this journey, that i am on, is an awakening if you will. the need to make myself understand why natural bbers are the size that they are. well i think i have learned something new. i knew that it had to do with spending more time dieting and competing than growing. but what i didn't understand was why. i think i get it now.
you spend somewhere in the neighbourhood of 16-20 weeks focused on this one day. and assuming all goes well that day in question arrives and it is bigger than you imagined. but then like the day before it and the day before that... it goes. and then what? you wake up the next morning with a realization that you are no longer x number of days out, you don't have to be in the gym training... i'm sure you get the idea.
so what brought on this sudden burst of melancholy? you know that friend of mine, who won all of those shows saturday? well she was talking about that very feeling this morning in her online journal. she remembered that i mentioned it when i was post-show and i guess at the time she thought i was being particularily strange. but she woke up this morning and got the dubious pleasure of feeling it for herself. her coach posted that post-contest blues are quite common.
what has been getting me through this phase is focusing on what is to come and what i feel i have to do. to bring that bigger, better, undeniable package to the stage next year. i changed around my training week today. i've had the same training days for a while now. but i am going to move some of the days around. prioritize some of my lagging body parts and get some more size on me.
also having the photoshoot to focus on has given me yet another date. i guess i am one of those goal oriented people who just needs to keep some sort of finish line in sight.
speaking of photoshoots, i got in touch with a guy who took some shots of me at the arnold last march. he sent me a copy of one of them today and i was shocked. i blew that picture up as large as i could because i was convinced my bicep had to have been photoshopped. i couldn't find any signs of tampering so i guess that was my arm. holy crap! i think that is the first time i've ever had that kind of reaction to my pics. that's not to say that i am not looking forward to building bigger shoulders, larger biceps and more formidable triceps. but what it means is for right now, today... i am content.
i got in some decent quality riding this past weekend. my bike has a lot of bike friends and she seems to be making more and more friends as the season continues. here is a pic from 3 weeks ago, taken before my first ride through the forks of the credit. beside it a picture taken yesterday when i went out ride with my friend and her new v-star.
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