33lbs over my contest weight and no matter what I tried; dropping calories, upping cardio… none of it had any affect whatsoever.
the condition I was in, was of great concern to george. he has known me for over 6 years and said that he has never seen me like that before. I had a certain wild-eyed panicked stricken look about me. I guess the good thing about that was that it helped george see that my concerns were genuine and causing me a great deal of stress. it is that stress that is keeping me from making any changes to my physique regardless of how and what I try.
so george has a bevy of ideas to try. the first of which is getting me to calm da fawk down before I implode.
so what about Jennifer? that my friends is a decision to be made later.
I didn’t sleep very well satuday night and I was in no condition to get up and go to work on Sunday morning… but I did. and maybe that’s part of what happened. a couple of members got it into their heads that they wanted to discuss with me, the supplement program of my ex-training partner. well I’m sure you can appreciate that this was not a conversation I intended to have and I told them that straight up. they however had every intention of discussing it… and to discuss it with me no less. well I work there so my reactions to member comments have to be tempered and I was doing my level best to do that. but I am a giant bundle of nerves without provocation. to add insult to injury they decided to compare her physique to mine. the long and the short of it, I tried to make a joke ‘what are ya callin me small?? dude… you never tell a bodybuilder that they are small.’
well these two members are real mensa giants and they just kept pushing till I couldn’t take it anymore.. well I couldn’t hit either of them I chose to slam my hand down onto the counter top pretty much as hard as I could. hard enough to cause the cash register to fly open all by itself, hard enough to crush the ring that I wear on my hand. I was literally shaking at this point I was that angry.
I decided to cancel my afternoon client and speed racer and I took our bikes out for a ride.
I am glad of two things yesterday… one that speed racer was free to go riding and two that jade started up on the first try. im sure had she decided to be finicky and difficult I would have ended up in my backyard in the fetal position screaming into my helmet.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
the more things change...
the more they stay the same.
i cannot get the scale to move. this morning i cut off more calories. i have now cut a total of 800 calories off this bulking plan. why won't the scale move? why am i still 33lbs over contest weight??
i understand that stress factors into it... but with less calories going in, something should give.
so whats the new plan? i'm going to book an appointment to see george, the guy who has been doing my diet for the past 6 years. i want him to show me where the error is in this current plan.
and what about jennifer? well... i still haven't addressed my posing questions. partially because right now it's too fawking depressing to look as my fat azz in my posing suit. hopefully i can start to make some positive changes with my weight and then i can fix the posing. maybe one more month.
i cannot get the scale to move. this morning i cut off more calories. i have now cut a total of 800 calories off this bulking plan. why won't the scale move? why am i still 33lbs over contest weight??
i understand that stress factors into it... but with less calories going in, something should give.
so whats the new plan? i'm going to book an appointment to see george, the guy who has been doing my diet for the past 6 years. i want him to show me where the error is in this current plan.
and what about jennifer? well... i still haven't addressed my posing questions. partially because right now it's too fawking depressing to look as my fat azz in my posing suit. hopefully i can start to make some positive changes with my weight and then i can fix the posing. maybe one more month.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
getting caught up
time to catch you up on the going's on in my life... or the lack thereof, depending upon whom you talk to.
it's sunday and i write this in the first hour of my gym shift. it's one of my worst performances on record. i am dead on my feet, i don't think i mailed in a shift this badly in the midst of show prep.
so what has me so tired and devoid of energy? simply i'm not sleeping. those of you who know are likely to give me sh!t. you will reiterate the importance of rest and subsequently growth. i will of course agree with you... however, there are two variables in my life that i can not seem to control; the length of my work day and my ability to shut my brain off and fall asleep. the longer my work day the more active my brain and the less i sleep.
i recently slept through my alarm and i missed half of a training appointment. i don't remember if i mentioned it but i now have a client to train for 36 sessions, tuesday and thursday mornings at 5:30 am. i used to sleep in on my three off days. now i can only sleep in on saturdays. since i've slept through that alarm i've been scared of sleeping through others. i'm afraid to sleep deeply and even more afraid to nap.
training throughout all of this nonsense has been amazing. i am moving way more poundage than ever before. in fact my big three total now sits at 655lbs (based on a 5-8 rep range).
the only downside is the scale. it has leapt to the right and it refuses to budge. i've talked over my weight dilemma with a variety of people because frankly it's really beginning to freak me out. 'coach jen' says not to worry about the added weight right now. she figures that my work schedule and lack of rest have me holding water, (which is one of the bodies stress responses). my boss who does my show prep training had this to say, and i will try to capture all of the eloquence of his statement. "you better quit that sh!t right now... see george.. do whatever it is you have to do... but fix that right now!!". one of my friends from the boards is currently 50lbs over her show weight and fails to see my problem. when i spelled it out for her she noted, "thats the problem with being natty".
well i'm not comfortable at this weight. and i sure as fawk don't want to have to drop 30+ lbs trying to get into show shape. so i've been hacking calories off of my diet plan. i've cut 600 calories off per day and i am currently doing 30 minutes of cardio per training day. my plan, and i do have one, is to be a respectable 155 lbs by the time i go to miami. once i stabilize my weight i will attempt to cut back to off season maintenance cardio. if i can't maintain my wieght with 20 mins of cardio i will have no other recourse but to shave off some more calories.
bodybuilding is a continuous learning process. it's about finding our how your body reacts so you can effectively maninipulate it to promote change.
and of course about being the biggest and the best LOL
it's sunday and i write this in the first hour of my gym shift. it's one of my worst performances on record. i am dead on my feet, i don't think i mailed in a shift this badly in the midst of show prep.
so what has me so tired and devoid of energy? simply i'm not sleeping. those of you who know are likely to give me sh!t. you will reiterate the importance of rest and subsequently growth. i will of course agree with you... however, there are two variables in my life that i can not seem to control; the length of my work day and my ability to shut my brain off and fall asleep. the longer my work day the more active my brain and the less i sleep.
i recently slept through my alarm and i missed half of a training appointment. i don't remember if i mentioned it but i now have a client to train for 36 sessions, tuesday and thursday mornings at 5:30 am. i used to sleep in on my three off days. now i can only sleep in on saturdays. since i've slept through that alarm i've been scared of sleeping through others. i'm afraid to sleep deeply and even more afraid to nap.
training throughout all of this nonsense has been amazing. i am moving way more poundage than ever before. in fact my big three total now sits at 655lbs (based on a 5-8 rep range).
the only downside is the scale. it has leapt to the right and it refuses to budge. i've talked over my weight dilemma with a variety of people because frankly it's really beginning to freak me out. 'coach jen' says not to worry about the added weight right now. she figures that my work schedule and lack of rest have me holding water, (which is one of the bodies stress responses). my boss who does my show prep training had this to say, and i will try to capture all of the eloquence of his statement. "you better quit that sh!t right now... see george.. do whatever it is you have to do... but fix that right now!!". one of my friends from the boards is currently 50lbs over her show weight and fails to see my problem. when i spelled it out for her she noted, "thats the problem with being natty".
well i'm not comfortable at this weight. and i sure as fawk don't want to have to drop 30+ lbs trying to get into show shape. so i've been hacking calories off of my diet plan. i've cut 600 calories off per day and i am currently doing 30 minutes of cardio per training day. my plan, and i do have one, is to be a respectable 155 lbs by the time i go to miami. once i stabilize my weight i will attempt to cut back to off season maintenance cardio. if i can't maintain my wieght with 20 mins of cardio i will have no other recourse but to shave off some more calories.
bodybuilding is a continuous learning process. it's about finding our how your body reacts so you can effectively maninipulate it to promote change.
and of course about being the biggest and the best LOL
Saturday, September 30, 2006
there is no spoon
of late i've started to notice how live is actually a lot like the matrix trilogy... or maybe it's just my life? when the final movie came out alot of people were disgusted to find that it essentially ended exactly where the first one began.
i can see how as an audience we are frustrated by not having a story that was tidied up nicely. but i can see to that many of us live in circles. what was old, became new again. lifestyles put behind us are embraced again.
i live in my own circle. the more i change the more ultimately, i stay exactly the same. i've always lived a very 'safe' existance. now those of you who know of the years skating, skiing, alpine racing, snowboarding and now motorcycling riding... well you might feel the need to challenge that statement but trust me, it is true.
perhaps one of the many things that may have kept me from the upperechelon of rollerblading was my inability to step too far outside my box. i skated safe and in by doing so, i never really had the 'success' that i might have. in rollerblading fear breeds failure... or at the very least it can get you hurt! when i was racing my 'success' stalled when i was unable to 'push it' enough to get to the next level.
what about now? well there are those who believe that i am capable of far more than i have achieved thus far on the gym floor. that i can move much more weight than i give myself credit for. that may veryily well be true... it would be classic miche. even when i look like i am leaping far outside my box... it is a measured risk.
so if i myself cannot leave my past behind... then i can not be suprised when others can't leave their pasts behind either.
my friend in jersey is proud of me for many things, one of which is venturing outside of my box. i wonder though, am i really outside of it? or is it that i am just pushing the walls a little... so that the box itself is getting a little bigger?
i am not a religious lass... but i do hope that there is something in this universe that will protect us all from the choices we insist on reliving.
please be safe
i can see how as an audience we are frustrated by not having a story that was tidied up nicely. but i can see to that many of us live in circles. what was old, became new again. lifestyles put behind us are embraced again.
i live in my own circle. the more i change the more ultimately, i stay exactly the same. i've always lived a very 'safe' existance. now those of you who know of the years skating, skiing, alpine racing, snowboarding and now motorcycling riding... well you might feel the need to challenge that statement but trust me, it is true.
perhaps one of the many things that may have kept me from the upperechelon of rollerblading was my inability to step too far outside my box. i skated safe and in by doing so, i never really had the 'success' that i might have. in rollerblading fear breeds failure... or at the very least it can get you hurt! when i was racing my 'success' stalled when i was unable to 'push it' enough to get to the next level.
what about now? well there are those who believe that i am capable of far more than i have achieved thus far on the gym floor. that i can move much more weight than i give myself credit for. that may veryily well be true... it would be classic miche. even when i look like i am leaping far outside my box... it is a measured risk.
so if i myself cannot leave my past behind... then i can not be suprised when others can't leave their pasts behind either.
my friend in jersey is proud of me for many things, one of which is venturing outside of my box. i wonder though, am i really outside of it? or is it that i am just pushing the walls a little... so that the box itself is getting a little bigger?
i am not a religious lass... but i do hope that there is something in this universe that will protect us all from the choices we insist on reliving.
please be safe
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
oddly enough...
ya know when i was restricting my calories, cutting my carbs and/or removing them entirely i was not as b*tchy mcnasty as i am now. i'm having more calories than i ever have, carbs by the boat load and my mood is distinctly foul. the best i can come up with is that i was equally perturbed during show prep but since i wasn't getting the carbs and calories i needed i just didn't have the energy to do more than feel pissy. these days it is taking everything i have and then some to keep from slapping the taste out of somebody's mouth.
thankfully i have thursday and friday off of work. i was hoping to spend some time logging some more km's on jade but sadly mother nature looks like she has other plans.
thankfully i have thursday and friday off of work. i was hoping to spend some time logging some more km's on jade but sadly mother nature looks like she has other plans.
