pictures worth 1000 words

i was reminded during saturday's blogging presentation that it is always a good idea to post pictures. so this post is going to be a little more pic heavy than usual.

first of all i wanted to share with you a couple of pics that actually go hand in hand with yesterdays man vs. beast(s) post. this first shot is the tree limb that was my dad's original first line of defence to stop something from burrowing beneath the gate.

these days the bottom of the gate is guarded by this strip of wood. i am not sure of its effectiveness. i guess time will tell.

my weight has been bouncing around 167-172 lbs. so lately i had been allowing myself a cheat meal every weekend that i was at 167 lbs. there have been quite a few pizza and chocolate cake cheat meals. yeah for me!

while working through my knee rehab i have been also focusing on bringing up my lagging body parts. trying to add much needed delts and calf development on top of trying to regain size on my left quad. this pic is about a week old. i can definitely see some improvements with my rear delts. however my arms still overshadow my delts, so as they say... miles to go before i sleep.

and the latest bane of my existance. the wheels. sadly it is still slow going but i have noticed improvments since the acu-stim treatments. i haven't been back for further treatment since june. there was a mix-up at work and i have been getting paid once instead of bi-weekly the past couple of months. the pic below is out of focus and i apologize. it is pretty challenging to flex and stay still enough to take a cell phone pic. i also tried to hurry before someone wandered into the change room. it is hard to keep your street cred when your caught with your shorts rolled up while you're taking a pic of yourself in the mirror.

last fall i went down to florida to spend some time with my family. i am planning on heading back down that way around the end of october. my latest challenge to myself is to get back on the diet wagon to see if i can possibly get any closer to 160 lbs. where we stayed in the keys was pretty scenic, it would make a wonderful back drop to an off season photo shoot. so that is my interim goal.

somebody better warn pizzaville and mccain's that i am dieting again!!

man vs. beast(s)

my father is locked in a battle of wills with some of the wildlife in our neighbourhood.

to really appreciate the tale i am about to tell you, you have to understand a couple of things. first of all my father has it in his head that all his problems stem from the activity of the local squirrel population. depending upon how long you've been reading this blog, you may already be aware that there are raccoons and skunks in the area as well. added to that there are also some nomadic cats slinking about the neigbourhood. we don't know who the cats belong to but they are under the misguided belief that they own all they survey. secondly, my father, like many born and bred in the islands, is known to revert back to island patois when agitated.

there are a lot of people who are of the mistaken belief that all island patois can be referred to as 'speaking jamaican'. each caribbean island has its own distinct patois. island folks know instantly where someone is from as soon as they open their mouth. also each island has an ego and you can pretty much get people hopping mad by suggesting that they come from anywhere other than the island of their birth. much like how you can really piss off a scotsman or an irishman by misidentifying their accent.

since my father planted his garden he has been storming around the homestead muttering under his breath and cursing the squirrels.

island folks have their own way of pronouncing things... a trait most commonly committed by the older population. which is why my dad calls them "skwee-rels". island folk also like to put pronouns after the noun and use the singular version of the noun. so when my father says 'those damn squirrels' what you actually hear is "de d'yam skwee-rel dem" or literally 'the damn squirrel them'.

as far as my father was concerned the squirrels alone were digging up his garden.

something has burrowed under the side gate. originally it was a fairly shallow trench but i guess whatever it is, it has been putting on some weight because lately that trench has been getting deeper and deeper.

my poor father has had enough and has tried a few different ways to discouraging the foraging. mothballs were ground into a powder and spread liberally throughout the yard. fail! some electronic devices were purchased and installed at regular intervals throughout the front and back yards. fail! most recently my father attempted to season the grounds by liberally adding cayenne pepper. epic fail! the morning after the cayenne pepper was laid out my brother and i watched three skunks have some sort of party in the back yard. they were either digging up a storm or were participating in some sort of skunk booty dance. from our vantage point in the kitchen we were unable accurately ascertain the activity and neither of us were stupid and/or brave enough to get close enough to see clearly.

as far as dad was concerned that was the final straw. unbeknownst to me he attempted to block the space under the gate with a tree limb. i went out one morning to open the gate to retrieve my kawi and the side gate was mysteriously blocked. common sense would have dictated that i walk through the house and approach the gate from the other side. on one hand i could well be described at stubborn, although i much prefer the term tenacious. you could probably blame my behaviour on my activities in the gym because these days i am more inclined to rely on brute strength instead of common sense.

