this was the weekend of the toronto pro show and it might be a surprise to learn that i didn't attend. that i didn't follow the results or look at any pictures. to be honest i haven't attended a bodybuilding show in several years. have i lost interest in the sport? no. the problem is it is still too painful for me to go.
the first show year after my injury i went to a couple of shows, mostly because i had helped another competitor with his posing. being in the audience knowing that i could not compete was really difficult for me. it was salt in a wound difficult. not long after that realization i also ceased and desisted on the bodybuilding message boards.
i really thought it would have been a temporary measure but here we are 5 years later and i am still a ways from getting back on stage. the desire is still there, the dream is still there but alas the left quad is not there... yet
when i got to the gym today i learned that competitors had booked the gym for post-show photo shoots. so while the rest of us trained there were the tanned and oiled flexing and lifting among us. i caught the scent of protan in the air and frankly it all made me kind of sad. in fact i'd be lying if i didn't admit that thought seriously about leaving but i will be damned if i let anyone run me out of my gym.
in other news a very healthy 477 written words today.
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