Monday, September 25, 2006
catching ya up
i went to a bodybuilding show this past weekend. i got to see ifbb pro autmn raby guest pose. due to the funky nature of this sport i rarely get the opportunity to see pro fbb’s pose. saturday was a nice change of pace. i found autmn to be very engaging, she really interacted with the crowd… i liked that. she crawled around on the stage more than i would have liked but… well ya can’t have everything.
ever since i missed the opportunity to meet and talk to lenda murray i have made more of a concentrated effort to meet and or talk to other fbb’s. so i went over to autumn, got a signed picture and told her that i enjoyed her performance. she was very nice, and she wrote that she couldn’t wait to see me up on stage. i told her that i was currently bulking for next year and as i walked away she wished me luck. i’ve met pro athletes who know what it means to be a pro and sadly i’ve met others that haven’t a clue.
much to my immediate displeasure i have been given a new client at the gym. i know what your thinking. but miche when do you have time to fit a new client into your schedule. well i don’t so i’m really not too impressed about this recent turn of events. but i guess i have to suck it up if i want to keep things comfy at the gym. the new client starts tomorrow. he has purchased 36 sessions, two times a week, tuesdays and thursdays at 5:30 a.m the time is non-negotiable. so for the next 5 months i will only be able to sleep in on saturdays. so much for fawkin growing.
i have to buy my plane ticket for miami today. i already have my ticket to the show, the 2006 npc nationals. and now i have two athletes to cheer for; elena seiple and andrea gahan. i will also be rooming with andrea, so that’s going to be both interesting, entertaining and a tad scary all at the same time.
ever since i missed the opportunity to meet and talk to lenda murray i have made more of a concentrated effort to meet and or talk to other fbb’s. so i went over to autumn, got a signed picture and told her that i enjoyed her performance. she was very nice, and she wrote that she couldn’t wait to see me up on stage. i told her that i was currently bulking for next year and as i walked away she wished me luck. i’ve met pro athletes who know what it means to be a pro and sadly i’ve met others that haven’t a clue.
much to my immediate displeasure i have been given a new client at the gym. i know what your thinking. but miche when do you have time to fit a new client into your schedule. well i don’t so i’m really not too impressed about this recent turn of events. but i guess i have to suck it up if i want to keep things comfy at the gym. the new client starts tomorrow. he has purchased 36 sessions, two times a week, tuesdays and thursdays at 5:30 a.m the time is non-negotiable. so for the next 5 months i will only be able to sleep in on saturdays. so much for fawkin growing.
i have to buy my plane ticket for miami today. i already have my ticket to the show, the 2006 npc nationals. and now i have two athletes to cheer for; elena seiple and andrea gahan. i will also be rooming with andrea, so that’s going to be both interesting, entertaining and a tad scary all at the same time.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
on my mind
lately there is always so much on my mind. i wonder if its a good thing or a bad thing that i spend so much time alone. because lately i spend so much of it thinking. thinking would not be bad if the thinking resulted in action or decisions but currently it just seems to result in... yup you guessed it, more thinking.
the online training thing is not easy. it's open to interpretation and i often wonder if i am doing what i am supposed to be doing or if i misunderstood. on one hand training is training but on the other i really want to make the most of this arrangement, while i have it.
work is clearly becoming a negative situation. i spend too much of my day unhappy, coupled with less days in the gym i find i am more easily agitated.
i am still trying to work through that trust issue i mentioned a few posts back. so far things are going well but it is early and i guess they could go to sh!t as quickly as they seemed to have gotten better. i am also trying to decide how i am going to spend this weekend. and more importantly will i be able to live with myself whatever i decide to do?
one of my friends is leaving. it is a shame because we barely hung out, but she has been there for me, in ways that some other people haven't been. i will miss her, but she feels that its time for her to head back home. tomorrow her and i will go for lunch. i intend to pick up the tab, to thank her for all she has done.
like i can afford to lose anymore friends. bah!
the online training thing is not easy. it's open to interpretation and i often wonder if i am doing what i am supposed to be doing or if i misunderstood. on one hand training is training but on the other i really want to make the most of this arrangement, while i have it.
work is clearly becoming a negative situation. i spend too much of my day unhappy, coupled with less days in the gym i find i am more easily agitated.
i am still trying to work through that trust issue i mentioned a few posts back. so far things are going well but it is early and i guess they could go to sh!t as quickly as they seemed to have gotten better. i am also trying to decide how i am going to spend this weekend. and more importantly will i be able to live with myself whatever i decide to do?
one of my friends is leaving. it is a shame because we barely hung out, but she has been there for me, in ways that some other people haven't been. i will miss her, but she feels that its time for her to head back home. tomorrow her and i will go for lunch. i intend to pick up the tab, to thank her for all she has done.
like i can afford to lose anymore friends. bah!
Saturday, September 16, 2006
go speed racer
it's hard to get over the change that overcomes my friend when you add a few hundred cc's. she tends to show a more quiet and reserved exterior but get her on her bike and watch out!! she becomes animated to the enth power. she talks a bit louder, the gestures more emphatically, she figdets on the bike, she wriggles her legs on the pegs, she sticks her legs out to the side, when she is not on the bike she paces like a toddler that has to go potty and she makes these grandiose statements that crack me up. why? well because she is completely serious when she says them.
here are a few of my favourite speed racerisms:
once while trying to decide where to ride speed racer declared that we should 'just ride where the road takes us man', of course complete with the far and away hand gesture.
and today, again while trying to pick a direction to ride in she says 'we have all this...', a broad sweeping hand motion from her left to the right side of her body, '...and all of this', pointing to the restaurant directly behind her, 'but we dont have this'. i collapsed over my tank in a fit of giggles. i dont know what the fawk she was talking about but i've never seen anyone so serious.
here are a few of my favourite speed racerisms:
once while trying to decide where to ride speed racer declared that we should 'just ride where the road takes us man', of course complete with the far and away hand gesture.
and today, again while trying to pick a direction to ride in she says 'we have all this...', a broad sweeping hand motion from her left to the right side of her body, '...and all of this', pointing to the restaurant directly behind her, 'but we dont have this'. i collapsed over my tank in a fit of giggles. i dont know what the fawk she was talking about but i've never seen anyone so serious.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
zombie by day, vampire by night
now before you go running off to sharpen the stakes and/or clean the local grocery out of garlic allow me to explain. i've been experiencing sleeplessness or just all around poor sleep patterns of late. not much seems to be able to shut the neural activity off and my nights are full of tossing and turning. before its long its morning and i have to be up, only problem is that's when i am ready to sleep.
i am suffering and my training is affected as well.
i am really quite concerned about one of my friends, a very bad, very challenging situation continues to escalate. i am really not sure how much more my friend can take. even my friend is starting to feel well past the breaking point. when it gets dark like this my friend tends to cocoon and is very hard to reach. since i know how dark and desperate things are... i worry.
i had my mid-year review a couple days ago at work. suprisingly it went well, alot better than i expected. i basically was expecting as bad a review as last time. i have to admit the impending review contributed to my sleeplessness a bit as well.
today i called the placement agency i used when i was freelancing. i have to admit that i am truly not happy at work. i can't help but think that my decision to accept full-time employment there was a mistake. since most mistakes can be corrected, i am currently trying to explore my options before deciding upon my next step.
but the question is... will i sleep tonight?
i am suffering and my training is affected as well.
i am really quite concerned about one of my friends, a very bad, very challenging situation continues to escalate. i am really not sure how much more my friend can take. even my friend is starting to feel well past the breaking point. when it gets dark like this my friend tends to cocoon and is very hard to reach. since i know how dark and desperate things are... i worry.
i had my mid-year review a couple days ago at work. suprisingly it went well, alot better than i expected. i basically was expecting as bad a review as last time. i have to admit the impending review contributed to my sleeplessness a bit as well.
today i called the placement agency i used when i was freelancing. i have to admit that i am truly not happy at work. i can't help but think that my decision to accept full-time employment there was a mistake. since most mistakes can be corrected, i am currently trying to explore my options before deciding upon my next step.
but the question is... will i sleep tonight?
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
to err is be human...
i am human, no really i am and i make mistakes... sometimes lots of them. i've made a couple recently and do you know what happens when i make a mistake? well i start agonizing over it, regretting it and wishing that i could undo it. but alas what is done is done, so without a delorean and a flux capacitor there is nothing i can do save learn from it and try not to do it again... and of course in my special case, sleep poorly.
i said something stupid to a friend yesterday. it was not meant in any sort of malicious way, i was trying to be funny i just didn't realize all of the implications behind my joke. i am sure she has probably forgotten about it which since it was offensive to her is good, i however will feel like an azz for some time.
on the weekend i sent a 'hey, hope your having a fantastic weekend and what do you think about this...', email to jennifer and last night i read on her members blog that things have been rough in her family since last week thursday. and again i wear the azz hat.
okay so we have covered my ability to err, what of my ability to forgive? well that is the other part of my recent bout of sleeplessness. can i trust someone who has let me down before? should i forgive and forget? and can i? i guess the answer is how would i feel if my friend from yesterday held my stupid comment against me??
i said something stupid to a friend yesterday. it was not meant in any sort of malicious way, i was trying to be funny i just didn't realize all of the implications behind my joke. i am sure she has probably forgotten about it which since it was offensive to her is good, i however will feel like an azz for some time.
on the weekend i sent a 'hey, hope your having a fantastic weekend and what do you think about this...', email to jennifer and last night i read on her members blog that things have been rough in her family since last week thursday. and again i wear the azz hat.
okay so we have covered my ability to err, what of my ability to forgive? well that is the other part of my recent bout of sleeplessness. can i trust someone who has let me down before? should i forgive and forget? and can i? i guess the answer is how would i feel if my friend from yesterday held my stupid comment against me??
Sunday, September 10, 2006
can ya be too nice?
apparently the answer to this question is yes. and i for one find that odd. i have always believed that you put out in the universe what you hope to get back. so i tend to be nice, but some have told me that i am too nice. so what is the accepted level of 'niceness'?
if my friends have problems, need a friend or a shoulder to lean on i am there for them. well as long as they aren't crying. i don't do tears. hey... maybe i'm not that nice after all??
i do want to do something nice for my coach and his woman. i've recently heard from a fbb who had to change coaches mid show prep. considering how close the show date is, that's got to be rough. this trend as terrifying as it sounds in not that uncommon, particularly when one is being prepped by a competitive athlete. i spoke at length with another fbb who had a similar experience. she felt completely abandoned by her coach 8 weeks out from her first show. rather than get a new coach this fbb tried to gamely go it alone. doing all of the final prep herself.
i think she needs to applaud herself for her bravery and forgive herself for not 'coming in', in the shape she wanted to. as she was basically 'guessing' and going it alone she is a winner in spirit and internal fortitude.
my coach had a whole wack of sh!t going on in his life particularly in the final days before my show. but push to shove he was there for me. all my calls were answered or promptly returned and all my fears and/or concerns were addressed. his lady helped me alot as well. she was instrumental in my stage presentation. for my make up, stage colour, hair and oil she was there. i am sure i would have looked a royal mess without her.
i need them to know their efforts were appreciated. especially in light of my decision to 'offseason' under jennifer's guidance. i want to ensure my coach knows he is still my first choice and that come next year... i want the same people in my corner.
if my friends have problems, need a friend or a shoulder to lean on i am there for them. well as long as they aren't crying. i don't do tears. hey... maybe i'm not that nice after all??
i do want to do something nice for my coach and his woman. i've recently heard from a fbb who had to change coaches mid show prep. considering how close the show date is, that's got to be rough. this trend as terrifying as it sounds in not that uncommon, particularly when one is being prepped by a competitive athlete. i spoke at length with another fbb who had a similar experience. she felt completely abandoned by her coach 8 weeks out from her first show. rather than get a new coach this fbb tried to gamely go it alone. doing all of the final prep herself.
i think she needs to applaud herself for her bravery and forgive herself for not 'coming in', in the shape she wanted to. as she was basically 'guessing' and going it alone she is a winner in spirit and internal fortitude.
my coach had a whole wack of sh!t going on in his life particularly in the final days before my show. but push to shove he was there for me. all my calls were answered or promptly returned and all my fears and/or concerns were addressed. his lady helped me alot as well. she was instrumental in my stage presentation. for my make up, stage colour, hair and oil she was there. i am sure i would have looked a royal mess without her.
i need them to know their efforts were appreciated. especially in light of my decision to 'offseason' under jennifer's guidance. i want to ensure my coach knows he is still my first choice and that come next year... i want the same people in my corner.