that said, there i was tugging, pushing and lifting the gate all the while littering the air with some fairly colourful language. i am fairly confident that the gate and the tree limb were both physically incapable of the activities i recommended they do. further i am fairly sure neither item has a 'mother' per se. eventually i bullied my way into the backyard. i am pleased to note that the gate still stands although it is not quite as sturdy as it once was.

did the tree limb discourage the burrower? nope there was just a deeper trench.

local wildlife: 1  my dad: 0

online trumps offline

even though i am not currently working as a personal trainer it is important to me to keep my certification current. to that end yesterday found me down at the can-fit-pro conference sitting through a few lectures to amass some continuing education credits. my first lecture was actually about blogging and since i have this little spot in the virtual universe i decided that was a lecture i needed to attend.

during her presentation amanda vogel asked if we preferred personal contact or online contact. initially there was some confusion with regard to what she was asking but the group soon assured ms. vogel that they preferred personal contact.

i am a square peg in a sea of round holes... so it really shouldn't surprise anyone, that unlike the rest of the class, i feel far more comfortable with online contact.

back when i spent my days at rampage skate park. i was friends with a few of the other sport enthusiasts which was highly unusual as typically bmx riders and skateboarders didn't much care for rollerbladers. one rider and i had basically nothing more to say to each other in person than 'hi' or 'bye'. however at night we would be talking to each other in online chat rooms for most of the night. we really got to know each other really well and yet offline we barely spoke. we've maintained our friendship through the years, the only difference is now we 'talk' through blackberry messenger.

grant stopped by the gym yesterday evening. he used to work there and i haven't seen him in several months. it was really nice to catch up and hear what he's been getting up to. as the conversation drew to a close young grant stepped in to hug me goodbye. i should add that 'the bloke', who sometimes comments on this blog, was on the stationary bike to my left. 'the bloke' is well aware of my non-demonstrative nature and he found grant's request and the ensuing awkward clutch quite amusing.

i have to admit that i was fairly surprised that the bloke didn't tumble off the bike in a fit of giggles... and yes, 'the bloke' giggles. he would claim that he has a manly giggle but at best he giggles like a manly school girl!

there are a lot of people who seem to be spontaneous huggers so a decided advantage to online relationships is that you are not required to do anything more than the odd hugging smiley and even i can do that!

ms. vogel challenged us all to post a blog and send her the link. she plans to stop by and comment on all of the blog links she gets. i can't imagine what she would be moved to say about this... i guess there is truly only one way to find out.

finally i wanted to take a moment to point out that there are some definite downsides to having my blog on an open forum. it now has the attention of spammers. you will now notice that any comments that you make will not immediately be posted to the blog. they will be moderated by yours truly. i will have them posted as soon as i can. please know that as soon as you enter them i get an email from blogger to let me know they are there. i am sorry that this step is needed but there are clearly far too many people out there with far too much time on their hands. but my friends, please keep commenting. ~ thank you, miche

lone wolf... party of one

my oldest brother stopped by the homestead yesterday. he came bearing an invitation for the family up to his place on sunday for a bbq. there was an extremely awkward moment when he attempted to include me in the invitation.

by now i would think it is a given that i am not going to be at any gathering or event that occurs anywhere other than at the homestead. and truth be told, if i could figure out how to duck out of those as well, i would.

for the longest time i have felt out of place and decidedly uncomfortable at these gatherings. i am not sure if it just further manifestations of my unsociable side or if it has to do with my claustrophobia... or a combination of them both. all i know is that i find it hard to sit still, i have no patience for any of the activities going on and i want nothing more than to be far away. the times when the gatherings happen at the home i am agitated up until people leave. 

getting drunk seems to help me tolerate the extra bodies and i have to ability to appear social. but i will be honest i don't like getting drunk, it gets in the way of my training and i can't help but think that i shouldn't need to get drunk in order to get through events.

is there an event in particular that has prompted this bbq? yes, my brother's sister-in-law has returned from africa or someplace and she will be accompanied by her husband/baby daddy/man and their two babies. on a good day i'd never had anything to say to the woman beyond hi, how are you? 

i have absolutely no interest in children and i was born without a biological clock. or perhaps i found the thing years ago and hammered it into submission. i don't want to see, smell or hold babies. in fact the little fawkers freak me out. i see them as watermelon-sized grenades. the problem being you can't tell when the pin has been pulled and you can never tell which end is gonna erupt. all i know is that whatever is coming out of whichever end is nothing i want to see, hear, wear or smell.

