pressing on...

so the most interesting to report is probably the fate of my suits. i mentioned yesterday that it would appear somehow that i messed up my address on my order form. so my suits have been deemed 'undeliverable' by purolator, they are either on their way back to canada post or houston, texas. i've been trying to see if there is a way that i can get them before they are returned but since it's a) not the standard procedure and b) since neither company is really sure where they are... chances are, they are going back to texas. hopefully they had a lovely trip.

i am sure i am coming across as unnaturally calm and in a way i guess i am. fact is although i am still trying to locate my suits and get them here, they reality is this situation is out of my control. my coach feels that if this is the worse thing that is going to happen on my way to the stage then i am doing ok. as he pointed out, my physique has come in the way that both he and the nutritionist intended, thus it doesn't really matter what i am wearing. any placings i have are not going to hinge on the fact that the suits i will be wearing will be off the rack. he also said that 'we both know this is not the last time you will be doing this so...', ummm... its not???!!!.

the other interesting thing was i completely lost my mind yesterday anyway. i woke up in this funk that i can't explain. i unloaded in my online journal on my bodybuilding board and i think i may have scared the hell outta some of my friends. those of them who have competed previously told me to calm down and that my feelings were a direct result of the show prep. again... i had no idea that show prep would be like this. my mood is sometimes comparable to a whammo super ball bouncing around inside of a squash court. although for the most part, i think i haven't been too difficult to be around.

finally ran into one of the account managers from work, who i haven't seen in a while. she noticed that i had lost a lot of weight, (17 lbs to date), apparently she thinks i look good at this weight and was amazed to hear that i had no intentions of staying here. i may look good to her but i can barely stand, i have zero strength and energy.

today i get to try boiled chicken... there's the microwave, well here goes!