Friday, September 08, 2006
change will do you good?
todays marks the third new workout, that i have implemented since i've been working with jennifer. it is still too early to tell if things feel any different. the only concern i have is how long my knee's will be able to hold up. 10 years of falling out of the sky has taken there toll on my knee joints and some of the stuff that i need to do to bring about change is hard on the knee's.
i somehow managed to hurt myself tuesday and i had to get in to see my sports physiotherapist pretty quickly. that meant that wednesdays planned workout (chest/triceps/calves) had to be swapped with saturdays (back/biceps/calves). i am sure my poor back and hamstrings are wondering what the hell is going on. switching from the way i was training to this method happened over the course of a weekend. i had done my typical quad workout on the friday and my normal back workout on saturday. i was off sunday and started the new way monday with shoulders/hamstrings/abs. of course then i hurt myself and wednesday i was hitting my back again. oh well stuff happens like that, you just deal and move on.
yesterday was my second off day for the week and it was difficult to say the least. i was quite the bear. everything annoyed me i was angry, frustrated and i really wanted nothing more than to haul off and pound on someone. around midday i got the brilliant idea to go for a walk to 'cool off'. probably not my best decision. the elevator stopped on every floor on the way down. at the last stop 8 people got into an already occupied elevator, which of course set off my claustraphobia. as soon as the doors opened i wanted OUT but that group of 8 moved, 8 abreast and walked at the pace of congealed molasses. i practically exploded through the revolving doors in my haste to get out of the building. my walk was ineffective to make a long story short, the kilted dude who plays the bagpipes on the corner came this close to having to have his pipes surgically removed from his nether regions.
i sure hope this cranky behaviour doesn't continue
i somehow managed to hurt myself tuesday and i had to get in to see my sports physiotherapist pretty quickly. that meant that wednesdays planned workout (chest/triceps/calves) had to be swapped with saturdays (back/biceps/calves). i am sure my poor back and hamstrings are wondering what the hell is going on. switching from the way i was training to this method happened over the course of a weekend. i had done my typical quad workout on the friday and my normal back workout on saturday. i was off sunday and started the new way monday with shoulders/hamstrings/abs. of course then i hurt myself and wednesday i was hitting my back again. oh well stuff happens like that, you just deal and move on.
yesterday was my second off day for the week and it was difficult to say the least. i was quite the bear. everything annoyed me i was angry, frustrated and i really wanted nothing more than to haul off and pound on someone. around midday i got the brilliant idea to go for a walk to 'cool off'. probably not my best decision. the elevator stopped on every floor on the way down. at the last stop 8 people got into an already occupied elevator, which of course set off my claustraphobia. as soon as the doors opened i wanted OUT but that group of 8 moved, 8 abreast and walked at the pace of congealed molasses. i practically exploded through the revolving doors in my haste to get out of the building. my walk was ineffective to make a long story short, the kilted dude who plays the bagpipes on the corner came this close to having to have his pipes surgically removed from his nether regions.
i sure hope this cranky behaviour doesn't continue
Monday, September 04, 2006
brand new battle plan
as i mentioned jennifer is helping me with my offseason program. as i feared her first order of business was to hack away at one of my training days. so i am now only training 4 days of the week. she suspects i might be a hard gainer and require more rest to grow. she also recommends that i nap on the weekends which i did successfully sunday and that put me into a bit of a pickle.
she also thinks i need more food to grow as well and has bumped up my daily caloric intake by heaps. getting it all in is tough. the nap that i attempted to take on sunday turned into a 5 hour sleep. i woke up 1 hour before my bedtime with four meals left to consume. needless to say i was up for hours!
today was my first training day. the split is different, the rep scheme is different and we will be introducing some new exercises as well. its going to take some getting used to as i suppose change generally does. jennifer likes to keep the workouts varied to shock the muscles and keep them guessing. i tend to be a creature of habit so constantly doing a new workout is going to be a challenge in and of itself. good thing i like challenge.
i learned during my last offseason that cottage cheese tasted very good when added to muscle milk strawberry protein powder. i learned last night however that it does not go with muscle milk's chocolate mint flavour. i don't really enjoy eating cottage cheese but until i get some new protein i guess i will be soldiering in the 1/2 cup at night.
the things we do for mass.
she also thinks i need more food to grow as well and has bumped up my daily caloric intake by heaps. getting it all in is tough. the nap that i attempted to take on sunday turned into a 5 hour sleep. i woke up 1 hour before my bedtime with four meals left to consume. needless to say i was up for hours!
today was my first training day. the split is different, the rep scheme is different and we will be introducing some new exercises as well. its going to take some getting used to as i suppose change generally does. jennifer likes to keep the workouts varied to shock the muscles and keep them guessing. i tend to be a creature of habit so constantly doing a new workout is going to be a challenge in and of itself. good thing i like challenge.
i learned during my last offseason that cottage cheese tasted very good when added to muscle milk strawberry protein powder. i learned last night however that it does not go with muscle milk's chocolate mint flavour. i don't really enjoy eating cottage cheese but until i get some new protein i guess i will be soldiering in the 1/2 cup at night.
the things we do for mass.
Friday, September 01, 2006
before i forget... again
an interesting thing happened this morning at the gym. i almost forgot about it in the excitement of setting a new squat personal best. first you have to understand that when i train i have the mp3 player on with the ear buds buried in my ear canals. i'm told there is a look of intensity on my face as well. so then why mid workout do i have people coming up to complain to me about the radio station?!!
some random member comes up between sets and starts squawkin about there being too much talk on the radio. now there was a guy who was actually working... well he would have been working, if he would remember to get out from behind the juice bar and i dunno clean something up or put something away! oops did i just type that?
anyway back to the random member, so i politely listen even though in my head i'm thinking "fool, why are you bothering me?". i can't remember all what he said at one point it was just lips flapping and then he said something to the effect that i "didn't have to go change the radio now." sometimes i wish we were allowed to strike rude and or stupid members.
wednesday morning my workout was also interrupted. that time by a female member who is a fan of my old training partner. she will often stop me to ask questions about what the old training partner is up to, so usually when i see her in they gym i try to play 'keep away'. i'm not trying to be mean, i just have a job to do. i patiently entertain all of her queries in the locker room. you would think she would tire of hearing me say "i dont know" and "i havent see her". so the next time i see my old training partner i am supposed to tell her to email this woman. that poor woman doesn't understand... i can't tell her to do anything, and i stopped trying a long time ago.
sometimes the only solution is to train somewhere else. last week saturday i went and trained at a gym that one of my friends from the board goes too. it was nice nobody complaining to me about the stereo, because somebody was on the step mill too long,...
speaking of step mills... what is wrong with you people. i got on that machine from hell a total of 4 times during contest prep, i prolly should have been on it more... but i hate that fawkin thing. why da fawk would ya go on it when ya weren't trying to get down to single digits in body fat? and further why the fawk would ya stay on it too long?? what are these people smokin!!!!
some random member comes up between sets and starts squawkin about there being too much talk on the radio. now there was a guy who was actually working... well he would have been working, if he would remember to get out from behind the juice bar and i dunno clean something up or put something away! oops did i just type that?
anyway back to the random member, so i politely listen even though in my head i'm thinking "fool, why are you bothering me?". i can't remember all what he said at one point it was just lips flapping and then he said something to the effect that i "didn't have to go change the radio now." sometimes i wish we were allowed to strike rude and or stupid members.
wednesday morning my workout was also interrupted. that time by a female member who is a fan of my old training partner. she will often stop me to ask questions about what the old training partner is up to, so usually when i see her in they gym i try to play 'keep away'. i'm not trying to be mean, i just have a job to do. i patiently entertain all of her queries in the locker room. you would think she would tire of hearing me say "i dont know" and "i havent see her". so the next time i see my old training partner i am supposed to tell her to email this woman. that poor woman doesn't understand... i can't tell her to do anything, and i stopped trying a long time ago.
sometimes the only solution is to train somewhere else. last week saturday i went and trained at a gym that one of my friends from the board goes too. it was nice nobody complaining to me about the stereo, because somebody was on the step mill too long,...
speaking of step mills... what is wrong with you people. i got on that machine from hell a total of 4 times during contest prep, i prolly should have been on it more... but i hate that fawkin thing. why da fawk would ya go on it when ya weren't trying to get down to single digits in body fat? and further why the fawk would ya stay on it too long?? what are these people smokin!!!!
random thoughts
while at the gym this morning i happened to notice the new signage in the womens' bathroom. mediacom or somebody puts up lifestyle advertising at the gym and its changed from time to time. so i'm in a stall and i'm staring at this ad for summer's eve feminine wipes. not exactly the most entertaining of reading but there wasn't a whole lot of choice and i was a captive audience. i am also in the advertising field, so i couldn't help but scan the ad. it was the tag line at the end that really got me thinking 'enjoy being a woman'. okay i have one question... exactly what the hell is in those wipes!!
i took the bike into work yesterday and i have to admit that i don't feel as 'safe' at work as i once did. i walked into the building wearing a joe rocket motorcycle jacket, boots and i had a motorcycle helmet in my hand. the guy who is at the desk, who's job is building security, says to me "do you ride a motorcycle?". this is a multilevel office tower, there are countless people wandering in and out of this building all day. this guy is my last line of defence. i think i'm frightened.
i took the bike into work yesterday and i have to admit that i don't feel as 'safe' at work as i once did. i walked into the building wearing a joe rocket motorcycle jacket, boots and i had a motorcycle helmet in my hand. the guy who is at the desk, who's job is building security, says to me "do you ride a motorcycle?". this is a multilevel office tower, there are countless people wandering in and out of this building all day. this guy is my last line of defence. i think i'm frightened.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
its been a long time...
once again its come to my attention that i haven’t been keeping up with my updates. bad miche!
when we last left off i had told you that i was going to try some of jennifer abrams ideas during my offseason. well i have given her all the information she requires to get us going. she is going to see what manipulations we can make to my training to help bring up some of my lagging areas and she is also going to try to see if she can make some improvements in my posing. i will let you know how that goes. we start september 1st.
went ahead and popped my head even further out of my shell. posted up several, very tiny, colour pics from my shoot on my board. for the most part i’ve been told that i look beautiful and gorgeous and other odd choices like that. there was even a couple of posters who were most curious to figure out wether my hair was in braids or curls. for someone who is still dealing with the ‘smallness’ issue, all the comments about beauty and hair do not sit well with the athlete who lives within. i guess its because when they were asking to see the shots they assured me that they would tell me honestly if they could see a bber. since they aren’t mentioning it… i can only assume they can’t.