i readily admit that i am really not that nice of a person. but i also recognize that my quirks and idiosyncrasies are all part of my charm!

finally i wanted to take a moment to point out that there are some definite downsides to having my blog on an open forum. it now has the attention of spammers. you will now notice that any comments that you make will not immediately be posted to the blog. they will be moderated by yours truly. i will have them posted as soon as i can. please know that as soon as you enter them i get an email from blogger to let me know they are there. i am sorry that this step is needed but there are clearly far too many people out there with far too much time on their hands. but my friends, please keep commenting. ~ thank you, miche

timing is clearly everything... and mine sucks!!!

over the past 12 years i have had some pretty unnerving gym experiences. by nature i am pretty shy, fairly reserved and i am told i have a rather unusual sense of propriety.
in the locker room there are different types of behaviour: there are women who are quite comfortable with their bodies and will drop trou without reservation. there are those who are the polar opposite and those women will dart into the bathroom stalls to change à la clark kent. truth be told i prefer the latter to the former.

i consistently seem to choose the absolute worst times to wander into the locker room. over the years i have had moments that have almost caused my dreadlocks stand on end.

there was the senior citizen who was bent over as i innocently walked into the locker room. i was greeted with almost a full moon. there was all kinds of senior citizen booty that was not contained by her lilac thong!!

there have been many a time when i turn the corner into the bathroom and am greeted by a naked woman attempting to dry herself with the wall-mounted hand dryer. i really don't have to words to describe the type of contortions required to facilitate that action. believe me when i tell you it is not a spectator sport!!

i remember one woman who wanted to talk while she was as nekkid as a jay-bird. i became very interested in the contents of my locker. i had hoped to afford her to time to put on some damn clothes. yet every time i turned around she was still in butt nekkid. after i ran out of things to 'do' in my locker i spent the rest of the time bent over tying and re-tying my shoes.

today i was greeted by the sight of a member who was bare-assed naked in the middle of the locker room. she was pouring herself into her panty-hose before tugging on her dress. unfortunately i now know that she prefers going commando when she goes out to hit the clubs. that kind of knowledge is really none of my business. and not that she asked me but she really should consider investing in spanx.

i am aware that the general consensus is that we are all women and we all have the same parts. now while that may be true i am firm in the belief that i don't gotta see your parts and you don't gotta see mine. i am not one to change in the bathroom stall but by the same token i also don't dawdle in states of undress.

i would be remiss in letting you think that my gym 'luck' extends only to the women's locker room. i have also had the misfortune of turning around on the gym floor just as some guy has decided to start mining for gold in his crotch. well it was either that or dude had fleas the size of beetles!!

there have also been other 'gentlemen' who have felt that the mirrors provide excellent opportunities to dig stalactites out of their nose or squeeze monster zits. trust me when i tell you that you do not want to know where those zits were.

there used to be a guy who liked to wear those loose fitting nylon running shorts, favoured by marathon athletes, on his leg day. he would precede his workout by performing a series of seated hamstring stretches. it soon became apparent to every one on the gym floor that the man wasn't wearing underpants. every now and then little josé would slip out of the house and say hi. i am not sure which gym employee had the pleasure of telling him that his boys weren't welcome on the gym floor... all i know is that is wasn't me. i'd have quit first!

finally i wanted to take a moment to point out that there are some definite downsides to having my blog on an open forum. it now has the attention of spammers. you will now notice that any comments that you make will not immediately be posted to the blog. they will be moderated by yours truly. i will have them posted as soon as i can. please know that as soon as you enter them i get an email from blogger to let me know they are there. i am sorry that this step is needed but there are clearly far too many people out there with far too much time on their hands. but my friends, please keep commenting. ~ thank you, miche

the results are in!!!

my last blog taked about my plan to share my first fan-fic attempt with people to gauge whether or not i had any real skill with this writing thing. it was a real shock to me how well it was received.

everyone who read it seemed to enjoy it and everyone was kind enough to respond to my request for constructive criticism. generally the comments were similar. most made note of the lack of physical descriptions of the characters. more than one person wondered about the method of drug delivery in the story so that will have to change before the final version is posted.

yes that is right posted. i will definitely put it up on the fan-fic site when i am done.