the family went to hawaii on the family cruise and now they are back. usually i’m incredibly lonely when i am home alone and usually i hate the lonliness. interestingly enough this time it wasn’t as bad. of course in true ma and pa form they started bickering almost immediately upon returning home. mom asked me to go buy her chinese food for dinner, dad assumed that he would eat some of that and that started the first war. then they would get into it when one or the other would start trying to recount some holiday adventure. the other one not telling the story would correct some minor detail and then the story telling would stop while they bicker incessantly over the minor detail to a story that wasn’t exactly holding my interest in the first place. so i would use that time to head to the silence and the sanctity of my room.
oh talked to my nutritionist about my poor sleep patterns. i’ve been having trouble establishing normal sleeping patterns. some of my friends were suggesting some sort of sleep aid. but my nutritionist knows me and my pattern on insomniac behaviour. he knows its stress related, he says the sleep aid would get me sleep, but would not fix the problem. he has given me some suggestions to help get to sleep and ive been able to get about 5 hours a night since ive been trying it.
sleep is good
when we last left off i had told you that i was going to try some of jennifer abrams ideas during my offseason. well i have given her all the information she requires to get us going. she is going to see what manipulations we can make to my training to help bring up some of my lagging areas and she is also going to try to see if she can make some improvements in my posing. i will let you know how that goes. we start september 1st.
went ahead and popped my head even further out of my shell. posted up several, very tiny, colour pics from my shoot on my board. for the most part i’ve been told that i look beautiful and gorgeous and other odd choices like that. there was even a couple of posters who were most curious to figure out wether my hair was in braids or curls. for someone who is still dealing with the ‘smallness’ issue, all the comments about beauty and hair do not sit well with the athlete who lives within. i guess its because when they were asking to see the shots they assured me that they would tell me honestly if they could see a bber. since they aren’t mentioning it… i can only assume they can’t.
the family went to hawaii on the family cruise and now they are back. usually i’m incredibly lonely when i am home alone and usually i hate the lonliness. interestingly enough this time it wasn’t as bad. of course in true ma and pa form they started bickering almost immediately upon returning home. mom asked me to go buy her chinese food for dinner, dad assumed that he would eat some of that and that started the first war. then they would get into it when one or the other would start trying to recount some holiday adventure. the other one not telling the story would correct some minor detail and then the story telling would stop while they bicker incessantly over the minor detail to a story that wasn’t exactly holding my interest in the first place. so i would use that time to head to the silence and the sanctity of my room.
oh talked to my nutritionist about my poor sleep patterns. i’ve been having trouble establishing normal sleeping patterns. some of my friends were suggesting some sort of sleep aid. but my nutritionist knows me and my pattern on insomniac behaviour. he knows its stress related, he says the sleep aid would get me sleep, but would not fix the problem. he has given me some suggestions to help get to sleep and ive been able to get about 5 hours a night since ive been trying it.
sleep is good
Thursday, August 24, 2006
a quick update
just another quick post to let you know i'm still here. i haven't collapsed in some overly dramatic depressed funk. in fact my mood is currently quite the opposite!!
as you know i've been feeling quite small and less and less like a bodybuilder. well my friends, my coach... they all tried to tell me that i was every bit the bodybuilder regardless of how i felt i looked. as much as i appreciated their efforts because i could not 'see' it for myself it offered me little comfort.
i knew i needed to take some form of action as my mood was likely not going to be good for me in the long run. well i posted my feelings on a natural bodybuilding board i've joined and i was encouraged to see that the way i was feeling was actually pretty common. i also sent an email to that natural female bodybuilder that i admire, jennifer abrams.
well as luck would have it jennifer was able to really put things into perspective for me. she recognized that my physique leans towards the ectomorphic-mesomorph, in comparison she is a mesomorphic-endomorph. basically she has a fuller more muscular look to her physique where as i tend to have a leaner muscular look. that is why it so hard for me to see myself as a bodybuilder. to further illustrate her point she sent me the url of ifbb pro debbie patton. debbie is, you guessed it, a endo-meso and one look at the pics in her gallery and i could so see the similarities. granted i am no where near the condition debbie is but we 'look' alike. debbie got her pro card by competiting through team universe which is the 'tested' npc show.
anyway jennifer suggested there may be other things i could do in my offseason to help me achieve that bodybuilder look that i seek. i talked it over with me coach and he is cool with me giving it a shot. so i am going to try and see what jennifer might do differently. i am pretty excited about this, change can be a good thing when it comes to physiques.
but just so we are clear. i am a rookie, i have only 1 show under my belt. i am confident i can get workouts emailed to me and i can do them properly and safely. but when it comes to show time... my coach and my nutritionist have to be people i can see. there will be no changes in the 'team' when it comes to show time next year.
as you know i've been feeling quite small and less and less like a bodybuilder. well my friends, my coach... they all tried to tell me that i was every bit the bodybuilder regardless of how i felt i looked. as much as i appreciated their efforts because i could not 'see' it for myself it offered me little comfort.
i knew i needed to take some form of action as my mood was likely not going to be good for me in the long run. well i posted my feelings on a natural bodybuilding board i've joined and i was encouraged to see that the way i was feeling was actually pretty common. i also sent an email to that natural female bodybuilder that i admire, jennifer abrams.
well as luck would have it jennifer was able to really put things into perspective for me. she recognized that my physique leans towards the ectomorphic-mesomorph, in comparison she is a mesomorphic-endomorph. basically she has a fuller more muscular look to her physique where as i tend to have a leaner muscular look. that is why it so hard for me to see myself as a bodybuilder. to further illustrate her point she sent me the url of ifbb pro debbie patton. debbie is, you guessed it, a endo-meso and one look at the pics in her gallery and i could so see the similarities. granted i am no where near the condition debbie is but we 'look' alike. debbie got her pro card by competiting through team universe which is the 'tested' npc show.
anyway jennifer suggested there may be other things i could do in my offseason to help me achieve that bodybuilder look that i seek. i talked it over with me coach and he is cool with me giving it a shot. so i am going to try and see what jennifer might do differently. i am pretty excited about this, change can be a good thing when it comes to physiques.
but just so we are clear. i am a rookie, i have only 1 show under my belt. i am confident i can get workouts emailed to me and i can do them properly and safely. but when it comes to show time... my coach and my nutritionist have to be people i can see. there will be no changes in the 'team' when it comes to show time next year.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
todays thought
popular opinion is that i think too much... rather i think i feel too much. i would like to stop that. i would like to return to the jackie frost/ice princess persona i was in my youth. i wasn't anymore popular then than i am now... but sh*t didn't get to me then like it gets to me now.
short and sweet today folks.
short and sweet today folks.
Friday, August 18, 2006
yikes!!! and other things
so yesterday morning i am in the kitchen getting my meals organized for the day, much like i do every morning. my mother comes into the kitchen and she is in the mood to talk. we start off with the usual small talk and i happen to mention that i'm very tired, that i haven't been feeling well lately because i haven't been sleeping well.
well my mother comes back with 'my daughter needs some exercise'. now i know that she knows i train 5 days a week so i remind her of that and she says, 'my daughter needs a different kind of exercise'. at this point she has on this grin that frankly i found pretty freaking disturbing and she goes on to add 'that will put you to sleep'.
i had no real comeback for that, frankly i was well horribly uncomfortable and pretty freakin disturbed. exactly when did our relationship change? i don't want a 75 year old girlfriend. i was quite happy with the way things used to be, where we didn't talk about our sex lives... or lack thereof.
i lay the blame soley on the shoulders of dr. phil and oprah. i think i need therapy!!
onto something lighter. i was on my way to my car at the 5 level garage i park at close to work. there is an elevator and a couple of stairwells that you can use to get to your vehicle. well as i passed by the elevator i happened to notice a mo'nique sized woman wrestling with the doors of the elevator. the doors would not open nor close all the way. behind mo'nique were a couple other people and they were watching her push the doors whilst they discussed the fact that there were indeed stairwells. i should also add that mo'nique was not an elevator repair person but just someone who clearly had no intention of taking the stairs!
now maybe it's just me but that was not an elevator i had any intention of getting on, even if she had 'fixed it'. i went straight for the stairwell and started climbing. i think that said a LOT about how lazy we have become.
take the children for example. the instances of child onset diabetes is higher than it has ever been. the children are overweight and horrifically out of shape. generally the only muscle that receives regular exercise are the text messaging/gameboy fingers and what do the parents do? they buy these couch potatoes knapsacks on wheels and shoes with wheels in them!!
a couple days ago i saw a young girl rolling through the underground mall. she was pushing herself along on her scooter while her mother walked along. i shook my head.
not that it would ever happen, but if i had kids they would be like fawkin' marines in comparison to the mamby-pamby kids i see.
well my mother comes back with 'my daughter needs some exercise'. now i know that she knows i train 5 days a week so i remind her of that and she says, 'my daughter needs a different kind of exercise'. at this point she has on this grin that frankly i found pretty freaking disturbing and she goes on to add 'that will put you to sleep'.
i had no real comeback for that, frankly i was well horribly uncomfortable and pretty freakin disturbed. exactly when did our relationship change? i don't want a 75 year old girlfriend. i was quite happy with the way things used to be, where we didn't talk about our sex lives... or lack thereof.
i lay the blame soley on the shoulders of dr. phil and oprah. i think i need therapy!!
onto something lighter. i was on my way to my car at the 5 level garage i park at close to work. there is an elevator and a couple of stairwells that you can use to get to your vehicle. well as i passed by the elevator i happened to notice a mo'nique sized woman wrestling with the doors of the elevator. the doors would not open nor close all the way. behind mo'nique were a couple other people and they were watching her push the doors whilst they discussed the fact that there were indeed stairwells. i should also add that mo'nique was not an elevator repair person but just someone who clearly had no intention of taking the stairs!
now maybe it's just me but that was not an elevator i had any intention of getting on, even if she had 'fixed it'. i went straight for the stairwell and started climbing. i think that said a LOT about how lazy we have become.
take the children for example. the instances of child onset diabetes is higher than it has ever been. the children are overweight and horrifically out of shape. generally the only muscle that receives regular exercise are the text messaging/gameboy fingers and what do the parents do? they buy these couch potatoes knapsacks on wheels and shoes with wheels in them!!
a couple days ago i saw a young girl rolling through the underground mall. she was pushing herself along on her scooter while her mother walked along. i shook my head.
not that it would ever happen, but if i had kids they would be like fawkin' marines in comparison to the mamby-pamby kids i see.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
walkin' down memory lane
a friend was recently demonstrating her google 'prowess' and it inspired me to check what hits still existed from my skating days. well one of the first hits took me to the myspace page of one of the guys from the circuit, someone i haven't seen or thought of in years. well the skaters for the most part are still pretty connected so i was bouncing around alot from myspace to myspace. matt andrews, azikiwee, mike o, arlo, jess... it's almost like everyone is still out there.
i must admit i am not thinking about actively getting onto myspace. i would love to re-connect with some of the skaters and maybe even find some of the others who haven't gotten onto myspace yet either.
and finally i think the search for osama could be concluded quite quickly if my queen of the google friend fired up a browswer window!!!
i must admit i am not thinking about actively getting onto myspace. i would love to re-connect with some of the skaters and maybe even find some of the others who haven't gotten onto myspace yet either.
and finally i think the search for osama could be concluded quite quickly if my queen of the google friend fired up a browswer window!!!
Sunday, August 13, 2006
back in the saddle...
first and foremost i am a bit behind in my posting and that fact was recently brought to my attention. i'm sorry.
since i've last been in here i've done my photo shoot. i was only able to get down to 137lbs. i may not have looked stage ready but i think i did look good enough to shoot. i had some detail, seperation and some ab detail so all in all... i did well.
so how'd it go? well in the continuing saga of miche livin' outside the box this ranks right up there. first there were the wardrobe changes tucked in amongst the rocks and trees. there were more instances of commando dress than i care to admit. then i was crawling over rocks or in the sand! All in all it was pretty fawkin' nutty.
the photographer showed my coach and i a few images that he shot. ok wow! on the screen were a few images of a woman with hair like mine, in a suit like mine. the difference between me and the woman on the camera? she looked like she could easily fit on the pages of musclemag, flex or ironman.
but the best part is i'm offseason!!! 25 weeks of available growth before my next 20 weeks of dieting. time to get huge!!
i think big things can happen this offseason. i'm calling for a 70lb db bench, 225lb bb bench, 250lb squat, 225lb stiff and a 60lb shoulder press!
time to get 'er done!!
since i've last been in here i've done my photo shoot. i was only able to get down to 137lbs. i may not have looked stage ready but i think i did look good enough to shoot. i had some detail, seperation and some ab detail so all in all... i did well.
so how'd it go? well in the continuing saga of miche livin' outside the box this ranks right up there. first there were the wardrobe changes tucked in amongst the rocks and trees. there were more instances of commando dress than i care to admit. then i was crawling over rocks or in the sand! All in all it was pretty fawkin' nutty.
the photographer showed my coach and i a few images that he shot. ok wow! on the screen were a few images of a woman with hair like mine, in a suit like mine. the difference between me and the woman on the camera? she looked like she could easily fit on the pages of musclemag, flex or ironman.
but the best part is i'm offseason!!! 25 weeks of available growth before my next 20 weeks of dieting. time to get huge!!
i think big things can happen this offseason. i'm calling for a 70lb db bench, 225lb bb bench, 250lb squat, 225lb stiff and a 60lb shoulder press!
time to get 'er done!!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
friendship, is it in you?
i have a new definition of friend... courtesy of one of my bike forums.
pepper went down in west virginia, hurt badly and unable to ride. jupiter and some others were riding down in north carolina, but they could not be reached in time. word went out on the board that pepper needed help and addy and ts grabbed a trailer and headed for the canada-us border to bring her home.
i've met some really wonderful people on my bb journey. some i feel would 'grab a trailer' should i need them. my wish for all of you, is that regardless of what journey you are on, may you find friends who would grab a trailer and come get you!
here's hoping your brave new world is full of true friends. from what i've read the waters are full of those who aren't. sadly we both know that should you need it, i would not hesitate to grab a trailer for you. what's sad about that is that i think we also both know, that should the situation be reversed... i'd be on my own.
for the record pepper is now safely back home and resting as comfortably as her injuries allow.
pepper went down in west virginia, hurt badly and unable to ride. jupiter and some others were riding down in north carolina, but they could not be reached in time. word went out on the board that pepper needed help and addy and ts grabbed a trailer and headed for the canada-us border to bring her home.
i've met some really wonderful people on my bb journey. some i feel would 'grab a trailer' should i need them. my wish for all of you, is that regardless of what journey you are on, may you find friends who would grab a trailer and come get you!
here's hoping your brave new world is full of true friends. from what i've read the waters are full of those who aren't. sadly we both know that should you need it, i would not hesitate to grab a trailer for you. what's sad about that is that i think we also both know, that should the situation be reversed... i'd be on my own.
for the record pepper is now safely back home and resting as comfortably as her injuries allow.
Monday, August 07, 2006
balance
i slept last night!! i have been having a lot of trouble with that lately. i just haven't wanted to/needed to go to bed. and poor sleep spells trouble for a bber, be she on season or off.
i've been experimenting with a different mode of training and while i am going through that i am also dieting for my photoshoot. i can only imagine that those two variables collided with the activity of caribana (the annual cultural celebration of my island heritage), and it proved too much to bear. i could barely rise this morning to go to the gym to train. upon my return i HAD to sleep again. i still struggled to wake up from the nap but i had plans with a friend to go see miami vice.
i rode my bike out to her place. sadly it took longer than i thought and she did not have the correct start time for the movie. so in its stead we watched 'the devil wears prada'. i've seen ann hathaway play this role before... i guess she has found her niche. when 't' and i rolled up at the movie theatre we got more than a handful of looks. of course the fact that i was in full leathers didn't help much.
't' has not had the opportunity to see me in full-diet mode before so i am sure today was a bit of a shock. i was due for a meal partway through the movie and unbeknownst to 't' i came prepared. at the appropriate time i opened a pocket of my bike jacket and removed a plastic bag that held a ziplocked portioned meal. i proceeded to dine on chicken and green beans while popcorn snacking and soft drink slurping went on all around me. i then opened another pocket and pulled out an individual portion of crystal light which i poured into my water bottle. i gave it a shake and boom i had a tasty treat. 't' compared my jacket to a clown car from the circus, apparently she half expected a mini microwave to come out from somewhere. please... i rode an hour in full leathers with frozen food in my pocket... there was no need to cook my meal any further!!!
today starts the a.m and p.m bouts of cardio. tomorrow night, if i can get off of work in time, will be my first hip-hop class.
and because its been so long since i've left you a pretty picture... this one is from today. enjoy!
i've been experimenting with a different mode of training and while i am going through that i am also dieting for my photoshoot. i can only imagine that those two variables collided with the activity of caribana (the annual cultural celebration of my island heritage), and it proved too much to bear. i could barely rise this morning to go to the gym to train. upon my return i HAD to sleep again. i still struggled to wake up from the nap but i had plans with a friend to go see miami vice.
i rode my bike out to her place. sadly it took longer than i thought and she did not have the correct start time for the movie. so in its stead we watched 'the devil wears prada'. i've seen ann hathaway play this role before... i guess she has found her niche. when 't' and i rolled up at the movie theatre we got more than a handful of looks. of course the fact that i was in full leathers didn't help much.
't' has not had the opportunity to see me in full-diet mode before so i am sure today was a bit of a shock. i was due for a meal partway through the movie and unbeknownst to 't' i came prepared. at the appropriate time i opened a pocket of my bike jacket and removed a plastic bag that held a ziplocked portioned meal. i proceeded to dine on chicken and green beans while popcorn snacking and soft drink slurping went on all around me. i then opened another pocket and pulled out an individual portion of crystal light which i poured into my water bottle. i gave it a shake and boom i had a tasty treat. 't' compared my jacket to a clown car from the circus, apparently she half expected a mini microwave to come out from somewhere. please... i rode an hour in full leathers with frozen food in my pocket... there was no need to cook my meal any further!!!
today starts the a.m and p.m bouts of cardio. tomorrow night, if i can get off of work in time, will be my first hip-hop class.
and because its been so long since i've left you a pretty picture... this one is from today. enjoy!
Sunday, August 06, 2006
i still haven't found... what i'm looking for
i was in the kitchen a little while ago, cleaning off the foreman grill and i got to thinking. i started to wonder 'why am i here?' not in the literal sense, why was i in the kitchen at that particular point in time. the answer to that was quite obvious as evidenced by the lack of cooked chicken in the refrigerator.
i was wondering why i was or why i am. see part of me thinks that we are here for a reason. i can't really explain it but i've always felt like there was something that i am supposed to do. i know enough to know that i am not here to cure cancer, fix the whole in the ozone layer or promote world peace! you know if the responsiblity for any of that rested on these shoulders... well suffice it to say, it would be in all of your best interests to update your interplanetary passports!!!
i've been thinking again about how i don't really fit in anywhere. there was a family function today at my brother's place, he wanted me to go... but i just feel out of place when i'm around my family, as odd as that sounds. i don't fit in at work, that is for dayumm sure, they are a bunch of hard partying, fast living kind of folk. i can't really say that i fit in at the gym, nor do i feel i fit in with my friends.
i know so many people who know what they want to do, they know what they want to be, and it often seems like they know exactly how to get it. whereas yours truly is tryin' dis, dat and de udda ting... just trying to find my way.
i am a square peg... in a land of round holes.
so... why am i here?
i was wondering why i was or why i am. see part of me thinks that we are here for a reason. i can't really explain it but i've always felt like there was something that i am supposed to do. i know enough to know that i am not here to cure cancer, fix the whole in the ozone layer or promote world peace! you know if the responsiblity for any of that rested on these shoulders... well suffice it to say, it would be in all of your best interests to update your interplanetary passports!!!
i've been thinking again about how i don't really fit in anywhere. there was a family function today at my brother's place, he wanted me to go... but i just feel out of place when i'm around my family, as odd as that sounds. i don't fit in at work, that is for dayumm sure, they are a bunch of hard partying, fast living kind of folk. i can't really say that i fit in at the gym, nor do i feel i fit in with my friends.
i know so many people who know what they want to do, they know what they want to be, and it often seems like they know exactly how to get it. whereas yours truly is tryin' dis, dat and de udda ting... just trying to find my way.
i am a square peg... in a land of round holes.
so... why am i here?
Friday, August 04, 2006
the game??
my coach preaches bodybuilding is a hobby... and expensive hobby, treat it as such. make sure your well rounded, have friends and interests outside of bodybuilding to ensure you keep a level head.
you see there are piranahas and sharks in the bodybuilding waters. they prey on the weak and the desperate. they promise you more than they can deliver and when they have used you up, they cast you aside like trash and latch on to the next 'big' thing. i am fairly confident that i won't fall prey to the evil side of bodybuilding. i have no reason to believe that this sport will morph into a career, i have already done the 'professional' in an alternative sport thing and finally my coach, should i choose to lose my dayumm mind, will effectively and firmly apply his size 10 otomix to my azz and snap me back to reality.
another warrior has fallen in the professional bodybuilding ranks. chris cormier has been hospitalized for the past two months. he is currently re-learning how to walk! a training mishap has aggravated a previous injury and he ended up with an infected vertabrae in his spine. this can be a fatal injury. in an interview i read yesterday, he plans on coming back from this and intends to hit the stage in 2007.
i've decided to take the classes. my coach suggested previously that taking hip hop dance classes would improve my posing and stage performance. improvements in this area, i hope, could potentially lead to guest posing engagements. while i realize at this point that nobody would currently be inclined to pay me to pose... it is another nice sub-goal to work towards. i am a goal oriented person by nature. i like working towards a target lift, bodyfat percentage, placing, etc...
i like to keep myself from going crazy worrying about the end goal by leaping over smaller ones along the way.
you see there are piranahas and sharks in the bodybuilding waters. they prey on the weak and the desperate. they promise you more than they can deliver and when they have used you up, they cast you aside like trash and latch on to the next 'big' thing. i am fairly confident that i won't fall prey to the evil side of bodybuilding. i have no reason to believe that this sport will morph into a career, i have already done the 'professional' in an alternative sport thing and finally my coach, should i choose to lose my dayumm mind, will effectively and firmly apply his size 10 otomix to my azz and snap me back to reality.
another warrior has fallen in the professional bodybuilding ranks. chris cormier has been hospitalized for the past two months. he is currently re-learning how to walk! a training mishap has aggravated a previous injury and he ended up with an infected vertabrae in his spine. this can be a fatal injury. in an interview i read yesterday, he plans on coming back from this and intends to hit the stage in 2007.
i've decided to take the classes. my coach suggested previously that taking hip hop dance classes would improve my posing and stage performance. improvements in this area, i hope, could potentially lead to guest posing engagements. while i realize at this point that nobody would currently be inclined to pay me to pose... it is another nice sub-goal to work towards. i am a goal oriented person by nature. i like working towards a target lift, bodyfat percentage, placing, etc...
i like to keep myself from going crazy worrying about the end goal by leaping over smaller ones along the way.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
to sleep, perchance to dream
first and foremost, although most of the 'planning and thinking' have been taken care of sleep still alludes me. i came home quite tired yesterday and as quickly as possible got myself into bed. i was in bed from 9:15pm and i finally gave up and got back up about an hour later. i sat down at the computer until 11pm and tried that sleeping thing again.
i know that eventually my body will get the sleep it needs, it is just frustrating waiting for it to do so.
last night i went to a dance school to check out a hip hop class. check out as in observe not take. i am contemplating taking classes as it would likely take my posing to 'the next level'. i would like to be one of those people who are known for exciting posing routines. hell... some of those folks can even pick up some extra cash guest posing. now that would be cool. not sure if that class was for me though, the pace seemed rather frantic... i also fear trying to keep up would have me shedding muscle mass by the millisecond.
decisions, decisions
scale is starting to move to the left again, which is good because we are on final approach to the photo shoot.
i know that eventually my body will get the sleep it needs, it is just frustrating waiting for it to do so.
last night i went to a dance school to check out a hip hop class. check out as in observe not take. i am contemplating taking classes as it would likely take my posing to 'the next level'. i would like to be one of those people who are known for exciting posing routines. hell... some of those folks can even pick up some extra cash guest posing. now that would be cool. not sure if that class was for me though, the pace seemed rather frantic... i also fear trying to keep up would have me shedding muscle mass by the millisecond.
decisions, decisions
scale is starting to move to the left again, which is good because we are on final approach to the photo shoot.