so what is next? well i have 4 story ideas in the little journal i carry. the next story developed was supposed to be a piece involving women's college basketball and made up of all my own characters. i am convinced that i need more writing confidence before i undertake such  a lofty goal. i also have an idea for yet another eve dallas fan-fic so i am going to start there.

the new story idea has already become a 2.5 page outline in my journal. this story will have the character descriptions missing from my first attempt. it will also have some of the violence that is a normal part of the series.

i was concerned with following the rules with my first attempt. the one's that said to keep it relatively short and not attempt a story too bogged down with characters. but since the first story is already under my belt those rules no longer apply. writer freedom?? i am so excited to see what i come up with.

most importantly i want to thank all of you for your kind words and your support as i continue to grow and evolve. i am not much of a beatles fan but clearly i get by with a little help from my friends.

finally i wanted to take a moment to point out that there are some definite downsides to having my blog on an open forum. it now has the attention of spammers. you will now notice that any comments that you make will not immediately be posted to the blog. they will be moderated by yours truly. i will have them posted as soon as i can. please know that as soon as you enter them i get an email from blogger to let me know they are there. i am sorry that this step is needed but there are clearly far too many people out there with far too much time on their hands. but my friends, please keep commenting. ~ thank you, miche

puttin' on my big girl pants

i suppose after the subject of my previous blog post any mention of undergarments might be a tad alarming. however i assure you that this post has nothing to do with any wardrobe malfunctions or missteps. so what the dickens am i on about now? i merely refer to my first fan-fiction attempt and the steps i have taken to 'get it out there.'

a few months back i wrote my first attempt at fan-fiction and after i shared it i was encouraged to continue the story to its logical end. to date the only one who has read the completed piece is the bloke, as he has been kind enough to edit it for me.

even though the fic is still somewhat un-edited i decided to take a chance and share it. i really want to get some feedback and constructive criticism. the bloke with his pom-poms held high assures me that folks will be impressed. however as i am a natural born pessimist i am fully prepared for folks to tell me to take up knitting!

about 3 copies went out to people who actually like me but the big girl pants refers to the requests i sent to other fic writers, strangers if you will... to see if they might be interested in taking a peek. i have yet to hear back but not everyone spends as much time online as i do.

regardless of how the fic writers respond to my first attempt i will applaud myself for taking yet another important step. a step outside of my comfort zone.

i don't want to belong to any club...

it is said that when offered a friar's club membership, groucho marx sent a letter with the following reply, "i don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member." the first time that i heard that quote i thought it was funny, but i never really thought about what it might mean.

well that was until last saturday.

last saturday i noticed a woman walking on the sidewalk by the gym. for reasons unknown she was wearing a bra... no shirt... just a bra... not a bra top... again, just a bra.

can you imagine my surprise when i noticed she was headed towards the front door of the gym! it was one of the members of the gym! i remember hoping that she didn't plan on training in her underwear but alas she did.

i am amazed that it never occurred to her to put on a shirt, tank top, sweater vest, etc... current bra designs make use of a sheer cup. sheer is never opaque. if it is not opaque it is see through!!

it was further amazing to me that her clothing choice was not challenged. especially since the staff member working that day was also female. if i was still working there i would have told her to put on a damn shirt or tossed her half-nekkid ass out!!

there has been such a rampant display of stupidity on the gym floor of late. and i find that i now appreciate that marx quote on a whole other level.

the beast turns

from time to time i suppose i can be a little bit of a gym bully. according to the bloke last sunday was one of those times.

when i first joined the gym there were rules and they were enforced! one of the rules regarded the 'grunting' that some lifters feel is more a part of the culture than the exercise themselves. now while i can understand why it is hard to perform a 800 lb deadlift quietly. i similarly can't understand why a grown-ass man on the leg press with 3 plates aside, has to scream as though he is being violated by the lifers in cell block 8.

when the 'trainer to the stars' first started working out of the gym, he brought in a contingent of 'competitors' who basically got the grunting thing going. not to be outdone the wannabe's and general ass hats soon leapt into the fray.

turning up the volume on my mp3 player was not enough to drown out the braying. i eventually had to purchase a headphone adapter that had a separate volume control. now i could turn my music up to eleven* (high-five to all of you who got the spinal tap reference).