Monday, July 31, 2006
you think too much
i'm often accused of that. i can't say that they are wrong. but i do feel that thinking works for me. i do not tend to fly by the seat of my pants. i do tend to carefully consider the pro's and con's. i can tell you that even my bouts of apparent spontaniety have be carefully considered... in advance.
sometimes i decide on my actions quickly and sometimes it takes more time.
this time it took a while, it affected my sleep and i let it affect my mood. but i am happy to say that it worked. i've come up with a good working plan. i've reworked my training week. which should give me more effective use of my rest days. as much as i hate them... they are needed. i've reworked my training to focus more on adding the mass that we all know (or should know) that i need. and most importantly i have forgiven myself for what i consider to be a poor finish at my show.
onwards and upwards
p.s: all the shots are in from the photo shoot i did in ohio last march. he says he is definately going to publish one in the next issue of the magazine. things that make ya go hmmmm....
sometimes i decide on my actions quickly and sometimes it takes more time.
this time it took a while, it affected my sleep and i let it affect my mood. but i am happy to say that it worked. i've come up with a good working plan. i've reworked my training week. which should give me more effective use of my rest days. as much as i hate them... they are needed. i've reworked my training to focus more on adding the mass that we all know (or should know) that i need. and most importantly i have forgiven myself for what i consider to be a poor finish at my show.
onwards and upwards
p.s: all the shots are in from the photo shoot i did in ohio last march. he says he is definately going to publish one in the next issue of the magazine. things that make ya go hmmmm....
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
seeing is believing
so the dvd came in the mail, so i now have a souvenir from the show i did. i watched it as soon as i got home from work.
so what did i think?
i don't know what to think. it would have been nice to be able to look at the tape and jump up and down and scream that i was robbed. but i would be lying. i watched my routine a couple of times. i hadn't 'seen' me do it before, for whatever reason i stopped watching the 'rehearsal' footage the closer we got to the show, you know it really is hard to 'watch' yourself objectively.
i would have to say that i almost enjoyed it in spots. during my routine i clearly won the crowd over... guess that's why i got the best poser award.
next year i have to also win the judges over... i want to win my class... fawk it, i want the overall trophy too!!!!
so what did i think?
i don't know what to think. it would have been nice to be able to look at the tape and jump up and down and scream that i was robbed. but i would be lying. i watched my routine a couple of times. i hadn't 'seen' me do it before, for whatever reason i stopped watching the 'rehearsal' footage the closer we got to the show, you know it really is hard to 'watch' yourself objectively.
i would have to say that i almost enjoyed it in spots. during my routine i clearly won the crowd over... guess that's why i got the best poser award.
next year i have to also win the judges over... i want to win my class... fawk it, i want the overall trophy too!!!!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
the wheels in my head...
thinking, thinking and more thinking. it is all that i seem to be doing lately.
it's 47 weeks till my next show. that gives me 27 weeks of building and 20 weeks of dieting. the key to improving one's physique, and hopefully, one's placing is by making the most of the offseason. i've heard npcchicka say time and time again 'contests are won or lost in the offseason'.
so how to make the most of my offseason?
well first i have to take a good hard look at the package i brought to the stage last time. figure out where i was weak and chart a course to make myself stronger. now 27 weeks sounds like a lot of time but in the world of bbing its not that long... well it is if your dieting. the reality is, there is only so much that i can accomplish in that 27 weeks so i have to prioritize. i am currently trying to ask a few people for an honest opinion on what areas to focus on this offseason. my sense of 'self' is still horrifically distorted after the rigours of show prep. i still fail to see a bber when i look in the mirror and the more time i spend looking at my show pics the more disappointed i am in what i brought to the stage. clearly i am going to need an objective opinion to help me plot my course.
one of the women in the gym this morning was congratulating me on my placing. she then asked where was the picture of trophy presentation. i told her that it was at home. she then said that it should be blown up and placed on the wall in the gym and that she had already spoken to my coach/boss about it. he assured her that he was 'working on it'. i think i died a little inside when she told me that.
last night my mother wanted to talk about my old training partner and what had become of her. she wanted to know if we were still friends or if she 'dropped me'. i told my mother that i was dropped and i could be wrong but it seemed like she got some sort of twisted pleasure out of that. sometimes it feels to me, like my folks revel in my failures. i can only imagine, especially seeing as they hate the sport, how much my family would enjoy hearing about the show. most people can't understand why i say i finished last in lieu of saying i finished 2nd... but trust me, thats exactly how my family would look at it.
training by myself continues. i expect to continue to train by myself... just as well i guess ive got lots of sh*t to do before feb 26, 2007
it's 47 weeks till my next show. that gives me 27 weeks of building and 20 weeks of dieting. the key to improving one's physique, and hopefully, one's placing is by making the most of the offseason. i've heard npcchicka say time and time again 'contests are won or lost in the offseason'.
so how to make the most of my offseason?
well first i have to take a good hard look at the package i brought to the stage last time. figure out where i was weak and chart a course to make myself stronger. now 27 weeks sounds like a lot of time but in the world of bbing its not that long... well it is if your dieting. the reality is, there is only so much that i can accomplish in that 27 weeks so i have to prioritize. i am currently trying to ask a few people for an honest opinion on what areas to focus on this offseason. my sense of 'self' is still horrifically distorted after the rigours of show prep. i still fail to see a bber when i look in the mirror and the more time i spend looking at my show pics the more disappointed i am in what i brought to the stage. clearly i am going to need an objective opinion to help me plot my course.
one of the women in the gym this morning was congratulating me on my placing. she then asked where was the picture of trophy presentation. i told her that it was at home. she then said that it should be blown up and placed on the wall in the gym and that she had already spoken to my coach/boss about it. he assured her that he was 'working on it'. i think i died a little inside when she told me that.
last night my mother wanted to talk about my old training partner and what had become of her. she wanted to know if we were still friends or if she 'dropped me'. i told my mother that i was dropped and i could be wrong but it seemed like she got some sort of twisted pleasure out of that. sometimes it feels to me, like my folks revel in my failures. i can only imagine, especially seeing as they hate the sport, how much my family would enjoy hearing about the show. most people can't understand why i say i finished last in lieu of saying i finished 2nd... but trust me, thats exactly how my family would look at it.
training by myself continues. i expect to continue to train by myself... just as well i guess ive got lots of sh*t to do before feb 26, 2007
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
master of illusion
last night i had to run a couple errands before i called it a night. i had to get the dvd back to the video store and my truck needed some liquid gold.
as i pull up to the pump i happen to glance at the driver of the vehicle behind me. there was a man calmly sitting behind the wheel of an suv, what struck me as unusual was that said man was sitting there entirely in 'white-face'. i fought the urge to do a triple-take, i wanted to pull up to the pump not wrap my truck around it. so after i park i look back, courtesy of my rear view mirror and buddy is now dancing in his ride. i glance at his vanity place... would ya believe 'A MIME'? i kid you not.
he gives me one of those exaggerated mime winks and i smiled back. i leaned against my truck, closed my eyes and started filling the tank. there were two reasons for closing my eyes, first i was tired and was trying to squeeze in a quick nap and two i was ferverently praying that my tank would miraculously fill for under $20. my pump mate, if you will, was not outside his vehicle completing the pay at the pumps process. two kids walked by from the nearby tim's and one of them almost walked into the other when he caught sight of the mime.
next thing i knew mr mime and his mime-mobile were right behind me. it seems that he recognized me, said he saw me in an elevator downtown. since he got the intersection right i had to believe him, i know i get tunnel-visioned at times but i would like to think that i would have noticed riding up in an elevator with a mime. so then buddy-boy starts to tell me about his 'other' business, he does human statue work for parties and corporate events. it would appear that 'they' really like using bbers as human statues and would i be interested.
okay now you all probably care to know what i said to him, but to be honest i was having a little party in my head because he called me a bber! i lift like a bber, i eat like a bber but i guess i don't always look like a bber. sure people can tell i train, that i am serious about it, but rarely do they know enough to call me a bber. so that made my night.
now that i think of it... what was a mime doing actually putting gas into his tank? should he not have 'mimed' it?
since mime's are all about 'seeing' what isn't really there... does it really count that he saw me as a bber?
as i pull up to the pump i happen to glance at the driver of the vehicle behind me. there was a man calmly sitting behind the wheel of an suv, what struck me as unusual was that said man was sitting there entirely in 'white-face'. i fought the urge to do a triple-take, i wanted to pull up to the pump not wrap my truck around it. so after i park i look back, courtesy of my rear view mirror and buddy is now dancing in his ride. i glance at his vanity place... would ya believe 'A MIME'? i kid you not.
he gives me one of those exaggerated mime winks and i smiled back. i leaned against my truck, closed my eyes and started filling the tank. there were two reasons for closing my eyes, first i was tired and was trying to squeeze in a quick nap and two i was ferverently praying that my tank would miraculously fill for under $20. my pump mate, if you will, was not outside his vehicle completing the pay at the pumps process. two kids walked by from the nearby tim's and one of them almost walked into the other when he caught sight of the mime.
next thing i knew mr mime and his mime-mobile were right behind me. it seems that he recognized me, said he saw me in an elevator downtown. since he got the intersection right i had to believe him, i know i get tunnel-visioned at times but i would like to think that i would have noticed riding up in an elevator with a mime. so then buddy-boy starts to tell me about his 'other' business, he does human statue work for parties and corporate events. it would appear that 'they' really like using bbers as human statues and would i be interested.
okay now you all probably care to know what i said to him, but to be honest i was having a little party in my head because he called me a bber! i lift like a bber, i eat like a bber but i guess i don't always look like a bber. sure people can tell i train, that i am serious about it, but rarely do they know enough to call me a bber. so that made my night.
now that i think of it... what was a mime doing actually putting gas into his tank? should he not have 'mimed' it?
since mime's are all about 'seeing' what isn't really there... does it really count that he saw me as a bber?