sometimes even with my music at ear-bleeding volumes i could still hear the ass hats. it was a very frustrating time. due to a situation beyond his control the 'trainer to the stars' left the gym and i had hoped his posse would leave as well. that wasn't the case and the wailing continues.

sunday one of the guys i know was working out at the cable station beside me. he was performing tricep pushdowns and even though he wasn't lifting all that heavy he began to drowned out my music. at the end of my set i walked over to where he was and we exchanged greetings. i pulled out my mp3 player and i asked him to do me a favour. i asked him to make "...that sound again." i believe it was with some pride he clarified, "you mean my grunt?" and long story short i had him grunt repeatedly while i kept turning up the volume on my player. when i finally couldn't hear him anymore i said "thank you" and returned to my workout.

when i told the bloke that story last night at the gym. he confirmed that i was indeed a gym bully. he also bust a gut laughing so clearly he is no angel either.

but as far as i am concerned it was the best possible solution buddy could continue to bellow like a stuck calf and i didn't have to listen to him. i just think it was important for him to realize that his behaviour is annoying... and if he stops all the better!

gym bullies unite!!

the beat goes on

i believe the rib and vertabrae issues are behind me, (feverishly knocking on wood). i cannot put into words the relief that realization has brought to me and more importantly to my sanity. which means i am now back in the gym.

the decision to return to the gym was met with little enthusiasm by family and friend alike. while i am touched at the outpouring of care and support it is extremely difficult to explain, to those people, how hard it is on me when i can't train.

i am reminded of what my mother used to ask me back when i was a child. the poor woman could not understand how a daughter of hers seemingly could not sit still. she would frequently ask, "do you have ants?"

i am an athlete and i have that mindset. i need to compete and i need to train to compete.

periods of inactivity, especially when i feel healthy cause more stress than anything. people assume it means that i have little regard for the quality of my life when i am older. the truth of the matter is that i do care what kind of 'shape' i will be in... however i also have to be concerned with my quality of life and my sanity right now!

that said, i have made the best possible decision for a safe return to the gym. i am following a de-load training protocol. all exercise choices are machine based options. it is necessary to ensure that my back is fully supported during this time. i am also working a three set, ten rep scheme with poundages that i usually reserve for warm-ups. this conservative plan allows me to at least be doing something while i continue to heal. hopefully by next week i can train more effectively.

i should also mention that i shared this plan with my athletic therapist and she is in full support. i have been taking my aches and pains to her for about 15 years. an athletic therapist works to get the athlete back into game shape. through those 15 years i suffered three injuries in which she felt that time off  was necessary. it almost killed me to stop but i did it. it should go without saying that during my time off, she moved heaven and earth to get me back on my skates as quickly as possible. 

i tacked on 5 lbs during my time off. after two workouts and a return to a more responsible eating plan i am down about 3 lbs. go me!

no word yet from my doctor's office. that could mean that my doctor hasn't received my test results yet. it could also mean that the results are back but there is not need for action and/or concern. if i still haven't heard anything my next friday i will call her office and ask.

yesterday i was asked to fill-in for a vacationing co-worker. i was temporarily back on the account that i worked on previously. it went well up until about 2 pm when the woman on the afternoon shift started. 

i seriously can't figure that woman out. it has been 6 months since we have had to work together. if you recall quite mysteriously in late november she basically refused to speak to me. it made the work environment hostile. seeing as her and i were the only two artists on the account it made it even harder to get the job done.

there were several meetings between management and i as well as between management and her and still the hostility remained. when i was scheduled to be transferred off the account, she was all sweetness and light. one day back on the account and the b!tch was back!!

there was a lot of muttering and cursing when i finally got to my car that night. imagine the state of mind i would have been in if i hadn't gone to the gym to work it out.


edited to add:


just got the call from the doctor's office. the results are in, there is a very small umbilical hernia and there were no other areas of concern. clearly the 'whoosh' was nothing to worry about after all!! 

belly of the beast

well the past several days have been pretty interesting to say the least.

i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

the mystery rib/vertabrae issue required one massage and three treatments before i was relatively pain-free. i spent the past weekend in bed and/or shuffling very stiffly around my home. and i was never too far away from my friend, mr. ice pack.

i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

monday morning, i had a doctor's appointment. i've noticed an oddity that i was hoping was not an umbilical hernia. unfortunately my doctor agrees with my diagnosis. damn! 

i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

the next course of action was to book an ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis and to determine the treatment options. unless the hernia is severe or likely to cause an issue, they are typically left alone.

i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

in an interesting turn of events. there was some sort of 'whoosh' noise that my doctor heard in my abdomen. this sound caused her some concern. so much so, that i had yet to clear the waiting room before i was called back into her office. she wanted her colleague to have a listen.

i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

the other doctor confirmed the 'whoosh' and poked at my 'hernia.' the ultrasound could also determine what could be causing that sound. i was told not to worry. umm... yeah... okay... sure.

i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

i had barely cleared the parking garage when i received a call from my doctor's office! my ultrasound appointment was scheduled for the next day!!! suffice it to say that i have been failing the "don't worry" direction... miserably.

i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

yesterday, i had the ultrasound and i have a question. why do all laboratory technicians have to look so damn concerned while they conduct tests? how the 'eff' am i supposed to stave the unrestrained panic... if the tech is staring at the monitor as though she sees something the likes of which she has never seen before?

oh and i haven't been to the gym in TEN DAYS!!!

twenty-four ribs and a b*tch is one

i am sitting here fairly carefully at my desk. i have been doing most things fairly carefully for the balance of this past week. why? well it would appear that i have been having some mystery issue with my skeletal system.

here is what i know. my last appearance on the gym floor was last week sunday and i had a pretty good back workout. monday i was fine and that night i was noticing some positive changes to my rear delts. i spent some time posing to see if the improvements transferred over to the mandatories. tuesday morning i woke up and i still felt fine.

it was a sloooooow day at work and they had me watching another employee to further my training. i remember struggling to remain awake and i was aware that i was not sitting properly in my chair. sometime around noon i became aware of some pretty crazy lower back pain. luckily i had a massage scheduled for that evening and i just applauded my good fortune.

as the day progressed that back pain worsened to the point where it was a struggle to find a comfortable position. my massage therapist found that i had a rib out of position and he hoped that during his treatment he would be able to re-position it. he was not successful. he then suggested that the chiropractor could 'pop' it back in for me. i will be honest i have zero interest in 'popping' anything attached to my skeletal system.

when i woke wednesday morning i was aware of two things. first, that i was not going to work in that condition and secondly that i needed to get in to see my athletic therapist pdq!!! her findings were a misplaced rib and three errant vertabrae. the lot of which she re-positioned, i felt some lingering pain but i felt a lot better than i had.

thursday found me back at work but i was not at all comfortable and as the day progressed my discomfort increased. i was smart enough to book a follow-up appointment for first thing friday morning.

would you believe that the errant rib was out of position again? forty-five minutes of treatment and i was on my way into work. stupid decision? yeah it likely was, i lasted all of 4 very uncomfortable hours before i was shuffling back to my car.

for the most part my days have been the same. i wake up feeling fairly decent and as the day progresses so does my discomfort. i have also been spending so far too much time on ice but when i am frozen i am pretty comfortable so it is hard to resist.

i am perplexed by this injury. i have no clue what caused it or why the damn rib will not stay in place.

i shall end my whine here with an official... this sucks!!!

the osterizer mix

well i should start off first by saying i am in a decidedly better place than the last time i blogged. being in a dark place was part of the reason i stopped blogging before. personally i do not enjoy conversations with people who are negative all the time, i am sure we have all come across those people who almost seem to revel in or just straight up embrace their negativity. since i find that i soon find reasons to avoid those people, i sure as hell don't want to be one of them.

further the constant blogging of my darker thoughts didn't help me any. i expected it would have given me some clarity that would have helped me break through my funk. i guess all i really needed was the time to work through my mood. either way i am not in that place now but i still would prefer to keep the mood here light. i likely will occasionally use this as my own private soap box but i will be the first to slam on the brakes if i don't like where i am headed.

now onto the better stuff. through the encouragement of the bloke i have been working on my first foray into fanfiction. you may have even read my initial attempt if you were paying attention during my 30-day writing challenge. the bloke and a fanfiction writer have both inspired to take my tale to its logical end.

would you believe that story of mine is now 13 pages long? it is currently in the final stages of editing and i hope that i will be in a postion to share it with interested readers before too long. i also hope that i have the cajones to share it as well but that is another matter entirely.

i am happy with what i have written, i am kind of proud of myself for having done it as well. mostly i am surprised that i could do it. i would encourage everyone to put themselves in a position to grow and to be amazed by what you can do. when you succeed it is a truly wonderful feeling.