Monday, July 24, 2006
when mother nature strikes back!
as you know, i have been aiming to spend as much time as i possibly can logging time and distance on my bike. well trying to get any quality riding time in was a decided challenge this past weekend. on the weather menu was written rain and thunderstorm activity. rain is one thing, but thunder is quite another when your hovering over a 400 lb lightening rod.
sunday morning gave me the break that i needed and i took it. i rode the bike in to the gym as i was rounding out my shift one of the members mentioned that it was raining again. well it went from kind of spitting to a downpour in seconds. unfortunately i still had a client to train. suffice it to say i was a drowned rat when i got home.
but it cleared up again soon after so i had to take the bike out again. my parents have some friends that frequently do the big park bbq throughout the summer. i rode over to that but rather than belly up to the bbq i started to get antsy. i gave speed racer a call and she was into it. so i ditched the folks at the bbq and met up with speed racer for a ride.
so there we are happily tooling down the road when we come across a flock of seagulls, (no, not the 80's band members with the crazy hair), chilling on the grass. i can only imagine that the hindle 'music' coming from my aftermarket pipe startled the birds because as we got closer, they got airborne. it was no big deal and so when we came upon some more birds a short time later i don't think either speed racer or i expected it to be any different.
as we rode up, the hindle 'symphony' was in full effect which i can only assume startled the gulls. these birds were none to pleased about being disturbed. much like the other flock of gulls they took to the air, but rather than fly up, or even away from the source of the disturbance they chose to fly straight for it. suddenly i was ducking into my windscreen to avoid gull flight patterns. i can happily say i escaped the 'attack' without injury. speed racer however, was not as lucky... guess you could say she scared the sh*t outta the gull that hit her.
yeah... literally!
sunday morning gave me the break that i needed and i took it. i rode the bike in to the gym as i was rounding out my shift one of the members mentioned that it was raining again. well it went from kind of spitting to a downpour in seconds. unfortunately i still had a client to train. suffice it to say i was a drowned rat when i got home.
but it cleared up again soon after so i had to take the bike out again. my parents have some friends that frequently do the big park bbq throughout the summer. i rode over to that but rather than belly up to the bbq i started to get antsy. i gave speed racer a call and she was into it. so i ditched the folks at the bbq and met up with speed racer for a ride.
so there we are happily tooling down the road when we come across a flock of seagulls, (no, not the 80's band members with the crazy hair), chilling on the grass. i can only imagine that the hindle 'music' coming from my aftermarket pipe startled the birds because as we got closer, they got airborne. it was no big deal and so when we came upon some more birds a short time later i don't think either speed racer or i expected it to be any different.
as we rode up, the hindle 'symphony' was in full effect which i can only assume startled the gulls. these birds were none to pleased about being disturbed. much like the other flock of gulls they took to the air, but rather than fly up, or even away from the source of the disturbance they chose to fly straight for it. suddenly i was ducking into my windscreen to avoid gull flight patterns. i can happily say i escaped the 'attack' without injury. speed racer however, was not as lucky... guess you could say she scared the sh*t outta the gull that hit her.
yeah... literally!
Sunday, July 23, 2006
aiming for clarity
today i want to talk about my opinion on the drug use in my sport. it's no secret that i do not use and it's also no secret that i'd rather not have people think i do use. i can't help but wonder if that gives people the impression that i might be more intolerant than i am? so i am going to clarify it for you... here we go.
first and foremost i am a fan of the sport of bbing. the professional bbers of the IFBB are by no means natural and yet many of them are my favourites and many have physiques that i admire.
secondly, i do not consider users to be lazy or cheaters. the simple reality is that you can take a whole azz cheek full of this and that but if you don't do your work in the gym, don't eat properly or rest adequately your never going to get anywhere.
i understand that if you want to get to a professional level in the IFBB there are choices that have to be made. i don't claim to understand use if your not trying to turn IFBB pro but to each his own... i suspect. i don't claim to know very much about drug use, but i know that what i do know scares me.
do i think that i am 'better' because i chose to be natural? no, it's merely a different means to the same end. what is interesting to me, is that i am still naive enough to be suprised when i realize who is not natural. i said this yesterday for the the first time and frankly i find it somewhat ironic but...
it's not cool to be clean
now understand this, the path i'm on in no way, shape or form means that i am any less serious about bb and my goals within the sport. it's just for me, as ice cube so eloquently puts in 'you can do it'
first and foremost i am a fan of the sport of bbing. the professional bbers of the IFBB are by no means natural and yet many of them are my favourites and many have physiques that i admire.
secondly, i do not consider users to be lazy or cheaters. the simple reality is that you can take a whole azz cheek full of this and that but if you don't do your work in the gym, don't eat properly or rest adequately your never going to get anywhere.
i understand that if you want to get to a professional level in the IFBB there are choices that have to be made. i don't claim to understand use if your not trying to turn IFBB pro but to each his own... i suspect. i don't claim to know very much about drug use, but i know that what i do know scares me.
do i think that i am 'better' because i chose to be natural? no, it's merely a different means to the same end. what is interesting to me, is that i am still naive enough to be suprised when i realize who is not natural. i said this yesterday for the the first time and frankly i find it somewhat ironic but...
it's not cool to be clean
now understand this, the path i'm on in no way, shape or form means that i am any less serious about bb and my goals within the sport. it's just for me, as ice cube so eloquently puts in 'you can do it'
life ain't a track meet (no)and i'm just trying to make it to the finish line.
it's a marathon
Saturday, July 22, 2006
things that make me go... hmmmm
yesterday i went over to tim's to grab a coffee. as i crossed the busy downtown intersection i happened to notice a man trying to earn a few bucks with a squeegee. now seeing 'squeegee kids' downtown is not out of the ordinary, in fact it's quite common. but what made this sighting odd was that the man in question was wearing a two-way communication device. i can honestly say i did not realize that these people, who i had previously thought were homeless, were quite so organized. i mentioned it to a friend who told me that she often sees them with cell phones as well. okay so you don't have a home but you have a motorola razor???... hmmmmm
we had a couple freelancers in the studio yesterday helping out. one of them was sitting next to me and eventually she noticed my 48 can cooler bag sitting on the desk. "hey", she asked, "is that your lunch?" to keep it simple i answered that it was. she then noted that i must take nutrition pretty seriously and guessed that i probably bodybuild (finally somebody who didn't think i looked like a figure chick). her next question took me a bit off guard though. "so whats in there?", she asked. in my defence, i have a huge project on the go and not a whole lot of time to produce it, so mayhaps my response was a bit more succinct than necessary but it was the truth. "food"... hmmmmm
one of the other artists has been keeping me abreast of his workouts. he recently found his way back to the gym and was telling me how he had hit the treadmill 4 times this week. he then mentioned something about 'getting back into lifting', when one of the other women responded with shock "you lift???!!!". i almost fell off my chair. the guy in question was hurt, he kept assuring her that he did indeed lift. one minute he was over by her desk lifting his shirt sleeves to show her his arms. then he was over at my desk to show me a tricep that still maintained a hint of what was.
english isn't her first language, she gamely tried to explain her query all the while grinding his ego into a fine powder under her boots. "well i didn't know,... i mean you just don't look like you lift,... to me". tears are streaming down my face and buddy is giving me whatfor. he felt that i should have said something to back him up or at the very least, not be so dayummm amused. well all he has told me about is the frequency and duration that he has been on the treadmill. well guess what sweetheart, getting on the treadmill is not lifting... it's flippin cardio. however, something tells me he is going to be pounding the iron for real this weekend... hmmmmm
we had a couple freelancers in the studio yesterday helping out. one of them was sitting next to me and eventually she noticed my 48 can cooler bag sitting on the desk. "hey", she asked, "is that your lunch?" to keep it simple i answered that it was. she then noted that i must take nutrition pretty seriously and guessed that i probably bodybuild (finally somebody who didn't think i looked like a figure chick). her next question took me a bit off guard though. "so whats in there?", she asked. in my defence, i have a huge project on the go and not a whole lot of time to produce it, so mayhaps my response was a bit more succinct than necessary but it was the truth. "food"... hmmmmm
one of the other artists has been keeping me abreast of his workouts. he recently found his way back to the gym and was telling me how he had hit the treadmill 4 times this week. he then mentioned something about 'getting back into lifting', when one of the other women responded with shock "you lift???!!!". i almost fell off my chair. the guy in question was hurt, he kept assuring her that he did indeed lift. one minute he was over by her desk lifting his shirt sleeves to show her his arms. then he was over at my desk to show me a tricep that still maintained a hint of what was.
english isn't her first language, she gamely tried to explain her query all the while grinding his ego into a fine powder under her boots. "well i didn't know,... i mean you just don't look like you lift,... to me". tears are streaming down my face and buddy is giving me whatfor. he felt that i should have said something to back him up or at the very least, not be so dayummm amused. well all he has told me about is the frequency and duration that he has been on the treadmill. well guess what sweetheart, getting on the treadmill is not lifting... it's flippin cardio. however, something tells me he is going to be pounding the iron for real this weekend... hmmmmm
Thursday, July 20, 2006
then and now
as i sit here over my second serving of spinach today i am reminded of a conversation i recently had with a friend. she had gone to see my athletic therapist about an injury and during the session they somehow got onto the topic of me. my friend was horrified to learn that at one time i had less than stellar nutritional habits. it's not her fault really, she didn't know me back when phrases like; 'i'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, medium fries and a coke' or 'can i get a small, pepperoni, ground beef, hot banana peppers with fresh garlic?' regularly fell out of my mouth.
but that was how it was over 6 years ago, my athletic therapist remembers when i used to come in for appointments armed with a large bag of nibs, or enough sour charm lollipops with gumball centers, for the both of us.
i have changed, i am constantly evolving, the blame rests solely on this sport that consumes me. i know that i can no longer eat that way and achieve the physique that i want. jennifer abrams is a national level competitor in the u.s., she has the kind of natural physique i strive to achieve. she recently competed this past weekend at the nyc team universe, it is a natural show wherein a amateur competitor can earn their pro status. jennifer and i are about the same height and she just competed at 150 lbs!!! hopefully in another 9 years or so i too will be able to step on stage at 150 lbs.
i think i'm going to need more spinach.
but that was how it was over 6 years ago, my athletic therapist remembers when i used to come in for appointments armed with a large bag of nibs, or enough sour charm lollipops with gumball centers, for the both of us.
i have changed, i am constantly evolving, the blame rests solely on this sport that consumes me. i know that i can no longer eat that way and achieve the physique that i want. jennifer abrams is a national level competitor in the u.s., she has the kind of natural physique i strive to achieve. she recently competed this past weekend at the nyc team universe, it is a natural show wherein a amateur competitor can earn their pro status. jennifer and i are about the same height and she just competed at 150 lbs!!! hopefully in another 9 years or so i too will be able to step on stage at 150 lbs.
i think i'm going to need more spinach.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
the awakening
there was something about that last post. it inspired me in some way, it brought with it a need to find another creative outlet. i can not remember the last time i legitimately had a need to express any real creativity. what about work, you might ask? well if there was any activity likely to suck any and all creative energy from me, it would be computer graphics. so here is the new challenge, i have the desire to be creative and the need to find another avenue in which to channel it. the only remaining question are how and where? to quote shakespeare "ay, there's the rub" (therein lies the rub)
i currently sit 5 lbs out from where i want to be for my photoshoot. the earliest date that we can do it, according to the photographer, is another 3 weeks away. i am re-adjusting the carb cycling... with 5 lbs to go it is too soon for that.
well my friends the gym she beckons. on the new schedule it is chest day and today im feeling like incline db's, hard and heavy... of course. we got work to do.