the success of my first fiction attempt has prompted a few separate ideas for additional pieces of fiction; one about basketball my lastest distraction, another story written in the 'in death' universe and finally a single character that i don't believe i can incorporate into either of the aforementioned story ideas.

of the three, the 'in death' piece might be the 'easiest' to write since i will again be borrowing characters already established. that is not to say that another 'in death' fanfic won't have a new challenge for me to tackle. generally the homicide(s) are quite gruesome and the author usually goes into detail about the scene that the good lieutenant walks in to. i didn't have the confidence to attempt that and i avoided it in my first fanfic. i plan on challenging myself to write the gruesome the next time i borrow the author's universe.

the other ideas are 'scary' in their own right because this time i will be undertaking the challenge of creating my own universe, characters and the like. 

go me!

the scales of injustice.

i was in a good mood when i got home from the gym. my brother and i were having a pretty decent conversation in the kitchen as well. it is about 30 minutes later and my mood has hit the shitter.

my mother was pissed off at my father and she pulled me into my bedroom to tell me all about it... from her side of course. i am not saying my father is not without fault. i am saying both my parents are master manipulators they just have two equally sneaky ways of accomplishing it.

my mother takes the more direct approach. she complains loudly to anyone who will listen about the years of unfair treatment she has had to endure from my father. my father takes the silent martyr role. i am sure his approach is to have people feel sorry for him for his wife's shrewish behaviour.

today after she told me her grievance and was almost in tears, she wants me to tell her if i thought my father's behaved fairly.

any idea how awkward it is to basically be forced to choose between your parents?

i do.

p.s: i apologize for today's blog. i am sure it is written poorly and i should spend more time on the edit but frankly i am still kind of pissed off... so maybe later.

clean up on aisle seven

i was recently in the grocery store to pick up a few staples. i am by design anti-shopping cart. i never purchase enough things to necessitate using a cart and frankly i think the basket allows a certain manoeuverability that gets me in an out of the stores quickly!! 

as i was saying i was in the grocery store and like most stores they no longer deal in just groceries. i cut through the clothing department and as i happened to glance downwards i stopped myself from stepping on a young child who was sprawled on the floor. she laid out almost as though she were at home watching t.v. there were no parents in the immediate vicinity and the child didn't seem particularly concerned. 

i kept walking, since my love for children is well known i hasten to add that i did adjust my path so as not to cause the lounging child an injury. a few racks later i came upon a mother pushing a cart loaded with food and yet another small child. the mother looked over her right shoulder and it occurred to me that she was looking for the youngster working on her roadkill impersonation. as i got closer i said, "about two rows back, flat on her back on the floor." i wasn't looking to bond with the woman... i was just trying to do what i  considered to be my civic duty. however mom felt the need to defend herself and said, "you know what? if we don't walk away she just won't–" 

i never did figure out what she wouldn't do and frankly couldn't care less. as far as i am concerned it was none of my business. it wasn't the fact that i kept walking why i never heard the rest of her sentence but rather it was at that moment her child decided to let out an ear-piercing shriek as though she was being flayed alive.

what happened between the two of them after that i really have no idea. i was practically in a sprint after the kid started screaming... i figured it was better i was as far away as possible should i be overcome with the desire to smother the little POS.

the over saturation of social media

it wasn't that long ago that i closed the proverbial door on my myspace page. an activity that was a long time coming. i honestly couldn't recall the last time i had logged onto myspace and frankly i was getting tired of the spam-mails. it took a herculean effort to rid myself of myspace and i went through the procedure to delete my account for several weeks before it finally worked.

some days i feel like facebook is next on my hit-list.

there are the 'pluses'. the people who live far away who's posts and pictures are our sole means of contact and the special interest groups that i am actually interested in.

there are the 'cons'. the people who post every single thought and opinion they have. the drama kings and queens who constantly cry wolf for attention. the wanna-be dj's who post a barrage of music video's that they enjoy. the nutritionally reformed, a select few that have had some dietary success. they proceed to litter their time lines with the nutritional content of junk food, pictures of healthy meals 'we all should be eating'. pardon me for thinking that you need to walk the walk for more than a few months before you start preaching.

and be wary of how much you share.