~the miche-ine~
i currently sit 5 lbs out from where i want to be for my photoshoot. the earliest date that we can do it, according to the photographer, is another 3 weeks away. i am re-adjusting the carb cycling... with 5 lbs to go it is too soon for that.
well my friends the gym she beckons. on the new schedule it is chest day and today im feeling like incline db's, hard and heavy... of course. we got work to do.
~the miche-ine~
Monday, July 17, 2006
oddly enough...
oddly enough the hardest thing,in my opinion, about show prep is not the diet, or the training while exhausted depleted and deprived, nor is it the endless hours of cardio. the hardest thing is what do you do next.
this journey, that i am on, is an awakening if you will. the need to make myself understand why natural bbers are the size that they are. well i think i have learned something new. i knew that it had to do with spending more time dieting and competing than growing. but what i didn't understand was why. i think i get it now.
you spend somewhere in the neighbourhood of 16-20 weeks focused on this one day. and assuming all goes well that day in question arrives and it is bigger than you imagined. but then like the day before it and the day before that... it goes. and then what? you wake up the next morning with a realization that you are no longer x number of days out, you don't have to be in the gym training... i'm sure you get the idea.
so what brought on this sudden burst of melancholy? you know that friend of mine, who won all of those shows saturday? well she was talking about that very feeling this morning in her online journal. she remembered that i mentioned it when i was post-show and i guess at the time she thought i was being particularily strange. but she woke up this morning and got the dubious pleasure of feeling it for herself. her coach posted that post-contest blues are quite common.
what has been getting me through this phase is focusing on what is to come and what i feel i have to do. to bring that bigger, better, undeniable package to the stage next year. i changed around my training week today. i've had the same training days for a while now. but i am going to move some of the days around. prioritize some of my lagging body parts and get some more size on me.
also having the photoshoot to focus on has given me yet another date. i guess i am one of those goal oriented people who just needs to keep some sort of finish line in sight.
speaking of photoshoots, i got in touch with a guy who took some shots of me at the arnold last march. he sent me a copy of one of them today and i was shocked. i blew that picture up as large as i could because i was convinced my bicep had to have been photoshopped. i couldn't find any signs of tampering so i guess that was my arm. holy crap! i think that is the first time i've ever had that kind of reaction to my pics. that's not to say that i am not looking forward to building bigger shoulders, larger biceps and more formidable triceps. but what it means is for right now, today... i am content.
i got in some decent quality riding this past weekend. my bike has a lot of bike friends and she seems to be making more and more friends as the season continues. here is a pic from 3 weeks ago, taken before my first ride through the forks of the credit. beside it a picture taken yesterday when i went out ride with my friend and her new v-star.
this journey, that i am on, is an awakening if you will. the need to make myself understand why natural bbers are the size that they are. well i think i have learned something new. i knew that it had to do with spending more time dieting and competing than growing. but what i didn't understand was why. i think i get it now.
you spend somewhere in the neighbourhood of 16-20 weeks focused on this one day. and assuming all goes well that day in question arrives and it is bigger than you imagined. but then like the day before it and the day before that... it goes. and then what? you wake up the next morning with a realization that you are no longer x number of days out, you don't have to be in the gym training... i'm sure you get the idea.
so what brought on this sudden burst of melancholy? you know that friend of mine, who won all of those shows saturday? well she was talking about that very feeling this morning in her online journal. she remembered that i mentioned it when i was post-show and i guess at the time she thought i was being particularily strange. but she woke up this morning and got the dubious pleasure of feeling it for herself. her coach posted that post-contest blues are quite common.
what has been getting me through this phase is focusing on what is to come and what i feel i have to do. to bring that bigger, better, undeniable package to the stage next year. i changed around my training week today. i've had the same training days for a while now. but i am going to move some of the days around. prioritize some of my lagging body parts and get some more size on me.
also having the photoshoot to focus on has given me yet another date. i guess i am one of those goal oriented people who just needs to keep some sort of finish line in sight.
speaking of photoshoots, i got in touch with a guy who took some shots of me at the arnold last march. he sent me a copy of one of them today and i was shocked. i blew that picture up as large as i could because i was convinced my bicep had to have been photoshopped. i couldn't find any signs of tampering so i guess that was my arm. holy crap! i think that is the first time i've ever had that kind of reaction to my pics. that's not to say that i am not looking forward to building bigger shoulders, larger biceps and more formidable triceps. but what it means is for right now, today... i am content.
i got in some decent quality riding this past weekend. my bike has a lot of bike friends and she seems to be making more and more friends as the season continues. here is a pic from 3 weeks ago, taken before my first ride through the forks of the credit. beside it a picture taken yesterday when i went out ride with my friend and her new v-star.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
phase two
i am now into phase two of my recovery from the nutritional free-fall. basically i have re-introduced the carb rotation that i used for much of my contest prep. the mission, and i do accept it, is to return as close as humanly possible to my contest condition for the shoot.
in other news, as i start to plan my offseason, my charge into the 2007 season i have made this initial decision. it is my intention to take my posing to another level. people who are known for masterful posing routines can, when they are truly lucky, make a little bit of cash doing guest posing. since i tend to like dreaming in HD colour. instead of aiming to just always take the best posing trophy, i'm going to aim just a little bit higher instead. after all i'm still searching for my true calling. the only way to find it, is by the process of elimination.
i am also very excited to report that my friend from delaware had to rent a freakin' u-haul trailer to get all her hardware home. her event was two shows combined in one venue. so she won the middleweight class and the overall in the first show and then won the middleweight and overall in the second show. my girl is going home with 4 trophies!!! i am one of the people who knows how hard she worked for this, as i said before with our shows so close together we went through our preps together. the sc's of the bb board that i am on, have all done really well this competitive season. a lot of top place finishes, overall wins and so forth. i think it is a really good environment for me to be in and hopefully next year i can be hauling in the hardware myself.
in other news, as i start to plan my offseason, my charge into the 2007 season i have made this initial decision. it is my intention to take my posing to another level. people who are known for masterful posing routines can, when they are truly lucky, make a little bit of cash doing guest posing. since i tend to like dreaming in HD colour. instead of aiming to just always take the best posing trophy, i'm going to aim just a little bit higher instead. after all i'm still searching for my true calling. the only way to find it, is by the process of elimination.
i am also very excited to report that my friend from delaware had to rent a freakin' u-haul trailer to get all her hardware home. her event was two shows combined in one venue. so she won the middleweight class and the overall in the first show and then won the middleweight and overall in the second show. my girl is going home with 4 trophies!!! i am one of the people who knows how hard she worked for this, as i said before with our shows so close together we went through our preps together. the sc's of the bb board that i am on, have all done really well this competitive season. a lot of top place finishes, overall wins and so forth. i think it is a really good environment for me to be in and hopefully next year i can be hauling in the hardware myself.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
planning my course
my ego took a major hit yesterday. one of the reporters who covered my show said that my competitor 'handily won the heavyweight class'. now people keep trying to tell me to take that opinion with a grain of salt. although that is good advice, when you get right down to it as hard as i try to play otherwise... i am human.
so for the next 11 months and change i will be thinking about that comment and using it to fuel my workouts so that i bring a bigger, better, undeniable package to the stage in 2007.
in 4 days i have made great strides in recovering from my post-show nutritional free-fall. at this point im still enjoying an offseason diet but ive cleaned up all the crap. the dough from the pizza, the cookies and the bread from the burgers have all reeked havoc on my mid-section. i do know that bread products tend to bloat you, but what i can't remember is, how long it takes to undo the 'damage'. the goal for the photoshoot is to get my condition back as close as possible to my show condition. i have a little over two weeks and i still haven't re-introduced my show-prep diet.
my friend in delaware has her show this weekend. i talked to her for a while on the phone last night, her spirits are good. i saw her pics on the board yesterday, wow... she has done her homework, she is sliced and diced. i told her that i expect a phone call asap to tell me how she did. i can't imagine anyone else will that conditioned on stage... but the reality is, you just never know. either way i am very proud of all she has accomplished. i have often said that its a shame that we don't live closer to each other. we would make awesome training partners.
speaking of training partners, my coach has yet to make his return to the gym so i've been on my own. since my legs are still shot from mondays workout i am going to have to train chest tomorrow in lieu of hammys. it would be nice to have someone around to spot me, should i need it. its not like there aren't people there that i could ask to spot me, but not everyone knows how to spot and not everyone knows how to spot me.
some people like getting a 'lift off', some prefer you keep your hands on them as they lift. i however prefer a hands off technique. i want my spotter to stand behind me paying attention, obviously, but with no contact at all. now if i am about to be crushed by the weight by all means get in there and help me. but if i've got it... keep your hands to yourself!
before a set with a new spotter i will tell them how many reps i am going for, that i will lift it up by myself and to only touch me if i look like i'm about to 'wear the bar'. they always say 'sure, no problem' and on the lift i can feel their hands on my elbows pushing up. grrrr! "i didn't help you", they say "i just gave you a little lift off... you had it". what they don't understand is to me that initial lift is key, it is my way of ensuring that i can lift the weight. if i am struggling to get it up... then i know to put it back down and try something lighter. if i can't get it up by myself, then i surely won't be able to control the weight mid-set.
or maybe im just justifying my independant streak??
so for the next 11 months and change i will be thinking about that comment and using it to fuel my workouts so that i bring a bigger, better, undeniable package to the stage in 2007.
in 4 days i have made great strides in recovering from my post-show nutritional free-fall. at this point im still enjoying an offseason diet but ive cleaned up all the crap. the dough from the pizza, the cookies and the bread from the burgers have all reeked havoc on my mid-section. i do know that bread products tend to bloat you, but what i can't remember is, how long it takes to undo the 'damage'. the goal for the photoshoot is to get my condition back as close as possible to my show condition. i have a little over two weeks and i still haven't re-introduced my show-prep diet.
my friend in delaware has her show this weekend. i talked to her for a while on the phone last night, her spirits are good. i saw her pics on the board yesterday, wow... she has done her homework, she is sliced and diced. i told her that i expect a phone call asap to tell me how she did. i can't imagine anyone else will that conditioned on stage... but the reality is, you just never know. either way i am very proud of all she has accomplished. i have often said that its a shame that we don't live closer to each other. we would make awesome training partners.
speaking of training partners, my coach has yet to make his return to the gym so i've been on my own. since my legs are still shot from mondays workout i am going to have to train chest tomorrow in lieu of hammys. it would be nice to have someone around to spot me, should i need it. its not like there aren't people there that i could ask to spot me, but not everyone knows how to spot and not everyone knows how to spot me.
some people like getting a 'lift off', some prefer you keep your hands on them as they lift. i however prefer a hands off technique. i want my spotter to stand behind me paying attention, obviously, but with no contact at all. now if i am about to be crushed by the weight by all means get in there and help me. but if i've got it... keep your hands to yourself!
before a set with a new spotter i will tell them how many reps i am going for, that i will lift it up by myself and to only touch me if i look like i'm about to 'wear the bar'. they always say 'sure, no problem' and on the lift i can feel their hands on my elbows pushing up. grrrr! "i didn't help you", they say "i just gave you a little lift off... you had it". what they don't understand is to me that initial lift is key, it is my way of ensuring that i can lift the weight. if i am struggling to get it up... then i know to put it back down and try something lighter. if i can't get it up by myself, then i surely won't be able to control the weight mid-set.
or maybe im just justifying my independant streak??
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