there was a person on my time line who decided to diet and posted progress pictures to track their weight loss. i don't have a problem with progress pics, i use that technique myself. i am fairly confident that i wouldn't be posting my starting pics on social media but to each their own. i was quite surprised to see them in almost all of their glory and i further thought that was some pretty fearless behaviour. it turns out the person didn't realize how public posting pics in your knickers on facebook can be.

surprise!!!

and while i am astride my soap box... when it comes to progress pictures i really wish folks didn't deem it necessary to bend their elbows at odd angles. i understand that they think they are flexing but there really is much more to it than making fists and bending your elbows. the term flex actually refers to the active muscular contraction of a given muscle group or groups.

and does anybody else hate the 'like' feature as much as i do? i am not talking about how you can like a comment or picture but rather the list down the side that tells you that your friend penelope* likes peas. i mean really... who gives a ??

* the use of penelope was merely as an example and i apologize for misrepresenting any penelopes on your time lines. particularly those who are either ambivalent or grossly anti-pea

karma chameleon

i've been quiet for the last little while. it hasn't been because i haven't had anything on my mind. it also hasn't been because i have been particularly busy or distracted by other things. although i will add that the wnba season has kicked into high gear and wnba live access has kept me hopping.

sometimes a subject comes up that i don't want to discuss in this somewhat open forum. but my muse, if i can claim to have one, is as stubborn as i am and clearly that is the only subject rattling around between my ears.

a couple weeks ago i was involved in a conversation about someone who i used to know. a person who i strongly feel misrepresented themselves as a friend due to some misguided belief about what i could do for them. i truly believe that i am the kind of person who would 'help' someone if i could simply because that is the kind of person i am. so the need to feign friendship offends me.

through the proverbial grapevine i've learned that i was not the only step on their ladder to 'success.' several years have past since we were quasi friends and i've learned that since then the discarded bodies continue to amass.

i am familiar with the concept of karma but i can't say that i believe in it or that i have seen it at work. i have seen some really fundamentally sh*tty things happen to some really wonderful people and i have seen some folks who live with little regard for others getting their hearts desire.

interestingly the person who i was speaking with was trying desperately to convince me of the validity of karma. i say it was interesting because a few minutes later he was telling me of some fairly shady behaviour of his own and frankly he was just a little proud of himself for it. methinks he needs to rethink his stand on karma.

to put it another way he better hope that karma is bollocks!! otherwise pestilence and scurvy are headed his way.

once more unto the breach

i've just had the last in the series of three acu-stim quad treatments.

if you have been following along you are well aware that i have been getting a massage and acupuncture. electrodes are attached to the acupuncture needles for deep muscle stimulation. i have also been trying to endure a more aggressive stimulation each time.

after the first two treatments i don't notice any change in the size of the muscle. frankly i think it would be too soon to be able to see that. i have noticed increased joint stability, particularly first thing in the morning. it was quite common for my knee to shift laterally when i climbed the stairs. i attribute this new stability to the acu-stim treatment.

i suspect that a stronger more stable joint will respond favourably to training. i expect that before long i will notice improved shape and size in my vastus lateralis, the quad muscle that i felt suffered the most from my injury.

and for those who enjoy watching my quad shimmy...

where's the flood??

there was a lad in the gym last evening who had me quite perplexed. for once i wasn't confused by his training application or his form. what had me giving my head a shake was the 'urkel' nature of his gym shorts.

this was a lad in his mid to late 20's, so it wasn't one of those strange old guy trends. i suppose on one hand it was a pleasant change of pace from the kids who wander around with 6 inches of boxer's on full display.

it was his leg day and he performed multiple sets of squats and deadlifts with his shorts all up in his business. i can only imagine how uncomfortable it might have been for him to walk around with the inseam of his shorts tickling his duodenum but when you factor in squatting and further add the pressure from the weight of the bar. frankly i can't help but wonder if there wasn't an easier way's for him to sterilize himself.

and while i am on the subject of how people wear their clothing. what is it that causes folks to raise their pants higher as they advance in years? i don't wish to over-share but at the rate my father is going it won't take much longer until the waist band of his pants fit him like a choker.

shake, rattle and roll

the video below is from my second quad treatment. first a hour long massage followed by acupuncture with electro-stimulation.

i felt that i needed to try a more aggressive approach to ensure the validity of this treatment option. to that end i had them turn the machine up a bit. i don't think you will have to watch as closely as last week to see the muscle contraction.

ladies and gentlemen may i present the macarena a'la miche or the franken-miche part deux.

either way... enjoy